Tales of the Scarlet Kaida
by LittleDragonWrites
Summary: "Pirates!" Allura exclaimed, feeling a shudder through her spine. "You can't be serious, Kolivan. Those people can't be trusted!" ** While they were discussing war strategies and their plan to defeat Zarkon, Kolivan asks the team to meet with the Scarlet Kaida and its captain. The enemies of my enemies are my friends, right? Or so Lance hopes. (Also available on AO3)
1. Scarlet Kaida

"Pirates?!" Allura exclaimed, feeling a shudder through her spine. "You can't be serious, Kolivan. Those people can't be trusted!"

"They've been allies of the Blade for a while now and we could always count on them. They'd do anything, anything, to defeat Zarkon. They, too, are victims of his cruelty."

"But still…" Allura's voice came down to a whisper, obviously shocked by the outcome of the conversation.

"Remember how months ago you believed all Galra were ruthless people and none of them could be trusted? And here you are, standing in a Galra rebel base. Planning the revolution with us. You can't say pirates are all the same without meeting them once. They have their ways, we have ours, and you have yours. But we have a common enemy and this is all that matters." She hated to admit it, but he did make a valid point. Even so, the suggestion made her uncomfortable.

"But Kolivan," started Shiro, supporting Allura, "you can't blame us for not trusting them. I mean, we can't possibly ally with such people, who cheat and lie and steal and -"

"Scarlet Kaida's ship crew is different." Kolivan cut him short, his voice leaving no place for doubts or buts. "They only attack Zarkon's troops and bases now."

"Now?" picked up Hunk. "What do you mean now ?"

"This is part of our contract with their captain." Kolivan paused, looking at all the paladins around the table and the two Alteans next to them. Maps and pens were spread across the table, along with empty cups of energy drink that Lance had called coffee. The few days had been tiring, and the sleepless nights had a toll on the Voltron team. They needed to strike Zarkon now. "Plus, they are the only ones who managed to get in and out of Zarkon's fortress without them noticing. We need their help." The statement brought all paladins to snap to attention.

"They did what?!" All the paladins were shocked. Zarkon's strongest fortress invaded by mere space pirates, that was one thing. But the fact that they managed to get out? That was a first. Without them noticing? That was unbelievable.

After a long talk with them arguing back at how reckless the idea was, they reluctantly accepted to meet the crew and their captain. Kolivan was right: They couldn't deny new allies. Not when they were at war. Not when they needed every possible help they could get.

The enemies of my enemies are my friends, right?

And so, they were back in the Castle, heading for the location Kolivan had given them. "Don't be late", he had said before their departure. "They don't like that." His voice had betrayed slight amusement as he had said that… Whatever could that have meant?

"Are we really doing this?" Hunk asked, fidgeting in his seat. "Meeting with pirates in an unknown location?"

Pidge twitched at the word and worked harder on her computer, trying to find out more about the place where they were going to wormhole the whole castle. Anything about the atmosphere, or about its inhabitants, anything.

But she could find nothing on it. Nothing special, no planets, no recorded space rock fields, or dangerous areas. Just an empty area of space, as if, as if someone had just pulled out a map pointed at a random point and declared it their meeting point, Pidge thought, sulking in front of her screen. She didn't know if the intuition she had meant good or bad news for them, and she dreaded finding out.

"We'll have to trust Kolivan on this," started Allura, "after all, every mission we went with him went good and he often put the sake of his men and his own safety in danger to get us out of tough situations. Let us not start losing trust in our friends again, we've seen the consequences of such things in the past already." She flicked her eyes to Keith, making it obvious she was referring to her reaction when she had learned about Keith's Galra legacy. The red paladin seemed to have forgiven her since then, but she still couldn't help blaming herself for that. And she'd make sure not to make the same mistake twice.

They all had agreed they couldn't just wormhole the whole castle. Allura and the paladins were to go to the meeting point on a smaller ship while Coran kept his watch over the castle and would be able to wormhole it to the location if they raised the alarm.

/

"So, what do you think they'll look like?" asked Lance, excitement evident in his voice, as they all landed on the ship that had appeared just a tick after them. His mind was running wild with memories of the pirates' stories his mother would tell him before he fell asleep: wooden legs and eye patches, treasure on lost islands, beers, rough laughter and… skeletons and blood.

Yeah, maybe it could be great if they'd stop at the beers, on their "why are we pirates" checklist. He gulped.

"Don't let yourself get fooled by the appearance of the ship, Lance," warned Hunk, "or we'll be obliged to refresh the memories of your last encounter with pirates to you."

"I thought we were best friends Hunk! I feel utterly betrayed here!" Lance answered in a sulky voice.

"I kept the audio files if you need more details," whispered Pidge in the com with her devilish grin.

But Lance couldn't help it, the ship just looked like the pirate ships in his childhood stories. It basically was a pirate boat. But in space. Yeah right. If their captain was named Albator he didn't want to think of the diplomatic catastrophe his laughter would create.

"Lance. Focus, please." Shiro winced in the com. Goal. Now, he too had the theme song in his head, sorry not sorry Shiro.

But he focused back on the mission anyway. Only to confirm his thought that no one was on the deck. It was completely silent. Empty. "So, I knew we weren't to expect a welcoming ceremony but like, someone to indicate the way would haAHH. What was THAT?!" his voice turned into a high-pitched yell.

A huge black creature had appeared, in front of them, into a swirl of black shadows. Out of nowhere. Into thin air. Like it was nothing. Teleported.

Sometimes Lance wondered why all the space meetings had to start with a heart attack. But at least he wasn't the only one to had stepped back. The space dog was, after all, big. Really big. And looked really deadly.

The black creature suddenly turned back and began walking towards an entrance. It stopped and turned its big head towards them once again. Waiting, as if they were expected to follow that.

"Do you think it's... leading the way?" Hunk was bewildered as he voiced Lance's thoughts. He hoped on quiznak that wasn't the case.

"Let's find out." And Allura followed after the creature. Yeah, maybe she was more used to deadly black creatures that could appear into thin air just like that, in a blink of an eye. She was an alien princess after all. Lance's brain added "Can dogs turn into Death Eaters?" to his mental memento anyway. He gulped and followed after Allura, despite his intuition telling him he was making a mistake.

They stepped into a dim lit corridor, and even though Lance didn't waste any time on trying to discern what was glued and pinned to the walls, the difference between this and the Castle or the Blade's ships stroke him. This wasn't a simple ship: it was a home. And all the walls they passed were covered in what could only be memories and souvenirs of the persons who inhabited this ship, just like his mother did at home, plastering the empty halls with pictures of the family, drawings, and decoration.

The creature led them down wooden stairs, turning at another corner before stopping in front of a door, from which the music they could all hear for a few minutes outside now escaped, and nudged it with her snout before disappearing once more.

Shiro and Keith pushed the door open, hands ready to take their bayards at any moment if the situation they'd face inside was any sort of trap. To their surprise, the door creaked open to reveal a huge room with a high ceiling, wooden panels, and plants. A warm light was bathing the place. Lance would have called it welcoming and cozy if it wasn't for the whirlpool of shadow that materialized again on the other side of the room, at the feet of a young woman with a grin on her face and a sword at her belt.

Okay, Lance hadn't expected that. Not the fact that the captain was a woman was bothering him, he just hadn't expected her, them to look so... human. In the room, next to the walls, was the crew and, even if he spotted some blue skin, pink wings, greenish tails and big fangs, most of them looked more human than every other alien he had met since he had become the blue paladin of Voltron.

The woman standing in front of them stared back at him, before returning her gaze to the others. Even if she looked human, her attire was anything but usual: a red hood down on her shoulders, brown pants tucked into knee-long steel boots, and a black sheath tucked between her belt and the green cloth beneath. She looked more like Robin Hood than a pirate if he had to be honest.

Not a sheath he realized after a moment, but a blade. The blade itself was dark as ebony and seeing the gleam it reflected under the light, it seemed it was as sharp as Keith's own dagger.

Keith was eyeing the blade too and... Was that awe in his eyes? Great, he was surrounded by madmen in love with blades and swords. Cool.

"Welcome aboard the Scarlet Kaida, paladins, Princess." She paused, a smirk tugging at her lips. "The Blade told us about your arrival, what do you want from us? I didn't know the mighty paladins were ready to seek help from pirates." She mocked them with her grin.

"The leader of the blade had told us of your… accomplishments in the Galra fortress. We are here to meet with the Captain of this vessel." Alura spoke cautiously.

"And the captain you shall meet, Princess." Lance whipped his head upwards just in time to see a silhouette jumping from her spot in the ceiling, blue coat floating in her fall. Had she been there all along? She landed on her heels, clicking on the wooden floor, and flicked upwards the hat she was wearing, revealing a long braid of brown hair and an ocean of freckles under her bright eyes.

"Captain," sighed really-sharp-black-sword woman, "will you never stop your dramatic entrances?"

"Never!" she laughed, and walked toward her and ruffled her hair, "and come on, I know you all love when I do that!"

Lance had been so focused on the ebony sword earlier that he had not realized how short really-sharp-black-sword woman was. She was now bickering with her captain on how not professional her attitude was.

She looks so young, thought Lance, bewildered by the appearance of the person that claimed to be the leader of this ship and its crew.

"So, what," she smiled, sarcasm in her voice, "Lance McClain, a 17-year-old earthling gets to be the paladin of a giant lion robot, and I, Lucy Fair of Atlantis, can't be a good captain?"

Great. Lance had now vexed the captain of a pirate ship because said captain could read minds. (Punny names and drama entrance though? Lance really hoped she was going to be an ally because he already liked the girl.) She stared him in the eyes, patting the head of her hound with one hand, who now had flames flicking around its tail, a growl in his throat, and a deadly glare in his eye. Good, even the pet seemed to be overprotective of his master.

"She." stated the Captain. "Our Merryn is a she and she is not a pet. She's part of our crew, just like anyone else. We wouldn't have broken through Zarkon's fortress to rescue a simple pet."

"So, it's true?" asked Shiro, not at all shocked by what she had just said. They had freaking broken through the Galra empire's fortress to rescue their dog comrade?! A very powerful and scary doggo who could do magic, Lance had come to understand that, but still. What had space done to their level of extraordinary tolerance?! Had it just become normal to Shiro now?! That, or he was just better at keeping his poker face on. Yeah. Probably.

"Yes, it is, and pardon me for not introducing myself properly earlier." The shorty… The woman next to the captain, Lance corrected himself after meeting the former's death glare, interrupted. "My name is Julie Teerah Eterna, first lieutenant of the Scarlet Kaida!"

"And after, Jijii, it's me who isn't professional", grumbled Lucy.

And with that, Jijii, Julie Teerah Eterna, first lieutenant, Ms. really-sharp-black-sword woman, stuck out her tongue at her captain. "I never said I was Lu'," she shrugged as if such behavior was absolutely natural.

Lance couldn't believe what he was seeing. And it seemed the others couldn't either, judging from the puzzled looks they could no longer contain. Hunk looked at him in disbelief, and Lance gave him his best "I don't know any moreman" shrug in return.

His thoughts flipped back to the corridor walls from earlier. Home. Family.

The black hound, Merryn, Lance reminded himself again, fearing the captain's ire, barked and the two women stopped their bickering.

"Yes, Merryn, you're right." Spoke the captain, tapping the head of the dog with a gentle gesture (If she could speak with her dog now, Lance was definitely going to lose it). "So! Paladins! What do you want from us exactly?" Lucy asked. As if she didn't know already.

"We have our plan to defeat Zarkon. And Kolivan told us you were the fitting crew for the job of getting us in."

Captain Lucy Fair didn't pretend to think about it really hard, didn't fake any internal debate, nor did she try to negotiate. "Count us in" she replied right away, in a determined voice, one hand resting on Merryn's head the other on her amethyst dagger at her belt, its purple color gleaming under the light as she shook Allura's hand. Purple.

"Don't take that as recklessness, Princess" spoke the first lieutenant. "Just like we said before, we knew you were coming. Kolivan told us what it was all about."

"And no one on this ship will deny an opportunity to beat Zarkon's ass and make him pay," the captain said, finishing her lieutenant's sentence. "No one. Especially not for the final battle," she huffed out a laugh and, agreeing with her words, all her crew cheered. She turned her back from the six of them, her blue coat swirling once again, and flicked her hand upwards, revealing more and more crew members, hidden by her magic until now. They were everywhere, sitting on the same mezzanine she had jumped from, on benches next to the table in the room, more on the walls than there was a second ago, but, most importantly, behind them, as well. So, the hound hadn't been the only one to lead them here, uh?

Pidge gasped next to him, unable to hide her surprise. "Don't you think it's a threat, Princess?"

"Quite on the contrary, Pidge. She's proving that she could have defeated us, or even worse, in the blink of an eye, with the flick of her fingers, a wordless order in their mind, but she didn't. And she wants us to know that." Allura smiled, "I'm starting to understand Kolivan's words now."

In a heartbeat, the mood inside the room had changed to a more cheerful one, music resonating through the walls, cheers, and laughter filling the small space, people dancing and singing all around, the captain and her lieutenant themselves twirling and fluttering in the crowd. And soon enough, Allura and the others were swallowed in this cheerful mess.

/

Hours later, they had all settled around a huge table, eating, while the music still played (but on a much lower level than earlier this time). Coran had joined them too on the deck, when the lieutenant asked, "how about our payment though?"

"What payment?" asked a tipsy Allura.

"You don't think you're going to get our help for free, right?!" Julie sounded offended.

"Isn't saving the universe from the yoke of its evil emperor enough of a satisfactory reward?" Coran answered, combing his mustache.

"Ha-ha, that's a good one!" Lieutenant and captain burst into laughter. "You're not being serious here?" they said in unison after seeing the paladins' confused faces. "I'm afraid taking care of the emperor won't fill our bellies." They exchanged a look. "We know what will though," and they turned their head in sync to Hunk, "Mr. yellow paladin" they trailed, batting their eyelashes, "we've heard you're quite the cook. Would you mind sharing those precious recipes with us?" they closed in on him, their looks turning from gingerly to intimidating.

"I guess I can't say no," he stuttered. It's not like they were just for the group…"

"Yay!" Both girls high fived and dived in their plates once more.

Lance couldn't believe his eyes. Space pirates, hellhound, mind reading, a party in the middle of an alliance treaty, and now puppy eyes for a bunch of recipes? And all in a few hours!

Kolivan's words came back to his mind.

Scarlet Kaida's ship crew is different

For sure, they were quite different indeed.


	2. Rise and shine

Lance yawned and stretched his arms as he woke up slowly, hearing a morning greeting from Shiro across the room. The leader was every bit of what one would expect the Black Paladin to be, fulfilling the morning ritual of sitting on the neatly made bed with a bunch of papers and pens, a plan and different strategies on his screen. Lance recognized the folders from the different meetings with the Blade and the rest of the Coalition.

A few days had passed since their first meeting with Kaida's crew and since then, there had been several meetings with the different leaders and paladins to discuss their plan in deeper details and what they were to do for the big, final battle. D-day as they said.

It had never been so close. They had never been so close to defeating the Empire. Never so serious to shade some light on the bleak horizon of Zarkon's reign. Their dreams were becoming reality, and that in itself seemed like a dream.

Lance felt the anxiety levels rising, a well-known warning going off in his brain when his ears suddenly caught a familiar sound.

"Is that-"

No, it couldn't possibly be! They were in space! Light years away from home. From Earth.

"What?" Shiro looked up from his notes, intrigued.

"Is that Eye of the tiger I'm hearing?!" Lance deadpanned in utter disbelief.

"What?"

There was no way in hell Lance was mistaken and as crazy as it sounded, he followed his instincts and jumped out of bed to follow the sound's source.

As he came out, forgetting to put on his shirt in his hurry, he came across Keith in the corridors. The red paladin seemed as confused as Lance. And so was Hunk behind him.

Lance smiled fondly at his best friend. Ever since he'd learned that Keith was part Galra, Hunk had tried his best to always stay with him. Not to spy or watch over him; no, just to make sure he didn't feel rejected or alone. Both had become quite close friends over the weeks, once Hunk had "broke through Keith's walls". Hunk's words.

Keith seemed to have decent music taste, Lance pondered, considering he recognized the song. But who didn't anyway? Any person that heard it at least once was bound to get out of their rooms when it was being sung in freaking space! Or maybe it was Hunk's doing.

But Lance was putting too much thought into the matter so early in the morning. To begin with, that wasn't even their biggest problem right now, so he focused back on his task: following the melody of Survivor's most famous hit.

The sound led him to the main room, the one they ate in on the day of their arrival on Kaida's deck. Voltron team had been staying on board with the crew for different reasons. Firstly because the castle was well known by the Galra now. Secondly, because said castle was getting war upgrades and needed a well fix-up in a secret base of the Coalition. And finally, because the ship had become the meeting point for their meetings with the other representatives of the planets. The captain's ability to hide everyone's presence - or even the ship itself - if needed came in a handy.

When Lance finally traced the sound to its origins, his jaw dropped. Both him and Keith stopped on the threshold, watching in disbelief at the scene in front of them.

A small group of crew members, Bat Captain and Dark Sword Lieutenant were fastening across the table, making breakfast to a very 'top earthlings hits' playlist playing loudly in the background.

"Don't!" shouted a young female in a purple tank top when the lieutenant was about to shake the mixture off in rhythm with the music.

"But Lo!" whined lieutenant Teerah, making puppy eyes.

"Don't 'but Lo' me!" the woman shot back, unimpressed by the display of cuteness.

"We won't let the blondie singer ruin our morning cake once more," declared a woman with aviator goggles.

"Follow the recipes and not the song's lyrics Jiijii," laughed the captain.

"You're no fun," the other one scowled.

If someone had told him that he'd see space pirates making breakfast with Taylor Swift songs playing in the background, he wouldn't have believed it. Not until now, at least. But there he was, witnessing the unbelievable right in front of his eyes.

Lance blinked. Once. Twice. He most definitely wasn't asleep.

Beside him, Keith looked just as shocked.

It's only when a Merryn covered in space flour ran in their direction - the exit's - followed by a barefoot Lieutenant Teerah that the crew members realized they'd been there all along.

"Oooh oops, you guys saw that ?" Julie smiled and ran past their shoulders so she would catch the wild flame hound. "Merryn, come back here !"

Sighs, blushes, and shrugs blossomed in the room, the captain laughing her heart out.

"You should see your faces, guys," she wiped a tear out of her eye, "oh my, your expressions are absolutely priceless!"

More people came in the main room, crew members waking up one by one and coming to get breakfast, not even batting an eye at the scenery. The other paladins had joined them, Shiro never getting an answer to his 'what happened'. Not that any answer could explain the utter insanity that Scarlet Kaida was.

"I'm afraid we haven't been introduced properly," approached the woman with aviator goggles. "My name's Aeris Lopez. Third in command and main strategist."

Now that she was saying it, Lance recalled the woman from some meetings. She'd been standing by the captain's side giving advice and her opinion. Lucy Fair had said Aeris had been a captain before joining her crew and that her opinion was as valuable as anyone else's. Aeris wore a loose white shirt, with Scarlet Kaida's emblem embroidered on its sleeves, as well as brown pants with lots of practical pockets and leather boots. A gun glinted from her belt. 'Former captain, huh?' Lance thought.

"And I'm Lo Polster! Scientist and doctor when needed!" the girl wearing a purple tank top announced, glaring at her lieutenant in the second part of her introduction.

She did look a bit like what Lance associated with the word scientist. Over her purple top, she wore what must have once been a brown cloak- now, it was a collection of patches over patches. She looked like the youngest in the bunch- but then again, Pidge was their genius informatician and she wasn't the oldest of Voltron either.

"The best doc!" called out Lieutenant Teerah behind them, "what would we do without you, Sugar Lo?"

"Surely you'd be dead by now," the girl shot back.

"You're probably right, yeah," she laughed. "Come on paladins, let's go eat! I'm starving."

"Jijii, you're always starving."

"Are you really saying that cap? You of all people?" teased Aeris.

"Lucy you hypocrite! If I had not al-fucking-ways snacks with me to feed everyone, you'd be the most annoying child on board of this ship!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jijii," the captain dodged the accusations like a pro. "Is Merryn alright ?"

"Yeah right, Captain Flan, changing subjects does not change the facts!" Julie rolled her eyes. "And yeah she is, managed to snatch the chocolate from her teeth before she'd swallow it."

"Good!"

"Is that all you say when I literally saved our lovely baby from intoxication?" Julie lamented, taking a dramatic stance.

Beside them, Lo rolled her eyes. Lance guessed if Merryn suffered from intoxication, it was the time for the scientist to become a doctor. And yet, Lance - and he bet everyone else as well - could see how she was fighting hard not to laugh at the situation. Lance could only thank the astonishment the scene brought to him for his own self-control.

Breakfast time went off normally after that. If taking breakfast with pirates and aliens could be considered normal that is, but -

"COSMO! COME BACK HERE!" A blonde woman shouted, her long, blonde ponytail floating behind her shoulders as she chased after a gray-haired boy. One more time, the young age of the crew stroke him. The boy in question couldn't have been older than twenty-one.

The boy let his hand fly in the air. Signing. Mute.

"Nah," translated the female beside him.

Deandra, if Lance recalled correctly, was as sweet as her appearance was barbarous. And next to her four, strong and muscly arms that could easily take down Shiro with a flick of her finger, Lance looked like a toddler. And Pidge at her right? A microscopic pidgey - he internally praised himself for the hilarious comparison. Thank god the little gremlin didn't have any mind reading abilities like the captain, or he'd be screwed. Even so, he still gulped when her suspicious eyes fell on him.

"Who are the morning troublemakers ?" asked Shiro.

"Cosmo is our engineer, and growling after him is Aria. Don't be fooled, those two are best friends, they fight together on the battlefield and practice at breakfast." She laughed at the paladins' faces.

"Come and catch me," Deandra kept translating, smiling fondly at her friends.

"Give back our cookies!" another pissed off woman followed after.

"And this," she trailed off, "would be Zamia. Cosmo doesn't have an inch of self-preservation, really." She paused, and whispered dramatically in Lance's ear, causing shivers to run down his spine, "she'd do anything for her raspberry cookies. Anything."

As to back up Deandra's statement, a dagger and a shuriken-like weapon landed on Cosmo's sleeve, pinning his arm to the nearby wall. With their prey now immobilized, the two women approached him with the dangerous and deadly grace of the panthers Lance remembered from the wild life documentaries he used to watch with his siblings.

At the sight, Cosmo's face lit up in a proud and laughing smile. Not an inch of self-preservation.

Like he'd said, space had indeed affected a lot their level of extraordinary tolerance.

"Next time, I'll bring a helmet", mumbled Hunk as Deandra left with a few other crew members to attend their mission of the day. Apparently, not all of them adapted as quickly, Lance remembered. He offered Hunk a sympathetic look and patted his shoulder.

"Enjoying your meal?" A woman at least 6 feet tall stood next to their table, bright blue hair tied up in a messy bun, an apron in her hand and a warm smile on her face. Seeing the puzzled looks of the three paladins remaining at the table, she continued, "Name's Ash. I'm the cook."

"The cook? You actually cook for that many people?!' Hunk exclaimed. Bewildered and amazed didn't suffice to describe his tone.

"And you must be Hunk, the yellow paladin, right?" the woman asked with the same warm smile. "I've been trying out my hand at some of your recipes. They're so tasty I can't wait to cook them for the gang! And yes, I cook for the whole bunch-" she answered, biting back a laugh at Hunk's dropped jaw- "but each day twenty of us are on cooking duty so it's fun. Besides, I love cooking!"

"It must be quite chaotic if what we've witnessed this morning happens every day," Pidge scoffed.

"'Let's go wild' is their motto, of course, it's chaotic!" she laughed wholeheartedly. "Life on Earth was so boring next to that!"

"You come from our planet?!"

"I've lived there for a while, yes. I traveled all across Europe in fact. But well, one thing lead to another and me and my friends, found ourselves here. My life has been full of crazy adventures since I've joined them. That's the beautiful thing about fate- you never know where it's going to carry you."

"So you're the reason why they know Taylor Swift?" Lance posed the real question.

"Oh, so that's what they were listening to this morning? Lucy and Jijii love Earth music, they enjoy the variety of it. I think one of their life goals after defeating Zarkon is to visit Disneyland and Universal Studios and all the wonders of your planet."

"Nice!" Pidge agreed. Lance nodded- Scarlet Kaida wasn't so impossibly crazy after all.

"You've been here for quite some time now, but Lucy realized she didn't give you a proper tour of her ship. I'd be happy to oblige- if you are interested, of course!

"Woah, so cool!" the paladins simultaneously exclaimed.

"I'll let you finish your breakfast then. Come and fetch me from the kitchen whenever you're ready!"

And this is how Hunk, Pidge, and Lance found themselves half an hour later in the company of Ash and Lo Polster for a visit of Scarlet Kaida's corridors. Calling the ship big was an understatement- it was huge! And as if its size wasn't imposing enough, every nook and cranny was filled to the brim with memories. Photos, lists, reminders- you name it- literally everything was there. The three paladins were amazed at how much it felt like home.

In the kitchen, everything was well organized and clean and each member had their own drawer. Some of them even stood out from the rest thanks to notes plastered all over them as proof of everyone's complicity. 'Family' Lance thought once more. It made his heart ache with the memories of his own family, on the blue planet that was so far away.

Pidge laughed when she read the one on the top cupboard's door, bringing Lance back to the present. The previous 'You can't reach that one, Jijii' had been angrily crossed out and replaced by 'BUT I CAN GRAB A CHAIR YOU BRAINLESS OYSTER!'. Lance read through some of the others, the smile on his face blossoming into a genuine laugh. 'Who needs healthy food anyway?' was his personal favorite. He was starting to really like that captain of theirs.

After that they left the kitchen and went upstairs, leaving the orlop deck for the berth deck where everyone's rooms were located. Since the crew of the Scarlet Kaida was outrageously big, most of them were occupied by two or three crewmates.

"Those chambers are very much like yours, paladins. Everyone's free to furnish them as they want as long as they keep it clean and don't store any dangerous entities inside them for the sake of everyone's sleep and heart health," Ash winked at Lo.

"Yeah, thank you very much", she answered crossing her arms, "I'd appreciate not having to save anyone's ass after their roommates' prank degenerated."

"Hehe," Ash innocently laughed.

"Don't 'hehe' me Ash! Your friends' jokes got the captain on edge for a whole week! She wouldn't sleep because of the worry of it happening again! And I'm not even talking about that time when their experiences turned every furniture piece into cats! Merryn nearly died of terror that day!" Lo puffed.

So the big scary hellhound was afraid of cats? Lance bit back a smile. Even their mascot was full of surprises.

Ash sighed, her blue irises overflooding with fond memories. "Ah I miss them sometimes," she cooed.

"Miss?" Lance worriedly asked. The memories looked dangerously close to turning into tears. "Aren't they here anymore? Did something happen to them?"

"Those dorks fell in love and settled on a planet we visited once. We sometimes get news from them on the secured line."

"They left the crew? Aren't you bound to loyalty or something like that?" Lance asked incredulously. The crew members looked so close he couldn't imagine any of them leaving.

"No," Lo defensively answered, "of course not!" She paused, inhaling deeply. "It's nothing like that," she continued in a calmer voice. "The captain offered us a roof and a family to love and care for. Most of us have lost everything we had because of Zarkon and its yoke, so-" she stopped, weighing her words, "-we heal together," she eventually said. "And we will defeat him and we'll find our path back," she added, looking like she was trying to convince herself, too.

"And you bet Lucy was the happiest godmother when she got the pictures of the twins!" Ash lightened up the mood.

"Duh," Lo laughed, adjusting to Ash's bright tone, "her happiness was brighter than the stars in my head, even hours after she got the news. She was practically glowing!"

"In your head? You've got mind powers too?" Pidge asked, her voice half worried, half curious.

"No," Lo laughed. "But every member of the crew is linked to the captain's mind." Seeing Lance's nose wrinkled in confusion, she explained, "She doesn't pry into our minds or anything. It's just her way to know we're safe, and for us to know she's here at any moment. A reassuring presence."

"It's dormant most of the time, like a bridge between our brains," Ash completed. "Strong emotions such as happiness can be felt at both end of that bridge, though."

"So it's a bit like us when we form Voltron. When we have the impression of feeling the other's emotions." Hunk pointed out.

"How cool is that?!" Pidge exclaimed, the stars in her eyes sparkling.

The infirmary where Lo worked with two other crewmembers was at the end of the berth deck; at the other end was the children's quarter, dedicated to orphans that Lucy had welcomed aboard during those three years of sailing. They were twelve at the moment, aged from three to nine. Lance had to will himself not to tear up at this proof that the war was breaking families apart. Those children weren't older than his niece and nephew back home.

One last proof of them being one big of a messy family hit him as soon as they arrived in front of the wall Lance had noticed the first time they landed on Scarlet Kaida - just after Merryn's sudden appearance had nearly caused him a heart attack.

The wall was decorated with a bit of everything. There were printed pictures from previous adventures, depicting exhausted, but honest smiles and ugly bruises- proof of their success. Notes and reminders coloured the wall, each of them in different handwriting and addressed to different crew members: Lucy remember you can't drink anymore, no more Mulan episodes or Lo, you're the best doctor, but don't be such a child and take your fucking meds too when you're sick and his personal favourite, All of you GDI don't make me use my mom voice on you. Other words in foreign languages he couldn't read, old wanted notices showing blurry pictures of some crew members and the ransom attached to their heads, a list of songs the crew loved to listen to, forgotten groceries list, drawings Lance believed were the work of the younger members of the ship and even Harry Potter quotes patched up the wall in a puzzle of identities and personalities that made up the crew of Scarlet Kaida.

"You weren't kidding when you said you had introduced them to Earth culture!" Lance whistled appreciatively.

"You're just as sane as I am, fits the crew so much though," laughed Hunk.

"I swear Keith lived longer than your leaders on Earth and I'm sure they know more of its culture than he does!" Lance teased.

"Wait, is that Captain Future?" Pidge and Lance asked in unison. "How?!"

"We have our ways," Ash winked. "No but seriously, Lucy is trash for those cartoons of the golden age. Albator, Ulysses 31, The rose of Versailles, The Mysterious Cities of Gold? She's seen them all. Could probably sing all of the theme songs, too."

"You're kidding," Pidge asked more than stated.

"They only know the French versions, so that'd be Capitaine Flam for her and Jijii. French is actually pretty close to their mother tongue so they learned it pretty quick," Ash thoughtfully said.

"Wait," Lance trailed off, "so earlier when she called her Captain Flan it was a direct reference to…"

"To Capitaine Flam, yes," Lo answered with a laugh. "Our leaders are clearly a bunch of dorks. They even made us marathon the series with them," she giggled.

"Crazy dorks," Ash pointed out, "and clearly we all are. Though it's a common knowledge that Lo is saner than any of us," she threw the scientist a meaningful look.

"I agree with that," Lo and Lance simultaneously said, before they both burst into a fit of giggles.

"You said earlier that they wanted to visit Disneyland, you made them watch the Disney movies too?!" Pidge curiously asked.

"Oh yes." Both Lo and Ash eyed each other at that moment and Pidge's instincts knew there was some interesting story behind that exchange of looks.

"Tell us," she said, her glasses glinting with mischief.

"Should we really tell them?" Lo weighed her options.

"Oh come on, Lo! If not us, it'll be someone else. And you don't want anyone stealing our fun away, do you?" Ash intently watched as Lo wavered and eventually nodded. "Jijii the first," Ash whipped her head back to them and started telling the story of how she introduced them to the Disney classics. And the history they had with the movie Mulan.

"We legit turned I'll make a man out of you into our own version and it became our hymn," Lo tried to pretend she was annoyed, but she couldn't hide the hint of a smile, "It also explains the nickname we gave our flag and why sometimes you'll hear Aria and others call our captain Mushu girl. That girl's trash for dragons," she rolled her eyes as if in disappointment, but Lance could tell she found it endearing.

"And that's not even the best part yet! Lo, they need to know the most interesting part!" Ash interrupted with an excited squeal. She breathed in, as if sucking in all the air in the room, before saying, "Once, Jijii got our captain drunk and Cosmo had to stop her from cutting off her braid like Mulan. Since then, she does not touch alcohol anymore."

The five of them burst into laughter at that and they lost it for many ticks, unable to stop the tears forming in the corners of their eyes from running down their cheeks. Once they had got their composure back –not such an easy task–, the two women kept on describing what was on the 'memory wall'.

This is how they learned that the slightly burned part of the wall was the aftermath of a cold puppy-Merryn had once caught; Jijii not managing to take control of the fireball that Merryn had created with her sneeze resulted in quite some damage for the ship. Lance made a mental note of never getting on Merryn's bad side.

They also learned of Lamo, an animal the crew had declared their second mascot after they rescued him (the creature really looked like a lama and that made Lance smiled at the punny name). He'd lost his way and Lucy and Jijii had taken upon themselves the task to bring him back to his pack.

"They'd shouted Screw the mission! when Aeris had reminded them they were actually doing something else in the first place," Ash remembered. "That day was hilarious, yet it ended with a broken-hearted Merryn when she was forced to part ways with her new friend at the end of the day."

Hunk loved that story. It was this that he found strange, out of all the nonsensical stories the two women had told them in a few hours. Lance couldn't understand his friend sometimes- And after all, they had a freaking cow grazing inside the Castle, but a llama on a pirate ship baffled him. Space messed with their logic, that was the only thing Lance was still sure of.

They crossed Loana's and Cosmo's laboratory before arriving at the end of the tour, the training room. There, Shiro and Keith were challenging the captain. She had suggested practice earlier, not wanting their first team up moment to be on a shady battlefield.

Lucy - she'd asked them to remove the title - reminded Shiro of Keith somehow, with her petite silhouette and her swift moves: dodging and rolling on the floor, escaping most of his attacks with brio.

But just like Keith, her hair would be her downfall. Shiro smiled, sweeping the sweat from his forehead. He lunged forward to the opening he'd seen and struck.

But his hand met oblivion.

She had disappeared into thin air.

"Wha-"

An arm looped around his neck and her breath tickled his throat. "Hehe, thought it would be that easy, Black?"

"How?! You were just here!" Shiro mumbled, confused.

"She never was, Shiro. She used her powers on you and created an illusion of herself into your mind."

"Hehe, guilty as charged... Smart aren't you Red?" she smiled, "I like that!"

Keith scoffed and Shiro used his given time to regain his composure. He knew she was, much more like Lance, a defensive type on battlefield, preferring long-range weapons to hand to hand combat. He had the advantage with his past as the Galra's Champion and teasing Keith had made her loosen her grip on his neck.

In a fast movement, he took her wrist and she flew over his right shoulder. Her breath was knocked out of her lungs for a few ticks, her wide eyes acknowledging his worth. She had not seen that one coming.

He locked her knees between his own and kept her from moving. For a tick, he swore he saw her face shift and lost focus. Her eyes looked empty, as she was drifting far away. Her body was as tense as when a memory of his past came haunting him.

"Are you gonna move your ass or what Lucy? What are you waiting for to kick his ass?! On real ground you'd be dead by now! What the hell do you think you're doing?! Win this fucking match and beat that grinning black paladin out of the ring! Shows him who's boss!"

At her lieutenant's words, Lucy's eyes came back into focus and she grinned wickedly. An elbow kick in his face, another punch into his chest and she was back on her feet, her disheveled braid falling on her back. Stamina flooding out of her.

The session ran for another hour before they had to stop. Both Aeris and Allura reminding them they had to keep energy for today's fights, plus a meeting was to happen in less than an hour. Just enough for them to attend their wounds into the healing pods and take a sorely needed shower. Jijii's words.

/

"We need an actual plan!" Kolivan repeated coldly.

Hunk could say the restless days had their toll on the Blade leader, too. His calm and usually strict attitude was crumbling under the pressure the mission placed on his shoulders. Hunk would have never guessed the man had a cranky side to him, and the eye bags under his eyes looked unnatural. Sadly, the coffee he and Lance had managed to come up with wasn't working its magic anymore and often made the things worse. Like today.

"But we have a plan!"

"One actually more developed than just 'We get in. We beat Zarkon's ass. We get out. And then have fun for the rest of the years', Lucy!" he growled. Hunk made a mental note of trying to blend some dark tea.

"Oh, come on, Kol!" Lucy threw her arms in the air, sighing. "I don't get why you're getting all worked up on the tiny details!"

"Because that is pretty much the idea," Lieutenant Teerah added, supporting her captain and friend's vision. "Getting in and out, alive preferably, and having beaten Mr. Evil Emperor's ass in the meantime!"

"Easier said than done, though," finished Aeris, already deep in her thoughts. If Hunk had to guess, strategic designs were being played behind her unreadable expression. She was mechanically scrutinizing the dog-eared and crumpled notes one more time.

"You know we can't take this battle lightly! We need to plan it carefully," Kolivan told Lucy.

"Plans always fail Kol! And we, always, need to figure out something else once we're in! We're wasting precious time here and it's been weeks! People are dying and here we are, arguing over that!" She pointed at the disorganized table angrily. Her eyes were burning with a fire Hunk hadn't seen before. Frustration.

Indeed, most of the days went by without them noticing it. The Blade and the representatives of the Coalition were discussing - arguing, mostly - strategies they could use to defeat the Galra Empire. Olkari, Balmerans and even royals such as Queen Luxia wracked their brains in the small conference hall.

Hunk felt like he was going to explode. He was on edge and tired of wasting time now they finally had all the cards in hands. Now, that everyone was willing to fight. Sometimes, he couldn't help but agree with Lucy and Keith- they needed to take action.

And damn, if he was boiling inside, what about the others? Even if they were cool-headed - some more than the others - they were always willing to get onto the battlefield. With or without a plan. Even Pidge was starting to lose her temper.

Living 24/7 in a ship always so full of life and people when they were all used to the coolness and soothing silence of the Castle didn't help. Yesterday, Keith had stormed out of the room, saying he couldn't sit down another minute, losing his time when he could be training and doing something useful. His thoughts on the 'we need a master plan' matter, were mirroring Lucy's. The only difference between them was that, while she enjoyed drama entrances, the red paladin was all about drama exits.

But this time, the meeting had not even gone for twenty minutes that the alert went off, blazing its red lights in the ship's corridors. It wasn't like a movie scene, Hunk sadly thought, and neither Zarkon nor time did stop while they were arguing in that suffocating room


	3. Running for the hills

At the sound, Merryn, who'd been napping at the foot of the table, raised immediately to the captain's side in a defensive stance.

"Hazel! What is it?" Lucy asked through the com, her chair scratching the ground as she stood.

"It's Deandra," the navigator answered almost immediately, "they're under attack! Their cover didn't work as well as planned and security was doubled at the prison yesterday apparently! They have no way out, what are your orders?"

"Gather everyone on the deck! We're going!" Lucy had not even finished her sentence that they were all rushing to their respective rooms and packing up everything necessary. A minute later everyone was on the upper deck and listening to the captain's orders.

"Deandra's unit needs backup," she announced to the crowd standing in front of her. "We need to hurry to the prison where they were sent this morning for an 'infiltration and rescue' mission. It is more than likely that the Galra sentries have surrounded them, as well as the prisoners they managed to free. We'll need to break through their defences, find Deandra's unit and bring them home. We won't leave them behind."

"I'll need Aeris' unit to stay aboard to provide the aerial support we'll need. Hazel and Katsa you stay there too, I'll need you to be ready to wormhole the ship away at any moment. Lo, Elric, Harry, you'll prepare all the necessary for the wounded when we'll come back. Makara and Stergann I'll trust you to take care of the youngsters, to keep them safe and reassure them."

Hunk watched in awe as the captain spat instruction after instruction. Building up a plan even faster than Shiro.

"The battle is already going down and we'll come in the middle of the mess it sure is," she mercilessly told her crew. "But we will work through it just like we always did, using the strategies and techniques that have already proved to be efficient."

The paladins stood among the ranks, ready to leave at any moment. Pidge was amazed at the shift of attitude of the captain, just as much as Hunk was. In a second she was all the leader the crew had claimed her to be and more. Her age made no difference, and Pidge felt the same energy and strength fill her veins as when Shiro gave them a before battle pep talk. The hair on her neck raised with the raw emotion emanating from Scarlet Kaida's captain.

"Kolivan and the members of the Blade present on board already left to provide immediate backup and the paladins of Voltron will be joining us," she encouraged her team. "As always, I'm not forcing anyone to join me on the battlefield. I won't deny that this is going to be hard, and we won't come out unscathed. But, to everyone who will join me nonetheless, off to the cruisers! We're leaving !"

A cheer erupted on the deck and everyone rushed towards the cruisers simultaneously.

"Aye, aye captain !" translated Keith's intergalactic translator on his helmet's screen. Not that the cheer that pierced through everyone's souls and ripped at their core needed any translation. They were all together in this-soul and body. They were acting as one.

"Let's go wild, darlings" the lieutenant smirked, adjusting the fingerless gloves on her hands. Her smirk was a strange combination of wicked and dead-serious, the way it sent shivers down your spine. The glint of her sword suddenly became ferocious.

At first, they looked like an unprepared featherbrained crowd but Keith knew better and saw the shift in their positions, the gazes hardening and focusing on the task at hand.

They were clear-sighted.

Ash grasped tightly the gleaming spear in her hand.

They were focused.

Aria checked the smooth movement of her daggers coming in and out of their hidden sheaths.

They were trained.

Cosmo hardened his grip on his swords.

They were ready.

Julie played with the flames in her palm, fire creatures coming to life and levitating above their heads. Her other hand, steady on the pommel of her ebony sword.

They were going to win.

Lucy tightened her ponytail, sharpening her mind, a soothing hand on Merryn's head. Sensing everyone's energy, tension, and resolution, she closed her eyes and inhaled. One deep breath in, one deep breath out, eyes closed. She opened her eyes again and started talking, pinpointing each and every one of the members with the fire burning behind her pupils.

"Remember, stay focused on the mission. Slaying the Galra off this base is not our aim. Bringing back our friends is," she paused, letting the words sink in. "The prison isn't big enough for me to lose contact with any of you, but in order to keep us invisible for as long and as efficiently as possible I'll need you to stay close. For precaution measures, I won't be holding the trick longer than entering the prison. Once we're in, we split into two groups. Jijii you will take the east wing with your men and we'll cover the west," she decided, earning a nod from her first lieutenant.

As soon as the doors were opened, the three hundred and four crewmembers on board would disgorge onto the land.

But no one ever really was ready for a battle. A battlefield never really was what one would expect. Not what they wanted.

Anything could happen.

Everything could go wrong.

Shiro knew that better than anyone. He couldn't help the shiver in surprise when he saw his reflection in the mirror slowly fading away. So that's what they were in for, uh? Lucy looked through them, checking if her illusion was working well.

Right on cue, the doors opened.

Just as planned, they landed near the prison base, far enough for its defense system not to locate them. Kolivan and his soldiers were already there, as were Deandra and the others were, fighting for their lives with all they'd got. And yet no sound came out of the prison, everything seemed quiet and peaceful. Nature was as oblivious as ever a silent witness to the events of the world.

The flock advanced in a deadly quiet march, a girl named Farrah backing up the captain's illusion by nullifying the sound they made.

As soon as they had breached the building's defenses, the blazing sound of the sirens blasted through their eardrums. And so did the grunt of men and the glinting sound of blades.

The crew split into different units, covering more ground.

Fire. Duck. Cover. Strike. Shield. Knock once more. Pidge was afraid of how natural it felt like now, almost like second nature. Just like Lance's morning care was his own routine.

Fire. Duck. Cover. Strike. The Galra were everywhere and just like Deandra had said earlier over the com, there were much more soldiers than there should have been. Two when only one should have been guarding, four when only two should have been walking the corridors. Something must have happened between this morning and the last time they had collected the intel.

Last night.

Missions only hanged by a thread.

Fire. Duck. Cover. Strike. Most of the cells they crossed were opened - blasted - and empty. Deandra's unit's doing- hopefully. Even after rushing through the west wing, almost reaching its end, they had not crossed paths with Deandra and her men.

Shiro cursed under his breath. That could only mean one thing: They had been surrounded in the common parts of the two buildings, where it would be the hardest to find a way out or break through their defenses. It would be easy to enter, sure, but then more Galra troops would come for backup and they'd be surrounded. Outnumbered. With low prospects of getting out unscathed- if alive at all.

That or…

"They're not dead, Black," Lucy gasped out, knocking off another Galra to the ground. "I can still feel them."

Pidge wiped out a sentry that was targeting Lucy. Lance shoot another two down.

"We're getting closer," she added, turning left only to confirm Shiro's train of thoughts. Deandra's unit had been cornered somewhere.

Fire. Duck. Cover. Strike. A never-ending dance.

"Luce!" Jijii's unit.

"We've wiped out every soldier who was standing in the east wing but we haven't seen any prisoners, nor Deandra. Every cell was opened."

"Same for us," said Lucy, mindlessly stroking Merryn's head, all of her thoughts monopolized by the news. "Cosmo pointed out that part of the cells has not been broken in the same way."

"Meaning that some of the prisoners' freedom isn't our doing. Meaning that people must have attacked the prison last night and that's surely why security has been increased," completed Aeris through the com, her voice growing more and more worried as she spoke.

"And our only chance to know who did it is stealing the camera's data," stated the Lieutenant.

"Hunk and I would be able to do so," Pidge offered.

"Fine. Take twenty of my men," Lucy agreed. "The surveillance room should be just above us. With us down there and the cells empty, you shouldn't face much resistance. As for us, we'll keep going and hurry to rescue Deandra and the others. As soon as you're done, you go back to the cruisers and get them ready for departure. You don't follow after us," she ordered.

"Got it, Cap."

And with that, the group split once more. A few seconds later, the three remnant paladins and the rest of the crew were breaking through the last floor's doors.

Fire. Duck. Cover. Strike. Shield. Knock once more. There were even more Galra soldiers here. They were getting close, undoubtedly.

They weren't the only one fighting the Galra soldiers, though, and judging by their thin arms and tired eyes, there was no mistake possible: The others were the prisoners Deandra's unit had freed.

"Remember the Galra are not our aim, but the prisoners! Deandra and the others must not be far away. We'll need a way out; Aeris I'll leave that to you!"

"On it," the woman answered through the com.

Lance didn't know what she meant, given that Aeris was still on the ship, but the captain seemed to be sure of what she was doing, so he let it go. He'd seen what she was capable of once she got serious. At his left, Merryn jumped on another enemy and the robot's body dislocated, crushed between her fangs. Three others soldiers fell to the ground as a result of his blue bayard.

Aeris' voice echoed once more through the com. Whatever they had planned was ready. Lance's gut twisted upon hearing the captain's voice- should he really not have been worried at all?

"Cosmo! Ash! Jijii! Aria! Shield!" shouted the captain.

On her order, the four crew members threw something into the air and a sudden particle barrier spread into the air. A few ticks after, the wall on their right exploded.

"And… poof," smirked the lieutenant, taking advantage of the explosion to use her fire skills.

"Poof indeed." Lucy smiled back, spotting the members of Deandra's unit at the other end. "Nice job, Aeris!" she congratulated.

/

Pidge smashed her fingers against the keyboard, hacking the system and stealing the camera files as fast as she could. Hunk scrutinized the camera screens, looking for Deandra.

"Got the files," she cheered to her screen, subconsciously high fiving Hunk in the process

"And here is Deandra!" Hunk pointed at the top left screen where the woman in question, surely out of ammo, was fighting with everything she had left. "Crap! More Galra are after her-

An explosion cut him short, making even the walls tremble from the impact. "What was that?!" Hunk called, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer

"That much for discretion…" A crew member sighed desperately beside him.

"This is our cue! We need to leave and get ready!" hurried another one before transmitting the news to their captain.

/

"Sharpshooter! With me!"

Lance lifted his head up in the air once more, only to see Lucy running towards the walls. Stairs appeared and she climbed them two at a time, firing from her new spot, protecting the exit Aeris had just created.

Above them, just like Hunk had told them through the com, Deandra appeared on the footbridge.

"Long time no see, Cap," she yelled, slamming another Galra to the ground, and then another one off the railing.

Just before a clicking sound resonated in her ears.

"Not so fast," a voice trailed behind her.

Dread and realization suddenly filled her every nerve. She didn't feel any pain.

She died before her knees hit the ground.

"ANDRY!" The heart-wrenching cry ripped her lungs apart, crawling its way out of the Captain's mouth.

The sudden growls of anger and grief, coming from every mind around her overwhelmed Lucy's train of thoughts. Air was knocked out of her lungs.

She needed to breathe. Needed to think. Now.

Most of the prisoners, helped by the crew, had already escaped through the breach.

But Deandra was dead. Mission failed.

Alan's warning from earlier displayed in her head once more as she gritted her teeth. 'More Galra are coming, Cap.'

Deandra's corpse crashed to the ground with a loud thud.

Game Over. Again.

"Retreat! WE'RE LEAVING! NOW!" She yelled over the cries of her crew in her head. Over the sound of Deandra's dead body hitting the ground. Over the guilt. Over the tears.

Shiro whipped his head around, finally realizing what happened. Next to him, Aria and Cosmo dashed forward. But instead of running to Deandra like he expected them to, they rushed to the walls, to the stairs Lucy created earlier.

Revenge. Revenge. Revenge. Revenge!

"COSMO! ARIA! NO!" Lucy screamed at them, their thoughts flooding through her head. "DON'T!" But they were not listening anymore. Lucy knew that better than anyone.

"Merryn!" Lucy whistled and jumped from her spot. The hellhound heard the call of her master and lifted her head, immediately launching in a run towards her, size increasing drastically. Lucy landed on her back, her weapons shifting in her hands. "Jijii, get everyone out! Now." She fought herself from quivering.

A fire blast erupted in the room, its creator leading the way out.

Lucy grasped Merryn's black hairs tightly in her hand, trying to stop her trembling. "Hurry Merryn, hurry!"

They weren't far, they couldn't be. Lucy prayed she could catch them before the Galra troops did. Aria's ponytail appeared in visual range and she fired her arrows one by one. Merryn's fireball hit her target, a grey cloud of smoke rising into the air between them. Despite the smoke clouding her view, Lucy knew they were there. She caught up with them.

"Cosmo! Aria! We need to leave," she yelled at them. Three other daggers found their aims, ignoring the captain's orders.

Revengeful thoughts still echoed in her two friends' mind. She has no other choice. Another fireball escaped Merryn's throat. She grasped the two by their collars and Merryn teleported, leaving no trace behind, save for another swirl of shadows.

As much as she wanted her to, Lucy knows Merryn isn't going to be able to keep up the rhythm for much longer. Teleporting used a lot of her energy and even more when she took others with her. As such, she jumps off her back, running behind her. "Go on girl! Bring them to Jijii!"

Lucy cast wheels under her shoes and dashed forward, throwing another bomb behind her.

/

"Like hell, I'm leaving her behind too!" Jijii yelled, patting the head of a breathless Merryn. The hellhound had teleported once more into the other ship so Cosmo and Aria would leave with the first cruiser and the other wounded. "She'll be here any second, give her another tick!"

"Jijii if we wait too much-" Shiro tried arguing. He hated leaving people behind as much as her- but they couldn't risk losing all the people embarked on the second ship. Lucy was strong enough to make it by herself.

"TEN TICKS FOR GOD SAKE," the Lieutenant argued back. She was beyond angry- she was emotionally unstable. Hurt. Ripped apart.

"Will you never stop shouting Jijii? My ears hurt," winced a familiar voice in the lieutenant's back.

"Lucy!" a relieved yelp tore through her throat.

The crew helped their captain onboard and they took off right away.

/

Barely arrived, Lucy rushed to the infirmary bay of her ship. Inside, Lo, Elric, and Harry were already attending to the wounded.

She went straight to the end of the room.

"You!" she pointed at Aria, "and you!" now Cosmo was the aim of her fury, "don't you ever dare to do that again."

"But-"

"There is no 'But' with me Aria Celeste!" The captain's voice cuts her short. Fire burning in her eyes. "I am your captain and I told you both not to go after them!" she argued.

"He killed Deandra," seethed Aria, "he executed her! He stabbed her from behind- like a coward. How could you not expect us to go after the bastard?!" she barked back, ignoring the jolts of pain that went through her wounds as she yelled.

"She was our friend!" Cosmo signed with his bandaged hands.

"I know he did! But you both could have died there, and you can thank the hell out of Merryn for saving your asses!" Lucy's voice began to raise. "I told you not to go, ordered you not to follow! Aeris knew it was a trap, I knew there was an ambush, you knew too! And yet, you disobeyed my command!" Her words died out towards the end, and she fought back the nasty thought of what could have happened.

Cosmo clenched his teeth, turning his gaze away, but Aria held her glare. Her irises were as sharp as her daggers.

Lucy felt Lo's hand on her forearm.

"Please, calm down," Loana thought as soothingly as possible, hoping her captain would hear her words. "Breathe."

But there was no need for her soothing thoughts. Lucy wasn't shouting anymore. Her words came as a hammer blow.

"War brings casualties, Aria, we all know that. "And better by far losing one member of my crew than three of them."

Lucy got out of the infirmary without another glance.

Lo didn't need mind reading to know what had been hidden behind her calm, cold and distant tone. She'd seen the falter in her eye, the twitch in her clenched fist.

Lucy was shattering inside.

"Can someone explain to me what just happened?" Jijii asked, putting down the towels, bandages, and medicines Lo had asked her to retrieve. "Tell me that what I think happened didn't, in fact, happen."

Aria didn't answer, nor did Lo or Cosmo, but their tense bodies and glossy eyes were enough of an answer to her.

Damn it guys. She lost a friend too! She wanted to shout at them, "how could you expect her to be so hunky-dory of letting you put your lives, so carelessly, in danger?! It won't bring her back!

She swallowed down her scolding speech, knowing it'd only be pouring oil on fire. It wasn't the time for them to hear those words. Not yet. A sigh still escaped her lips and she went after Lucy, hoping to catch up with her.

But when she did, the only thing she found was the locked door of her cabin.

/

Another loss to take in.

Another loss she couldn't grieve.

She was the captain.

She had to be strong.

/

Aria's last thought haunted her dreams that night.

"Don't you have a heart?!"

/

Eurwyn. Annabell. Jared. Zarifa. Jo. Eliz. Yona. Malden. Leo. Hagan. Deandra.

A leader who needs to remind his subordinates he's the leader isn't a good leader.

/

"Luce?" Deandra kneeled in front of her, curiosity in her tone, confusion on her face, "what are you doing?"

"I'm waiting," Lucy whined.

"Waiting? Waiting for what?" More confusion.

"Door's locked. Won't open." She whined again, her voice drowsy.

"Locked? But we don't-" Deandra paused, eyeing the door and then turning to Lucy once more, a fond smile tugging at her lips. "Luce, did you forget again that this door is to be pulled and not pushed?"

"Uh?" Lucy's brain was foggy with sleep, what was Deandra talking about? She wanted to sleep. She wanted to dive once more into her pillows, to surround herself with her plushies, to roll herself once more into her fluffy blankets, feel their warmth…

Watching fondly over her captain and her heavy tired eyes, Deandra took the doorknob and opened wide the door, "Here you are, Luce!"

"Deandra, my hero!" And with that, she jumped to the woman's neck.

"Let's get you your morning cup, Cap." Deandra chuckled. She secured Lucy in her arms and went directly to the kitchen where Ash was already humming. "Even after all those years, you'll never be a morning bird," she whispered fondly, patting her head.

/

Don't you have a heart?!

/

Eurwyn. Annabell. Jared. Zarifa. Jo. Eliz. Yona. Malden. Leo. Hagan.

Deandra.

The added name would be burnt into her mind forever.


	4. Farewell

Keith woke up to the sound of the cool breeze and soothing waves. He dressed up and went straight to the kitchen. As they were now living on the ship, he and the others were part of the chores chart, too. This morning it was cooking.

Keith didn't mind. He liked working in the kitchen - and not only because there were lots of knives everywhere like Lance believed. At least he was doing something. Something concrete.

The corridors were empty except for him and Merryn, who had just popped up in front of him.

"Morning Padfoot!" The hound who usually was the size of a pony was no bigger than a German Shepherd this morning. Keith didn't know if it was the consequence of using up all that energy the day before or if she was sad and grieving in her own way. Maybe a little bit of both…

She whined beside him and he patted her head. She followed him until he reached the kitchen. As if keeping watch. Protecting. Not wanting anything to happen to anyone anymore.

"I'm okay," he whispered to her, "I'm okay…" Her big dark eyes went back to his face at the sound of his voice. She disappeared in her usual swirl of shadows and with her, a small part of Keith's heart crumbled away.

Just like he had expected, the atmosphere was heavy in the kitchen. Eyes were red, movements sloppy and careless, as if tuned to the same sad tune. Hazel removed a knife from the hands of a young boy and took him in her arms. Her apron became wet with his tears.

"It's okay to cry darling, it's okay Sam," she kept patting his head and stroking his hair softly.

Ash saw Keith and eyed the pile of fruit for breakfast. Tying up his hair, he started peeling them and Lance, who had arrived a few minutes later, chopped them silently next to him.

The sobs of the child stopped and only the chopping of the knives could be heard above the sound of the crashing waves.

/

Slowly, the Scarlet Kaida woke up and the crew arrived in the main room and sat at the tables. Eating in silence while the sound of the waves could still be heard in the distance felt so strange on this usually lively ship.

Keith looked at their faces, most of them covered by messy bangs that concealed red eyes and sleepless features. Those who couldn't use their hair to hide the sorrow kept their eyes down, were staring into their empty bowls. Others were handling the situations better, but Keith knew it was but a mask glued to their faces. A dam holding all the emotions that poured like rain in a barrel. Trying to hold on in front of the others.

The realisation that Deandra had been a friend to all of them hit Keith once again, a punch well delivered to his guts. They really were a big family. Blood, race, age, didn't matter. Each of them knew the others and she had been a friend, a sister, a mentor, a confidant… And she wasn't there anymore. They had not been able to save her.

The blow was hard to take in.

But they were at war and they had to keep moving forward. Using their grief as energy, as a reason to keep going.

Lucy entered the room and all the gazes fell on her. In moments like this, the strength of a leader was tested. As much as she wanted to hold them like the sister and family she was to them, she was also their captain. The one who gave the orders. The anchor keeping them grounded.

Lucy didn't stay long- just enough to announce that the ceremony would take place on the first deck, as soon as they were all ready. She grabbed an apple on a nearby table and left the room, Merryn in her trail.

/

"Yesterday, Scarlet Kaida lost another member." Keith shivered at the word another. "Deandra died fighting for her freedom. Our freedom. She was cowardly executed, but today is not a day for revenge and bloodlust. Today, we stand together, united as one, to bid one last farewell to our friend."

The captain was standing on an estrade, her lieutenant at her side. Lucy was wearing the same outfit as on their first encounter. Her blue feathered hat clutched between pale fingers, hair loose, she stood tall in front of her crew.

"Deandra was a force to be reckoned with and her smile and laughter used to brighten our days, even in the saddest moments. This is why I'm sure she wouldn't want us to keep crying. She'd want us to smile and dry our tears because that nine feet tall gorgeous woman wasn't one to handle other's emotions quite well."

The crew chuckled at the statement. Grief shone in their eyes and memories rolled down their cheeks, falling on the deck quietly, rhythmically, without stopping."Deandra joined our ranks a few years ago, when Scarlet Kaida was still just a bunch of lost souls, looking for their paths. Looking for life. Looking for light. Just like every one of you, she was family to me. I couldn't keep my vow to her, but I will keep fighting. I will stand tall. I will not let my guard falter. Because that would be failing her and betraying her memory. Deandra died. Our job is not to let this be for nothing."

"Aye, aye!"

One by one, some crew members stepped on the estrade beside Lucy and started telling stories- memories they shared with Deandra, anecdotes and crappy jokes she had once told. Sometimes it would last for a couple of minutes, sometimes less, but they all listened. It was a moment of remembrance, a break they needed to catch their breath and stand back on their feet. Easing the pain. Even though it wouldn't go away as easily, talking about her and feeling the presence of the others at their side calmed down the sobs and smiles were back on some faces. Smiles soaked in tears but smiles nonetheless.

The last person to step on the estrade was the little boy Keith had seen in the morning. The young blonde boy no longer had disheveled hair and red eyes. Holding tight a small plushie between his fingers, he spoke excitedly to the crowd, a smile blooming on his lips.

"Deandra was super cool. When I first saw her I thought she was super scary. She was tall and big and purple and she had four arms!But then she took care of us and she made dumb jokes to make us smile, and she was super fun. And the coolest thing was when she let us hang by her arms and we raced Merryn around the corridors! Andry was super cool and super strong but Merryn always won!"

Said hound barked at her name. She appeared at Sam's left side, asking for a hug he granted her gladly.

The captain looked fondly at the pair and waited for Sam to join the other children before speaking again. Just as she did, the melody started to change. Keith immediately recognized the famous track.

"Deandra loved Ravel's Bolero. She once told me that the reason why she loved it so much was the fact that it reminded her of Scarlet Kaida. She saw each instrument as a member of the crew. Unique, but coming together to create the most beautiful and deadly music in the end."

Indeed, the flute started alone, but then the clarinet joined in and so did all the other instruments. One by one. Drums never stop beating in the background.

The crew listened quietly to the notes, some closing their eyes, some looking one last time at the picture of Deandra that had been hanged on the wall, above the estrade. In it, the woman looked younger and the scar on her left eyebrow was missing. She was smiling broadly at the camera, sunshine hitting her purple skin and crimson hair.

Keith could tell it was an enlargement of a group picture as he glimpsed an arm resting on her shoulder. Probably Aria, Keith thought, recalling what Hazel had told him in the kitchen. "Aria, Cosmo, and Deandra were the closest of friends. You couldn't see one without the others…"

The ceremony didn't last long after that. At the last notes, the crew started to disperse slowly, quietly honouring the last beats of the drum.

/

Lucy sat in front of the memory wall. More and more notes, flowers and trinkets had been pinned next to Deandra's smiling face. A thin smile cracked through her mask and she felt the tears welling in her eyes.

"Lucy, can we talk to you?"

She got up in a hurry, her long blue coat falling back behind her knees. "Aria! Cosmo! What is it?"

"We-" Aria stumbled upon her words. Shy. Aria was never shy. "We wanted to apologize for our attitude yesterday, Cap."

"Apologize?" Lucy looked at them and their fidgeting stance. "But there's nothing to apologize for."

"There is! I was a total jerk and wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry for my words," Aria said, lacing her fingers together.

"Aria," the captain spoke firmly. "What happened yesterday was a completely normal reaction for you to have. You had just lost your best friend and you were angry at me. I understand."

Lucy fished into her pocket and placed a small object in Aria's hands.

A bracelet. Deandra's.

"The details are too sharp for it to be one of your creations," Aria said bewildered.

"Where did you get it," Cosmo signed worriedly.

"I wanted you to have it. To have something to hold onto… I know how you felt back there. How you still do." Her voice came down to a whisper, "I just hope that it will help ease some of the pain away."

"It's easier when people suffer, right?" Aria spoke softly.

"Yes. I'm sorry I can't control it. Even if I try, everyone's emotions are just too strong, I'm sorry."

"We know." Aria closed her fingers softly on her friend's pearls. "But you haven't answered Cosmo's question."

"I went to retrieve it. I parted ways with Merryn and backtracked."

"You did what?!" Aria screeched and Cosmo signed at the same time.

"I know, quite the hypocrite aren't I?" Lucy tried raising a smile.

"But Luce!"

"You could have been killed!" Cosmo was shocked at her words.

"Or worse!" Aria argued back.

"I know." She extended her hands, cupping their faces. Their gaze softened at the soothing gesture. "I couldn't stand the grief and hurt in your hearts. I had to do something."

"Don't do that again. Ever."

"I will not apologize for my actions if they bring you comfort. And look! I'm perfectly fine! Except for that bruise blossoming at the end of my back. Slipped on one of Merryn's toys on the stairs this morning."

"Silly Mushu girl," Aria chuckled.

"Let's keep that a secret between us, right? Jijii will kill me if she learns what I did."

"We had enough with one funeral for the day Cap. I'll keep my mouth shut."

/

Back in her room, Lucy was brushing Merryn's fur when an incoming call materialized on her desk's screen.

Please let this not be another attack! She dreaded.

Getting up from her spot on the carpet, she went straight to her desk and put her hand on the device. At the contact with her fingerprints, the system unlocked and Kolivan's serious face appeared in the middle of the screen.

"Kol? I didn't know there was a call planned."

"There wasn't."

"What kind of emergency is it then?" Her voice betrayed worry.

"It is not an emergency."

"Phew!" She paused, regaining back her composure. "But if it is not… What else is worth a call on the secured line?"

"We've settled the date for the attack. The Coalition will join its effort in three weeks from now."

"Finally! Took you all long enough to decide! Are the preparations the same as we planned last time we met Luxia?"

"Yes, they are."

"Good."

There was an awkward break as Kolivan pressed his lips into a thin line and opened his mouth to say something, but then close it again.

"My condolences, Lucy." Kolivan eventually said before ending the call.

Lucy leaned against the wall.

Finally.

The day she had been waiting for years was now finally coming.

Three weeks.

It didn't leave much time to get everything done, but in three weeks everything was going to be different. Either they won and defeated the last sympathizers of the Empire or…

Or they would be the ones being defeated.

Lucy didn't let her mind wander that way.

They were going to win. There was no other way around it.

She would strive and make it a reality. No matter what it'd cost.

"No more broken vows," she swore to herself, Merryn as her only witness.


	5. Last Party

Since her announcement that the big final battle would take place in three weeks the mood aboard Scarlet Kaida had changed drastically. Lucy could see the shift in everyone's spirits.

Yes, they were still grieving Deandra - they forever will - but the ceremony and this important news were the things they all had needed to move on, to get back on tracks.

Everyone seemed more focus.

She had meant for this day to be a day off for her crew, they needed rest and time to start the healing process. Even if they called themselves pirates, the ruthless aspect of the job had never been one of Scarlet Kaida's personality. They had teased and titillated the Empire more than once for sure, but most of them didn't share the same bloody path and had not seen death so close. And for the one who did, she knew well how much it could bring some unwanted and repressed memories out. Much like an open wound.

But Lucy should have known better, her protégés were not ones to back down and rest when the thing they had waited for so long, was finally coming.

She was proud to be their captain.

Therefore, they had dived into the getting ready for D-Day schedule. Training had intensified, missions to retrieve weapons, ammo, and such, had been dispatched and she had given her orders to retrieve everything to fill the infirmary's cupboards. Cosmo's stock was to be replenished soon too and as for the children, they were thrilled to go back to the space mall with Stergann and Makara.

"We don't win the war with big muscles and an empty stomach, Sammy," she said, poking the young boy's nose, "but with a well-rested brain and nutrients in your veins."

"Does that mean we buy chocolate and pie?"

"Exactly," she answered with her proud grin. "Now off you go Scarlet Boy, you've got a mission to fulfill!"

"Aye, aye Captain!" he answered proudly, an understanding grin on his face.

He ran to catch up with his friends and her smile widened at his behavior. "This boy I swear…"

"You raised him well," Jijii laughed, looping her arm on Lucy's shoulders.

"Right? He's one of my precious achievement! Now let's go we've got some lions to see!"

Hazel looked from the window of the laboratory room and watched as Jijii and Lucy followed after the paladins. They had received a call this morning from members of the Coalition, the Olkari if she remembered right, that their lions and ships were ready. Red Mustache and Pretty Space Princess had proposed to Lucy and Jijii to join them. And they had accepted right away, excited to finally see Voltron with their own eyes.

The two of them disappeared in the cruiser on the main deck, Merryn still in their tracks. She'd been glued to them since Deandra's death. Merryn was usually all the time with their leaders, they were basically her moms, but it broke her heart to see Merryn that way. She wasn't being her true self. She was edgy, sad, and grieving.

Much like everyone else…

Another exasperated sigh escaped from Loana beside her. Cosmo pinched the bridge of his nose. He too was starting to lose his cool.

"I don't get it," grumbled Loana. "Why isn't working!"

The three of them had been working on the data Pidge and Hunk had stolen at the prison - or rather the lack of it. For hours now the strong computers and screens were beeping and analyzing but none of them had ended with positive results for them. None of the screens displayed the green light they were all waiting for. It was driving them mad.

Steve, her pet from her home planet, climbed on her back and she patted his brown striped fur. The small animal nuzzled his snout in her neck. She kept patting his head, a soothing process to put order in her own thoughts.

"How could someone delete it?"

"The data should be here. There's always something left. We can always get something back." Cosmo's hands, still bandaged, moved into the air. Exasperation and incomprehension showing on his face.

"The only person who could delete it so perfectly would be a Galra soldier. And one on top of the hierarchy. They are the only one with the authority." Lo added, playing annoyingly with one her pen.

"But why would they do that? Why delete a whole day from their data? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Maybe they don't want their superiors to know? Maybe there was an uprising or something? Maybe they didn't want images to leak? Someone to see their failure?" Loana proposed, thinking aloud.

"But only a few cells were opened." Cosmo reminded her.

"You wouldn't think it's the rebel force who attacked the prison before us, right?" dreaded Hazel, "we wouldn't have had the same idea with just one day of delay? That would be tragic."

"And they would have been interrupted by the Galra sentries, overwhelmed by their number and that would explain the fact they were so many the day we went. They had already gone through one break through their defenses. They were not to let it fall twice." Loana had spoken with the tone she'd use when she'd found the solution of a problem bothering her. However, this time her tone dropped at the conclusion it implied.

"Damn it!" Hazel cursed. "Are we really saying Deandra died because of a nonexistent communication between the different revolutionary forces?!"

/

"We should land in Olkari in about three doboshes!" stated Coran from the other side of the room, piloting the cruiser.

"Great!" Lucy was excited, she had never seen the Voltron Lions, never seen such things and what they had told her throughout the days they had been on her ship only made her even more curious.

"Flan. Stop wriggling. The ship is moving with all your fidgeting," teased the Lieutenant.

"I won't stop Jello. I'm too damn excited to see them!"

"There's not much to be excited for," said Allura, intrigued by the Captain's attitude. The more time she spent with her, the more she realized how alike the paladins and the Captain were. They were young, too young she'd often remind herself, but in moments like this, they would always find the way to put a grin, a smile, a laughter on their face.

Lucy Fair was that kind of person.

"Yeah well maybe you Alteans are used to the idea of seeing huge space lion robots but I am not. They freaking are the Voltron lions! That is so cool!"

"I know right, Luce?! So cool is the word," Hunk replied excitedly.

"Damn right," Pidge agreed. A proud grin on her face.

"And you'll see, Blue is the coolest of them all," Lance added, winking.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Lance, Red is the best."

"Wo wo, I think we can all agree that Black is!"

Allura stared at the five of them – really the paladins were such dorks when it came to their lions.

She smiled. She was proud to work with them.

They landed right away and in a few ticks they had arrived at the Olkari headquarters. Ryner welcomed them inside with open arms and led them to the hangar where the lions and the castle were waiting for them.

Allura felt their energy as soon as she stepped passed the threshold. Reacting to the Ateans' presence, the light of the Castle came to life and the mighty lions came into sight. The white metal of their armors reflecting the bright light of the room.

"Big space kitties…" stated Lieutenant Teerah in awe.

Lucy let an impressed gasp escape her lips.

A frightened yelp escaped from Merryn's and she ran, actually ran, into Lucy's legs.

"Oh my poor little volcano baby," Lucy smiled fondly at the petrified puppy the hound had become in the blink of an eye. She kneeled beside her and put Merryn's big head on her chest. "There, there, darling. Everything is fine. I'm here."

"Didn't know lions were big cats right?" Shiro asked, a smile on his face.

"Nothing to worry about! They're pure metal, not breathing real cats!" As to back up his statement Lance knocked his wrist on Blue's metal skin. But at the contact of his palm, the blue lion roared.

Merryn barked in terror at the sound. Burying her head even more in Lucy's chest.

"Okay. That didn't help at all. Thanks, Blue," scolded Lance.

"Let's get you out of here, baby." Lucy kept talking to Merryn in a soothing voice as they exited the hangar.

Ryner looked at them in disbelief. She had heard of the scary bloodthirsty hellhounds of the tales, and here was the said scary creature, her first time seeing one, reduced to an inoffensive pup by the sight of five lions. Enormous and imposing lions, yes, but still. The universe would never stop surprising her…

Meanwhile, the paladins had gotten closer to the lions and Jijii was staring at them.

"So we've got Water Kitty. Fire Kitty. Earth Kitty. Forest Kitty. AND MAMA SPACE KITTY," she exclaimed in front of the black lion, stars in her eyes.

Hunk, Lance, and Pidge, burst into laughter. Keith put his hand on Shiro's shoulder, biting back his own smile. "The space dad struggle is real, bro."

Coran and Allura laughed, Shiro would never get rid of the nickname at this rhythm.

"And we could even turn them into plushies and they have cool colors and-"

"Plushies?" Shiro interrupted the lieutenant who had been thinking aloud.

"Yes, plushies. The children already make Merryn plushies so making the Lions' would bring some variety. Less discreet than the Merryn ones but still."

"You make plushies." Every time Lance thought the crew couldn't surprise him anymore he'd learn something new about them. Each time more unusual than the previous ones.

"Yes. This is called soft power, Mr. Sharpshooter. Plus the children love making them, it's super fun, they're super cute and it's money in our pocket and rebel propaganda under the nose of the Galra. So many birds with one stone!"

"This is so cool!"

After that, Ryner started explaining all the things they did and checked inside the Castle and the lions.

"Then that means with the Castle we'll be back in no time to the others and we won't miss the beginning of the party!" Jijii exclaimed as Ryner was mentioning the wormhole process and the system's overhaul.

"The party?" Coran inquired, not knowing what the woman meant.

"Yes, a party. To end the grieving day and celebrate d-day's arrival," she paused, turning her gaze towards the Olkari officer that stood next to them. "You'll be coming with us Ryner?"

"That would have been with pleasure but I'll have to decline your offer Lieutenant. Duty calls."

"Too bad. Guess that'll be more booze for us, then! Let's go retrieve Lucy and leave, we don't want to attract the Galra's attention today."

Scarlet Kaida's ship crew is different.

Kolivan couldn't have been more right, Allura thought before following the others. She thanked Ryner one more time and stepped inside the Castle. After without feeling its energy within her, she embraced the feeling of being back. Home .

/

Hours later they were all in the main room of the Scarlet Kaida, music playing loud. Shiro looked around him. The scenery was very much alike to the first night they spend with the crew. Dancing, spinning, laughing, everything was similar yet it felt different to him. Different at first because the people before him weren't strangers to him anymore. After those weeks spent with them, sparing with some of them, he had had time to get to know them better, their way of living, of thinking.

Different too, because he also knew they were all grieving and that partying was their way of coping with the events of life.

They needed to be together to get going. To move on and not forget. To move on and not stay stuck in their pain. To move on and keep fighting.

I will keep fighting. I will stand tall. I will not let my guard falter.

Pidge's burst of laughter next to him brought him out of his reverie. Another funny anecdote on the captain and her lieutenant it seemed.

"Seriously Ash, how many stories like that do you have?" Hunk wiped away a tear from his eye, still barely breathing.

"Oh so many. Trust me. Even Alan who joined us a few months ago would have lots of stories to tell. Life aboard this ship is unbelievable, really."

"Keep them coming, girl!" Pidge asked, mischief reflecting on her glasses.

"I'm sure people like Hazel or Aeris would have more interesting stories to tell you. They were both here before me, and Aeris is their third in command after all. She must have seen a lot."

Shiro turned his head to the other side of the room where the two women were dancing. The captain wore a skater dress, the grey part above her waist highlighting her dangling golden necklace while the pink bottom part swirled with every of her movement. Jijii had left her usual red cape for an oversized military jacket and tight black pants.

The two women shared a strong bond. That, Shiro could tell. Anyone who had spent more than three seconds could, really. Shiro wondered what had brought them together. The fact they shared same origins didn't seem to be the reason behind their strong friendship. What could bring two young women at the command of a pirate spaceship, working for the rebels?

The same kind of turn of even that had brought him and the others as paladins, he pondered.

"How did you all met?" He finally asked. "How did Scarlet Kaida came to be?"

"When I joined, there was already a lot of people among the crew. Scarlet Kaida was already what it is today. But, besides that, I don't know much of Scarlet Kaida's birth. I know Cosmo was there at the very beginning. A few others were too."

"But we don't talk about it much," added Lo who had just arrived with Aeris. "Like I said to you before, we're all a big family and we heal together. The captain and the lieutenant share a past, Cosmo shares one with them too and we all have our share of open wounds and Scarlet Kaida helps us heal."

"Some are here because of unexpected coincidences, some are here because they had nowhere else to go. Some because they lost everything. Some are here for justice. Some for revenge. We all have different reasons to be here. Captain Lucy and Lieutenant Julie are no exceptions to the rule…"

An understanding silence wrapped itself around the table, the paladins letting the words sink in. They still had so much to learn about Scarlet Kaida's family members.

"So. Are the two of them together?" asked Lance eyeing the Scarlet Leaders from afar.

"Lance!" Hunk scolded.

"What?" Lance replied, not understanding where the scolding came from. This was a question that needed to be asked!

"No, they're not," laughed Aeris. "Guess they can give the wrong impression sometimes though. But no, it's more like a best friend- No. Sister relationship." She corrected herself. "The two of them are like two sides of the same coin. The other side of each other's blade."

"I've never seen one without the other, to be honest. Granted Jijii isn't 24/7 by Lucy's side on the ship but we know they're always with each other." Ash thought out loud.

"Plus," Lo added, "at one point or another you'll just hear Lucy burst into laughter in the middle of a meeting and that'll just be Jijii messing around with stupid jokes in her head."

"They found some way to use her power against her," smiled Aeris. "Funnier moments are when Lucy's stomach suddenly starts to growl and she'll just glare at Cosmo be like 'stop thinking of waffles, damn it!' and that's just hilarious. So no, they aren't taken. Not yet anyway."

"But how about Voltron's love life! Is there any couple?" Loana inquired.

"And here enter the matchmakers of our crew." Ash laughed.

"Shush Ash, shush."

"Does your princess have a lover? Or maybe," Aeris and Lo exchanged a knowing look, closing in on Lance and Keith, "maybe you have?"

"Us?" asked Lance and Keith, dumbfounded.

"US. Oh my god you are together!" squealed the scientist

"WHAT? NO!" Lance denied in a rush. Where was this coming from?!

"Hear that Ash? Hear that!" Lo hold on the cook's arm, a happy smile on her face. A kid at Christmas, Pidge thought, enjoying the situation. Too bad she didn't have her camera with her, this really was blackmail and personal enjoyment goals.

"We aren't together, what the hell!" Pidge laughed even more at Keith's reaction.

"But that is so cute," Aeris cooed.

"Having fun, I see," asked Lucy in their back. "Not talking about me behind my back, I hope?"

"Us? Never!" Aeris answered, putting her best innocent angel face.

"We wouldn't dare," Lo teased in a warm smile.

Yeah, sure I believe you kiddo.

Lucy's reply in her mind made Lo smile.

"How come you were at the other side of the room a few seconds ago and now you're here?"

"It was a perfect illusion," Lucy sang as an answer.

"Stop quoting Lady Gaga as an answer you silly Cap!" Loana complained.

"Never!" Lucy turned her gaze towards the scientist and put her head on Lo's shoulders. "Sugar Lo darling, wanna dance? Cosmo is tired already and Jjiii went for a walk under the stars."

"You bet he's tired! You've been dancing nonstop for hours!"

"Baby, I beg you please!"

"Nope. I'm good here."

"Then I'll steal your Sharpshooter, Red!" And with that, the pirate woman took Lance's wrist and disappeared as fast as she came - Without the help of Merryn this time however.

"We'll talk about it later, Keith, we won't let go of such subject." And with that, she winked and left the table as well.

Cosmo arrived a few seconds afterward, red cheeks, completely exhausted, with a drink in his hand.

"Breathing again, Jupy?" Lo teased.

The only answered she received from her lab partner was a grunt as he let himself sink into his chair. " What is energy? I'm going to die, " he signed dramatically.

"Oh come on sweet boy, that weak?"

"She stole the energy from my body, Lo."

"Lame."

"And here it goes Hunk!" Pidge said with a victory cheers. "You lost the bet." Keeping her attention on Lance and not on the conversation between the two lab partners as she couldn't understand their sign languages, she had not missed the blush spreading on the captain's cheeks nor her self-conscious laughter.

"Damn it." He cursed.

"Hehe."

"What bet?" Keith asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"We bet on how long it would take for Lance to start hitting on the Scarlet Leaders."

Cosmo choked on his drink and Shiro gave him a weird intrigued look.

"And I just lost." Hunk whined, eyeing at Lance and Lucy dancing at the opposite side of the room. "How can he be so manner less!"

The other laughed at his desperate sigh while Pidge was already thinking of the favor she'd ask from Hunk. Lo smiled at the cold look Cosmo sent Lance.

A few seconds later, the children came to their table and dragged them to the dancefloor. Who knew they could be so persuasive? Shiro found himself surrounded by a bunch of them, as they were all staring at his amazing superhero prosthetic that surely gave him superpowers, right? Shiro's nervous smile soon disappeared in front of their dropping jaws when he activated the system and its glowing fingers.

As for Allura, Sam and his friends Maria and Tom dragged her to a table and taught her everything about Disney movies. Allura smiled at their excited voices and grins. How could she not know, that she was basically Kida the princess of Atlantis?! It was an absolute scandal. Sammy's words. Pidge nor Keith did escape the excited storm that Lo became when her favorite song started to play and she dragged them both to the dancefloor once again.

/

Jijii breathed in the air of the midnight sky. She had missed being able to watch the stars this way. On land, the stars above her sparkling like thousands of light. On Lucy's request, Hazel had landed the ship on a nearby planet so they'd be safe for the night and wouldn't be bothered by random Galra ships passing by.

Jijii loved watching the stars because wherever you are if you're able to look up at the sky and watch the stars then it means you're free. And nothing else matters more than freedom and family.

She smiled at the thought. Family . She was glad to have Scarlet Kaida in her life. She didn't want to think about what her life would have been if Lucy hadn't barged into it one day. Would she even be alive?

Dwelling on those thoughts wasn't something to do at this time and she pushed them away. They needed to be focused on the final battle coming, on their goals. Freedom .

In three weeks, if everything turned out right they would all be free and Lo, Aeris and herself would be planning Lucy's twentieth birthday, right under her nose. How could a mind reader be so oblivious? Jijii didn't know but it made the surprise even better.

She closed her eyes and listened to the music that could be heard on the main deck. It was a slower pace than earlier, soothing and calming. The others were probably going to sleep one by one.

She should probably go to her room too. Or at least check on the others. Some didn't handle alcohol. And some forgot that booze can bring the pain back, as well.

She heard a sigh behind her and spotted a shadow on the opposite side of the deck. Lance . Jijii wasn't one to let someone by themselves, so she went to him and sat there. Silently waiting and counting the time it'd take him to notice she was here. Her favorite game.

Lance leaned on the rail of the ship and let himself catch his breath once again. It'd been awhile since he had last danced like this. And damn it had been fun, and good to do it once more. Teasing the clumsy mess that dizzy Lucy was, was also really fun, he had to admit. If you had said to him one day he'd be partying with pirates in space just before a big battle where they were going to slay the evil emperor he wouldn't have believed it. Would have laughed at this person's face. But it was real. It was sometimes still hard to believe.

How long had it been since the five of them had become paladins? Lance didn't know anymore.

How did it end up like this? Flying space robots? Alternate realities? Mind reading? Pirates? War ?

How did he end up there?

Three weeks to go. In three weeks only they were to fight Zarkon.

The end, his end, was near and this was all that mattered.

Would being the Sharpshooter be enough?

Lance looked up at the night sky. If there was something he enjoyed above all else on this ship, it was its open deck. A sort of shield protected the area and allowed anyone to go out and enjoy the view; sometimes galaxies and planets when they were traveling into space, sometimes stars and their constellations when they were, like today, on land. The stars had always soothed him, and he had grown accustomed to seeing other constellations than the familiar ones he had spent seventeen years scrutinizing from his window back in Cuba.

Great, now he was anxious and homesick.

He leaned against the ship's rail, closed his eyes and exhaled. D-Day was the day they all had been waiting for since that time on Arus when they became paladins. It wasn't the time to start thinking about his place in the team, whether he was or not a good pilot, if he deserved the nickname of Sharpshooter if he still even had a thing when he saw all the others improve drastically when he just stayed there on the same level as before. Down on earth while the others reached the stars. No. Definitely not the night for that kind of thoughts.

Easier said than done, however.

"You shouldn't let those thoughts take over, Lance."

The blue paladin shrieked. "Jijii what tHE HELL?! Since when have you been here!"

"Thirteen minutes and forty-six seconds."

"What?! I didn't hear you at all!"

"Happens a lot. Nighttime isn't in your favor either. Helps my ninja skills," She winked but his face didn't lit up with the familiar smile she had grown accustomed to. "However, you shouldn't let those thoughts guide you, Blue." Seeing the puzzled look on his face she kept going. "I've seen that look too many times Lance, I know what you're thinking so I'll just tell you not to let them win."

"Yeah, right," he scoffed.

"Tell me, buddy," she said while getting up, dusting off her pants, "what do you think of me in my crew?"

"What?"

"Just answer."

"I don't know, um you get along with everyone and you look like you help your captain a lot, no?"

"Yeah, but just like you, I am doubting."

"You are?"

"Yes, of course! I mean, they all have their thing. I doubt cause there are engineers, better fighter than me, a navigator, a super leader... and there's me. I'm vice-captain but I don't have a thing."

"Says the one who can summon fire and has a black, sharpened, blade at her belt," Lance smirked.

"See? You're still saying you thought I had my place in my crew. That I helped. I think the same about you. They need you and your jokes and without you, their tension would build up until they self-destroy." She paused, tearing her gaze apart from the stars to look at him in the eye. "And boy, you're the sharpest shooter I've ever met!

Lance blushed at her enthusiasm.

"Please don't tell my crew. I love them but some can get pretty jealous."

"I've seen that," he laughed.

"Oh?"

"Earlier, I felt the daggers in my back. Hazel, Cosmo, and others didn't seem so happy I was having fun with Lucy."

"Don't take it too personally, they all have their past and because of it, they're quite protective of the captain."

"No worries. I'm quite impressed with your crew actually. They're strong and won't let a hard blow take them down. They get up and keep going forward. That's amazing. They're amazing."

"Fake it till you make it, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't let those dark thoughts win, Lance. You're amazing as well. But as amazing as you are, I think you also need to sleep. And you'll be needing all the rest you can get during those three upcoming weeks, right?"

"Yeah, good night Lieutenant."

"Good night, Sharpshooter. I'll make sure everyone's in their bed before I go to mine."

"So this is where the mom friend nickname comes from then," Lance smiled as he crossed the door."

"Yup, and proud to be!"

/

Lucy lied on the deck of her ship, hands under her neck as she breathed in once more the air under the translucent shield. Stars and far away galaxies shining above her head.

"Lo and Cosmo truly made a wonderful job," she thought aloud, thinking back to all the hours of brainstorming, creating and programming those two had passed on this project.

"Indeed," chuckled a feminine voice.

"Oh heya Jijii!" She smiled, looking at her lieutenant and friend bending over her, hands on her hips, brown ponytail swinging. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? What are you doing there, Luce?"

"Stargazing," she answered bluntly.

"And drinking I see?" She stated, eyeing the bottle by Lucy's elbow. "Girl. You don't drink, what is it? The big day is approaching, you should be getting some rest like everyone else."  
The big day.

The day she had been waiting for, for years now. Her, as well as all her crew members.

It isn't a battle we can take lightly, Lucy!

He killed Deandra! Killed her like a coward!

I will stand tall. I will not let my guard falter.

Time had finally come. The end of the dark tunnel was coming, promising better days, hope.

Light and life.

"Say, Ji'," she paused, opening her eyes again to look at her lieutenant and friend by her side.

Always, Julie had whispered that fateful night, blood still dripping from her wrists.

"What do you think will happen after all this? Do you think we will split? I'm sure everyone will want to go home..."

"You know, for most of them, this has become the only home they know Luce. You brought them all together. A big, wild, mismatched and noisy family that is!" She laughed. "I mean, we fight from time to time, but we are always here for each other! Never leaving anyone behind, and always have each others' back when needed. And however unlikely and weird this family seems, we do help each other; even if the other can't or won't ask for help."

"I don't need help, Jijii." The lieutenant tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at her. Lucy heard the words loud and clear in her friend's mind " Yeah sure. I believe you, Captain".Not like she needed the help of her ability, it was written all over Julie's face that she wasn't believing her. Jijii just enjoyed (too much for Lucy's own sanity), to think really loud to mess with her. So you stop your bullshit she'd said the day she discovered that trick.

"I'm just- A bit nostalgic that is. I got used to it. To that ," she stated, opening her arms wide, showing the ship. "Got used to feeling the tug of their minds, their presence, in my own head. Got used to Ash humming in the kitchen, got used to Zamia always fighting for more of her favourite cookies, got used to Lo's long and passionate speeches about what she loves, to Aeris' squeals as she tries to matchmake and protect everyone as her own, got used to Hazel's laughter in the corridors as she tries to catch Steve who messed with Merryn too much, got used to Sammy's laughters as he plays with the others, got used to the knives throwing in the main room every now and then between Aria and Cosmo, to his songs and melodies in my head as I am the only one able to hear him anymore…"

Her voice caught in her throat. "I don't want to see their faces full of sorrow, dread, fear anymore. I wanna bring them back to where they were all taken from, but I also want to never be separated from them and yet I want to go back to Atlantis again and go on adventures and-"

"Then so we will. We'll bring them all there. We'll take them to the waterfalls of Finisterrae, we'll discover and remember about our favorite places and dishes, reunite with our people, and dance and drink all night under the three glowing moons. And after that, we'll visit everyone else's planet, we'll go pay a visit to your goddaughters and their parents and go on many more adventures altogether. The Scarlet Kaida will never stop sailing."

"And we will rule the universe and our new space kitty knight robot in its shining armor will defend it!" Drink and sleep in her voice, the captain stumbled and burst into a laughter as Julie failed to catch her. They both landed on their butts in a loud thud.

"You really can't handle alcohol kiddo."

"You know sometimes I wonder how they all decided to jump on that deck when I'm so young, to follow after me even though some are twice or thrice my age…"

"Because you're a great cap!" She tapped the edge of Lucy's hat, blue feathers disheveled. "And age doesn't mean a thing. Your soul is probably just older than what you think, and you are great at leading people. Even without your power, you know what to say and what to do, and you recognize your priorities. I mean, if they all followed you, it's not without a reason. You're both a badass pirate and a cute lil sister we all want to protect and make happy. So, we will, of course, follow you everywhere."

"You mean it?"

"Every word, my dear captain Flan." She winked.

"Lili Jello!" and with that Jijii fall to the ground once more, tackled by her sleepy tipsy captain, who was now crushing her into a hug.

"Merryn has too much influence on you."

"Mishush."

"You're impossible," Jijii laughed, ruffling Lucy's undone hair; her hat having rolled further in their fall. "Let's get to bed, would you? You need rest. Or else tomorrow you're going to look like a dried and angry jellyfish in front of everyone. And you don't want that, right?

"Right."

"Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"It starts with getting off my stomach."

"But I'm good here," she whined, nuzzling in Jijii's hair.

"Luce, you're drunk."

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. Now get off my chest, I'm suffocating."

"Are you implying I'm heavy ?! Me? Your captain? Your friend ?" Lucy's outraged tone made Jijii laughed.

"Pretty much."

"Treachery! Mutiny! Betrayal!"

"Poor drama queen." And with that, she pushed away Lucy without much warnings.

"AOUCH!"

"I warned you."

"You didn't."

"Aren't you supposed to have mind reading abilities?"

"Didn't hear anything. You're lying."

"You wouldn't know. Now get up your lazy ass," Jijii extended her hand to help and lift her up.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"The world is spinning around me and you have three hands at the moment."

"Oh my god Lucy, how many drinks did you have?!"

"Don't have that many fingers."

"You're unbelievable. You don't want me to carry you to your bed, right?"

"That would actually be a good thing after all the awful things you said to me."

"Oh, come on! Get up."

"Nah."

"Merryn will eat all your plushies if you don't get up now."

"She wouldn't. I've raised her well!"

"You know how she gets when we're not near her. Especially those days."

"tHEN hELp mE"

"You annoying brat."

"You love me!"

Half an hour later, Jijii had finally managed to get her captain to her room. Safely tucked in bed and having taken one of special Lo's medicines, Lucy was resting her head in Jijii's lap, slowly drifting to sleep. Jijii kept stroking the long brown hair, listening to her steady heartbeats.

And when Lucy's mask finally fell over during her sleep, and that the silent tears slid down her cheeks, when she whimpered and kicked the sheets; she held Lucy's hand tight and put her closer.

They were alive. And soon they were gonna go home. Dark times will finally be over.

Soon .


	6. Counting down the days

Coran stood on the catwalk above the training deck, scrutinizing every movement of the paladins training below, firing and ducking the attacks of the gladiator robots. Ever since they had retrieved the Castle on Olkari the other day, they had all been able to go back to their training rituals. Working on their teamwork and synchronization. Coran felt a wave of nostalgia as he thought back to the first training of the paladins. What a fiasco it had been. They had come a long way…

But the paladins weren't the only one training in the room and Coran observed as Allura sparred with crewmen of Lucy's, more or less familiar to him. From his spot, he recognised the long blue hair of the cook as well as the blonde ponytail of their spymaster Aria.

Other memories hit him. Alfor and the others used to train like this as well. In their own time, fighting and bickering, betting on the last slice of pie waiting in the fridge.

Soon, he thought, soon the story will finally end. Soon they were going to stop Zarkon and soon they'll start to make amend for the mistakes of the past.

Coran was not going to let Zarkon destroy more lives, more planets and break more families apart. No more Alluras, no more Sammys. No more orphans left behind. No more.

Twenty days to go before closing the dark chapter and opening a new page.

/

Her lion roared as she roamed through space. Pidge was on her way back to the Castle. Their mission of the day had been to bring home the prisoners they freed that fateful day. Pidge could still feel the sadness she'd felt in the air the day of Deandra's funeral. The grief in their eyes only reminding of her mother's the day the soldiers arrived at their doorstep, announcing the death of her husband and son. Dad, Matt, I will bring them back to you, Mom. I will come back.

Her quest to find her brother and dad had turned another way but she wasn't forgetting the main reason why she had gone to space. On the contrary, reuniting all those families made her even more eager to find them.

She was going to find her family.

She was going to defeat Zarkon with her team.

She was going to defend the universe.

She was a paladin of Voltron.

Being a paladin was part of her now. She wondered if the universe would still need the paladins after this last battle. Because there was going to be an after. Life would rise again and fear would leave the hearts. There was going to be an after. And she will keep convincing herself and others of this until it wasn't needed anymore.

Seventeen days to go before battle.

/

Makara sat in the children's bay, the young three years old Tara on her knees. While she was combing and braiding her hair, Tara was organising the pens and crayons in front of her. Sharpening her tongue at the sound their colours made in the different language she knew.

"Blue. Bleu. Blau… Red. Rouge. Rot… Green. Vert. Grün… Yellow. Jaune. Gelb… Black. Noir. Schwarz…"

"The colours of the five Lions of Voltron."

"Yes!"

"And how would you spell that?" As soon as she asked her question, Makara saw the gears of the little girl's brain work behind her eyes. She always was thirsty to learn and work on her knowledge.

"V. O. L. T. R. O. and…."

"And N."

"And N," the little girl repeated her letters again, trying to remember them.

"Tara, can you give me the green pen, please?" Sammy asked, his nose still buried in his drawing.

"Here!" Sammy didn't even look up and took the pen she was handing him, trusting her judgment. Their interactions always reminded Makara of the one of a surgeon and his team during an operation. Unless here, the surgeon was a nine-year-old boy, and the needle he was threading was a pen connecting the dots on his paper.

"What are you drawing this time, Sammy?"

"A big house for when we've defeated Zarkon so we'll live together."

"You don't want to go back to your planet? There might be family members looking for you there, you know."

"No. Lucy is family now. And Merryn and you and Tom and Maria and everyone else. And we stick with family. Isn't that right? Isn't it what Lucy told us, Makara?"

"Of course, Sam."

"I'm a Scarlet Boy and Scarlet Kaida is my home."

Makara was moved by the intensity of his words. If only she could have as much confidence as he had. There were less than two weeks before the big battle now, and tension kept rising.

/

"So," Aeris started, looking at her fellow crewmates, "let's recap the plan. The battle will take place in three steps. First of all, before attacking the mothership where Zarkon is, which is our main focus, we'll need to take down the two nearby Galra bases. Cosmo, Aria, you and fifty of our men will go with Ryner's army and take down the first base. Loana and Hazel will go and take down the second one with the Arusian army. It's primordial to take those down because when we'll attack Zarkon's main ship, they won't be able to ask for immediate backup. We'll need every second we can earn. Then the next step is attacking Zarkon's ship. Voltron and the aerial unit that I'll be part of will take care of the smaller cruisers. And then... then the captain and her lieutenant and their units will go with Kolivan and his men. Their job is to take down Zarkon."

"I can't believe it took them so long to come up with this. That's basically Lucy's plan," Aria growled.

"Yeah I know; Lucy shouted long enough about this. Trust me, I know."

"And what about the third step?"

"That, Cosmo, is under the control of Luxia and the other leaders of the Coalition. Taking down smaller bases all across the Empire. It will be a long shot but we can do this. It's our one and only chance. We're hitting Zarkon at full blast. That bastard will wish he was never born."

Nine days to go before the battle. Nine days before avenging the one she loved and protecting the ones who were still breathing. Aeris hoped that, for once, their so-called perfect plan would work. They had no other choice.

I will keep fighting. I will stand tall. I will not let my guard falter.

Her captain's word resonated in her mind. The young girl had grown up since their first encounter.

"You're part of the family now", she had smile, dirt from the explosion still covering her face, "and family stick together."

And Aeris was not going to let Zarkon take her family ever again.

/

Sammy stared at the bag next to him. A backpack with all of his belongings. Shirts and pants. Drawings and pens. Pictures and plushies. Everything was there.

"I don't want to go." He hated how his voice betrayed him near the end, how it seemed to falter when all he wanted was to appear as a grown up.

"Sammy, you know I can't bring you with me." Lucy kneeled before him, her hair braided around her head. Like a crown, he thought once more as she put her warm hands on his cheeks. "It's too dangerous."

"But if it's dangerous for me, it's dangerous for you too!" His voice quivered once more, and the bubble in his throat kept growing. He felt the tears stinging in his eyes.

"A battlefield is not meant for children, Samuel."

"But-"

"Sam…" Lucy took him against her chest, looping her arms around his back, hiding his sobs from the other. "Plus," she whispered softly in his ears, stroking his hair, "Tom, Maria, Tara and all of the others? They need their big brother to protect them. They need you."

He scoffed at that and hold her closer. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want her to go.

"You'll come back? Tell me you'll come back."

"Of course, darling," she added, untightening her grip around his shoulders. She kissed the tears on the edge of his eyelids and smiled at him. "Now off you go, Scarlet Boy! They're waiting for you."

Sammy knew she had lied. His bag under his seat was enough proof of it. There had been other battlefields before. Other times when she had asked her crew to bring him and the other children to a safe place for a few days. But never had Makara been asked to pack everything into a bag. Never had he been asked to take everything with him.

He knew Lucy had lied. Because if she had asked this of Makara that meant she wasn't sure someone would be able to bring them home.

/

Cosmo's hands didn't quiver as he finished setting up yet another grenade.

Twenty other people were in his lab, working on similar tasks. He needed all the help he could get to manage the making of as many weapons as he could. Aboard Scarlet Kaida, it was his job. Often, he was helped by Loana, and sometimes Hazel, and they would all gather in brainstorming sessions and come up with new ideas. New stuff to create. His favourite project had been the translucent shield around the ship.

And in times like this, their engineering skills were used for building up weapons and strategies. The translucent shield's notes had been used to create portable ones. Similar to the one Lucy had used the day they went to try and save Deandra and her men. It had been twenty days already and in three only, he'd get a chance at avenging her death. At never letting this happen again to one of his friends.

He didn't want to see Aria crying ever again. To see his partner in crime so broken, to see his captain putting up a mask in order to protect them, to see everyone so destroyed...

He didn't want to see any of this ever again.

He didn't need his voice to protect them.

He didn't need his voice to kill.

His hands didn't quiver as he finished yet another grenade because, in three days, he was going to give everyone a chance to breathe again and truly smile.

/

The day had come.

The pommel of her dagger was smooth on her palm. The purple of the amethyst's blade shined with a dark gloom under the moonlight. She closed her eyes and twenty exact copies of the blade appeared before her. Perfect and smooth. The edge as sharp as the original was.

In the blink of an eye, she cast them away.

For the past few weeks, between training sessions with the paladins, meetings with her generals and making sure everyone was reaching their goals and tasks, she'd been working on her magic and illusions. She needed to be prepared.

She was used to creating stuff with her mind. She only needed to think about it and she could forge it into the air. Lots of furniture on board had been designed this way, much cheaper if you asked, as she was able to hold them in reality for as long as she wanted. The objects only disappearing if she wanted them to or if her energy ran out.

Back on her planet, there were different kind and types of magic. Jijii had the typical fire of the west region, whereas she had inherited a strong form of mind magic.

In addition to her ability to create objects, she could read minds. And if she couldn't alter memories in people's mind, she could alter their reality. Make them see things that weren't there. And unsee things that were. The day they met Voltron she had not turned her crew invisible but she had penetrated the paladins' minds, had hidden the knowledge of most of her crew's presence. And when she fought Shiro, she had told his brain she was in front of him when in fact she was behind. She had persuaded his brain that she was here. If Keith had spoken a few seconds earlier, the illusion in Shiro's brain would have fallen apart as soon as Shiro would have acknowledged the possibility. As soon as his brain would have suspected something was wrong.

Illusionists, tricksters… There was a lot of names given to that side of her ability.

She stared one last time at her blade, observing every inch of it. And then, memories of the time she had bought it suddenly hit her.

She wasn't a captain at that time, Scarlet Kaida wasn't born yet. But Cosmo and Jijii were already by her side. They were in an unknown town and had decided to wander and explore the streets, and had ended up in the marketplace. She had seen the blade on one of the stands, sun hitting its purple sparks, reminding her of the blade she once owned.

She had bought it right away, not even bothering to negotiate the price as she was holding it and feeling it under her fingers for the first time, admiring its design.

The sting at the end of her finger brought her back to reality. Seeing the drop of dark blood made her grin. Even after six years, the blade was still sharp as new.

Just as was her resolve to kill the man who had brought so much pain into her life.

Her smile came to a thin line as she tucked her blade back into her belt. She was right. She was quite the hypocrite, telling her crewmembers to find other reasons to keep going than revenge, not to live by bloodlust, when the only reason keeping her alive besides everyone's safety was her will to make him pay.

/

Sammy blinked as another snowflake landed in his eyes. Snow… He had never seen snow before.

Everything was covered with a thick layer of white powder. The trees, the houses, the roads, the fields, the rooftops, everything! Sammy found it amazing and was bewildered as he kept staring at his feet, now hidden by the snow. His boots were diving through the white cold coat.

Maggie giggled a few feet away, building a snowman with her twin sister. As Sammy went to retrieve his Merryn plushie he had left on a bench, as he was distracted by the snow earlier, he saw two figures appear in the middle of the mist. Their hoods up, battling with the wind.

In a few minutes, they were in front of him.

The two newcomer, two men, looked down at him. Their cloak did nothing to hide the guns at their belt.

But Sammy wasn't scared. Strangely ‒ after spending two years aboard a pirate ship, he had seen worse, but he also knew that Tori's inn was a place where rebel fighters took a well-earned break.

And no one with a brain would hang out far from their home without a weapon. Sammy knew that too. So he wasn't scared.

"We're looking for the… Dragon's lair?"

"The inn is at the end of the field. It's the smoking chimney over there. I'll show you the way," turning back to the younger girls still playing in the snow, their red scarf tightened around their neck Sammy added, "come on Maggie, Maddie! Let's get inside or you're gonna catch a cold!"

Sammy took Margaret's and Madeleine's hands into his owns and led to way to the inn, carefully making his way in the snow. The sun was still high in the sky, but with the fog, he barely saw in front of him.

Once inside, he offered to take their cloak and hanged them by the fireplace. Natsilane's boots were already drying there, as well as Tori's coat.

Now without their hoods, Sammy took time to observe the men as they hit the end of their boots to shake off the dirty snow stuck under their soles. The tallest man had light orange-brown hair and was at least the same height as Deandra, or at least that's what it seemed to him.

Sammy also realized that even though the other man was rather tall as well, he definitely looked younger than his partner. The pearl grey eyes of the mysterious stranger landed on Sammy's staring glare and the young boy turned his gaze away, caught red-handed.

"It's quite the plushie you've got here, young boy," the man said, eyeing at the black toy on the table.

"Her name's Merryn. She's a hellhound."

"A hellhound?! Damn it, that's cool."

"Hehe I know right? Lucy is cool too."

"Lucy?"

"Lucy Fair, captain of the Scarlet Kaida! A courageous and awesome captain sailing through the galaxies! She's going to beat Zarkon's ass!"

"Sam! Maggie!" Tori had appeared on the threshold, warm socks on her feet. Her wedding ring glinted in the firelight. "First? Language. Then? This is not something you are supposed to share around! Secrecy, remember?"

"But mom they are rebel fighters," the little girl argued, stars in her eyes.

"That, too, is supposed to stay secret, darling."

"Oopsie," the little girl giggled, hiding her hands behind her back, her innocent smile spreading on her lips.

Her mother sighed. Really? How could she be mad at her daughter when she acted this way? She simply couldn't. She was weaker than Ash in front of a piece of cake, and that in itself was saying something.

"Lucy Fair…" The stranger with pale blue eyes stammered on his words, his hand resting on the chair next to him.

"Quite the name, isn't it?" Sammy beamed proudly. "She's fair and kind but beware, for the devil's wrath lurks underneath."

"And you said her ship was the Scarlet Kaida?"

Sammy didn't understand why the mysterious man was so shocked by his words. His face was paler than the snow now.

"Where can I find her," he suddenly asked, hurry in his voice.

"And why should we tell you?" Tori had put a protective hand on Sammy's shoulder, suspicious of the sudden interest the stranger had for her captain.

"Because if we are both fighting the Galra", the tall man observed, "we might as well join our forces right?"

"She isn't there anymore anyway, she left for Balmera last week."

Margaret really couldn't hold her tongue. Tori tsked, looking back at the men still standing at the entrance. She knew rebels fighters were hanging around those days, but she didn't know what to think about those two.

"Thank you for your hospitality, but we'll be leaving now," -blue-eyes said hurriedly, taking his friend by the arm and dashing outside, taking long strides; not bothered anymore by the snow nor the wind. They were out of view in a few seconds, the fog hiding them from sight.

Sammy held onto his Merryn, suddenly worried. Who were those two men? And what did they really wanted with his captain?

"Sammy, close the door. It's going to cool down the whole house."

Outside, the brown-haired man had caught up with his friend, putting his hood back on, he finally asked:

"What's with the sudden interest? And don't tell me it's for the greater good or fighting Zarkon! You looked pretty shaken up back there…"

"It's her Matthew! This is her! I've found her..."

sorry! i completely forgot to upload the chapters here as well! Hope you enjoyed and i hope to hear your feedbacks as the plot is finally showing its nose. wanna chat with me about SK, vld or whatever? come and find me on insta or tumblr under little-dragon-writes (you'll find news about the story over there as well as sneak peeks of the next chapters) 3/span/p


	7. The day we almost defeated the Empire

you have no idea how excited i am for you to read that chap. I'm so proud of how SK turned out cause this content was supposed to happen in chapter 2. But then i thought i needed to add a mission so we get to see more of the characters and boom prison mission, and boom deandra and her death and the 'war brings casualties' thingy cause no one is safe in this war and SO FINALLY THIS PART OF THE PLOT IS HAPPENING! FINALLY!

As this chap is the dday chap i was also so afraid to get into it and write because damn i struggled so much with that first battle with deandra but this one turned out really well to my opinion and i'm so proud of me!

Also? I'm waiting for your screams. You'll understand why but ofc, with the title you already know something is going to go bad. ;)

Kolivan stood next to her, her head barely reaching his shoulders as all their soldiers step into the different cruisers. Lucy observed him. This man was the leader of a Galra rebel association, he had stood against all odds and proved his allies of their worth. Mission after mission, always trying to rain on the Empire's parade. His eyes seemed to shine brighter as he activated the mask of his Marmora suit, leaving only his long white braid to be seen under his hood. How many friends had he lost during this quest to freedom? Ulaz, Thace,... How many other had died during the thousands of years they had been fighting against Zarkon?

Lucy sadly smiled as she remembered the crush Deandra had had on the man ever since she first met him. Lucy could swear Kolivan had blanched that day, seeing this woman, slightly taller than him, running with her strong four arms towards him; to pay her respect to the, oh so called great leader of the revolution he was.

 _Andry… I won't let your death be in vain. We will crush the Empire. We'll bring back hope and rest to everyone's soul. We will. I promise you._

The Blade of Marmora, Galra rebels, and the Scarlet Kaida, a bunch of angry wounded renegades, were about to join their strength to crush the Empire.

How ironic, the ones he had oppressed and rejected, all those people from different planets had only one and the same goal. _Him_. Voltron the legendary defender standing at their side.

Would it be enough? Would it work? How many of those eyes would still be looking at the stars tomorrow?

As a friend, she didn't want to think about it. But as a captain, it was her duty, her job, to do so. _Protect and save._

The communication device crackled in her ears. She hated it. Hated to have to rely on it. Hated it because it meant she couldn't use her powers to reach everyone. Some were already far away, having left for their own mission the day before. Cosmo's, Loana's, Aria's, Hazel's and a hundred of other bridges were dormant in her head.

The others overwhelmed by confidence, stress and fear.

She bid one last farewell to Allura who was standing in the hangar before the mask of her suit fell on her. Shutting all the dark thoughts in a faraway cupboard of her brain she closed the door behind the last two men. Just like everyone else on board, they were wearing Marmora suits as they provided way better protection than the outfits the Scarlet Kaida's members used to wear to battle. She watched as they sat, finding their own place next to their comrades.

It's too dangerous for children, she had said to Sammy a few days ago, but how many adults truly were here? Even if they looked more or less old, how was it compared to their lifespan? Even herself as a woman from Atlantis could hope and live for hundreds of years.

She buckled her seatbelt and feeling the presence of Merryn at her feet reassured her. She felt her hot breath through the fabric of her suit. The hound was calm, her dark head resting on her paws. She had regained her usual size recently and Lucy had no doubt that Merryn was going to enjoy changing her size in front of the Galra, scaring them, appearing out of nowhere, leaving as soon as she came, a metallic arm crushed between her fangs.

As soon as they would have penetrated the main ship, after Aeris and the other would have opened them the way that is, the fighters present on board of the different cruisers would progressively split into different teams, covering more grounds. Kolivan and half of his men were in this cruiser, Jijii and the rest of her men were in the other one.

She closed her eyes once more, slightly feeling the jump the cruiser made to reach their destination. Dizziness clouded her thoughts for a small second. At least some things didn't change. She had always been sensitive to the leap through galaxies.

She unbuckled her seatbelt and joined Kolivan at the pilot's side. Everywhere, purple screens displayed what was happening outside of the cruisers. The Central Command ship of Zarkon was in front of them. So close and yet so far.

 _Soon_.

Battles and explosions were everywhere, the Altean's castle firing blue lasers, aiming at the bigger jet squadrons, destroying them and splitting the groups, only for the Voltron Lions to come and end the job. Lucy was mesmerized by their synchronization, their teamwork. A white light blinded her when they finally formed Voltron, the mighty robot slaying the jets with the giant sword, protecting their own aerial units.

 _Aeris_.

"As soon as they break through," Kolivan spoke, his voice ever so serious, a hand resting on the pilot's headrest, "as soon as there's an opening, we need to go fast before they figure it out."

Another blast and a jet exploded in front of them. It wasn't because their main role wasn't to attack just yet that they couldn't defend themselves. With the invisible cloak spread on the cruisers' skin, the Galra pilot probably didn't understand what had gotten him. The Olkari had worked really hard on the Altean castle and the Voltron Lions in the past weeks, trying to be able to duplicate Altean technology on their own device. The green's lion ability came in a handy when her own ability couldn't be used in such situation.

Aeris' voice suddenly blazed through the com. "We're going to create a diversion now, be ready."

"Roger that." The pilot answered, pushing controllers and other coloured buttons on his panels. Aeris flew in front of them, two other jets on her flanks. Blast after blast, her squadron destroyed another ten jets in front of them. A blue light flashed in front of them and others were destroyed under the Castle's perfect aim. Voltron kept fighting off in the distance, attacking the largest defence system.

 _Finally_.

"Let's go kick the Emperor's ass!"

"Jijii, such a poet, as always," Lucy smiled at her friend's cheer. There was only her to claim such comments before battle. She always managed to cheer them up, to give them one last boost of motivation and confidence they needed.

"Ready to fight off Zarkon? To crush his empire to ashes and give everyone's freedom back?"

"Aye, aye Captain!"

"Then let's go!"

At Kolivan's and Lucy's sign, the flock inside both cruisers went out. They had managed to penetrate Zarkon's ship and had found themselves in one of the many landing areas. The spaces where the jets usually were were all empty, all of them fighting the coalition outside of the fortress.

They moved forward, progressing slowly but efficiently, taking down camera after camera. They still needed to keep their attack as much discreet as possible. They breached through another corridor and found no resistance there either. With all the jets out and Central Command under attack? Lucy bet they had concentrated forces elsewhere, reorganised themselves and had shifted everyone's position into the one of battle.

Central Command wasn't Zarkon's main ship for nothing. It was a fortress in every sense of the word. Corridors and staircases quickly turned into an impossible maze if you didn't know your way. But they did, and so they kept moving forward, kicking down every door and random soldier that were still holding their position before they'd raise the alarm.

"Time to split," Kolivan announced as they all reached another floor. Kolivan's aim would be to shut down the communication system, making impossible any transmission between the Galra soldiers and their superiors. Jijii's unit would still keep up with her for a few minutes before they'd have to split. Her job with her team was to go right away to the command room. Zarkon and Haggar and the highest of his generals were leading the operations from there.

With Kolivan taking down the system, Jijii damaging their defence from the inside and Aria, Cosmo, Hazel and Lo taking down their back up solution at the moment, they had the lead. They had the advantage. And her unit would make a good use of that, running towards their objective. Even if Zarkon turned out not to be in the command's room, they'd have a free access to all of their data and would be able to fully take control of the ship.

Another flight of stairs, another corridor, another unit of galra sentries to the ground. Lucy emptied another charger and four of her homemade daggers found their aim. At her side, Alan fought like a tiger, taking down galra soldier after galra soldier.

 _Some are here for justice. Some for revenge. We all have different reasons to be here._

His salt and pepper hair was already stained with blood and sweat, and he kicked another sentry to the ground. Lucy was panting as well but it wasn't time for a break. They needed to keep going.

The tremendous noise of an explosion suddenly resonated against the walls.

 _Please, everyone, be safe._

Jijii ran by Merryn's side, loving her mission. Contrariwise to the others, her job wasn't to be discreet. Her job was to create as much mess and damage as she could. And she was putting all of her energy into the task.

"Come and get me, bitches!"

Another fire blast aimed at a sentry squadrons, another galra falling under the swish of her blade. Her unit behind, she kept striking. It was their time to shine. Their time to make them pay for all the things they had done to them and to the scared populations under their yoke. Jijii had to admit she enjoyed fighting at the Blade soldiers' sides; they made every fight even more surprising and out of the ordinary, their fighting skills never ceasing to amaze her.

The bracelet on her wrist buzzed and she took the communication.

"Jello, do you copy?"

 _Lo_.

"Hiya Sugar Lo, good to hear your voice. How is everything going on your side? You don't need my help I hope? I'm in the middle of something at the moment," she joked.

"Good, if you're joking then it means everything is going sort of fine on your side. As for us, mission's over. We've taken down the place and everything's under control. I've heard from Cosmo and Aria and their operation went well too. Both bases out of service, my Lieutenant."

"Good job, Lo." Her voice was rushed as she kept running for another target. She dived under one of Merryn's fireballs and killed another soldier. "How is the situation where you are?"

"Hazel is gone to retrieve Scarlet Kaida with one of the smaller ships we found here. As for me, I'm attending to the wounded and as soon as she gets back we are going to teleport to the others."

"Good."

"Don't die there or I'll kill you."

Jijii smiled and ended the call. The first part of the plan was complete, Zarkon wouldn't be able to ask for backup. If Loana and the others had taken part in the destruction of two bases, a hundred others were going to follow the same fate in the next hours, taken down by other units of the coalition all throughout the galaxies. Now, Kolivan needed to take down the communication of the ship and the second part of the plan would be complete.

For once, everything was going according to plan.

She didn't have time to acknowledge another thought however, as something exploded next to her. The detonation's blast sent everyone against the walls. She was knocked out cold.

Kolivan stabbed another enemy, protecting with some of his men the server's room entrance. Inside, three other were hacking Zarkon's system.

"We're done Leader, ready to shut down everything."

"Good." He put down another soldier, falling on his knees as another hit him in the back. "Warn the others that it will take down our line for a few minutes and then destroy everything. We need to leave the area."

Kolivan couldn't shake off the feeling in his gut that something was wrong. Something felt wrong about the whole organisation of the fortress' defences. Everything was too easy. Even if they had come across resistance, security should have been higher. He had infiltrated the ship before and even then, even under attack, the procedure had not been as defenceless as it was now.

Coming out of the room, the three soldiers and himself started to run, escaping the blast of the explosion.

Lucy kept running, climbing stair after stair, ducking and striking when soldiers would come their way. She was out of breath. Her lungs burned and she was having a strong headache with all the minds her power was trying to reach out to. She kept thanking the hell out of her training with Shiro and the other paladins, knowing she'd be dying on another floor if she had not gone through all those drills.

A few minutes ago, they had received the call from Kolivan's unit, warning them that the communication devices wouldn't work for a few minutes. She felt the dread spreading in her bones. She couldn't reach her friends with her powers and now she couldn't even reach them with that bloody thing in her ear anymore.

 _Great_.

"We're almost there, Cap."

Alan touched her elbow in a kind gesture, giving her back some energy and motivation. He only had one remaining sword, a slash on his cheek left a dried crimson line on his tanned and wrinkled skin. The man was old enough to be her grandfather and yet he kept climbing the stairs, never out of stamina.

Lucy didn't dare look behind. She didn't want to, knowing that if she did so, she wouldn't see anymore some of her unit's members' face.

Empire soldiers weren't the only one to fall on the battlefield.

Cosmo, Lo, Aria, and Hazel were alright. That much she knew – Jijii had told her so over the com earlier. But how about the others? How about Ash? Harry? Zamia? Elric? Katsa? Stergann? Makara? Farah? Aeris? How were they all holding on? She didn't want to think of the other possibility.

She closed her eyes, trying to get back her focus, to steady her breathing and calm down her heartbeats.

"Here it is," Alan shouted, destroying another four Galra sentries with his blade.

Her eyes shot open. Twenty daggers flew and found their aims right away. Lucy and her men burst into the room.

And stopped dead in their tracks.

Before them sat Zarkon, a thin line of blood coming down his lips. A dagger to his chest.

A strangled gasp escaped Lucy's lips. The dagger didn't belong to any of their men.

But she didn't have time to linger on her thoughts nor on her shock as another figure appeared out of nowhere in front of her and punched her in the stomach, knocking the air out of her lungs.

Another punch landed on her face, an uppercut crashed into her nose. Blood started to drip and she felt a sting on her hips. Out of habit and reflex that she had earned from her intense training the last few weeks and years, her feet gripped the ground and her hand fell on her daggers at her belt. She dashed forward and lashed at the giggling woman. Her skin was pink, her blue irises shining with mischief.

The stranger moved fast and kept disappearing under her eyes but Lucy, too, had tricks up her sleeves. If she couldn't become invisible just like her, she could read her mind and see where she was hiding. Penetrate her brain and make her see things. And unsee others.

She could.

But she didn't.

Her brain hurt too much, her lungs hurt too much, her thighs hurt too much.

Her eyes fell to her waist where dark blood was already staining and spreading on her suit. _That bitch._ A grunt escaped her lips as she put her hand to cover her wound. Her knees wobbling under her own weight.

A scream erupted on the other side of the room. Her head turned to the sound only to realise the scenery that was playing in her back. Most of her remaining men were on the ground, fighting against fighters that had appeared from their hiding spot. Full of energy, they were winning against them, who had already been fighting for hours now.

She took the blade in her boot and dashed forward, slaying an enemy off Alan's head. Fighting back to back, they were both panting, her hair falling in her eyes, as blood stained both their hands. She eyed at the door, still open a few feet away from them; she needed to get them out of here. But that was a lost cause. Never would she be able to do so. They were outnumbered.

"You need to go."

She blinked at Alan's words.

"What the hell are you saying?!"

"You need to get outa here and warn the others!"

"Like hell! I'm not leaving you! My job is to protect you, and not to flee as soon as things get awry!"

"Exactly. Your job is to save as many of us as possible. But war brings casualties, we all know that Captain. Right?"

It stung. How did he dare to throw her words back at her!

"Alan you're outnumbered I can't leave you!"

"Captain you _have_ to. You have to warn the others, you don't have any other choice. With the communication still down between everyone, you're the only one able to reach them. To tell them it's a trap! I still have one of Cosmo's shadow bomb. It'll leave you a few minutes ahead of them. We'll hold them back."

 _We_. If Alan really meant the three remaining soldiers on their feet...

"I won't use you as bait so I can flee, you jackass. Don't..."

She was cut off by the fog the bomb created as soon as it hit the ground. A white thick mist erupted in the room.

Alan had dropped it. She couldn't let him do this in vain.

Her waist hurting like hell, dragging her ankle, she ran for the exit.

She heard a gunshot in the distance and felt Alan's bridge snap in her mind.

She wanted to scream, but that would be giving them a lead.

Tears stung her eyes but she kept running. Her ragged breath being the only sound that echoed the corridors. Where were the others? She needed to warn them.

" _It's a trap, it's a trap, we fell into a trap!"_

Her mind kept shouting but everyone was out of range. No one could hear her warnings.

Surely they'd have realized something is wrong, right? No. Why would they? Everything apart from small details that were only coming back to her mind now was normal. Confirmation being Zarkon's corpse sitting on his throne.

No one else but her knew the truth. No one else alive.

She shoved away the panic that was starting to overwhelm her train of thought. With communication still down and the hundreds upon hundreds of corridors to cross before finding the others, she needed to hurry.

 _If only someone could try and reach out to me._ Feeling the tug of their mind would make everything easier.

Lucy kept running. Hoping to cross path with a familiar and friendly figure.

/

Allura grunted, shouting orders as another enemy squadrons fell under their shots. Voltron was still kicking, slaying the jets and attacking the fortress, destroying each of his canons one by one. The particle barrier wavered once more but did not shatter. The upgrades and fixing the castle had gone through on Olkarion were making a great difference. She heard cheers and smiled. Those coalition soldiers really made good snipers. Coran stood at his post with her, giving orders to the other unit inside the castle.

With all those people on board, able to occupy those defence posts, the castle was a strong and powerful enemy for the Galra. She smirked and fired once more, ignoring the headache that was pounding her head.

The battle had been going on for hours now and she was nearly drained of energy – but she couldn't falter. Not now.

She glimpsed at her screens where the small red dot was still flashing. Communication had been gone for twenty minutes now.

 _Still five to wait._

She hoped everything was going well for the others. Did the tables turn in the meantime?

She hated being left in such a blur.

/

Jijii cursed under her breath. With that explosion earlier she'd been separated from her team. Knocked unconscious, Merryn had teleported the both of them far from the explosion.

"No one must be on their own, am I clear?" Kolivan had told them when getting through the plan one last time this morning. _Morning_. It already felt like ages ago. "You always stay with your team. _Always_. We don't know what trap Zarkon could have set up. Our map of his ship is not perfect, things may have changed in the meantime. We've seen before how important to the course of a mission, one small detail can be."

 _Never be on your own, huh?_ How to fail rule number one in three seconds with Jijii. Everything was going so well but of course, it had to go wrong. Of-fucking-course.

 _Serves me well for that bolt of optimism earlier._

She had to join the other. She tried her headphone once more. No signal.

How long since Kolivan had told them they were going to shut down the system? How long did she stay unconscious? Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Was her headphone broken because of the blast? Questions. So many interrogations in her head. Jijii hated that. Especially in the middle of a battle when the freedom of the universe and the lives of her friend were at stake.

Dread suddenly filled her veins. What about her unit? Were they alright? Merryn had teleported them which could only be a sign of danger. Her body hadn't even had the time to hit the wall that Merryn had already zapped them out. What had the blast done to them? What if Galra soldiers had spotted them in their weakened state? Or worse...

So many questions and worries – again. Things she couldn't allow herself to think about. At a time like this, she couldn't allow herself to be overwhelmed by such train of thoughts.

 _Lucy_.

She had to find Lucy. Even if her friend probably wouldn't have all the answers, her presence would be enough to make things easier to handle. Lucy always knew what to do.

" _Where are you, Captain?"_ Jijii kept running and crushed all the galra soldier she met. She was tired and out of energy. Her lungs burned and her legs ached. She was out of ammo for a long time already and had dumped her guns earlier. Only small and weak sparks sputtered around her nails. Her black sword slashed the air one more time and she burst into another corridor.

She wouldn't be able to handle the rhythm for so long. Blood stained her hands. Both hers and her enemies'. Her friends' too, she realised as the memory of trying to cover Ash's wound hit her once more. It had been just before they split.

 _But she's alright. Ash is alright._ She kept convincing herself.

Even though she knew none of her friends could come out unscathed of this fight – if they came out at all – she didn't want to let her brain dwell on those dark thoughts. She slashed her sword, ducked and punched the galra in front of her, escaping the wave of heat Merryn had aimed at the soldiers. Burning them to ashes.

A bullet scratched her thighs, another sliced her cheek.

No longer held by her hood, her hair let loose dashed behind her head as she looked back on her left. She had not dreamed it. Lucy was here.

"Lucy!" Blood on her suit and face livid, Lucy was not in a much better state than her. "Lucy! Lucy, you're hurt!"

"We need to get out of here and warn the others! Hurry, it's a trap! Someone is here. Someone, just like at the prison, is here before us. And that someone killed Zarkon and is now after us. We need to go! We need to get out of here!"

Lucy had spoken fast, the impact of her words setting in Jijii's brain. Her headphone chose its time to come back to life, and she heard Allura's voice in her ear. She let a gasp of relief escape her lips.

"Allura? Allura, do you copy? Allura?"

"Jijii! Oh, thank the quiznak communication is back!"

Jijii heard the weariness in her voice. Even if Allura was still in the castle, the tension, the worry was having a toll on her as well. Without counting all the energy it took her to use the castle's strongest powers. And what she was about to announce her wasn't going to ease her task.

"We've got a code red! Code red! A new and unknown enemy has appeared. Abort the mission. I repeat, code red!"

"You need to get out of Zarkon's ship. Now! Voltron and the castle will cover you!"

No one would have expected his death not to be the bearer of good news. Quite the opposite. It was a far worse situation.

"I had a feeling something was off." _Kolivan_. And given the grunt in his voice, he too was badly injured. "Abort the mission, code red, everyone get back to the ship."

Hearing Jijii's, Allura's and Kolivan's orders, every soldier of the coalition remaining on board of the fortress rushed back to the hangar where their cruisers were hidden, a new kind of dread filling their bones.

The cruiser took off almost immediately. There was no time to spare.

Fighting off the Galra, they waited as much as they could before getting back to the castle, Voltron on their trail, protecting them from the shots of the remaining jet squadrons. As soon as the cruiser arrived near them, Allura used one last bit of energy and wormholed the castle, both cruisers and the altean robot following right after.

Allura ran and rushed to the hangar where the lions and the cruisers had now landed. She couldn't believe what Jijii had told her. She was drained of energy but she descended the stairs as fast as she could. When she finally arrived, her ragged breath coming in and out of her lungs loudly, they were already coming out of the ships. The paladins leading the worst damaged ones to the healing pods.

"Can someone attend to Lucy's wound as well? She's bleeding and close to passing out!"

Allura wiped her head towards the lieutenant. She had lots of questions and they needed to talk about the battle and this new enemy that had come out once again but the wellbeing of everyone came first, they needed to heal and close the wounds.

"Where is Lucy?" Aeris, Scarlet Kaida's third in command had been the one to raise the question, already attending to some of her friends' gash.

"Aeris are you blind?" Jijii chuckled, wiping out blood off her face with her shirt, "Lucy's right here."

"Jijii. There's no one by your side."

And indeed. No one was sitting next to Jijii on the bench. Allura wiped her head around to look for Scarlet Kaida's captain. Even if there weren't as many soldiers standing here as there had been nine hours ago, Allura couldn't spot the petite silhouette of the captain in the crowd.

Confusion spread on Jijii's feature as she turned her gaze back to the bench.

"What do you mean? She's right here..."

Silence fell on the group, realisation hitting them like a hammer blow. In the rush of battle, of escaping the battlefield, fear of not making it in time filing their veins, no one had looked up to see if their friends were here. The fear to already having to acknowledge their death taking over their senses. No one had looked for the captain.

A screech escaped the lieutenant's throat and she screamed the name of her friend.

 _My illusions will only crumble if my victim starts doubting. When their brain starts to consider the idea that something's up._

/

Lucy kept running. She didn't know where all that stamina was coming from but she knew the miracle wouldn't last for long. Her body was running on adrenaline and would give up soon. Plus, using such an amount of energy earlier to create her illusion hadn't helped her state at all.

She kept hoping it had worked. In the rush of battle, surely Jijii, who was probably running out of gas too, had not paid attention to the smaller details. And she would not have expected her to use her power on her. Hence, her brain should not doubt the reality it was presented with.

" _It will work. It will work."_ she kept repeating herself. Like a mantra, she focused on her words and kept running. Also making a side note of apologising to her friend. She heard Allura's sputtering voice in her headphone. The device kept crackling, definitely damaged; she could barely hear the voice of the Altean princess.

She ran faster as she heard the footsteps of the pink warrior getting closer. Her mind was even in reach now... Giggles and smiles. Colors and screams. Friends. Hatred.

And then everything went blank.

Lucy gasped, and came to a halt, barely registering the dead end in front of her.

Everything was blank. She couldn't feel anything. The tug of the stranger's mind was gone but so was everything else. Panic immediately bubbled in her throat.

The room. Everything had gone blank since she had stepped into that new room.

 _Silence is the scariest noise._

She turned back, wanting to leave but her legs froze as she saw the woman's grinning at the entrance, the other colossus with the fluffy pink ears behind her. Three other soldiers had joined them, all wearing the same armour.

She felt like a mouse in front of cats, already licking their lips hungrily and ready to jump at any moment. A sheep in front of a wolf pack, waiting for the Alpha to strike first.

She was paralysed. Frozen on the spot, she couldn't move – she could barely breathe, her brain screaming over and over at the silence in her mind.

 _Silence is the scariest noise._

She felt another presence behind her back and her red alert blazed even harder, her inner instincts pleading her to flee.

"Hello, darling. Long time no see."

 _No. No. That couldn't be. Not him. Not him._

Tears pricked at her eyes.

And yet, here he was with his long white hair, his unusual pointy purple ears and his piercing yellow eyes. His lips turned into a thin smirk.

 _Lotor_.

She greeted her teeth, her hand going for the dagger at her belt. But the woman was right behind her and knocked her unconscious. Her blade fell at her side.

 _Silence is the scariest noise._

*drops this end of chapter and all the content and leaves, laughing like the true devil she is* MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

(omg i hope you have so many questions in your head rn and that your screaming and just hate me for this lol - reader screams always bring me life hehe)


	8. Broken promises

It is finally here! Sorry for the wait! between exams and then the holidays and my birthday i didn't have as much time to write anymore (i was dying to write duting that exam week omg THANK YOU JIJII FOR YOUR MORAL SUPPORT DUTING THAT HARD TIME - i mean space pirates and angst are so much more interesting than law, economy and management i can assure you!) PLUS? I NO LONGER HAD MY LAPTOP T_T But now it is back from repair and everything is fine.

Anyways! The real plot is starting now! I think I've told you already that what happened in the previous chap and what is going to happen in this one were meant for the second and thord chapter! "the day we almost defeated the empire" was supposed to be chapter 2's title. It is only because of the idea i had to wrote a mission between BOM/SK before dday that all those added plot happened. can you imagine SK without Sammy or Deandra? nope. me neither :)

I'm happy to be back here! (don't think it's because i didn't post a chap it means i didn't write at all. nope! i wrote a little everyday so i could give you the chap as soon as i could!

And for those who don't follow me on insta - little_dragon_writes - i wrote 43 117 words in 2017 (aka from august to december), 15 013 of those words were written in december and i wrote 34 861 words for SK since its birth on 19.08.17 and i'm so proud of how this little silly project turned out! there's still a long way to go before its finished but i really am proud if me so far and i hope you'll keep enjoying the chapters! hopefuly i'll bring some of you to tears soon! 3

LOVE YOU AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 **Broken promises**

Aria's footsteps resonated on the castle's ramp. Cosmo, Hazel and Lo were by her side, their pace as huried as hers. They had accomplished their mission and they were proud of it. They were alive and breathing and, even if her arm was probably broken and if her friends shared some injuries themselves, it wasn't really serious.

And yet, Aria couldn't help but worry.

It was her job, her duty – spymaster as she was – to overthink, to analyse everything. Every possibility. Every threat.

 _I have faith in your instinct, Aria Celeste. And you shall now become my eyes and my ears. Our shadow. Welcome on board of my ship!_

And right now, her instinct was telling her something was wrong. The castle has landed on the planet a minute ago – it'd been chosen weeks ago for it was the perfect meeting point for the people about to overthrow the Empire.

But they had arrived earlier than expected.

Aria was delighted to see her crew mates again but, much like everyone else, she dreaded not to see anymore some familiar face. Deandra's dead features still haunted her dreams. She didn't know how she was going to handle the new loss.

Going to war was one thing. But coming back from the battlefield was another hardship.

No longer having the adrenaline rushing down your veins, the rush of the mission, enemies surrounding you. Defeat. Protect. Shield your friends. Defend and hold your ground. Simple orders you needed to follow on the battlefield in order to survive.

But when you come back? Straight back to reality. This bitch leaves you alone in that mess. Trying to figure out how to move on and keep going when the pillars that kept you grounded until now had crumbled. Crushed to pieces.

How many friends did they lose today during their mission to attack the bases? The Central command?

 _Too many._

The answer was always the same cruel one.

Aria hurried her steps. She couldn't shake that feeling off her chest. It was rising up in her, driving her crazy. She needed to know.

She turned the last corner and stared at everyone. She had not expected them to still be in the hangar. There were lots of people but she knew in one glance that there was less than before. None of them were badly injured so she concluded that some were already in the infirmary or in the altean healing pods. She herself would need some time in one of those to heal her broken arm and the different gash on her arms and legs – but that could wait.

Aria's feeling grew heavier when she saw them. They were not cheering. Not happy. Not smiling. They were not wearing the faces of people who had just won a war that had been lasting for the last ten thousand years.

They were in a deep state of shock and silence was only broken by the muffled sound of grunts and whimpers as someone tried to move.

 _Probably broken ribs by the sound of their breath._

As she kept searching the crowd, Aria spotted more and more missing faces.

 _Maybe they are in the infirmary. There's still a chance…_

But she knew the infirmary couldn't hold so many wounded.

 _War brings casualties Aria, we all know that._

Sadness filled her veins and she suddenly whipped her head around her. Another face was missing. One with bright chocolate eyes and a warm reassuring smile, with a braid looped around her neck like Kolivan had shown her.

"Where's Lucy?"

"Knowing her she's probably checking on the others or with Merryn somewhere." Hazel answered next to her, looking fondly at Steve who jumped from his spot on her shoulder and started to run between the people sitting in the hangar.

But Merryn was there. And so was Jijii. Both looked as disoriented as ever. Aria had never seen her lieutenant like that. It was as if colours had been drained from her face. Her eyes were wide with shock, one hand resting on a nearby wall. Aria's dread grew even stronger.

Her friends at her side were starting to feel the same too as they looked through the crowd. There was only one thing that could explain such distraught states: something had happened. Something involving Lucy.

"Where's the captain? Where's Luce?" Her voice came out in a higher pitch, fear overwhelming her tone as she realized what their state could imply.

"Scarlet's gone."

Aria whipped her head once more towards the Blade soldier who had spoken, shoulder obviously dislocated and blood on his face, keeping one of his eyes closed. Stained bandages on his arms and forehead. His dagger still gripped between his fingers.

Post battle shock. Muscle and brain too tired to unlock the grip your hand had on your weapon.

"Come again?"

"Scarlet is gone." He insisted.

Scarlet. The Blade's codename for Lucy.

A strangled scream escaped Lo's lips and she fell on her knees, hands covering her mouth. Tears were already sliding down Hazel's cheeks. Unable to believe and process the news, Cosmo stood there, his eyes staring into the emptiness.

The empty feeling. Her instinct telling her something was wrong. That something felt off.

Aria wanted to scream. Why hadn't she realized it earlier? In time like this, Lucy would have welcomed them with a warm embrace or a protective and reassuring thought in their minds. A "welcome back" whispered like a ray of sunlight into their brains.

But she was not here. And the usual feeling in the back of her mind, when Lucy's power was in reach, wasn't there either.

At the other side of the room, Merryn whined and barked, looking for her master. How would she come to understand Lucy wouldn't be there to cuddle and pet her anymore?

At Merryn's sight, Cosmo, who still hadn't make a move since the soldier had spoken, seemed to come back to life.

Aria looked at her best friend. He was livid, his face falling with each of Merryn's cry. Aria's heart broke even more. Three weeks ago they lost Deandra, and now Lucy? Deandra was their best friend and she meant a lot to the rest of the crew. It was always a hard blow losing a member of your family. Even if you weren't close.

But Lucy… Lucy was their captain, she had saved many of them. She was the family some had never had, a new one to those who had lost it because of the war. She was a hand to hold onto, an embrace, their sun on the bleak horizon. Scarlet Kaida and her, what they represented, meant everything to them.

And if Lucy meant so much to the crew, she meant even more to Cosmo and Jijii.

Aria knew that. She knew Lucy had been the one to free them from the dreadful place they were kept in. The three of them shared a powerful bond. Hell, Scarlet Kaida was born because of them.

The three of them had stick together ever since. And in the blink of an eye, in the span of a few days, Cosmo had lost two of the most precious persons to his heart.

Lucy had told Aria many times that he was getting better. That one day, he would speak again. That it was an habit now. That it was easier for him to sign. That he was singing in her head more than she thought and that one day Aria too would be able to hear his voice.

It was as if, in one instant, all of her captain's effort had vanished.

Cosmo was broken all over again.

Aria saw in his eyes the look she had seen too many times in her mirror. Denial, shock, grief, pain, anger and sadness burned and battled in his green eyes. If previous traumas weren't keeping him from speaking, Aria knew he'd be shouting and yelling. Anything to reject those overflowing feelings.

People handled differently the loss of someone dear. She had witnessed it many time during her time on Scarlet Kaida. People like her would cry all day long, unable to move or think of anything else, the grief never fading away. People like Lucy would bottle it up until the dam broke. People like Cosmo weren't overwhelmed by death and grief but with the anger that came with it. After Deandra's death, Cosmo had already closed on himself, almost shutting himself from the world if not for her and Lucy's presence at his side. Aria feared what could happen this time.

Cosmo walked towards Merryn and sat next to her. She stopped as soon as she saw him, the fire burning on her fur dying instantly. She sat in front of him, her head in front of his. Merryn whined, her growl echoing throughout the hangar. Flames licked her fangs.

Cosmo didn't seem to mind and extended his arm. Merryn put her head on his hands and he rested his own on her forehead. A soothing gesture. Something between them. Something older than the pain and distraught that she was feeling.

Her breathing came back to normal and she huffed, dark smoke escaping her lips. The fire on her tail vanished.

Cosmo had calmed her down – the crew often forgot that Cosmo had raised Merryn too.

Aria started to breathe again. The tension in the room was suffocating and the atmosphere barely bearable. Everyone dealing with the news their own way. Aria felt the anger of her men behind her. They, too, had been away from the action. They wanted answers.

How was it possible? She couldn't be dead! She was their captain! She was supposed to live through this. No one had thought of her death being a possible outcome of the situation. Their leader simply couldn't be gone! How could their friends, who were there, by her side, have possibly let this happen?!

Those questions blossomed in Aria's mind too, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

 _How could they let her die? How? How? How?!_

"Lucy isn't dead."

Aria startled and detached her gaze from her friend and the hound. Jijii had been the one to speak. Her gaze still focused on the same spot on the ground since Aria had first spotted her. Her knuckles were white, sparks sputtering around her nails.

"Teerah, this is no use. Your captain's gone. You saw it yourself, Scarlet is not here. Lucy is _gone_."

"Who are you to tell me this? You're a soldier of the Blade. You don't know her like I do."

"You keep claiming you knew her and yet she tricked you and you fell for it hook, line and sinker. What a friend. How could you not realize it? That it wasn't her since you were _so_ close?"

Aria gasped. So that was it.

An illusion.

She couldn't believe it herself. How could Lucy use her powers on Jijii? Her lieutenant and friend who meant so much to her heart? What could have possibly led her to that decision?

The wounded soldier spoke again, his chest rising painfully as he tried to settle against the wall, not bothered once by the hard and cold glare Jijii was giving him. Her anger rose in her like magma in a volcano. She was going to lash at him if he didn't stop. Aria discreetly got closer to her.

 _Just in case._

"Her whole unit is missing from this ship! They are gone. All of them..."

Aria wondered, when hearing the quiver in the soldier's voice, if post battle shock was the only reason why his fingers were still clinging to his blade. A parent, a mate, a child, a friend may have been part of Lucy's unit after all.

"No body, no proof." Jijii bit back.

At her blunt statement, Cosmo bolted from his spot near Merryn and lunged for her throat. JIjii let him pin her to the wall, his elbow pushing dangerously against her trachea.

"Cosmo! Cosmo stop!"

If Cosmo was the anger grieving type, Aria knew Jijii was one of the worse.

Shutting down. Masks. Accepting the blame even when it wasn't hers to bear. In one word, she was a far worse version of her daily self.

Anger boiled inside him. How could she say that? How could she play around with such news. How dare she? How could she? How could she be so heartless and selfish?

 _Lucy is dead._

 _Lucy is_ ** _dead_** _._

The statement kept hammering in his head, flooding his brain, drowning his thoughts. How could this be real? How could she be gone?

Yesterday she was here, standing on Scarlet's Kaida deck, saying goodbye to them and wishing them good luck for their own mission.

"Don't forget to come home" she had said before their departure, sun slowly rising behind her, catching the red highlights of her hair. Like this, they had looked like burning coal.

Anger boiled inside him.

 _That statement worked for her too!_

It was a dangerous mission. He knew that, they all did. But they had always come back.

 _She_ always came back.

She had the crew, she had Merryn, she had Jijii, she had his weapons, she had her powers.

 _Lucy_ always came back home.

Cosmo felt the familiar twist in his stomach. Jijii was still here. Most of them were still here. Many had died. But how could Lucy be on that second list? How could she be dead?

 _How? How? How?!_

Anger boiled inside him. His elbow dived deeper in her throat as tears stung his eyes. Her blank stare looked back at him. He clenched his teeth. He hated seeing that look in her eyes, the unreadable one, the cold and blank stare. It upset him even more today. How could she act like this? Lucy had been a sister to her and no emotion could be seen on her face.

She was back to the selfish heartless monster she had been when they first met. Feeling no shame in playing with everyone's feelings. Bringing more pain to their hearts.

Cosmo felt Aria's arms gripping him from behind, taking him away from Jijii.

His hands moved anyway, faster than usual, blurrier. Harder to follow. Many would be lost, but Cosmo knew Jijii wouldn't. She had been here, as well as Lucy, when he was getting used to that new language. Of course she'd pick up.

"I don't care Cosmo. I don't care what all your stupid asses are believing. I don't care because you are all so fucking wrong!"

"Jijii. Stop. Please." Lo had rose from the ground, her voice wretched and husky with the tears she had shed. "Denial will only make things worse."

"You need to accept the truth. Believe me, I know. I felt the same when Deandra died. You need to let go…"

"Oh I can assure you _I know_ what it feels like to lose someone. Let go of your emotions all you want Aria, but Lucy is _not_ dead. And you all are so stupid to believe it. And I am disgusted to see how easily you give up on her."

Jijii had spoken through her teeth. Glaring at them as more flames had risen from her palm.

"Lucy may not be here," she added, "and I don't know _where_ she is, but she is alive. And this bracelet on my wrist or that spaceship next to the castle? They wouldn't be here if Lucy was dead. They wouldn't be real anymore." She paused, taking back her breath and went on more peacefully.

"Her magic is still here. It still affects us. So, no; I won't let go. Because believe whatever the fuck you want, but Lucy is _not_ dead."

A blank. Everyone stared at the lieutenant.

At first hurt by her speech. Her denial affecting them, rubbing salt into the wound. By refusing her death she was keeping them from dealing with their own feelings. But now they realised what she meant, the point she had.

Lucy's magic was still here.

Lucy was alive somewhere.

And they needed to find her.

/

Lucy regained consciousness on the hard floor. She tried to open her eyes but closed them immediately, the blazing light being unbearable. Her head was pounding.

What the hell had happened to her? Where was she?

A yelp escaped her lips as she tried to sat back. Pain burst through her thigh and her eyes shot open, her hand going down to cover the bandages.

Healed enough for her to survive but not enough for her not to feel pain anymore.

 _Galra methods._

A shudder ran through her spine with the realisation _._ Memories came back to her in different flash.

D-Day. The battle. Someone appearing out of nowhere and punching her. Blood on her hips. Alan's sacrifice so she could flee. Her illusions.

Alan was dead.

She had used her illusions on Jijii.

Why did she do it?

What if it didn't work?

 _Lotor._

Terror overwhelmed her.

Lotor had been there.

One of his soldier had been the one to stab her.

She was in a Galra cell.

She was once again a prisoner of the Empire, and Lotor was once more her jailer.

Panic raised inside her. She could handle many things. She could go on the battlefield and defeat all the enemies the universe would throw at her in order to protect her crew. She could invade any fortresses. Do anything and everything for them.

Defeating the demons of others was so much easier. She had done it many times. Cosmo's. Hazel's. Aria's. Jijii's. Merryn's. Aeris'.

She would do it over and over again if only it meant running from her own. She was such a hypocrite, teaching them techniques and whispering soothing words, when she herself couldn't face her own nightmares. Aeris. Merryn. Hazel. Aria. Cosmo. Jijii. Where were they? We're they alive? What if they were prisoners too? What if her attempt at warning them had failed? What if Alan and the rest of the group had sacrificed themselves for nothing?

No.

They weren't prisoners. She'd feel them if they were.

No.

She wouldn't. She couldn't hear anything.

 _There's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing!_

Nothing but her own thoughts and screams as she fell back on the floor.

Prostrated and hugging her knees, she swing back and forth, fighting back the nightmares that burst through her brain.

She could still see the light between her closed eyelids. She hated it. She wanted it to stop. For someone to turn it off. She didn't want to be in plain sight. She wanted to hide. Hide in the safety of the darkness.

But the white light kept burning bright in the small windowless room. Left alone, her own mind was her worst enemy.

 _Please. Come back for me. Please._

"They won't."

Even with her unusual harsh tone, Lucy could recognise that voice anywhere.

"Andry? Andry is that you?" She dried her tears in a hurry.

Deandra was standing there in the room, her pink skin standing out against the white tiles covering the walls.

"They won't come for you. They will let you rot in here."

"No..." Dread overwhelmed her voice once more. They wouldn't do that right? They wouldn't leave her. No they wouldn't. But then, how could they even find her? If they were still alive - that big if still send shivers down her spine - how could they even find her? She herself didn't know where she was and she had believed Lotor dead for years. He hadn't showed up until now? In six years. Surely he knew how to hide.

"They will abandon you just like you abandoned me."

"No…"

"Our lives don't matter to you, why would yours matter?"

Lucy whipped her head when she heard Alan's voice next to her.

"Alan…"

"You easily give up on us. You only care about saving your ass!"

"That's not true! No. No... I didn't…"

"You are a _monster_."

Lucy's voice broke with another sob when she saw the third person approaching her, his little boy hands covered in dark blood.

« Sammy... Not you too... »

She couldn't breathe anymore. Her back hit the wall. She couldn't escape. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. Sammy's face was disfigured with hatred. It burned in their eyes.

 _No. No. No. No!_

"Sammy, stop."

Deandra came closer, towering over her shivering self. Lucy couldn't think straight anymore. Fear and panic had completely taken over her nerves. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. Her breath came out in erratic pant.

"Please... Stop."

"You're a monster."

Deandra's colours had faded, her lips blue like in the dreams that had haunt her for the past weeks. A hole had appeared on Alan's breastplate. Blood stained his damaged suit and face. Sammy was wearing a Marmora suit, dark blood staining his hands. Drops dropped on the floor.

She reached for his face but he rejected her. The spark he always had in his eyes was gone, replaced by a hard and cold stare.

Not a child's. An adult's. An assassin's.

Hers.

"This is all your fault."

A horrified scream escaped her lips. She had swore to protect him. She had kept him from any danger, he couldn't have blood on his innocent hands.

He couldn't. He couldn't have killed. He couldn't.

"We aren't family to you." Deandra's voice was harsh.

"We are human shields. Cannon fodder." Alan's voice was cold.

"You're a monster." Sammy's voice was heartless.

Lucy kept screaming and weeping. Curled up on herself, she shut her eyes tighter, begging for the ghosts of her nightmares to leave her alone.

A hand fell on her shoulder, warm fingers achingly familiar.

"Jijii!"

"You need to breathe. Calm down, in through the nose... out through the mouth..."

Something was wrong with Jijii. She looked younger. Her hair was shorter and her face pale as if she had not seen the sunlight in ages. She had dark bags under her eyes and fresh scars on her skin.

 _Just like years ago..._

And to confirm her thoughts, Lucy realised that the room had changed. She wasn't in the bright light of her cell anymore, but in a dark and humid one. The smell of sweat and dried blood filling her nose.

She wanted to puke. A missing scar on her left wrist and Lucy knew she was in a memory.

Her heartbeat accelerated.

She didn't want to live that again.

 _No way. No, please no._

Jijii's hands cupped her face.

"Don't worry, I won't let them take you. I promise. Focus on your breathing. Focus on something else. Think of something good. Don't let those gloomy walls get you down."

The scenery changed once more. She wasn't in a cell anymore. She was free and the atlantan suns shined bright above her head. Soft grass tickled her bare feet. Proudly holding her daisy bracelets, she looked back at her parents.

Blue birds, her favourites, flew in the sky, singing to each other, diving between the trees.

Her parents were sitting in the grass a few feet away from her, taking out the victuals for their weekly ritual: a picnic in the nearby forest. The small splashing sound of the waterfall nearby echoed within the woods.

Propped by different pillows her dad had set up, her mom was looking at her, cautiously watching her every movements.

Lucy looked at her tiny chubby hands – she couldn't be older than three years old. How was she even able to remember this?

She ran to her mother and offered the treasures she had found. Acorns and shiny stones, pretty wild flowers. She stared at her mother's round belly.

"Mom? Do you think they will like me? What if they don't? You think I'll be a good sister?"

Her mother chuckled, her warm smile spreading on her lips as she she took her closer.

"Of course they'll love you, darling."

"Will I have to share my waffles?"

"Daddy will make even more waffles for his sweethearts!" She giggled as her dad suddenly took her in his arms. The breeze ruffled her hair and for one small instant she felt like one of the blue birds. Awe sparkled in her eyes.

When her feet hit the ground once again she didn't feel the warm grass under her feet. The scenery had changed once again and she was in her family's house. The living room was bathed in moonlight, stars shining high in the dark sky.

"Dad?"

"Yes, dear?"

"What are soulmates? Anna said that with her powers she could see the soulmate bonds."

"It's a nice power that she got here." He paused, taking his daughter on his knees. "Soulmates are people with whom you share a strong bond. You are linked to them. Your magic is stronger by their side. You'd do anything for them and they do anything for you. And the stronger the bond is, the harder it becomes to be away from them."

"Is mama your soulmate?"

"Yes, she is. And so are you."

"Me? We can have many mates?"

"Yes, of course there's different kinds of bonds. Between lovers, siblings, parents, friends... Multiple soulmates! Romantic or platonic? The only thing that matters is the bond that you share."

"Are Anna and I soulmates? She's awesome! And it's always easier when we're together. We're a good team."

"Maybe she is then."

"That's so cool!" She jumped in her dad's arms.

Wood cracked in the chimney. Her heart skipped a beat.

When she opened her eyes again her father was gone and so was the house.

She stood in Scarlet Kaida's main room and fire licked every walls.

/

Lotor looked and smirked at the screens.

How long has she been in there?"

"Twelve minutes, sir."

"Good, very good. I didn't expect it to be so efficient."

"The stones really worked well. They nullify her powers and amplify ours."

His prisoner kept screaming in her cell. Begging for it to stop. Curled up in a corner of her cell she kept sobbing and hugging her knees. He wondered which nightmares and ghosts were haunting her, over and over again.

"Move on to phase three."

Time had come. The little butterfly had fly free for long enough and he wouldn't let her go this time.

And he wasn't one to break promises.

A smirk tugged at his lips; he was finally going to win the battle. Patience and meticulous plan had led him here and he was a few step away from reaching his goals.


	9. Remember

IT IS FINALLY HERE! After nearly two weeks... I'm so sorry. for those who follow me on insta you know i've been the victim of a weird writing block that convinced in was stuck when in fact i wasn't because i managed to start chapter 9 yesterday and boom it's 11pm and chapter's done. in less than 2 days i wrote a chap! BOOM Anyways. there's planned angst and unplanned angst, badass characters and broken hopes. everything to make a good chapter 3 Enjoy!

Lucy's ragged breath escaped her lips, and tears shone at the corner of her eyes because of the smoke. She coughed and coughed once more. Her lungs hurt and fear and panic were ready to take over her nerves.

But she didn't let them win.

Just like she wouldn't let that dream win once again. She felt like she had already seen it a hundred times. Her voice was sore with her screaming and the burns on her arms didn't even hurt that much anymore.

She had seen it a hundred times: the main room on fire, the ceiling falling… Wood whining and pictures burning. The dark smoke filling the room and the cry of the walls meddling with the one of her crew trapped on the other side of the ship.

She had seen it a hundred times.

She wouldn't let the fire win.

She wouldn't.

Not this time.

Not again.

It was her job to protect her crew. She couldn't let them down. What they thought of her didn't matter. It didn't matter if they thought she was a monster. They had all the rights and reasons to think so, but she couldn't let them down.

Not again.

Not this time.

Not ever.

She couldn't fail.

But no matter how many times she would say that, the scenery never changed. She had seen it a hundred times. She knew what was coming. In a matter of seconds the fire would reach the kitchen and everything would blow up. It was no use. She was useless.

Jijii was the one with fire powers after all...

Her vision blurred and the growl of the explosion hit her ears. She closed her eyes and let the tears slid down her cheeks. When she opened them again, she was back in her cell and she threw up right away, swearing she could still feel the blast of the detonation.

She was out of breath. How long would she be able to handle it? How long would it take for her mind to break?

She let her head rest on the wall behind her and chuckled. The same questions were probably going through Lotor's brain.

But she couldn't let him win. She couldn't give him what he wanted.

That would be failing them. Failing herself. And she couldn't let that happen.

She couldn't.

So when she felt the pounding in her head and the twist in her stomach once again, she took a deep breath and let the vision take over her mind once more. Her fingers clung around the locket around her neck. Clung to the memories that had kept her grounded up until now.

It didn't matter if she were to fail a hundred times. She only needed to win once.

Run faster. Don't falter. Be stronger.

/

Jijii felt the fire building inside her. If that weird bear of a woman and her fellow green furred friend didn't stop their bullshit _right now_ , she was going to lash at them and pin their head to the wall. Or maybe she could skewer their heads on her sword? She hadn't settled on an idea yet. Plus it was common knowledge that black and green looked perfect together.

Aeris, the Altean princess, Coran, Shiro and herself sat in one of Scarlet Kaida's meeting room. In front of them, two members of the Coalition went on and on, on the fact that this meeting was useless and that they had traveled all this way for nothing.

She recognised the two females from an old meeting they had host on Scarlet Kaida once. At least, that time Kolivan had been there to shut them up... His towering height and his strong arms could be quite convincing sometimes. Sadly, the Blade's leader hadn't been able to join them today as he had had another meeting to attend to at the other side of the galaxy nonetheless.

There was a reason why she wasn't Scarlet Kaida's captain – aside from the fact that Lucy was already doing an amazing job and she had no reason to take her place. She wasn't of the diplomatic type and patience and herself weren't quite the good friends. Once, she had been made for the job but now years had gone by and her patience had blunt like an overused blade.

In times like this, Lucy would have been at her side and Lucy would have been the one having the conversation with that greeny bitch. But it wasn't a usual meeting and Lucy wasn't the one leading the conversation. Instead, she was the subject of it.

"Zarkon's dead, no? Isn't it enough of good news to you?" Her high pitched tone was unbearable. Jijii was amazed of her own self control at the moment.

"You really have to make up a new enemy? Really? We know you pirates are known for your love of blood and battle... but come on, you're going a bit too far," her friend went on. "Central Command's been destroyed, Zarkon is dead and we won the biggest of the battle and freed billions of people in the process. End of the story."

As if one green stupid bitch wasn't enough. No she had to deal with _two_ of them!

"There's no trace left of Central Command. You don't know what happened. You _weren't_ there."

"Oh, we know what happened. Zarkon's been killed. His ship has been destroyed and your friend has been killed as well. And that's sad really but…"

"Lucy hasn't been killed," Jijii cut her short, gritting her teeth. "And if any of you ever say that again I'm going to pin your Grinch heads to the wall."

" _Jijii_."

Aeris had been the one to speak. A firm and calming hand on Jijii's shoulder. Keeping her from doing something she'd regret later – even though right now, she wanted one and only thing and that was to smash some sense into their oyster brains.

"They _didn't_ kill her!"

"But they might as well did. Like you said Central Command is gone. And so is your captain, Lieutenant."

"Captain." The two green women tilted their heads in sync to stare at Aeris. "During Lucy Fair's absence, Julie Teerah Eterna is our captain. So be more respectful, please."

The cold undertone of Aeris' voice made the two female quiver. Aeris rarely ever yelled, but the two Coalition representatives on the table knew better than to test Aeris' calm nature. Her emotionless features were like the calm before the storm.

Jijii grumbled. _Captain_. As if she wanted this.

"Like I said, Lucy isn't dead and I'm not making things up. We weren't the one to kill Zarkon just like we weren't the one to blow up Central Command. And if Lucy was dead, the chair you're sitting on and many other things on board of this ship would be gone too. I understand that you prefer denying those facts than acknowledging that the war isn't over and that an unknown enemy has come out of their cave, but denial and carelessness is what put Zarkon on his throne in the first place! I won't let that newcomer have their chance either."

"It's been a week already, _captain_. If a new enemy had rose like you said, I think we'd know."

"I'm done," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I've heard enough of your bullshit for the day."

Jijii's chair scratched the floor and when she called her, Merryn came to her side and the both of them disappeared in a familiar swirl of black shadows.

Jijii gasped when she opened her eyes again and smell the familiar perfume in her nose. Out of habit Merryn had teleported them to Lucy's cabin.

Everything in Lucy's room screamed it was hers. The hues of blues on the walls, the stacks of books on the shelves, the piles of blankets on the bed, the plushies here and there – from dragons to the first tries of the Merryn ones. Her pens organised in different pencil pots on the wall next to book quotes, children drawings, pictures and other sticky notes.

Lucy had always love writing. Even with the different computers on board, she could never abandon the feeling of ink on paper. How smooth it felt and how relaxing it was for her to take her fountain pen and put down her feelings.

Jijii felt her stomach twist. It was just as if Lucy had just left and would be coming back any minute. The unmade bed, an unfinished letter on the desk, eraser leftovers, the open book on the nightstand. Her favourite song left on repeat.

But seven missed calls displayed on the computer's screen.

Her breath was suddenly knocked out of her lungs. A _week_ had gone by.

Tomorrow was Lucy's birthday.

Her twentieth – the most important one.

In regards of the Atlantean law, she was going to be an adult. If they had been on their planet, the ceremony would have been celebrated with her family and friends. With all of the village, even. She'd have put on a magnificent dress and her skin would have been covered in ephemeral tattoos. The red and white patterns embodying the different elements, linking her to the earth, the sky and the stars. To her past, present and future. To her ancestors and her descendants. She'd have danced all night and relished on the different cakes and meals made for the occasion.

She'd have been surrounded by the persons she loves. She'd have been the happiest person alive, constellations shining bright above her head.

Jijii felt her legs wobble under her.

Wherever Lucy was, Jijii bet the stars weren't in her eyes. Wherever Lucy was, she wasn't free. Wherever Lucy was, she was alone.

Her fire escaped her control and burst out of her palms, dangerously licking her arms and leaving ugly blisters on her skin.

The world spinned around her and she collapsed, hitting the desk in her fall.

The speaker fell on the ground and the music died instantly.

 _Music_.

Hearing the silence was just as painful as acknowledging Lucy's disappearance. Scarlet Kaida was never silent. Lucy couldn't handle it. Jijii didn't know where it came from, but true silence would froze Lucy on spot. Fear over taking her common sense. Her own kind of posttraumatic stress. She couldn't control it. And therefore, she always surrounded herself with sound, with music, with people. She would cherrich that life surrounding her.

If they all healed their broken minds thanks to her, Scarlet Kaida was just as much as important to Lucy's heart and health.

A week had gone by and all the feelings she had ignored up until now suddenly crashed on her shoulders. One simple sentence had managed to widen the cracks and break through the wall. The dam had broke.

The knot around her neck untied itself and her cape plummeted to the ground. Her fingers tightened around the red fabric as she caught it again.

How unfair was the world if even her own clothes reminded her of her missing friend?

She could still recall that sunny day. Careless and light hearted, they had end up at a market place. Lucy had bought her amethyst dagger and Cosmo had followed after, buying his set of swords. How pretty they had been, shining under the afternoon's sunlight. A few hours later, Lucy had spot the cape and its crimson colour in the shopping window. She had dragged Jijii towards it, begging the woman to wait for Jijii to try it on before closing her shop for the day. The cloak fit perfectly and Jijii had twirled, loving its feeling on her arms. She bought it right away. That night they had enjoy the sunset and the three of them had slept in the open, Merryn keeping them warm.

Jijii clutched the fabric against her heart, and tilted her head back against the bed. Her head resting on top of the mattress, she stared at the ceiling and battled against herself to shove the tears away. There was no need to cry. She couldn't cry Lucy, not yet. She couldn't. That would be failing her. Failing the crew that now counted on her to lead them through the new storm.

Jijii wasn't a leader. She wasn't the guide everyone expected her to be. But she'd do anything to bring everyone home. Lucy the first.

Her eyes caught once more the book on the nightstand and she grabbed it. Feeling under her fingers the binding embossed leather.

It was an old poetry book. One of Lucy's favourite considering the dog eared pages and different annotations here and there. She flipped through the pages and stopped where the bookmark was. The poem was written in one of the Earth languages Ash, Natsilane and Tori had taught them. A certain Christina Rossetti had wrote it back in 1862.

By the time Jijii was done reading the words, her shoulders were convulsing with her sobs.

 _Remember me when I am gone away,_

 _Gone far away into the silent land;_

 _When you can no more hold me by the hand,_

 _Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay._

 _Remember me when no more day by day_

 _You tell me of our future that you plann'd:_

 _Only remember me; you understand_

 _It will be late to counsel then or pray._

 _Yet if you should forget me for a while_

 _And afterwards remember, do not grieve:_

 _For if the darkness and corruption leave_

 _A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,_

 _Better by far you should forget and smile_

 _Than that you should remember and be sad._

/

The two representatives were left speechless.

Was that how they had looked like when they first saw Merryn teleport? Shiro wondered. He sighed and glanced at Allura before exiting the room and going after Jijii. He had to admit he was thankful he was able to leave that room and let the others handle the two female's tantrum. Shiro guessed they were good rulers or strategists if they had come that far in the Coalition's hierarchy - and if they were still alive - but really? If Jijii hadn't done it, he'd have been the one to leave. The two were just unbearable.

Now. Where had gone the lieutenant?

No. _Captain_. Shiro mentally corrected himself. If those two whingers had state one truth it was that Lucy wasn't there anymore. And the impact of her disappearance could be felt on the ship. On her crew. Even with Jijii's words the other day, the hope and strength that had shone in their eyes had worn off. After an entire week without news, the small candle flame had been blown.

It had only been a week but at times like this, a week was a very long amount of time. Zarkon was gone. Many of his headquarters had been conquered and the war should have been over. They should be cheering and partying and were left instead with grief, broken hopes, tired eyes and worn out bodies.

Shiro had seen for himself the power of Lucy and how realistic her illusion had felt in his mind. He couldn't possibly imagine the pain Jijii must have felt when she had realised the cruel truth. When the paladins had joined the others back in the castle, they'd been welcome by her heart wrenching screams.

Lucy had used her powers on Jijii.

And Lucy had told Jijii that someone else was there.

Shiro had seen how close the two were, how strong their bond was. Lucy would never have tricked her best friend if she didn't have any other choice. Lucy had seen something, seen someone, that had pushed her to cross the line.

What could be worse than Zarkon? What new threat could that be?

Shiro liked as much as Jijii the idea of being left in the unknown.

It didn't took him long to find the woman's location as shattering sound came out of the captain's cabin. When Shiro creaked the door open and saw the young woman silhouette on the ground, he reconsidered bothering her with the matter of the meeting and how it was needed for her to come back.

Julie Teerah Eterna was, much like himself, a person with different masks. And he knew that now was definitely not the time to barge into the room. She had shattered completely. A word had probably triggered her memory and Shiro knew how important it was for her to stay alone at that moment. To rebuild herself up and put the puzzle pieces back together. To stand back on her own two feet and be ready to face everything again.

It wasn't out of pity that Shiro closed the door again, but out of respect.

As he did so, his eyes went wide. Usually covered by the hood of her cloak, the young woman's neck was exposed and he saw the familiar black design on the bare skin of her neck.

Coming to think of it, that day in the training room, it had seemed to him that he had spot a similar pattern on the young captain's neck too.

And that could only mean one thing...

Jijii and Lucy had been in the arena.

/

Jijii swallowed back her tears. She couldn't cry. She had shed her last tears when her family had been ripped apart, taken away from her. Innocents killed by the Empire. After failing to protect them, she had swore to herself she'd never cry again. Her tears were part of the weak person she had left behind.

A promise she had also made to Lucy and Cosmo. Just like they had promised to never leave each other's side. To never give up on each other. To never let _anything_ happen to each other.

The three of them had made a vow that night as the sun disappeared on the horizon. Well, four in fact. As Merryn, jealous of their little scene, had also put her paw on their hands. Really, Lucy had made one of her best decisions when she had freed that small fluffy pup from her cage.

Cosmo's livid face when he had heard the news had been priceless. She didn't need Lucy's ability to hear his "WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?!" loud and clear.

Jijii smiled. She was thankful she had followed them. Her life had never been the same afterwards and it was as if the sun had finally broke through the dark clouds.

 _"Promise me you won't let anything happen to her,"_ Cosmo had reminded her before he left with Aria for his own mission.

And Jijii didn't like breaking promises.

When she lifted her head back from the book, her cheeks were still dry and her determined look was back in her eyes. She stood up and pet Merryn's head, who was had been standing next to her all this time. They had waited long enough. She tied back her cape and grabbed her sword.

It was time for action and whoever had kidnapped their captain was going to learn what it meant to have Scarlet Kaida as enemies.

Notes: I hope even though this chapter is kinda short you enjoyed it anyway and it was Worth the wait? maybe. i don't know. thanks for sticking with me and irregular Schedule (the holidays, exams and being back to uni doesn't help lol) Also (i hope you'll read this because it's important for you understanding if the story) it's is important to know that i thought of this story before S4 was out and therefore the paladins DONT know about Lotor. No one knows. That's why it's even more intriguing for lucy to know about him, right? ;) leaving you here with that 3 Anyways i hope you enjoyed all those new flashbacks and content about Lucy, Cosmo and Jijii. About their past and also that birthday content. well. what could have happened and what SHOULD have happened if lucy had not been captured and if the war wasn't going down. but oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	10. Ghosts

Hello hello, the new chap is here :)  
I hope you listened to me since chapter 1 when I said this story was angst, pure angst and that i had never such a deep level of angst. I really hope. But good thing for you, I spared you the worse part as it'd have make a too big chapter as this one is already more than 7k words. So something big has yet to happen :)

ANSWERING TIME:

\- Someone read chap 7&8 yesterday as she was behind the last updates and was a little bit confused with Lucy's nightmare and how she saw it "a hundred times" already. So in case more of you are confused, and forgot (no worries, i play with your brains and how you forget those tiny details). So I'll give you the answer i gave her : "because lotor made her see it a hundred times already. it's not the first time they play with her mind; it's been a week now. and they saw it brought her pain. that it was an efficient one so they use it against her as she already "dreamed" about it when she was on SK and free. it's her fear to lose everyone. they want to break her mind and fear is the easier way as remember "it's easier when people suffer" right? ;)" (i spared you her screams and her hate for Lotor that increased in the span of a second). Voilàààà *angel face*

\- Answering the guest review from _Pidge's Friend_ : "I really enjoyed this chapter! It's very well written and the characters stay true to the ones in the show. Side note to the author: Is Lucy based on you or a friend? She's so well described and seams so full of life it's almost as if she were a real person. I'm so excited to read the next chapter!" First of all, thank you for reading this story and taking the time to leave a comment, happy you're enjoying this story so far and i hope i won't disappoint! Thanks for the compliment, I'm really glad you don't think i'm out of character and as for Lucy, yes she's 90% based on me (minus the badass fight skill, magic and angsty past) and so are Jijii, Lo, Aria, Aeris, Ash, Maisie, Cosmo, Zamia as they are based on friends of mine (who i personnaly dragged in voltron's hell). I'm glad you're liking them! It's really hard working with characters you didn't create but I love this challenge!

A promise of mine: with that chapter you will have answers and more questions as well (something was supposed to happen but chap was already too long so it'll happen in chap11)

ALSO IT IS A TENTH CHAPTER AND I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD COME THIS FAR SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING ME UNTIL NOW! HOPE I WONT KILL YOU WITH THAT CHAP! (otherwise? too bad. because it is only the beginning of the angst) LOVE YOU ALL (also i've reached 40k words and that's even crazier)

Hazel stared at the blue map in the room. Allura and Coran had managed to set up their technology on board of Scarlet Kaida in the past weeks and she was now able to walk through the galaxies. Standing in front of planets and traveling faster than shooting stars.

The Balmera, Earth or even her own planet. She could go anywhere. See everything. With just one flip of a finger.

But the one thing she wanted to see on that map wasn't a star or a planet. Her captain's location could never appear on that map. And she felt the bitter taste down her throat. She was the navigator, it was her job to carry the crew to their destination. They only needed to ask.

And Hazel hated not being able to help. She knew she couldn't do anything. Her map couldn't display that type of information. She was useless.

When she'd been lost and scared, defenceless and without a place to go, Lucy had been there to give her a hand. A chance to leave her past and take down on a new road. A path of recovery and freedom. Loana was right. They all healed thanks to Scarlet Kaida. They all healed thanks to each other's presence. And in bad days, someone was always here by your side.

"We're in this together," Lo had told her once. "We can defeat any challenge."

But as hardworking as she was, she couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel like Lucy had taught her.

 _Visualise it. Visualise your path. One step after another. You can't hike the mountain in one go. Sometimes you have to take a break, breathe and take a snack. And most importantly you never go in the mountain by yourself, right? Your friends are here for you, Hazel. I'm here for you, Hazel._

Lucy was always here for everyone but who was there for her? She could always hear their thoughts. She always knew when something was wrong. And even if Hazel wasn't able to read minds like Lucy did, she knew a fake smile when she saw one. Even if Lucy always seemed so happy and joyful around them, Hazel knew she was keeping darker secrets inside her heart.

Keeping secrets from Jijii. From Lo. From Cosmo. From everyone.

If Lucy started hiding from them? What dark thoughts could haunt her mind?

As much as she loved helping others, Hazel had seen how hard it was for Lucy to seek help from the crew she loved so dearly.

 _If they don't want to speak about it, then we don't force them._

That was the rule on Scarlet's deck. Everyone had a right to privacy, to speak when they were ready to do so. And Hazel was scared Lucy would never open that door.

What if Lucy never came back? What if the last time they'd hear her voice would have been on that Galra deck? Just before she left with Alan and their unit. What if Lucy was already gone?

What if. What if. What if.

Hazel had always hated being left in the unknown.

The fear of what was going to happen. If the smile was suddenly going to turn into a sneer. If the laughter was going to turn into anger in a second. If the hug was going to turn into a punch.

Not knowing was scary and ignorance and carelessness only left bruises on your skin.

Hazel closed her eyes and tightened her fist, nails digging into her skin as the old demons came chasing after her.

 _Go away. Leave me alone._

Steve's sudden purrs brought her back to reality and she turned her attention back to her bracelet where a blue dot was flickering. She took the com and Jijii's voice answered right away.

"Hazel, let the others know that I'm expecting everyone in the main room in ten minutes!"

"Copy that!"

"Good, I'll see you there." And with no further explanation, Jijii ended the call.

The navigator didn't waste time and shared the information with everyone but she remained confused. What could Jijii possibly want to tell them? They hadn't seen much of her in the past few days. Always going with Aeris to meetings with the Coalition or searching through files and books to find a solution.

Hunk, Pidge and Cosmo had managed to hack again the Galra system and take back the data of the different security cameras of Central Command. Apparently, the whole Galra network was based in one and only server and even with Central Command's destruction they had been able to get some data back. Alarming ones.

Zarkon's dead body. Alan's unit falling. Their enemy being careful enough not to appear on screen. Lucy's blood in the corridors.

They had watched them over and over again, trying to find a clue. But the screens would inevitably turn black. The videos stopped there, two hours before Central Command's destruction.

What happened? Where was Lucy? Who was that new enemy she had mentioned to Jijii?

Always the same questions going over and over again in her brain. Driving her crazy.

Hazel went to her room to wake Katsa up from her nap, and the both of them directly went from the main room where most of the crew was already standing.

They were probably curious too, after all, it was rare for Jijii to convoke everyone. They weren't used to that. Even as a lieutenant, she wasn't more present than any of them. She attended to her own businesses, like everyone else. They would cross her path in the corridors, in the training room most of the time, or spending time with Lucy the rest of the day. Jijii was a true ninja and it was nearly impossible for someone to track her movement onboard.

Hazel startled when Jijii suddenly started to talk. She was standing in the back of the room, one of her leg resting against the wall, her dark sword hanging at her side, arms crossed on her chest. Hazel didn't miss the sparkle of mischief that flashed in Jijii's gaze. Most of them hadn't seen her standing there either.

"No matter how many years pass, you guys are still surprised by my ninja skills and it is delightful." Everyone smiled in the room. No matter the situation, their leader would always stay the same. But they also knew she had said that to lighten the mood, to ease some of the tension away. Hazel saw the exhaustion on her comrades' faces and she bet Jijii saw it too.

"I gathered everyone here today because I need to talk to you. I need to talk and for you guys to listen to me, just a few minutes."

The lieutenant - the captain - kept talking as she walked towards the estrade at the other side of the room. Her steel boots clattered on the ground and the surrounding noise died instantly when her gaze fell on the crowd once more. When Jijii started to talk again, her tone had shifted to a more serious one.

"For those who don't know or are just as terrible with dates as I am… Tomorrow is Lucy's birthday. Tomorrow, she will turn twenty and we won't be here to celebrate it with her." Jijii paused, giving time to the crew to process what she had just said, and for her to calm down her emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her.

"A few of you might already know, but on our planet, on Atlantis, this might be one of the most important day of our life. It's… It's the day you officially become an adult. The day you become responsible of your actions, of your magic. On that day you are supposed to be with all of your loved ones. They're supposed to show you how proud of you they are and how much they love you."

The room had fallen completely silent. Why was Jijii telling them this? Why now? Hazel felt the tears in her eyes as raw emotions battled in her heart as well. The frustration and anger she had felt a few minutes ago were nothing compared to now. One more time the cruelty of the world struck her. How was it possible? How could such cruel coincidences exist? Why did Lucy had to be the victim of the universe's game? Why did everything had to be so fucked up?

"In Lucy's absence, I'm your captain, even if we all know she is the one worth of this title, not me. And still, I'm going to do my best and do what I always did, to do what she always did too: lead you all back home, Lucy included." Jijii's green eyes fell on the crowd once more. Filling them with her own determination and will, she stared at everyone.

"But in order to do that, I will need everyone's help. I will need everyone's hope and energy and most of all, I will need for all of you to have faith in yourself and in Lucy." She paused once more for a split second, breathing and taking back the hold of her emotions. "She always did her best. She saved all of us and never asked to be saved in return. It's time for us to show her how much we love her. How much we want to protect her just the way she always protected us.

"Please, do your very best for her. Don't do it for me. Do it for her. We can't give up. Not now. Not when she's probably fighting too. We cannot abandon her. Please, help me bring her back here, back home. Wherever she is, I will do everything I can to make sure she comes back safe and sound. Who's with me?"

A cheer erupted in the room. Gone were the tears. Gone were the doubts. For now they could only think of one and only thing and it wasn't the tiredness in their bones. The day wasn't over. They needed to keep going. To go further one step after the other. Just like Lucy had always taught them.

Together they were going to cross that mountain. Take it down, blow it up, slay it. They were going to do whatever was needed to get to their destination and fulfill their goal. The fight wasn't over.

"You guys are the best… Come on, everyone go work! Stick together, support each other, and do not hesitate to report any kind of detail that catch your attention. Let's find our Captain!"

"Aye, aye!"

"And we will make sure the bastards that dare took her away from us will pay." Mystery shrouded the first lieutenant's words, leaving everyone in the room wonder at her true intentions. the heavy silence lingered in the suddenly tense room, only Jiji's grin breaking the pattern of concerned faces. "Let's go wild, darlings."

"Aye, aye!"

Jijii lay next to Merryn. Resting her head on the hound's flanks had always helped to ease her mind. To feel Merryn's chest rise under her cheeks with each of her breath was reassuring. A small touch of normality in this crazy world. Merryn was still breathing. She was too. And in regard of the vessel's state, Lucy was still breathing too.

She sighed and stretched her limbs. That speech in front of everyone had exhausted her. She definitely wasn't meant to be a captain. She loved helping Lucy out. She enjoyed the sort of shadows she lived in. The spotlight definitely wasn't meant for her. How did Lucy handle such social pressure everyday?

Jijii stared at the ceiling of her room. She had decided not to go back in Lucy's. Seeing her stuff was too much to handle. And she had hated to see herself like that, as if she was already in need of grieving Lucy.

Lucy wasn't dead. Not yet. She wouldn't allow it. She still had a chance to save her. They were going to find her. They were going to bring her home, and then and only then would she allow herself to go back to Lucy's room.

 _Keep holding on, Lucy. We'll find you. I promise you._

A sudden noise coming from outside the room tore her from her daydreams. Someone was knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

Katsa's redhead came through the doorway. "Jijii, can you please come over in the navigating room? We need you."

"Sure!" Jijii got jumped off her mattress and followed after Katsa.

When Jijii and Katsa stepped into the room, Hazel immediately turned her head towards them. She didn't stop playing with her blonde locks. Why did she look so anxious? That never announced anything good.

"I didn't know what to do," Hazel started, fidgeting on her feet, stress biting off her words. "So Katsa and I decided it would be better if you came

"What is going on Hazel? Tell me."

Hazel turned back to her screens without stopping to twirl her fingers around her hair. A green square kept blinking on the computer. An incoming call.

"I don't understand. What's the matter?"

"It's Lucy's personal line. When she doesn't answer after numerous calls they are transferred here. It's… It's from the inn, Jijii."

"Oh."

It was the only reaction Jijii could muster. The Dragon's Lair had not received any news from them for a whole week. Not since the mission at Central Command. No one had called them back. No one had wanted to tell tell them the dreadful news. Especially when they didn't have any idea where Lucy was.

Jijii played with the strings of the bracelet on her wrist and took a deep breath. They had waited long enough. She couldn't keep them in the ignorance any longer. She had to tell them.

She had thought of calling Natsilane and Tori before… After all, they were the tenants of the inn where a lot of people from the rebellion and Kolivan's forces came. Even soldiers of the Empire. A lot of information flowed around the tables. They could be of great help.

They once were part of the Scarlet Kaida crew, too. They were still part of the family. They deserved to know.

But Jijii hadn't be able to give the order of calling them. She couldn't hand them such news, break their hopes and worsen their worry. Plus, it wasn't just question of Natsilane and Tori; they could understand her situation, maybe get pissed at her but they would take action afterwards. They were adults, they would be able to handle the news. Somehow.

But how about the children?

There was a reason why Lucy had decided to send them there. Far away from the battlefield. Far away from the bad news. From the screams. From the blood. From the retaliation that could hit them if something went wrong. Lucy couldn't put their safety in the balance. They were too young. They had already been through too much for their age. They deserved to have a life free of the consequences of her choices.

The children considered Lucy family. They were so attached to her. She was like a sister to them. Jijii bet some even considered her their mother. Even if Makara and Stergann took care of them most of the time, Lucy had been the one to save them. To ease their mind. To bring them back to safety. She had saved them. It was normal for them to idolize her and forge deep ties with her.

How could a three year old child handle such news? How could those children that had always been protected by their Mama Sis, as they called her, handle the news that she was gone, without shattering in pieces?

How could she be the bringer of such news? She had seen enough broken faces for the day - for the rest of her life. Had seen how exhausted and tired everyone was in the main room. How, even with her speech, the doubt and the worries were slowly eating them away.

She didn't want to do that. But what she wished for had nothing to do in the balance today. She had to take actions. She had to answer that call. Nat and Tori and deserved the truth. She could try and tell them the news as cautiously as possible. Right?

"It's okay Hazel. I'll take it. Answer the call."

"Okay…" Hazel bit on the edge of her lips and put her palm on the screen, removing it as soon as it was unlocked. As if she had been burned. As if she was just as afraid as she was of the bomb they were going to give them.

None of them had expected Sammy's face to appear on the screen.

Jijii felt the twist in her gut as his blue gray irises appeared on the wall. None of them had been ready for that. Her words she had so clumsily prepared died on her lips.

"Jijii?"

The blade she felt in her stomach twisted. _Not Sammy. Not him. No._ Why did it have to be him on the other side? He was the closest to Lucy. She had raised him ever since he was little. He only had memories of the Scarlet Kaida's walls. He was the first of the orphans Lucy had taken under her wing. She had cherished him and had formed such a deep bond with him. He wanted her to teach him everything. From silly tricks with Merryn to the complicated grammar and alphabet of the Atlantean language.

And now she had to tell him, _him_ , out of all people, that she was gone?

Jijii felt the colours leave from her face.

Sammy had bags under his eyes and the mess in his hair looked just as if he had just gotten out of bed. No, Jijii corrected herself. He had fallen asleep there. Sammy had probably been the one to call all this time.

She recalled the seven missed calls displaying on Lucy's screen earlier.

 _Oh, Sammy…_

"Jijii?"

"Yes, Sam?" She gulped, hating how her voice trembled on his name. She couldn't lie to him. Hope and confusion battled in his eyes.

 _How do I do this? How? I can't. I can't. I don't want to. No. Please._

"Jijii why are you answering Lucy's calls? I tried to call earlier but she didn't answer. I guess she's occupied... as always. Maybe she's with Kolivan or with the Coalition. I know how busy it can turn out to be." Sammy kept babbling in front of them. A habit he had taken from Lucy when she was stressed. She would just start to spill everything that was crossing her mind. "I know you've probably been busy in the past days and that's why you didn't call back. But it's okay now that you did, it's fine. It's just that it's already tomorrow here and I wanted to be the first to wish her a happy birthday."

Her birthday. Of course he would remember. Of course.

Jijii wanted to scream. Behind her Hazel and Katsa swallowed back a sob, biting their lips.

How could she do this? How? How? _How_?

"Sam I…"

No she definitely couldn't do this. Not now.

She was going to do what she did best. Tell him something, anything, and avoid some truths. She hated herself for lying to him but she definitely couldn't do this. Honesty wasn't good when it brought even more despair. Yeah. She wasn't going to do that.

A sudden noise came from behind Sammy and Tori appeared on the screen.

"Sammy? You're still here? Come on, I told you to go upstairs and get some sleep. You'll try to call again tomorrow." Tori put down the logs she had in her hands as soon as she saw the three of them on the computer.

"Jijii? Hazel? Katsa?"

Tori's face shifted after a few seconds. Taking in their stance, the sideway glances. She could possibly feel that something was wrong. Before she left with her husband, she had been one of the best when it came to analysing people.

And neither Katsa nor Hazel were trained to hide their emotions. To Tori, they probably looked like two open books.

 _Damn it._ This was going to be harder than expected.

"Sammy, go to your room please."

"What? Why?"

"Tara is going to need to take her medicine soon. Can you please go upstairs and check if she's not already awake."

"But…"

"Please? I'll join you in a second."

"Sure…" Sammy grabbed his old Merryn plushie on the desk and got out of the room.

"Why does Tara needs to take medicines?" Jijii asked, jumping on the distraction.

"Nothing to worry about, she just catched a cold when playing in the snow the other day. The poor girl has a fever." Tori, removed her coat and shrug the snow off her hair. "But you won't fool me Jijii."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not stupid. Something is wrong. You haven't called in days, not since the mission, and we haven't got any news from Kolivan either. You are keeping things from us." Tori paused before adding, "I know we weren't aware of the date the attack would take place for our own security but I'm pretty sure it happened already. And if everything had gone according to plan, we would have heard from you earlier. We would have heard the news from _everyone_. A ten thousand years old war finally being over? I think people would talk about it."

"Tori."

"Don't even start Jijii. I can already smell your lies from here. Where is Lucy? Why are you answering her calls?"

"Lucy isn't here."

"Then, where?"

"She can't answer you right now. I'll tell her you tried to join her."

"Sammy has been at it for _days_. Stop treating me like an idiot. If you were trying to keep some truths from Sammy, I get it. He's young and can't possibly hear everything. But not me. What happened at Central Command? What is going on?"

Tori kept staring at them. It was if she could see inside them. Her gaze was like a sharpened scalpel, or a key. Trying everything to uncover the truth. She would dig until she'd get her answers. And Tori was the incarnation of stubborness.

"Lucy is gone." Katsa spilled suddenly.

"Katsa!" Jijii cursed.

"What?" Tori shouted.

"Something went wrong during D-Day, Lucy told us to leave but she didn't make it and Central Command is gone and so is Lucy we don't know where she is."

"Great, you two don't know how to keep your mouth shut, huh?" Jijii glared at Hazel who had just spilled the rest of the news.

"They need to know-"

" _Out_. Both of you. Now!"

Hazel glared at her as she went out. Jijii would handle her anger later, now it wasn't the time. She had another fury to tame.

"I beg your pardon, Julie? You better tell me that what they just said wasn't true and that your reaction didn't mean you actually planned to hide such things from us."

"I can't do that Victoria."

Tori exploded.

"How could you? How could you keep such secrets?! Why didn't you tell us before?!"

"Would it change anything for you? Sometimes being left in the unknown is better. You left with Nat, you are happy on your snowy planet and are living the life you always wanted to live with your two precious daughters. I didn't want to break this for you."

"This is bullshit! Of course we'd want to know! It's not because we aren't living on Scarlet Kaida anymore that we no longer consider you family! This is not how it works! This not how _I_ work!"

"I know."

"And yet you did it anyway."

"You left for a reason, Tori. I was just trying to respect your choice."

"Lucy is gone! Lucy is gone and you have no idea where she is and Central Command blew up and-"

"I know all that already, no need to remind me."

"Well _excuse_ me, but I'm slightly concerned here!"

"And I am too. But shouting won't change anything."

"How can you remain so calm in such a situation!"

"I guess this is why I'm the one taking the lead. Because I am able to keep a hold of my emotions. Not giving in to the storm that threatens to come."

Tori closed her eyes. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed and added, in much calmer voice. It was barely but a whisper. "She's not gone- _gone…_ is she?"

"No. Her magic is still here. And the mind bonds haven't been severed."

"What else happened?"

"Zarkon's dead."

"Really?! Then who…?"

"We don't know. Lucy used her power on me and didn't have time to tell me who she saw."

"I'm coming back."

"What?" The exchange had been so calm and it had been so sudden that Jijii hadn't been able to contain her surprise.

"I said I'm coming back."

"Like hell!"

"You won't stop me. You'll need all the help you can get and I could be useful."

"No! You're needed where you are! What about the children?"

"Nat will stay here and take care of them. He'll be able to keep us informed on the movement of the Galra troops."

"Tori, no."

"Tori, yes."

"This is my quote! Find your own!" Jijii bickered.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And with that Tori ended the call.

 _Jeez_. This is why Lucy was responsible of communications. How was she even able to handle everyone? Stubborn as she was, of course Tori wouldn't back down. But she was right, they needed all the help they could get and her skills could be useful in the future.

Jijii was exhausted. What time was it? She needed a coffee. Or two. Or one mixed with lots of alcohol.

But neither coffee or rest waited for her on the other side of the door; Hazel did, though. Her back against the wall, her dark glare piercing through Jijii.

"What do you want Hazel?"

"What do I want? Are you serious here?!"

"Yes." Jijii answered bluntly.

"Were you really ready to lie to him? To them?"

"They could have known _later_ Hazel! They've walked away from this! We need help from those still fighting not from the few of us who finally made it out! Who found their own kind of peace! We didn't send Sammy and the others there only to bring them back when we are so weak we couldn't even protect our captain!"

"They have the right to make their own choices."

"I couldn't care less about your opinion right now, Hazel. I have stuff to do."

Hurt flashed on Hazel's face. "Lucy always cares about our opinion."

"Well, I'm not her. And I don't care if it sounds mean or heartless to you. The only thing I care about is to bring Lucy home and understand what the hell is going on in this shitty world and why and who did this."

Jijii left Hazel alone in the corridor. She didn't have anymore energy to fake kindness. She had already done too much efforts for the day. Forget the coffee, she was going to go straightaway to her bed. She'd catch up dinner tomorrow. Or next week. It didn't matter. She just wanted to be left alone.

She just wanted Lucy back.

Sammy slid down the door. What did Tori expect? Of course he didn't go upstairs. Lucy had always taught him to follow his instincts. Those were life savers, she had always said to him. And he had known when Tori had asked him to leave that it wasn't for Tara. Tara only needed to take her medicine in an hour anyway. She wouldn't wake up before two hours at least.

And Tori knew that, yet she lied to him. Pushed him away. Sammy hated when adults did that. He understood that he was still a child but still… At least Lucy and him had a code for that. She would tell him when something was beyond the limits of his accreditation.

 _Lucy is gone._

Katsa's statement had knocked the breath out of his lungs. This is what they had been trying to hide from him. The lieutenant - well if Lucy was gone, Jijii was probably captain now, right? - had tried to protect him from the truth. But Tori had messed up with her plan and now he knew.

But if Jijii wasn't giving up on Lucy he certainly wouldn't either. As soon as he heard Tori's footsteps coming closer he rushed and climbed the stairs.

 _Stand tall. Keep fighting. Don't falter._

He knew what he was going to do.

 _"Lucy?"_

Cosmo woke up against the cold window. Out of habit he had called out for her. The realisation that she wasn't there was even more painful than he would have expected.

The only source of light in the room came from the bluish luminosity of the computers' screens. He had pins and needles in his legs and sweat covered his skin. It wasn't the first time that he had fallen asleep in his laboratory this week. Had he even slept once in his room ever since he had heard the news?

Of course he hadn't.

He had tried at first. But his brain hadn't let him sleep. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't lose precious time like this. And even if he managed to close his eyes for a few minutes, nightmares suddenly flooded his thoughts.

He was used to nightmares. But not to their intensity and their frequence in the recent days. They were even starting to follow him during the day too, now. Was he becoming insane? He feared his demons would get the better of him one day.

Usually, whenever he had nightmares he would come in his lab and sit by its window. Looking at the sky, at the stars, at the planets they crossed on their journey would bring him peace and even if he wouldn't sleep tight, he would manage to doze off a few hours. Enough to handle the next day. Lucy would always come and join him at one point. Sometimes, it even happened that she was here before him. A steaming cup of his favourite tea already in her hands. A book in the other, she would settle herself by the window and would start to read.

To fill in the blank she read out loud, acting it out as if she was part of the story herself. He suspected her of always bringing books that she knew he would like. Sometimes when she was pissed at him she would bring the cheesiest of stories, so he would die of boredom and beg for her stop the reading. But he wouldn't. And her game would turn against her and she would start to get angry at that stupid girl that fell into every trap.

 _Bitch, stop staring at him and his abs like the dumb potato you are and get yourself out of here!_

 _Damn it, Cosmo why won't she fucking take her freaking dagger in her belt and get out of that mess she stupidly get herself in? Again._

They often had had to deal with her bursting imagination and how sometimes items from the book she had imagined too vividly suddenly popped into the room. And depending where that object would land it could get pretty risky, as, after all, they were still in his lab where stuff that weren't meant to interact with a sudden sparkling hydra robot were kept.

But her reading skills and her ability to make him see the events in his head made the stories even more thrilling. He hated realizing the next morning he had suddenly been caught up by sleep and had fallen asleep mid-sentence. But he suddenly understood why all the children loved it when Lucy took time to read them bedtime stories.

Cosmo enjoyed the time they would spend together, her presence easing his pain away. He liked how everything was simple next to her. He didn't need to try and struggle with signing or writing down his words on paper. No. She would know already, reading his thoughts as fast as if they were her own.

He loved her ability for that. It made everything easier.

He loved it and he hated it. Because her ability was the main reason why she was here at his side during those nights. His pain and nightmares would wake her up. Cosmo hated himself for that. During those nights he hated her ability and how much of a burden it was to her. Always having their thoughts flooding in her brain.

The strongest emotions always felt as if they were hers. She had told him one night, a few years ago, how the growth of Scarlet Kaida's number came with retaliation. How, sometimes more often than she wished to admit, everyone's emotions was nearly too much to handle.

Strong emotions. Happiness, but most oftenly pain, fear, sorrow, grief. Anger.

 _It's easier when people suffer._

And yet she was always here for them. She knew what they were all feeling and she would take their hands and shield them from their own demons when she was able to.

Lucy was always here for them. Whether it was with her bright smile and warm embrace or with her sleepy eyes and messy hair, she was always here.

Always.

But not tonight.

A log had fallen in the fireplace. It wasn't her footsteps in the staircase.

He hated how everything in this ship reminded him of her. He was used to having her around all the time. And even when she wasn't physically there, she would be in his head. Bothering him in the middle of his work because she had random questions to ask him or because she was bored and really needed distraction in the middle of that tiresome meeting.

 _"Cosmo I swear I'm going to murder that stupid Mr. Cucurbitaceae. How was he even able to become king?"_

 _"Cosmo do you think Shiro can cook an egg on his arm?"_

 _"Hey Cosmo, what are we eating today? Do you think Ash made pizza? I need pizza. Or pasta. Ash said she was going to bring us to Italy one day. Will you come with us? I mean have you ever tasted a tiramisu?"_

 _"She told us the Siracusa lemon was the best to make lemon tarts. She said it's delicious."_

 _"Cosmo."_

 _"Cosmo."_

 _"Cosmo I'm hungry."_

 _"Cosmo, what the hell, stop to think of waffles my stomach just growled and now Mr Cucurbitaceae is staring at me with his weird eyes."_

Cosmo missed her random questions. He missed their talk. He missed her.

He wasn't used to the silence anymore.

She had wiped it away from his daily life. And now it was here again. Just like in the arena. Just like when he had had to stand near those disgusting beings. Having to pour them drinks as they sat in those comfy seats while below them, people fought to death. It was just a game for them. A distraction.

Sometimes, in his nightmares, their red wine would turn into the crimson blood that stained the arena's sand.

Sometimes, when they were tired of having him around he would be sent back in the arena. He was their object, a toy for them to throw at their dogs. And they needed to remind him how lucky he was, right? How lucky he was to be up there. Safe.

Cosmo pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and stared at the inside of his elbow where the black triangle was. Haunting him. Sometimes he could swear it was burning through his skin, that he could still feel their purple glare staring inside his heart. He could still hear their voices even after years. They haunted him like ghosts.

Those nights were the worse. And this was during those nights that Lucy sat at the window, an empty cup already sitting on the nearby table. She had been up for awhile. And when she stood there in the moonlight, her own black triangle gleaming on the back of her neck, he would feel the anger rising in his veins. Jijii's own tattoo, mirroring theirs in his mind. How many of them would still need to suffer until this would be over? How long was it going to last?

He wanted the pain to be over. He wanted everything to be over.

And in those times, Lucy would always be here. Her frozen fingers would land on his hand and she would lead him to the window, and sit with him and talk for hours. She would sing him an old lullaby from her childhood and he would drift back to sleep. Sometimes she fell asleep before he did. But he wasn't alone. And it was the only thing his brain needed to ease his dark thoughts away.

Lucy was always here.

But not tonight.

Silence hit his ears, and pounded in his head like a hammerblow.

Silence was danger. Silence was pain. Silence was scary.

 _Where are you Lucy?_

 _Where are you?_

 ** _Where are you?_**

Lucy's mind was blurry and she was focused on not throwing up. She felt dizzy but when she finally managed to open her eyes, she wasn't greeted by the unbearable white walls and light of her cell. The buzzing sound that usually was there wasn't piercing her brain either.

 _Where am I?_

A grunt escaped her lips and the world spinned once more. She rolled on the uncomfortable bed she was on and emptied the content of her stomach on the floor.

 _I guess it confirms my theory that I haven't been 24/7 in that bloody room…_

Seeing the needles diving in her veins, she ripped them from her skin. Who knew what was dripping in her blood? She suspected it wasn't just nutriments. Was it why she felt so dizzy? Why nightmares and visions of her past kept haunting her in the past few days?

Days?

She wasn't even sure of that. Sometimes she felt like eons had past since that day, sometimes it felt like mere hours had gone by. She was completely disoriented, lost. She could barely think straight.

But she recalled the snap of Alan's bond in her mind just as vividly as if it had happened a second ago. Just like Deandra's. And so many others. How many people's death was she responsible for? How many people had died because they had followed her?

She stared at her clothes. They reeked of chemical smells. She was probably in a lab. Of course; they needed her to be cleaned up before their experiments.

 _She was in a lab._ What the hell had they done to her while she was out?!

 _She was in a lab._ And the door was still open.

Her heart leaped in her chest and she jumped off the bed. If Lotor thought she was going to miss such an occasion he was definitely wrong. And if it wasn't Lotor's doing but the carelessness of one of his scientist then screw him. Screw them all; she was going to escape. She was going to join her crew. She was going to go back home. No one could stop her.

Except that traitorous floor apparently.

Her legs wobbled under her own weight and she crashed on the floor, scratching her knees and snatching one last forgotten needle in her leg.

"Aouch."

 _She's beauty, she's grace, she's a peanut landing on her butt._

Jijii really had a gift for poetry and messing with her sanity, even when she wasn't there with her.

 _Put pressure on that wound dumbass! You stupid, do you want to lose all your blood and faint in the middle of your meeting with Voltron? We've had enough accident for the day don't you think?_

Hmmm. Sometimes Jijii had thoughtful thoughts too. Lucy got back on her feet and put pressure on her wounds, as good as she could.

If Jijii where to learn that she had died of blood loss because of a snatched needle, she would find a way to beat her ass. Even in Hell.

If the two of them shared one thing it was their stubborness.

Jijii… Was she okay? How were the others? Had they managed to escape in time? Surely by now Jijii would have taken upon herself her role as the captain of the Scarlet Kaida. Lucy hoped everything was good for them. She prayed they weren't all already at each other's' throats. In times like this, she knew how easily the balance could flip. They were all on edge. Her disappearance and their failure during D-Day must have messed up with the usual harmony.

She needed to get out of here and get back to them. As soon as she was able to.

She managed to get back on her wobbly feet and got out of the room - the furnitures and the floor were obviously against her and she fell numerous times during the small journey that separated her from the bed and the door. She hated being so weak. Which drug had they used to knock her out so hard?

But the effect were fading rather fast and by the time she was out of the room she could already walk normally, and she was soon able to reach her normal pace.

She nearly screamed of happiness when she felt a familiar weight in her palm. It wasn't as perfectly detailed as it usually was but it was there. Her magic was there. And she now had her dagger with her. She wouldn't let them have her so easily anymore.

She felt stronger than ever. Her power bouncing at the tip of her fingers.

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned her head back. Slowly. Surely she was mistaken. Surely she couldn't have been right. Maybe the drugs were still affecting her system after all.

She backtracked and gasped.

 _Atlantis_.

Her planet.

Her home.

It was here.

Just before her eyes.

She had not dreamed it.

Lucy felt her previous train of thought leave her brain. Her hand moved on the window and she bathed into the sight of the small planet in front of her. The three moons. The continents. The oceans.

Even more memories flashed before her eyes. She hadn't seen her planet in so long. She realised now how homesick she had been all this time. The longing to be home had never been so strong. The emotions welled up in her eyes. She was so close. It was so, so…

"Beautiful sight, isn't it?"

Lucy whipped her head backward, her grip suddenly tightening around her makeshift weapon.

Lotor casually arrived from the other side of the corridor. She couldn't go back, behind her was the laboratory corridor and it was a dead end. The only way out she knew was to follow the corridor where Lotor stood. Carelessly playing with a dagger between his fingers. Her dagger she realised.

The dagger that had always be meant for his heart was now a trophy in his hands. The amethyst's sparks in the blade shone with a darker glow under the Galra ship's lights.

"I think it is time we had a discussion."

MWHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH (and if you have a feeling of déjà-vu with that last quote? Normal. It's the quote Lotor says at the end of s4's finale hehe)

This chapter? was so cool to write XD I was kinda blocked at first with Hazel as it was a first for me to write such a huge part in her pov, then came Jijii's speech for which i had real no inspiration because i don't know how to make such talks so a HUGE thanks to the irl Jijii who wrote the skeleton for me and i just added the descriptions and details on top. LOVE YOU MY LILI JELLO!

Cosmo's angst part? wasn't planned. wrote it cause i had one night a prompt where he was in the lab and having nightmares and i realized that it could fit that chap so ofc i added it.

In case you're wondering why "ghosts" is the title? ghost because of cosmo's nightmare, hazel's demons, lucy seeing atlantis AND SO MUCH MORE IN CHAP11 (well that's planned at least because i haven't writen it yet XD Been busy with planning and outlining the whole fics and getting myself into deep for other writing projects. And Uni. yes. i need to remember my student life too. lol. LEMME BE A PIRATE)

Because yes, it's a surprise to me the first but I am not done with the Scarlet Kaida's crew after SK is done. First we'll see Lucy, Cosmo, Lo and Jijii in an AU in the Supernatural (tv show) world where you'll meet Jijii's OCs from Eterna Storia (her novel) and then in A SK AU i got a prompt for that i had promised myself it would stayed as headcanons status. Jijii was also fooled by her brain and dived into writing an ES X VLD AU too and here's the link : A Paladin's Soul. I don't have much readers but if you're interested go read! it's still on a google doc for the moment but maybe with your help i'll convince her to post it because it's awesome! It's her first try (minus the first chap of Hunter & Renegades we wrote together so far) at writing in english and it's great so please check out the work of my fellow french paladin!


	11. Missing spoons

*awkwardly appears* hello! it's been awhile, right? ha-ha. oops?

OKAY BUT I HAVE GOOD EXCUSES. No terrible ones but in fact you have no idea how hard this chapter was to write. like? I never struggled so hard? every scene was a new issue and new struggle but i FINALLY, after a whole month working on it - because yes i haven't stopped writing - it is here. 20 pages on my document and more than 7k words so i hope you'll enjoy them

ALSO I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS BECAUSE IF YOU ENJOY READING SCARLET KAIDA I WROTE THIS MONTH A SHORT STORY FOR THEM CALLED "SCARLET KAIDA - THE ORIGINS" AND, HENCE THE TITLE IT IS A NEW STORY SET IN THEIR PAST THAT I WROTE FOR A CONTEST HELD BY Luna_Vulpes SO PLZ GO READ IT AND VOTE FOR ME IF YOU LIKED : it HERE AND I WOULD LOVE YOU TO READ IT

final word? i finished this chapter before watching season 5 this afternoon and OH BOI WHO IS EXCITED FOR JUNE AND CANNOT WAIT BECAUSE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *proceeds to internal screams for the next decapheebs*

 **I PLANNED THIS STORY EVEN BEFORE SEASON 3 WAS OUT SO DONT BLAME ME IF CHARACTERS ARE NOW OOC** (Important reminder for those who never read the author notes)

A wave of nostalgia washed over Tori as she saw Scarlet Kaida appear on her screens. Three years had gone by since she had last set foot on its deck but even though she had left her quarters to live with her husband and daughters, she had never really left the crew.

"You'll always be part of the family," Lucy had whispered as she hugged them one last time before their departure. She and Natsilane had decided to step away from the chaos of war when she got pregnant. Even if they weren't fighting directly at their crewmates' side anymore, they were still taking part in the resistance in their own way. They used their spying skills in their own walls, collecting information, data or eavesdropping here and there before reporting the news to Kolivan or their captain. They even had some ties with the freedom fighters who often passed by.

And now Lucy was gone.

Tori hadn't hesitated and had prepared herself and the shuttle to leave right away. Somehow, even if she had imagined over and over again how everything could go, she had never put Lucy's life in the balance. Had always assumed she was out of reach. Nothing could touch her. None of them would let anything happen to her. Ever.

Lucy had done so much for most of them to let her down. She was their captain, a little sister to many, a close friend to others. The children idolized her. She was their home, their savior. How would they announce to those poor souls, that once more, the Empire had taken away something so precious to them? How would Tara, Tom or Maria take the news? How would Sammy?

Sammy had known Lucy for the longest, along with Jijii and Cosmo, she had raised him even before Scarlet Kaida was born. She meant the world to him and if anything happened to her, she didn't want to think of the consequences it could have on the young boy's health.

Lucy was gone.

Tori had learned about it nearly five hours ago already and she still couldn't process the news. She couldn't shake the denial off of her. She had been left in the unknown when it came to the final battle execution. Much like everyone else. It was a safety measure and none of them knew the whole plan. None of them except Lucy and other leaders. They were the only one to know the whole thing. Had someone betrayed them? Tori couldn't help but think back to that blue eyed stranger and his sudden interest for their captain. She needed to go back. She couldn't just stay there, not doing anything when they could need her skills and knowledge.

Natsilane had been just as devastated by the news and had wanted to leave with her. But they couldn't both go. Someone needed to stay and take care of the inn and of the children – they had agreed not to tell anything to them just yet. But more than that, someone needed to stay to keep watch on the Galra troops that remained on their planet. The winter season was no reason for them to leave and they had probably been too far away to be sent as back up during the battle. That, or something else had occurred. Tori really needed to arrive to Scarlet Kaida, in hope that they had more answers than she had.

She also hoped that what she had witnessed during that conversation earlier hadn't already spread to the entire crew. Tension, mistrust, anger. In time of crisis, they needed to be together, united as one. They couldn't tear each other apart.

She hated to be reminded of how important Lucy was to the crew. Much like a cornerstone, she held everyone together. And now that she was gone, Tori was afraid everything was crumbling apart.

Tori landed on Scarlet Kaida half an hour later. Scarlet Kaida never slept and even if it was in the middle of the night for them, people still hurried the corridors either from night shift or insomnia. Tori's gaze softened when she saw Aeris on the other side of the landing deck. She unbuckled her seatbelt and exited the shuttle, embracing her friend tightly. Because of their similar personalities and the short age gap between them, they had befriended each other easily when she'd been on Scarlet Kaida.

"It's been awhile."

"I know, wish it didn't have to be in such circumstances..."

"Yeah I know. How is everyone holding on?"

"It's bad, Tori. It's really bad. Everyone's on edge, it's been a week and we have no leads, no explanation. No nothing. Most of our allies are ready to break the Coalition as the war is over for them. Zarkon is dead and it's the end of their worries, the only thing they wanna know or care about. They don't want to hear that it isn't over yet. Hunk and Lance left a few hours ago to meet Queen Luxia to make sure she's still with us. As for Kolivan, he's having trouble with keeping the Blade united as well. Everything is crumbling under our feet, Tori. And the fact that today is her birthday and should have been a day of celebration isn't going to make things easier."

 _Her birthday. Of course. So that's why Sammy had insisted to call today._

The temperature dropped suddenly and a gush of hot wind brushed her exposed neck, black shadows twirled around the pillars of the hangar. Something moved in the darkness and a deep growl echoed against the walls. The creature jumped in front of them, surprising Tori.

"Merryn!" She cooed, scratching the black fur lovingly. "How is my fire pup doing?" The hound barked once more, wagging her tail under Tori's cuddles. The retired spy smiled at her dorkiness. In three years she had nearly forgotten how lively she could be.

Merryn bounced happily around the both of them, bright flames now licking her flanks. Her ears suddenly perked up and she sniffed - and started to gallop towards the shuttle, her paws ever so silent as they hit the ground.

"What the hell?" Tori blurted, surprised by Merryn's sudden race.

"You don't have chocolate in there, right?" Aeris inquired, already walking after the hound.

"Of course not! I don't want her mama to kill me on sight. Besides, I have children too now. I understand their point of view on the chocolate matter."

"Oh, so you have a secret chocolate cupboard too, now?"

"Me? No, why would I? Wait," Tori paused, baffled, "Lucy has one?"

"Of course she has!" Aeris scoffed, accelerating her pace as she heard a sound coming from the shuttle. Merryn had now disappeared inside, never bothered once by locked doors.

What could have possibly triggered such curiosity from her if not food? Beside Lucy, chocolate and pineapple, there were barely a few things that would get Merryn so excited. Aeris hoped Lucy hadn't forgotten something in that space ship, something Merryn could have smelled. Something that could have given her false hopes that her friend was back.

A loud and cheerful bark later, Tori opened the back door of her ship and her eyes went wide. Merryn, now as big as a horse, stood in front front of her, Sammy's bag hanging by her fangs. The young boy's feet, unable to reach the ground, swinged in the air while Merryn's flames flicked with delight. She beamed in front of them, happy of her find.

Sammy's pout turned into a sheepish grin as he saw the two women standing by the door.

"Morning, Aeris!" Sammy chirped, scratching the back of his neck. Merryn's fangs brushed his skin as she kept nuzzling her snout in his neck but he didn't fear her. He had no reason to do so. He had known her all his life afterall. And even though Merryn hold the power to destroy armies, she was just a soft furrball in need of hugs. Merryn's fangs weren't a threat.

Tori's still face however…

It was the calm before the storm, the water going away smoothly before the wave hit the shore. A destructive and efficient wave, only leaving broken branches and empty shells. It was a force to be recon with. An untamed and wild force.

Sammy gulped, suddenly regretting sneaking in Lucy's room to pick more books. They let his imagination run free but in times like this, they became inspiration sources and in the span of three long seconds his brain had already come up with too many deadly outcomes.

"Sam Scarlet."

Oh so she had went for the mom voice. Not good.

"What, in the name of God, are you doing here?!"

"Hehe." Sammy who was now back on the ground, shifted on his two feet, playing with the straps of his backpack.

A blank lingered until the shock faded away. What the hell was he doing here?! When did he sneak inside? Tori would need to have a few words with Aria and the training she sure had given to the young boy. She was truly impressed, so deep in her thoughts during the travel she had not noticed him. Maybe she was getting a bit rusted after all.

"Sam? Aren't you supposed to be at the inn?" Aeris looked just as confused as Tori.

"I overheard Tori's conversation with Jijii and I want to help."

Tori sighed. She had a feeling he never climbed the stairs but she still had hope that he had done it. That he hadn't heard the bad news. "Sammy I-"

"I know you lied to protect me, Tori," he smiled, "but it's not needed. I want to find Lucy. We need to bring her home."

"Sam-" Aeris' tone had shifted to a softer one, the one for bad news. And Sammy hated it. They didn't have the right to give up now. Lucy wouldn't. They didn't have the right to already think, even subconsciously that the battle was already done for. That they would never get her back. He wouldn't accept that.

Next to him, Merryn shifted at the mention of Lucy's name. He bet that if she was probably on everyone's mind, the mention of her name hurt too much. Sammy clenched his fists, memories of his last encounter with her coming back to him once more.

 _Of course, I'll come back darling. I'll always come home to you._

He didn't know if Lucy had believed in her own words that day, but she had never lied to him in the past and if for once, he needed to help her keep her promise, he wasn't going to back down.

 _I'm a Scarlet Boy and Scarlet Kaida is my home,_ he had told Makara once. And as long as Lucy wasn't back, home wouldn't be complete.

"I want to help." He was determined and he didn't look away.

In that instant, Tori saw the glimpse of something Lucy had always tried to prevent. The scarlet boy's eyes burned with the resolve of a soldier. Gone was the innocence and mischief of the child.

And if there was one trait that Sammy had taken from his new found family, it was his stubbornness. Choice and family were the most important things on Scarlet Kaida and Sammy had grown up with that philosophy. Even if he was only a child in their eyes, he wanted to do anything to save Lucy. Long ago, she had saved his life and now it was his chance to pay her back.

Pride made its way through the overprotective fear and Tori extended her hand towards the young boy. He was the future of their world, the reason why they all fought: so that children could take their life back and live on their own path.

A path free of bombs and blood.

A path they were all going to clear.

Together.

/

Lucy shivered. His long white hair, his piercing yellow eyes, the rictus at his lips. He hadn't changed. Nothing had changed.

She had been so stupid to think she had grown up. Five years had gone by and yet her body still froze at the sight of him. She couldn't help it. It was stronger than her. It didn't matter that she wanted to lounge for his throat, that she wanted to make him pay for what he had done to her. What he had stolen from her.

Her dagger in his hands was another stab to her heart and pride. He knew what it meant to her. Surely he had understood after all those days, tearing apart her memories. Nightmares and reality blending. Not being able to distinguish the two, she couldn't even say if things she had seen had really happen or not.

But this time it was real. It wasn't a nth trick. He was standing there. Teasing her nerves, tempting her. Standing there a few feet away from her, in reach, and showing her how defenceless she really was. How weak she was.

Lucy wouldn't accept it. She hadn't survive all those years only to die now. She wasn't going to give up. Not again. She hadn't lead her crew on the path of recovery only to quiver in front of her own demons. Not anymore. She was going to crush them. Snuff out that cruel glint in his eyes. She wouldn't lose.

But she couldn't ignore another new element in the equation: why were they here? Why did he bring her there? She had no doubt it was part of yet another sick game of his. She no longer doubted either that the laboratory door had been left open on purpose. Why did he bring her here?

 _Why? Why?_ _ **Why?**_

She hated being left in the unknown. Especially when Lotor was involved.

"A discussion? As if I wanted to talk with you _, bastard_!"

"Oh," he trailed, "Isn't that sweet… So you don't have any questions going through that brain of yours, huh?"

Lucy growled.

"What have they done to me? What do they want? Where am I? Why am I here?" His voice a little bit higher, he kept on going, mocking her. He was playing with her and was enjoying every second of it. "How did they even know we were going to attack that day?"

Her eyes went wide. _He knew._ It wasn't just a mere coincidence.

Everything had been part of his plan. But how? How would he know about that? No one apart from her and Kolivan knew about the whole plan. Even Jijii only learned about the whole thing at the last minute! How was it possible? He shouldn't have known about it.

How? Just, _how?_

"And here they are," he teased, his malicious grin spreading across his lips as he approached her, taking his time. She felt like a prey between the lion's paws. "The questions. You aren't as good as you used to be when it comes to hide your thoughts, Lucy."

She stared right back at him. She needed to find a way around that situation. And fast.

"What was her name already?" Lotor had stopped and his face resting on his fist, he pretended an internal debate as he starred behind her, where Atlantis was displaying all its glory. Everything was just another game to him.

"Huh?"

What was he talking about, now? He kept changing subjects, shifting from one another, keeping her from focusing. She kept the pressure on her arm but the dark dots still make their way between her fingers and dropped on the ground.

"Deandra, wasn't it?"

Lucy gasped and looked at him. How did he know about Andry?!

"It was her name right? Your friend who died in that prison…."

Lucy felt the rage build inside her. Thinking about her was still like twisting the blade in the wound. But hearing her name? Hearing _him_ mention her? It was even worse.

He kept going, his sick smile never leaving his lips.

"But how do I know about all this, right? Well, that's quite simple. I was there. What a coincidence."

"Only idiots believe in coincidence."

"I know right? Your poor plan of rescuing those rebels and prisoners failed because I attacked the prison just an hour before you. What a shame…"

 _Of course… Of course… The deleted data. A few cells opened only. Only a Galra would have been able to do that._

Lotor was yet again responsible for the death of someone close to her.

 _Again. Again._

The word kept pounding in her head. How many people would she let him kill? She needed to stop him.

Enough.

She had enough of all of that. It needed to stop.

"But how useful Ezor turned out to be when she infiltrated your crew."

What?! Surely she had misheard. It couldn't be true. No, not that!

"You should have been more careful with those freed people. You and your philosophy of letting people have their choice. Telling them about your plan to overthrow the Empire. To come and kill Zarkon and bring back freedom."

"No…"

He was lying. No one could have known. No one. Only a few people knew about the whole plan. None of the prisoners had known about the whole thing. None of that should have happened.

She couldn't lose time thinking about that.

Lotor was indirectly responsible for Deandra's death. Alan was dead because of him. His unit had been killed under her eyes, unable to do anything. Who knew how many of her friends, crewmates, and family had died during that fight?

Jijii. Cosmo. Merryn. Lo. Aria. Kol. Hazel.

Where they even alive?

Everyone's names danced in front of her eyes, filling her rage. Ignoring the pain in her stomach and arms, she dashed forward, a sharp dagger appearing in her hand. She couldn't let anything else happen. No way. Everything was going to end now.

She was suddenly crushed to the floor. Something - someone - had fell on her and was keeping her on the ground. Lotor hadn't moved an inch and remained unscathed, standing still in front of her.

"Good job, Ezor."

The same woman that had appeared behind her back and stabbed her, had yet again appeared without her being able to notice her. She choked under the sudden weight on her. Crushed on the floor she couldn't stop herself and the question bitterly escaped her lips.

"How?"

A mischievous grin spread across the familiar stranger's lips and Lotor laughed. Ezor sat up as he approached them and twisted Lucy's arms in her back.

"The answer is yet again quite simple," he said as he extended his arm toward them - so close Lucy thought his fingers were going to touch her face. But instead he grabbed the necklace around his general's neck. A blue gemstone, not cut, still raw, dangled at the end of a black knot. Lucy heard the annoying buzzing sound in her head once more. She winced, feeling the headache coming back.

"It's crazy how such small things can hold such a strong power. One must not be fooled by appearances." Lotor scoffed as he witnessed once more the efficiency of the stone on his prisoner. "You see, I wouldn't have been able to tweak such a master plan without the help of this crystal. With such a small quantity it's only able to hide its bearer from you. You can't hear Ezor's thoughts can you?"

The buzzing in her head felt like a high pitch screech and Lucy was having a hard time focusing on Lotor's words and the revelations he was making. As he kept on going, his voice ever so honeyed, Lucy learned how Ezor had remained behind at the prison and had sneaked in the freed prisoners crowd. How, when hearing about their plan, she had managed to sneak in Lucy's room and find all the informations she needed, thanks to the necklace. Her thoughts and intentions kept away from her all this time.

A stone that prevented her from hearing people's thoughts.

A stone that prevented her from using her powers.

From defending herself when it was such a crucial situation.

"Those stones, in a greater quantity, with the help of people also able to enter minds, become an even more powerful weapon. They become tools and you're able to play with the mind of others. Really useful if you ask me. The walls of your cell are covered with it."

The nightmares flashed once more in front of Lucy's eyes.

Dead bodies. Screams. Flames and blood. A smile and the warmth of the sun only to feel it snatched away and replaced by the cold and emptiness of the cruel silence.

"What do you want from me?" Lucy seethed, tears fighting at the corners of her eyes from the pain in her head and the guilt in her heart. Once more, she was faced with new proofs of her failure and carelessness. How could this have happened?

"What do I want from you? Yet another simple answer. I want you to work for me."

It was Lucy's turn to laugh.

"Working for _you_? _Me_? You're crazier than I thought. How could you think that I would do that?"

"Because you've seen what we're ready to do. We didn't make you see those scenes for nothing. We know where your little friends are. Your precious ship. And how easy it'd be for us to destroy it. To destroy _you_."

"No..."

"We've known for awhile now."

 _No…_

But at least there was one thing she could take away from all the informations he was giving her. In the middle of all those revelations and threats, he had just confirmed to her that none of them were here. She was the only one imprisoned there and Scarlet Kaida was far away.

Relief washed over her. They had managed to escape. She, at least, had managed to save some of them. Jijii had received her message.

She used the remaining of her strength to hide the smile that threatened to spread on her lips.

"I wonder how they're holding on without their captain. Maybe they will destroy each other without us having to take part into the game."

"They're stronger than that." Lucy said, trying hard not to let worry overwhelm her once more. Her strength was abandoning her. Her vision was already darkening and she knew it wasn't just the effect of the stone still dangling around Ezor's neck - or from the one Lotor was surely wearing for that matter. She had lost lots of blood already, probably more than what her already weakened immune system could handle.

She was going to pass out any second now. But it didn't matter. Her friends were alive. Another opportunity would show up and she would escape. She wouldn't give up. She would go home. She always came back home. She had never broken that promise in five years. She wasn't about to start now. She couldn't start doubting about that either.

But it wasn't in Lotor's nature to make things easier for her. And when he started to speak again, it was only to let even more doubt and worry spread inside her mind.

"How long do you think you've been gone? How long do you think they'd be able to handle the defeat, the grief and the loss of their leader. How do you think they handled the shock of the battle without you?"

 _They're stronger than that. They're stronger than that._

 _They will keep fighting no matter what._

 _They're stronger than that._

More footsteps echoed in the corridors, distracting everyone from their discussion.

A tall and strong Galra woman arrived, a smaller one by her side. A hood hid her features and a black, cat-like creature sat on her shoulders, its orange tail looped around the woman's neck. A shiver went down Lucy's spine as the cat's glare fell on her. Too human to be real.

"Axca is ready and waiting for your orders," Mrs Tall-and-scary-woman said to Lotor.

"Good, Zethrid, very good," Lotor responded eyeing at another window above them. Behind it, another woman was standing, waiting for her instructions.

"Ready? Ready for what?" Lucy dreaded, fear taking over her body once more.

"If threatening your crew who you consider as family, isn't enough of a threat, we have to think of a much bigger scale."

Lucy was barely able to breathe. The tension in the room was crushing her, almost as unbearable as the pain in her arms, squeezed tight in her back by Ezor, and the dumbing sound in her brain. She wanted to escape. Her survival instincts were screaming at her to find a way to run away from that situation. She felt the cleaver's threat above her head. Something bad was going to happen. She could feel it. Something her brain had thought out of the blue and shoved away just as fast because such events couldn't happen. That wasn't possible. Never.

"What if your home was to be destroyed? Not Scarlet Kaida, no. The incarnation of your hope-"

"No!" Lucy thrashed between Ezor's arms, kicking her with the remaining strength she had as Lotor kept on going, insensitive.

"Of a better future where you could go home. Your real home. Where everything started. Where everything will end-"

"No!"

"What if _Atlantis_ was to be destroyed."

" _No!_ "

"But then again, you can still prevent it from happening," his fingers cupped her face and she looked away. "You can decide to share your strength with me and save your friends and family. Save your planet. And all the innocents who remain there, trying to live as much of a peaceful life as they can. Maybe some of them have heard from the battle. Have heard the rumors that Zarkon, the Galra Emperor is gone. That the war will be over soon. Hope gleaming in their heart like burning coal. Or you can decide to be selfish and stubborn and be responsible for their death. Coal turning to ashes and soon to be blown away by the wind. Forever forgotten."

Lucy bit the inside of her cheeks, nails digging in her palms as she kept her eyelids shut. Trying her best to hold back her emotions.

"What do you chose, Lucy?"

She choked on her tears. How dare he turned her words against her? The final blow to her heart. Leaving her with a cornelian dilemma. Save her planet and side with the demon, or be responsible for the death of million of people and ignore her beliefs. Betraying everything she had fought for. Betraying her friends.

 _I'm sorry…_

She bit her tongue, her voice quivering with her sobs.

 _I can't let him do that. I can't._

"I'll do as you want. I'll do everything you want," she reluctantly admitted, "You've won."

"Good." Lotor let go of her face, and stepped back. But before he turned away he looked once more at the woman that was standing above them and nodded. His face blank of any emotion.

Lucy snapped her head backwards and gasped as three red rays of light escaped the ship's cannons in Atlantis's direction. The air was knocked out of her lungs as her home planet exploded in front of her eyes.

Ezor released her grip on her arms and Lucy fell on her knees, screaming. Tears ran down her cheeks as pictures of her past burned in her mind in unison with her home's destruction.

She cried as, once more surrounded by the silence, a part of her crumbled apart.

She kept screaming and crying for hours in front of that window, oblivious to the puppeteer's hands that went through her mind once more, taking control of the strings.

Her body dropped on the floor and everything turned black.

 _It's easier when people suffer._

/

Water licked her feet, the sea birds' cries echoed like a faraway lullaby in her ears.

 _Warm. Soothing._

Jijii had never felt so at peace in so long. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of the sand under her feet, the caress of the wind on her cheeks, the gurgling of the water between the rocks. With the sun quietly disappearing behind the horizon it was getting colder, but Lucy and the others didn't seem to mind and kept playing in the water. Merryn happily splashed around the three of them, obviously enjoying their new game. For a fire creature she sure enjoyed playing in the water. But what did she expect? Merryn, much like everyone in their group, was one of a kind and would never cease to amaze her.

Her mind wandered to older times when her family used to take her to the beach on an impulse, not telling her where they were going until they got there. Nostalgia overwhelmed her and as she observed the diving birds, even more memories danced in her brain.

Laughter. The smells of a rainy forest and cinnamon. The sun on her skin. Hugs. The warmth of happiness. Of family.

 _Eliott. Yoann. I miss you both so much…_

She missed their presence. Missed the way Eliott's asparagus legs would always get in the way. Missed the way Yoann would always pick his ice cream flavours so that it would please them all, as he knew they were going to end up stealing from his cup. Missed how she could just turn on the music in the kitchen and dance with them, taking their hand and swinging around, smiling when all she wanted to do was break down and cry.

She missed their crappy jokes. Their breath and light snoring at night, reassuring her without saying any words. The way they would always promptly respond to each others' interventions as if they shared one brain.

She missed them.

She missed _home_.

Sammy's sudden laughter brought her back to reality and she observed as the young child, now sitting on Lucy's shoulders, chased after Cosmo. The engineer had stolen Lucy's hat from Sammy's head and was now trying to run away with it. Jijii couldn't see Cosmo's face but she bet he wore his usual cocky grin, much to Lucy's despair. Jijii could hear her angry growls from afar.

She scoffed and crossed her arms, impatiently waiting to see the outcomes of the situation. Even if Lucy was disadvantaged by Sammy, Jijii trusted her to find a way to win over Cosmo. Lucy never backed down from such challenges.

Merryn ran beside them, enjoying the splashing sound of water under her paws. Like the imposing puppy she was, she raced after her two friends before diving once more underneath the water and chasing after the numerous fishes and crabs who occupied the area.

Cosmo stopped dead in his tracks, and put his arms over his face in a protective stance. Jijii smirked, she didn't know what Lucy had made him see but it was obviously efficient.

 _Cosmo, you little fool._ One should never trust Lucy's smiles for she hid a true mischievous soul behind her innocent eyes.

"Attack!" Sammy yelled before jumping from the captain's shoulders onto Cosmo's. Lucy tackled him and he tripped, head first in the water.

Sammy high fived Lucy, feeling just as proud to have win the game. Merryn barked a few feet away and JIjii wondered if she was cheering for Lucy, or making fun of Cosmo.

Both. Probably both. Both was good.

"We never said they were rules!" Lucy laughed, removing seaweeds from Cosmo's wet hair. He grunted, refusing to take the hand she offered him, too suspicious after what she had just done to him.

"Come on children, get back! Dinner's ready!" Jijii smiled once more at the sudden common interest that displayed on their face. Merryn galloped towards her, sparing Sammy's sandcastle and teleporting herself in front of her. The hound shook off the sand off her fur - even after spending hours in the water she was already dry because of the heat that constantly emanated from her body.

Outdistanced by Sammy, thrilled by the idea of grilled fish, Cosmo and Lucy arrived a few minute afterwards, their hair wet and back covered in sand. Seemed Cosmo had found some kind of revenge on the younger girl. Soon after, a pile of dry towels appeared in front of them and they were able to clean themselves up. Jijii was amazed by the usefulness of Lucy's ability whether it was on a battlefield or a lost beach in the middle of nowhere.

Grudges never last long between the two and when Jijii looked away from the fire, Cosmo was already braiding Lucy's hair while she attempted to untangle Sammy's.

Sammy, starving from all the swimming and castle building he had done during the afternoon, was already gnawing on his skewer.

"Look!" He exclaimed, careful to finish what he had in his mouth before he talked, his finger pointing at the ocean behind them. "Everything is red!"

With the sunset, beautiful crimson hues colored both the sky and the ocean.

"You're right Sammy, a gorgeous sunset for our awesome Cap! Happy Birthday Luce!"

Sammy and Jijii sang, joined by Merryn's howls while Cosmo proceeded to open the bottle they had bought a few hours ago. Jijii had no doubt he was singing in Lucy's head too.

Jijii missed her family, but she knew that a new one had adopted her and she wouldn't exchange that small moment of peace for anything.

She took her glass and raised it in the air.

"Cheers! To all the scarlet sunsets to come!"

"Thanks guys, you're the best," Lucy kept smiling and hugged them tightly, biting one last chocolate biscuit. "I hadn't seen the ocean in so long, today was a blast!"

The five of them enjoyed the remaining of their dinner and emptied the content of their bottle. Tangled up together, they fell asleep under the stars, just like in the old times.

Jijii opened her eyes, surprised not to feel Lucy by her side anymore. Night had come down and dark clouds now covered the moonless sky. The fire had run out and a shiver ran through her skin. Her flames sputtered in her palms, warming her up slowly. Merryn wasn't there either, she realized. The two had probably went for a late night walk under the stars, there was nothing to worry about. They often did that as both couldn't sleep for long when they weren't staying in familiar surroundings.

A scream suddenly tore through the night.

 _Lucy!_

Jijii bolted on her feet, picking her sword on the ground. She turned back to the camp in an attempt to wake the boys up but they were gone, the blanket still warm from their presence.

Jijii spinned her head around, calling out for them. She ran towards the cliff where the scream had come from - Lucy's scream.

She wasn't used to run on the sand and her slowered and sloppy pace upsetted her even more. She needed to go faster. Something was wrong with this place. When it once looked like a small preserved haven it now reeked of danger. She could hear the waves crashing on the shore, their noise amplified by her lack of sight. The wind howled, and thrashed with her flames, nearly snuffing them out. She was out of breath and could feel her heart beating erratically in her chest. Her hair was drenched in sweat but she kept running, trying to make her way through the night.

She kept calling for her friends, her throat sore with the effort.

She tripped on a rock and fell on the ground, her hand reaching out to protect her. Her fingers dived into the soil, her flames dying out.

A familiar metallic smell filled her nostrils and a sob escaped her lips.

She knew that smell. It haunted each and every of her nightmares and memories.

 _Blood_.

The whole place stank of it. She wanted to puke, trying desperately to get a hold on her breathing and on the panic that was building inside her. She called out once more, her voice covered by the howls of the wind. Sand carried by the gusts scratched her face and bare arms.

The wind stopped, but only for a new enemy to take its lead. Darkness moved around her, groping her like thousand arms. She screamed, previous nightmares coming back to haunt her. She shouted Lucy's name, fighting off the drowsiness in her limbs. She couldn't be stopped now. She heard loud and clear her survival instincts screaming at her to flee and get away. To get out of here.

Everything was dark.

She couldn't breath, couldn't speak anymore and only felt the pain that was spreading like wildfire in her chest. She couldn't even feel the ground underneath her feet anymore and was left with the impression that she was falling. The darkness around her was drowning her.

She couldn't move an inch and the only thing she could hear was Lucy's scream. Over and over again, pounding in her head like a never ending blow. She squinted her eyes shut, screaming as her flames burst out of her palm in a last attempt to shove away the danger, burning through her own clothes and skin.

A black raven burst through the darkness, diving in her direction.

Deploying his wings he didn't hesitate at the sight of the flames and crossed the firewall.

Jijii woke up against the hard wooden table, gasping for breath. She tumbled to the ground, unable to focus on her surroundings. But when she regained her balance it was only to realise that her nightmare hadn't been the only reason for her to wake up.

Everywhere around her, pots crashed to the floor and exploded, spilling their content on the floor.

Jijii's eyes went wide.

 _No! No no no!_

She ran outside the room, the same sight welcoming her as she crossed all the corridors. All over Scarlet Kaida, objects from shelves to simple pins, vanished in mid air. Objects Lucy had created with her magic. Objects that could only disappear if she decided to. Or if she ran out of energy.

Or worse.

/

Lo stared at her steaming cup, pouring another spoonful of honey into it. Honey milk had always done the trick to calm her down until now. Her fingers clinged to the porcelain, feeling the warmth on her palms before it was gone. Her mug had sat in front of her for a whole minute now but she hadn't touched it. Honey would do nothing to ease the worry that was eating her alive.

Aria had come to the lab earlier, asking for Cosmo and her to take a break from their non-stop searching. No leads, no answers. And with each passing day the chances to get any withered away.

In times like this, her dreamer side took over her scientific spirit and she wished she could control time. It flew too fast and without her noticing, a week had already gone by. She wished she could stop the running pace of her watch hands, wished she could go back in time and keep Lucy from disappearing. Keep her from leaving at all…

But she couldn't. It was impossible and all she could do was try her best. And as it hasn't resolved anything until now, she'd have to try harder.

Cosmo and Aria sat around the table with her, the usual beeping of Scarlet Kaida's autopilot being the only sound that broke their silence.

"How long did the two of you had planned to stay in that lab if I had not come to get you?" Aria asked, shoving away her own cup of tea. "Hours? Days? You two need to rest..."

" _Because you think Lucy would?"_ Cosmo signed angrily, the purple circles under his tired eyes highlighted the blue flames that burned there. " _No. If anything was to happen to any of us she would not sleep until she found a solution and got us back."_

"This would kill her and this is why Jijii is there at her side." Aria answered, putting a gentle hand on Cosmo's fists and placing them back on the table. "To stop her from making stupid decisions like that."

"Yeah right," Lo scoffed bitterly, her gaze still staring at the milky swirls. "So using her illusions and trick her own lieutenant was not a stupid decision maybe?"

"We don't know what happened, Lo… Lucy probably didn't have any other choices. We weren't there. So stop doing that to your head. Stop trying to imagine what could have happen if we'd been there and what could have changed. Trust me. You don't want to do that to yourself."

Aria observed her friends. Hunched backs, they didn't reply to her, their gaze lost at the bottom of their cup. She had seen that look too many times to count and she knew, with her past as a spy and field officer, what was running through their minds. In times like this, she wished she had her captain's powers and could swift away those dark thoughts from their minds. It wasn't doing them any good.

Lo's head startled.

"What is it?" Aria asked, concerned.

"My spoon…" She muttered, her voice so low Aria had barely heard it.

"What about it?"

"It's… It's gone." Lo looked up, bewildered.

"What do you mean it's gone? Spoon don't just disappear like that. Maybe you need more sleep than I thought."

But Aria's joking tone died on her lips when Merryn suddenly teleported into the room, her dark swirls revealing a livid Sammy in Tori's arms. A painful wince all over his face. The screens on the walls suddenly light up, a red signal flashing in the middle of it, displaying coordinates she had never seen.

Jijii burst into the room, her breathing uneven, horror in her eyes.

This is then that Aria noticed it. Lucy's creations vanishing all around. Frames suddenly falling from the wall and crashing on the ground, glass shattering in pieces. One of the trees crashed from its spot, its pot gone.

"What is going on?!" She shouted, horrified by the scenery displaying in front of her eyes.

Hazel dashed from her spot at the other side of the main room and ran towards the screen, her fingers rushing on the keyboards.

Crewmembers flowed into the room, alerted and awoken by the noises. Everywhere around the ship, Lucy's magic was disappearing. Behind them, the black flag of Scarlet Kaida plummeted to the ground and they all watched as it fell, unable to do anything or process any words.

All stared, horrified and lost, as an image appeared on the screens. Hazel's fingers stopped their racing dance and she covered her mouth, tears picking at the corners of her eyes.

The distress call led to a faraway location in another solar system but nothing lied there anymore. Nothing except for floating space debris.

Sammy jumped from Tori's arms and he walked towards Jijii. The young boy's face was just as livid as the lieutenant's. Gripping at her shirt's hems he slowly asked, his voice betraying his emotions.

"Is that…"

"Yes." Jijii's answered before he even got to finish his sentence. Her last statement fell like an ax. "It's Atlantis. It's Lucy's homeplanet..."

Jijii's fists tightened in her hoodie's pockets, nails dug in her palms. Anger and grief growled inside her. She hadn't seen Atlantis in decades and had never thought she would see it again. And especially not in such a state. The scene of devastation deprived her from her words.

Was there a link between Lucy's magic disappearing and Atlantis's destruction? No. Fire still burned on her hands. She hadn't lost her magic and Lucy shouldn't have lost hers because of that either.

Atlantean's magic didn't depend on their planet but on their own energy and surroundings. The planet had nothing to do with that. So if Lucy's magic was gone all of a sudden it could only mean two things. Either Lucy was in a terrible danger and her survival instincts had kicked in and were destroying any useless creations to retrieve any sources of energy or... she was gone for good.

Jijii refused to believe the second outcome. It couldn't be it. No. She had the selfish thought that if anything like that were to happen, she would know. That she would feel it inside her. Just like she had felt it when Eliott and Yoann had been killed by Zarkon's army. She would _know_.

Jijii tried to ignore the dormant bridge in her head. Her bond with Lucy was too strong for her not to realise if Lucy wasn't on the other side, right? After all those years, after all the things they had gone through together…

Lucy wasn't gone yet. She couldn't be. She still had so many things to do, so many chapters of her life to live. Grow old, teach even more stuff to her Scarlet boy, bring everyone back home, fulfill so many of her dreams. She had so many hopes for the future. She couldn't disappear in the middle of the journey. Not now. Not ever. She was barely 20 years old. She had centuries in front of her. She _couldn't_ be dead.

People may say to her that she was in denial, may call her cruel or selfish, but she didn't care. Lucy was not gone. There was no way around it. She was still striving, trying to survive, somewhere. And she wasn't going to last long if Jijii didn't find her quickly. It was her mission to protect her, to make sure she always got home safe. Sammy wasn't giving up and she wouldn't either.

Her vision haunted her and played once more in her head. She felt the darkness surrounding her, smelled the blood and heard the howls of the wind. She saw the black wings of the raven all over again, the way her flames had reflected in his glinting irises before he flew right through them…

Unlike many believed, crows weren't the bearer of death. Eliott had taught her that once. Able to travel between the world of light and shadow, crows carried messages between the different dimensions. And this one made no exception. Lucy's pleas echoed in her head, her voice broken and sore with tears.

 _Help me._

 _Help me._

 _Help me…_

told you this chapter was all about angst *insert angel face*

I FINALLY GOT TO CROSS "ATLANTIS KABOOM" FROM MY BRAINSTORM CHECKLIST! BEEN WAITING TO CROSS THOSE TWO FUCKING WORDS FOR MONTHS! since august when i started it but still. and yes, no kidding it really is the way i named that scene. atlantis kaboom. no shame 3

 **and now to heal your precious souls YOU CAN GO READ SCARLET KAIDA ORIGINS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF IT (don't forget to vote for me too 3). I PROMISE IT IS 1000000000000000000000000% FLUFF. I never wrote so much fluff.**

fresh note from Jijii who just finished reading the chap in one go :

FUCK YES THIS WAS AN AWESOME CHAP BB. YOUR HARD WORK WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT! ! !i know what's going to happen but IT'S ALWAYS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I GET TO READ IT! go and hurry and post that on AO3 bb, make them all scream and hate the fact that they love you ;)


	12. Things always come in threes

Notes: IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS CHAPTER AND THE ONE TO COME: I PLANNED THIS STORY (and therefore all the chaps to come) BACK IN AUGUST 2017 WHEN THE SEASON WITH LOTOR HADNT DROP: which means: The paladins - and no one - knows about Lotor - hence the question on why Lucy knows him huhu (and i guess my version of lotor in SK is now ooc since the AWESOME season 5 dropped but i don't care and I hope you won't mind either.) More good news: i finished writing this chapter on monday which means i've already started to write chapter 13 and chapter 14 is already brainstormed too. So hopefully i'll be able to post it next week (something will be revealed to the crew and more cracks in the wall will apear noot noot) PALADIN POV ARE BACK: with how the story is getting, i'm happy to tell you that of you enjoy pidge pov you'll get a huge part in hers today and i think... you can look forward to lance's in the future ;)

Sammy's fingers clung to Jijii's hoodie. Unable to tear his gaze off the screen he could only feel the pain in his stomach. The same one that had knocked out his breath earlier in the hangar. He knew he wasn't hurt, knew everything was fine with him and yet it had suddenly felt like someone was diving their claws into his chest. It hurt. And even though it had slowly faded away, it was still there, a continuous sting in the back of his mind.

The place where Lucy's warm presence usually was, had been replaced by this numbing pain. And now that he was seeing the images on the screen he was afraid of what it could mean. Atlantis was there. Atlantis was destroyed. Atlantis was gone. Where a prosperous planet once was, only debris lingered.

Lucy had taught him everything she knew about her planet. The name of its oceans, the creatures that inhabited them, the birds that flew above the clouds, bigger than anything he had ever seen. The West Region and its volcanoes, the East and the Never-Ending Forest, the glaciers of the south and the pearl-like glow of the moons at night. She had told him about the powers that people possessed there and the colors plastered on every wall. The streets, the houses, everything was colorful and with the help of their abilities, flowers always bloomed in the capital. She had told him everything there was to know about the food, the languages, the old deities and the traditions.

Sammy knew so much of Atlantis that he had dreamed of it. He had fallen asleep so many times to the sound of the waterfalls she had described, bluebirds singing lullabies into his ears. He had always wanted to know more and whenever she came at night to tell him stories, he would always ask for her to narrate more and more anecdotes. Jijii would sometimes join them and add more details to the new tales, Lucy focused on creating vivid images in his mind.

She had once created its solar system for him, so of course he had recognized Atlantis, but he had asked Jijii anyway because somehow, he still hoped that what he was seeing wasn't true. That the pain in his chest and mind wasn't there. That the tears and shock he saw in everyone's eyes wasn't real. That everything was just another dream.

But when he looked at Jijii again, the only thing he could see was her clenched jaw and her unreadable eyes.

A familiar hand fell on his shoulder. Cosmo had come closer to them, concern all over his face. He grasped Jijii's elbow and the look he saw on her face wasn't anymore her usual fierce and warm grin. She eyed at him before looking once again at the screen and its flashing red dots and popping messages.

Sammy's lips trembled at Jijii's words.

"How am I going to tell her that her home is gone, Cosmo?"

 _Home_.

Jijii had drawn a line on Atlantis a long time ago now. So many years had passed, so many things had happened. And she had never thought of going back. Never thought she'd be able to.

But Lucy had.

Lucy had always planned to go back. She had memories there and probably a huge and loving family waiting for her. Her life was there. Once the war was over, once everyone was safe and sound, this is the first place she wanted to go. Where she wanted to bring her and the rest of her little squad. She wanted to reconnect with her roots and she wanted them to be with her.

 _You, me, Sammy, Cosmo, and Merryn; together just like the old times!_

Her little squad.

That's how she used to call them when they were only the five of them. Before Scarlet Kaida. Before Deandra, before Lo, before everyone else followed in her footprints. They were each other's family and they weren't going to leave each other.

Stick together. That had always been the plan they were supposed to follow.

Cosmo, Sammy, Merryn, and Jijii had nowhere else to go. More than Scarlet Kaida, Lucy was home to them. She had given them a purpose in life, had lightened up once more the flame in their heart. They couldn't go on without her. _She_ couldn't.

Jijii knew that she wouldn't have last much longer in the arena if Lucy hadn't shown up. What was the point? Eliott and Yoann were gone, there was nothing to hold her back in this world. Nothing except for the anger against the Galra and her thirst for revenge. Soon a new champion would come and take her place. She didn't care if she died, the only thing she didn't want was to die as a toy to the Galra empire entertainment.

And so, she had kept fighting, defeating challenger after challenger, arena after arena, day after day. Years blending with each other; until a body was thrown into her cell on the way to another location.

A frail body compared to the other fighters she had seen.

A frail, bruised and shivering body.

Sammy's silent sobs brought her back to reality and she picked him up in her arms, his shaking hands holding onto her hood.

 _Just like he used to do when he was younger…_

And as his tears kept falling on her shoulder, she kept rocking him in her arms, staring at the wall with a new kind of determination in her veins; Merryn's howl echoing her thoughts.

"Don't cry Scarlet Boy, we're going to bring mama home."

/

Mixer in hand, Ash stood in the kitchen, staring into the bottom of the bowl. The dough was ready, she didn't need to whisk it anymore. She could stop. But she didn't. Set on automatic mode, her hand wouldn't stop moving. No matter what was the situation she still needed to feed her scarlet souls and had had to step out of the main room earlier. Even from the kitchen, she could still feel the tension emanating from there, the sadness and the despair.

The regular chopping sound of the knife, the purring of the oven as the dough swelled under its heat, the boiling water and the smell of caramelized butter and fresh bakery… Cooking had always been part of her life and she had always loved the safe haven Scarlet Kaida's kitchen had become. It was her own little world.

But today didn't feel the same. She felt empty. All of her spirit was gone.

She stared at the cooking book opened on the other side of the counter. The other day she'd been working on it with Lo and Jijii, trying to find the best recipes for this special day and she hadn't put it back on the shelves. She didn't have had the courage to put it back and now her red notes seemed to eye at her, reminding her of how fucked up everything was.

Tori, her best friend since she was a child, her partner in crime, was back. Today was Lucy's birthday, today should have been a happy day full of celebration and laughter but destiny had decided otherwise and had kept playing with them.

Ash had never been so willing to shut everything up, leave and go hide away in a faraway forgotten corner of the universe and live there, away from everything. Away from the war, the conflict and the bomb that was soon going to explode among the crew.

She was worn out. She knew it wasn't the time to be tired, quite the contrary it was time for them to find it in themselves to fight back and hustle harder. But how did people do that?

She didn't have the answer.

She didn't know how she was supposed to go on like this. A week had gone by since Lucy was gone, they didn't know where she was and now Atlantis was destroyed and Lucy's magic had disappeared from Scarlet Kaida's decks. What were they going to do? What _could_ they do? What could happen tomorrow that would lead them to Lucy when seven days hadn't given them any lead?

The tension was overwhelming and gnawing at her. She wasn't made for that kind of stress and pressure. Losing battles, losing friends but going forward anyway.

Just like the paladins of Voltron, she, Natsilane and Tori, had been thrown into that war out of the blue, three humans involved in a thousands-year-old war. What could they change? They didn't know, but meeting Lucy and her crew had changed their way of seeing things. One single being could change the course of the battle.

Just like that unknown enemy who Lucy had encountered had changed the course of the most important battle against the Empire in ten thousand years. Great.

 _When is it going to end?_

She just wanted a break.

"Don't worry Ash," Tori whispered softly, removing blue locks from her friend's face, "Everything is going to be okay." Ash hadn't realized she had spoken aloud. "We'll find Lucy, we'll bring her back and whoever new creepy alien thought it was a good idea to mess with us that day, is going to realize it was a really, _really_ bad idea."

"If you say so."

"I do! And I mean… Kick ass, go to space and represent the human race, am I right?"

Ash chuckled only Tori could bring back such jokes - becoming a mother and taking care of all the children had never taken away the true prankster she was. No one could take away her joyful and encouraging spirit.

"Yes, you're right."

 _Hold on Lucy, we'll come for you._

/

In times like this, Pidge really liked being small. She could walk through the corridors of Scarlet Kaida without being noticed and even if she was, the crew was too deep in their dark thoughts to chat with her like they would have done two or even three weeks ago.

Before Deandra's death. Before D-Day. Before Lucy went missing.

She felt a lump in her stomach. Too many things had happened in the span of a few days to her taste and she hated the heavy atmosphere that now inhabited Scarlet Kaida's walls. Bothered at first by its never-ending brouhaha - so different from the usual soothing silence of the castle - and the many people that swarmed there, Pidge found herself missing the music and the loud conversations. A striking silence was how one could now describe the life on Scarlet Kaida.

And Pidge had to admit that it broke her little hermit heart to see them, day after day, lose any kind of hope they had left. The once loud and crazy pirates they had first met were now desperate and hollow. Atlantis' destruction and Lucy's magic disappearing had been the final blow, that much she understood.

On her way to the main room to join Shiro and Keith, she had crossed path with Zamia and Aria in front of the memory wall. More pictures had been added to it, trinkets pinned on one other. Lucy hadn't been the only one to go missing apparently… The coalition, the Blade, Scarlet Kaida - they all had lost men during that battle.

Safe in the cockpits of their lions, she and the other had left it without a scratch. A weird guilt-like feeling would sometimes settle in her stomach as she crossed path with the crew. They had lost so much and she didn't want to be an everyday reminder of that. She wanted to help them as hard as she could to find their captain once more, in hope that everything would go back to normal afterward.

As normal as a war could be.

Pidge sighed, hearing from afar the shouts in the main room. There was another reason why she hated the atmosphere that had taken over Scarlet Kaida. It reminded her of home and of the Galaxy Garrison. Reminded her of the day those two officers had come home to tell her and her mom that her brother and father were gone.

 _"Kerberos mission was a failure. Matthew and Samuel Holt are dead."_

She could still hear their voices, cold and emotionless as if they weren't phased by such news anymore. Could still recall her mother breaking down in the hall, so shocked that she couldn't even shed tears. She had remained there, on her knees for a good hour before she started wailing in her arms. Pidge could still remember the look of the generals and officers when she barged into their room to get answers. Shiro was the best pilot in Garrison history, how could this have happened?

Pidge was seeing all over again, on Scarlet Kaida this time, the look of defeated people but also the anger in other people's eyes or the fierce will that burned in the Lieutenant's. She reminded her of herself, persuaded, _sure_ , that the Garrison was lying to them, was hiding the truth. Something else had happened. There was still hope. Her brother and dad weren't dead and she was going to prove them wrong.

And then Shiro had crashed on Earth, they had found Allura and the five of them had become the paladins of Voltron and had been thrown into an intergalactic war, unbeknownst to them until now, that had been raging for ten thousand years. And as much as her paladin duties occupied her mind, Pidge wasn't forgetting her main objective: bring Matt and her dad home.

And she was sure Julie Teerah Eterna wasn't going to change her mind on the matter either. Even if all the crew turned against her she'd fight any enemies that'd come her way and would go retrieve her friend. There was no way around it. And Pidge understood that. She'd do the same for her dad and brother. Even if it meant making a deal with Zarkon himself.

Even though, she guessed, it was one of the outcomes she could cross off of her list of crazy things she could do to get them back, as Zarkon was dead. He was, right?

Another sigh escaped her lips, already regretting her choice of being a decent human being and joining the others in the room. They were supposed to discuss what they were going to do, given all the unknown elements in the equation, but all she could hear behind the door couldn't be defined as a conversation between decent human beings.

 _But then again, they're not human._

"Lucy is gone, Jijii! Isn't it enough proof?" Hazel had been the one to speak up and Pidge could see, from where she stood in the entrance, the glare that Jijii was giving her. "Her magic is gone. Her planet is gone. There is no reason to rub more salt on the wound. She wouldn't want us to chase after ghosts."

"She. Is. Not." Jijii seethed, insisting on every word, fists clenched on the wooden table. Without all of its decoration, the room appeared bigger and creepier to Pidge. It was lifeless and didn't have the same warm atmosphere than it had before. The two pirate women, nearly at each other throats, weren't helping the situation either.

"Yes, she is! And if you want my opinion, this is all your fault! How could you believe it was her? How could you let her down? HOW?" Hazel's long blond hair did nothing to hide the tears that were gleaming at the corner of her eyes.

"Hazel, stop it!" The usually calm and silent navigator was a raging fury, and both Tori and Aeris got up at the same moment, putting strong hands on her shoulders.

"No! How can you stand sitting at this table with her when she's the one responsible for all this?! She claims that she's Lucy's best friend, that she knows her better than anyone and yet she failed to recognize her power! She sent her to her own death!"

"Hazel, stop!" Aeris shouted. "You're not thinking straight."

"It is not the time to talk about that. We need to find a plan. Not tear each other apart! If there's one thing Lucy wouldn't want, it's to see her family yell at each other. So, stop it!" Pidge recognized the efficient tone of a mother scold. Tori's aura was absolutely terrifying, even though she hadn't even raise her voice.

"A plan? A plan!" Hazel threw her arms into the air, pushing Aeris' away. "Because it's true it worked out so well the first time! We should never have joined the coalition! We should have stayed on our own!"

"So, you would let all those innocents die? You would let Zarkon rule for countless of years? Live through the same fate as you did?"

"What would it change anyway? We weren't the one to kill Zarkon! But oh yes, I know what it would change. Lucy wouldn't be dead!"

Aside from the black and red paladins, a few other members of the crew were sitting at the table and all stared at Tori and Hazel, eyeing from the corner of their eyes the erupting volcano that was their lieutenant sitting at their side and about to erupt.

Like master, like dog, huh? Because surely right now, Pidge could make no difference between Merryn and the rising growl in Jijii's throat. This conversation which had already started on the wrong side was about to go to a next and worse level and Pidge didn't want to see that. She had never enjoyed being part of such scenes, but witnessing one was even worse.

"Lucy is _not_ dead," Jijii seethed once more, her seat scratching the floor as she got up, her glare piercing through Hazel. "And I will not believe in her death until her cold corpse is lying in my arms. So, you can throw all the tantrum you want Hazel but don't think you're hitting me with your words. It won't change my resolve. Ever."

"How can you talk about her like that, you _monster_." Hazel's voice had come down to a whisper, obviously disgusted by what Jijii had just said.

"I couldn't care less about your opinion."

"ENOUGH!" This time, Aeris had been the one to shout and Pidge understood why Lucy had chosen her to be the commander of her units: much like Allura, she had a very powerful authority. But as much as it was efficient on people, Aeris could do nothing to keep the alert to blaze once more into the room. "What's that?!"

"I don't know!" Hazel answered, her rage replaced by fear as she stared at the new messages that popped on her screens. "It's not coming from the ship!"

"It's coming from the Green Lion."

Everyone turned back to Pidge, the surprised look on their face informed her that in fact, they hadn't seen her coming in and that therefore, she could have escaped this stressful environment earlier.

 _Damn it._

"What do you mean it's coming from the Green Lion, Pidge?" Shiro inquired worriedly.

"It means, that as we've linked our system with Scarlet Kaida's to merge and synchronize our data the other day. We're getting here all of the signals that the Castle is picking up. Or the Lions."

"Still doesn't explain the alert blazing through our ears, paladin!"

"The other day," Pidge started, answering the Lieutenant's concerned tone, "after the prison attack we analyzed the data we had managed to hack with Hunk. The galran servers had been compromised with an unusual pattern and that same pattern has been used to hack Zarkon's mothership. And as unusual as it is, it's therefore easily trackable so I set the green lion, which has a better reach with its different radars and such, to alert us, if it was to come back. Which is apparently the case."

"So what does that mean?" Keith had already grasped his dagger and helmet at his side and was ready to go. Pidge knew he had understood that whatever she was going to tell them wasn't going to be good news.

 _Hence the red alert. He isn't that oblivious after all._

"It means that the same person who came before us at the prison and outraced us in Zarkon's headquarters is attacking another target. But this time, it's apparently heading toward a planet!"

Everyone gasped at her revelation and bolted from their seat.

"We have to get there!"

"We have to tell Allura and go back to the castle!"

"And to do what?" Jijii asked Shiro, "You're down two Lions and you can't form Voltron. It'd be losing time and energy. Send her a message and tell her to join us there. You'll get to your Lions from there but we have to do the jump right now before it's too late."

Shiro nodded, realizing with dread that indeed, Hunk and Lance weren't back from their meeting with Luxia. Jijii was right, Scarlet Kaida still had useful defenses and once the castle would join them they'd at least be able to retrieve their Lions and fight back. If they were lucky, Lance and Hunk would get the message in time and would be able to join them too - if they weren't already on their way back. Which would help a lot.

This was also the first time since the battle at the headquarters that they heard from that new unknown enemy, so they needed to take their chance to catch them.

Hazel ran to the command room and a few seconds later, Scarlet Kaida was in front of the planet indicated by the green Lion. When they reached the town however, it was already too late. The attackers were already gone and the town was in ruins.

All of Scarlet Kaida members went out of the ship and surrounded the area, making sure there were no other threats or enemies waiting to ambush them.

Jijii rushed to the main square. Children were crying, dread and panic still fresh in their mind. The adults weren't handling the situation any better and many cried in front of the ruins that had been their home.

A man came to them, worried at first to see so many soldiers arrive at their village. Jijii guessed that he was the chief of the town. The green man was livid.

"We're not the enemy!" She assured him, putting her rifle to her side. "We come to protect you! What happened here?!"

"Voltron."

His voice was barely but a whisper and if Jijii hadn't been so close she doubted she would have even heard him. But she didn't comprehend what the man had just said. "I beg your pardon?"

"Voltron did this!" He cried out, opening his arms to show the ruins around him. "They attacked us and destroyed everything! Look at this! The hospital, the school, the houses, our temple! Everything is destroyed!"

"Surely you're mistaken Voltron couldn't-"

He wasn't thinking straight anymore. Voltron couldn't have done that because first of all, they were on their side, then Keith and the others were with them all along and they couldn't form Voltron because Hunk and Lance were away. She had said it herself earlier, it was impossible.

But why was she even analyzing this man's words? He was completely crazy. That or the shock of the battle had done some serious trouble to his brain and short time memory. But Jijii couldn't help but look at the villagers and all of them were nodding, agreeing with their chief's words.

Jijii turned around and started to head back, the village's chief asking for her to make those bastards pay for what they had done.

Merryn appeared at her side, scaring the green man to death. If the hound had come back so fast that could only mean that whoever had attacked the town was already gone. "What the fuckity fuck is going on, Merryn?"

Merryn whined at her despaired tone and Jijii sighed once more, picking up the communication device Allura had given them days ago to join the castle when they weren't on Scarlet Kaida. The three paladins had joined the castle and should be arriving anytime soon. Which was a terrible idea considering the news the chief had just told her. The device crackled in her ears and she warned them immediately.

"Do not join us."

"What? Why?" Shiro answered right away.

"Those people are persuaded Voltron attacked them." She deadpanned.

"What?!"

Jijii winced, her left eardrum ringing. Seriously why did they have to shout all together in her ear so hard? Ugh. "Yes. Voltron's lasers are, according to them, responsible for all this mess. I don't think coming here with your Lions would be a great idea."

"What do we do then?" Allura asked in a calmer tone this time, sparing Jijii's ears.

"We're heading back to the ship. The attackers, Voltron clone or whatever, are obviously gone and we can't be of any help here. Ask Pidge to verify if she can't track any more signals."

"Copy that."

Jijii ended the com with the castle and motioned to her unit the new orders. Her cape battled behind her with the wind.

"Aren't they supposed to protect the population?" The chief shouted, 'Why did they turn against us?"

Jijii had no answer to that and hurried to Scarlet Kaida. It seemed that Destiny or the universe or whatever shit was having a blast at creating new troubles for them.

 _What the hell is going on?_

As soon as they reached the castle's hangar, Merryn teleported her to Allura's location. Standing by the castle's commands, Allura, Coran and the three paladins stared at her. Expecting more explanations on the matter than they had gotten until now.

But what was she supposed to tell them? All the villagers had stated the same thing, fear in their eyes as they told them how Voltron had attacked them, destroying everything on its trail. But it was clearly impossible and either they had all eaten some weird new hallucinogenic mixture and had destroyed their own village, or they had a much bigger problem on their hands than they first thought.

When everything was over she was going to retire, settle in a cozy house and roll in her bed and take a nap. She was definitely getting too old for that shit. Didn't they deserve some rest?

"Captain, what happened down there?!"

"I have no idea, Princess. The dust from the explosion hadn't even settled down yet. They were attacked by I don't what and they all claimed it was Voltron. Which is impossible."

"Indeed." Allura's concerned face didn't help Jijii calm down. Seriously? What was going on with the universe? What was its problem with them? She swore the same questions were running through Allura's mind.

"But what could cause such things? Did they all have some hallucinogenic mushroom party together?" Pidge asked, gears working at full regime behind her glasses. "The only time I saw such believes would be when Lucy used-"

"No!" Jijii disclaimed, "Lucy would never do that!"

"We don't know what happened to her," Allura added, making a few steps toward Jijii. "We don't know where she is. What if her powers had fallen into the wrong hands? Surely you've thought of that outcome before."

Jijii clenched her teeth. Of course, she had thought about that, who did she think she was? She was the lieutenant, it was her job to think of the worse situations and find solutions to prevent them. There were only a few reasons that could keep Lucy away from them for so long: she had traveled once more to another universe, she'd been captured by the enemy, she had been killed or worst of all, her power wasn't hers anymore. One of Lucy's worst fear.

"And with that new enemy out there," Allura continued, "it's a possibility we can't ignore anymore."

Jijii did her best to control the fire that was about to burst from her fists. It couldn't be. There had to be another explanation. Surely-

But another alert cut her short in her train of thoughts.

"Again!?" Allura's high pitched voice asked as Pidge's fingers ran over her keyboards.

"This fucking alarm has rung too much today and it better be the last time!"

 _You hear me Universe? I asked for a good nap and my cuddle buddy back. Not another alarm you bastard!_

"It's an external transmission coming from an unknown server!" Pidge's fingers hurried on her screens, swiping thumbnails and screens away. "And it's on the same canal that Zarkon used to use for messages meant for all to see. All across the Empire, everyone is seeing this message."

Allura didn't have time to give her orders that a new tab opened on the big screen. The image crackled and Jijii gasped, seeing the face that had appeared on the screen.

A face Jijii hadn't seen in ages. A face Jijii had wished to never see ever again. Someone who she'd believed dead for years.

" _Lotor!_ "

The horror in her tone made the others tilt their head in her direction. She stepped backward, staring at Cosmo. He was livid, his eyes wide and focused on the dagger Lotor was wearing at his belt.

Lucy's dagger.

Jijii stared back at the screen, analyzing everything she could see behind him. She knew this place, knew where he was. She needed to go. If Lotor had Lucy she had even more reasons to get her back: Lucy's life was at stake. She couldn't just sit there anymore when he knew she had her.

Lucy could survive anything. She had survived the arena, had fought so many battles and had been through so much in the past few years. Jijii trusted her and knew she could defend herself, knew she could survive anything during the time they get back to her.

Lucy always came back home after all. And she had her powers, she could be on her own for awhile. No matter who she needed to face.

Unless this enemy was Lotor.

Jijii lifted her hand on Merryn's neck, a silent order to get her out and teleport her somewhere else. Jijii needed to go back to her room right away. The hound blinked and one second later they were gone.

Jijii didn't have time for explanations, she knew that Lotor was Lucy's weakness, and if she too, had believed him dead all those years, it could only make things worse. Either Lucy would be overwhelmed by rage and bloodlust, or she would crush under the weight of all her nightmares coming back to life. And Jijii liked none of those two outcomes. She needed to retrieve her.

And she needed to act fast.

Notes: what is Jijii going to dooooo  
what is happeningggggg I hope you enjoyed the chap! Did you scream? Did you cry? Did you laugh? Did you smile? Tell me all about it in the comment or DM me on Instagram/tumblr and i'll be happy to chat with you 3 More good news: i finished writing this chapter on monday which means i've already started to write chapter 13 and chapter 14 is already brainstormed too. So hopefully i'll be able to post it next week (something will be revealed to the crew and more cracks in the wall will apear noot noot). i hope you'll scream with me (me in happiness and you in despair as always 3) AND ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING IM STILL FREAKING ABOUT IS: pookelucy on tumblr/insta is currently drawing the crew! / Lucy Fair, Merryn, cosmo, jijii, lo, ash, hazel, deandra, sammy, zamia, aria, aeris, Natsilane, tori... everyone will be there ! 33 +++++  
IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS CHAPTER AND THE ONE TO COME: I PLANNED THIS STORY (and therefore all the chaps to come) BACK IN AUGUST 2017 WHEN THE SEASON WITH LOTOR HADNT DROP: which means: The paladins - and no one - knows about Lotor - hence the question on why Lucy knows him huhu (and i guess my version of lotor in SK is now ooc since the AWESOME season 5 dropped but i don't care and I hope you won't mind either.)  
+++++


	13. Cracks in the walls

So i didn't intended to split this chapter, if you follow me on insta ( little_dragon_writes) you may have seen how big the chap kept growing and growing but i never thought of stopping it or splitting it. but today i thought of splitting it because i was realizing that exams are coming and i'd never be able to post the chapter befirehand. I've been on it before chapter 12 was out because i had finished it days before posting it so it's been nearly three weeks now. And i was like 'maybe i can split it here, after all the first part would already be 6k words' and then 10 mins later 'oh nice this part is 4k words! ...wait. if i have 4k here and 6k above... OH SHIT THE CHAP IS OVER 10K WORDS O. M. G." so yeah i decided to split it. And this way you get a part, i satisfy mself by posting something now and it gfive me time to finish the last scene of part 2; because yes technically there's only one scene missing of what was originally part of chap 13 but it's nearly another 3k words long scene (just like the beginning of this chap) and i didn't want to rush it. because i've been on ot for days and i know i have a tendancy to rush the final of chaps because i get too excitedd. And this part? oh boy. i've been waiting to write and pst it since OCTOBER or so so you bet IM DYING for you to read this part. but no. you'll have a to wait a little.

oh and? It's been three weeks that i know so it kinda settled in for me but not for you. with this chap? Scarlet Kaida reached 60k words / so thanks for reading and keeping to support me and this story that only started as a silly project but turned out much MUCH bigger than expected. Love you all and i hope you'll enjoy this chap as much as i enjoyed writing it (much longer than chap 12 but i did not struggled AT all compared to the bitch that chap12 was for me to write lol)

 _ **ENJOY! and dont forget to leave your feedbacks 3**_

Cosmo didn't waste any second and ran for the exit. Heading for Scarlet Kaida, where he knew Jijii had teleported. He was sure everyone would be running after them both soon, seeing their surprised look and the confusion in their gazes, but he knew what he had to do. He knew that he had to catch up with Jijii before she did anything stupid such as running away on her own.

Cosmo was a good runner, he had always been, that's why Lucy had once rant during one of their reading nights that he would outrace anyone in James Dashner's maze. That, and the fact that he'd probably be best buddy with Newt - the boy was her favorite so he didn't have much choice: they needed to be friends, so they'd be able to hang out together once Lucy would find him again. Because there was no way she'd leave him at WICKED's mercy.

 _Just like there's no way we're leaving you at Lotor's mercy, Luce._

Cosmo ran faster and reached Scarlet Kaida. As expected Jijii was still on board and popped in the main room just as he crossed the door. She wasn't looking in his direction and was probably focused on her thoughts - her brain analyzing every thought and possible outcomes the situation could take. Fireworks. That's how Lucy used to describe Jijii's train of thought to him.

 _Her brain never sleeps! She's always analyzing everything and her brain is always overwhelmed by ideas. She's awesome!_

Cosmo didn't know why Merryn hadn't teleported Jijii directly in her room and, whether Merryn had wanted to get her to the safest and warmest place of the vessel or had only thought of Ash's remaining waffles in the nearby kitchen, he thanked her for it.

 _Good puppy!_

Too deep in her own thoughts, Jijii didn't seem to have noticed him yet. Unable to shout her name or reach out for her in her brain like he did with Lucy all the time, he used the only thing he could think of and grabbed her arm as she was heading for the bedrooms.

Jijii whipped her head around as if shocked to see him. The small glimpse in her eyes didn't last for long and someone who hadn't known Jijii like he and Lucy did, wouldn't have even noticed it.

"Cosmo we need to go after him! We need to get her back! We can't let him have her any longer! He knows what she can do. He will use her! We promised- we promised we would protect her from him. She can't face him on her own. She can't do that. You know it. We can't let her down any longer. We need to get her back. We need to-"

Someone who wasn't mute couldn't understand the frustration that Cosmo was feeling at the moment. Jijii kept spilling words and explanations; as if he didn't want her back too! Of course, he did! But he needed his other hand back in order to explain her that and he knew that as soon as he would release her hand, or as soon as she would decide she had lost enough time with him, that she'd run for her room, grab the bag that was always ready under her bed and ran for one of the smaller ships in Scarlet's hangar, flying as fast as she could to Lotor's location.

"I need to get her back Cosmo. You can't ask me to stay."

He knew Jijii was feeling just as frustrated as he was. Staying on board, having no leads whatsoever and imagining over and over again the worst dreadful things that could endure their captain at the moment without being able to help her out in any sort of ways as they didn't know where she could be. The trail that could have led to her, blown apart with Zarkon's headquarters.

And now that they knew she had crossed path with Lotor could only make those nightmares worse.

"Jijii? Cosmo? Back so soon?"

"Sammy-"

"What happened on the planet?"

"Sammy, who's shouting like that? Are the others back?"

Lo appeared in the main room, climbing the stairs from the infirmary where she was attending to the wounded - and getting prepared for potential newcomers. She looked at the both of them, relieved at first to see them in one piece, but confusion soon swirled in her eyes.

Lo Polster, not like most people on Scarlet Kaida, was good at reading people and it didn't take her much, between Cosmo's livid face and Jijii's tone, to understand that something had happened. Again.

"What is going on? What are you talking about?" She asked worriedly.

"Is it related to that wannabe prince?" Cosmo's felt his gut twist when he heard such words coming out of Sammy's mouth. The innocence of his young voice contrasted with the heavy subject he implied. He had no idea…

"You've seen him? You've seen the broadcast?"

"The screen suddenly blacked out before displaying his face," Lo started, "but we were too deep in our work and stitches to realize what it was all about. Tell us. What is going on?"

Lo's confusion grew further when the paladins, Allura, Coran and members of the crew suddenly burst into the room.

A whole bunch of panting confused people.

"Jijii! Cosmo!" Aeris shouted, a little out of breath, "Why the hell did you run away like that?"

"What is going on you with you two? You seemed to know the guy, do you know something we don't?"

"Aria, we don't have time for this," Jijii replied to her, gripping at the hem of her jacket.

"Time for what? Is someone going to finally explain to me what the hell is going on between you all?" Lo asked, drained out of all her legendary patience.

"What is happening," Hazel started, "is that some fancy Galra creep wants to take over the Empire and is blaming us for all the attacks that are happening and Jijii seemed to know him."

"Wait, what? You know that creep ass weirdo? How?"

Everyone was shooting questions at Jijii, expecting answers to explain her sudden and unexpected behavior. Cosmo was going to lose it if they kept talking all at once. He shut his eyes, trying to focus.

"What are you hiding from us?"

"You need to explain."

"Tell us?"

"Why aren't you telling us anything?"

"Don't you trust us anymore?"

He could understand their confusion. Maybe some of them had seen Lucy's dagger too. He couldn't have been the only one to notice it, right? When Lotor appeared on screen it was the only thing he could see. Its ivory pommel and its amethyst sparks. Somehow, he had the feeling that it was yet another sick game of his. Surely he knew that they'd see it.

He _wanted_ them to know he had her. What did he have in mind? If there was one thing Galra were good at, it was breaking minds.

He shivered, images of his own past coming back to haunt him at the thought. He tightened his fists, nails digging into his palms. Now wasn't the time for those ghosts to pay him a visit. He visualized what had happened after. _I got out._ The light in Lucy's fierce eyes. _I got out._ The dried blood on her cheek, Jijii's fire surrounding them. _I got out_. The grass under his feet. _I got out_. The stars above his head. _I got out_. Scarlet Kaida. _I got out._ Home _._

"I don't have time for this!" Jijii shouted, throwing her arms as if to dodge all the questions coming her way. "We need to go!"

Maybe it was time for the others to know. They didn't have a choice, they needed the help of the crew. They couldn't just defeat Lotor and the Empire with only the two of them. They would be useful.

Cosmo took Jijii's hand in his own once more, silently pleading her to look his way. Jijii was impatient and on edge, but she didn't push him away this time. She looked at him, intrigued and concerned. Cosmo wasn't as good as she was to hide his feelings and he knew she must have understood that something was wrong with him.

"I need to get her back. We know where he is. We need to go. Now!"

"Even if you were to go now it would be useless."

Cosmo turned his attention back to the Green Paladin. Once more, she had been the one to speak. Her voice was calm compared to the others'. She didn't speak in a harsh tone, nor was it careful, rather very matter of factly. Free of any opinions on the situation. Neutral and efficient.

"He'll be gone," she went on. "No matter if you recognized where he was, he is far away from it as we talk. He wasn't airing live, it was a record. He's gone."

"I don't care. You don't understand. We need to go!"

"And how would we understand anything?!" Hazel yelled, "Even when Lucy's life is obviously at stake, you only care about yourself and keep secrets and leave us in the unknown!"

Cosmo's winced at Hazel's words, she didn't have the right to say that. Jijii was probably the most selfless person on board, she was holding his hand for heaven's sake. Because somehow, even when everyone was falling on her, she still found the audacity to care for the other's well being. More than anyone, she wanted Lucy back. Lucy meant everything to her. And either Hazel's words were going to piss her off and she was going to lash onto her, or Jijii was going to shut herself down. She wasn't called Fire Oyster for no reasons.

Cosmo knew that, normally, Hazel would never say such such words. She would never say such things to anyone but the last events were affecting everyone's emotions. They were edgier, more emotive and fragile than they usually were. Hazel's reaction was only confirming what he was thinking. They needed to speak now before it was too late - before the trust Lucy had scarcely built between them all shattered completely.

"I'm not trying to- Damn it why am I even losing time with you all?!"

Tension. Stress. Guilt. Anger. Doubt. Failure. Cracks in the walls.

Cosmo could feel it, you could cut the air with a knife.

Tori was right. Scarlet Kaida was on the verge of collapsing.

"Is it related to your past in the Arena?"

Cosmo froze.

And so did everyone.

He felt Jijii's hand tense between his fingers. She turned her look away from Hazel and stared at Shiro, completely shocked. All the anger and frustration disappeared from her eyes, Shiro's words feeling like an ice-cold shower.

How did he know about that?

"Do you know him from the Arena?" Shiro repeated as Jijii remained silent. Cosmo didn't know if she was quiet because of the shock of such question coming from Shiro or if it was her survival instincts that had already kicked in.

 _"_ _If someone interrogates you or if you get caught, stay silent,"_ she had once explained to Lucy, " _Because how does a fish get caught? By opening its mouth."_

"The Arena? What are you talking about Shiro?" Cosmo looked back at Lo who'd been the one to speak, voicing everyone's question.

"They don't know, do they?" Shiro asked, realization spreading across his face.

"Know what?" Lo asked once again. "What are we supposed to know about the Arena?"

Cosmo's heart twisted as he saw the look in his friend's eyes. Lo had barely slept in the last few days between the work in the lab, the infirmary and the never-ending stress and nightmares whenever she tried to sleep. Cosmo didn't count anymore the time where he had found her aimlessly walking in the corridors in the middle of the night.

Lo was tired and worn out but what he saw in her eyes was complete and utter denial. And for a scientist, that was saying something. She was rejecting the news, didn't want to understand what Shiro's suggestion could imply. And Cosmo hated to see her like that. She who was always happy to help everyone and figure everything out. She didn't want to be faced with such a horrible truth that had been hidden under their nose for so long.

"How do you even know about that?" Jijii stared at Shiro, her face still.

"I was looking through the files Pidge and Hunk had managed to hack and I found this." Shiro extended his arm and a screen appeared above his bracer.

Aria gasped.

On the picture, the three of them appeared. He, Jijii, and Lucy fighting back to back as Galran soldiers surrounded them. Cosmo recognized it as the day they had broken out of the prison they were kept in.

"Cosmo…"

Cosmo turned back to Aria as he heard his name. If he had thought Lo's face had broken his heart then Aria's broke his soul.

"Cosmo… How the hell do I not know you've been in the arena?" The spymaster looked up at him, betrayal was written all over her face. "Why did you never tell anyone? Why didn't you tell _me_? I thought we were best friends…"

Cosmo looked away. He hated this. He had never wanted this to happen like this. He had wanted to tell Aria about his past before, but he had never found the courage in himself to do it. He liked where his ghosts were: buried and faraway - almost forgotten.

Talking to her would have meant removing the padlocks and he wasn't ready to face his demons. Not again. Not anymore. Plus, it meant exposing Jijii's and Lucy's past as well and he knew they weren't ready either. The situation was already critique but now the cracks among Scarlet Kaida were spreading like wildfire.

"Well he does have an excuse," Jijii replied bitterly, "He's mute. The arena has this kind of consequences on people, you see."

"If Shiro hadn't told us… When were you gonna tell us about the Arena?" Cosmo hated the tears he could hear in Aria's voice.

"And who is this guy? How does he know Lucy? I don't remind her telling me she had ever crossed path with such a psycho."

"We've all seen our own share of psycho, Lo."

"Jijii, please."

Lo wasn't good at hiding the panic in her tone. She wasn't a fighter, she hadn't joined the crew for the opportunity to get her revenge like many of them. She wanted to see the world and knew her knowledge could be useful to Lucy. She didn't have any superpowers or super strength or super skills on the battlefield. She barely knew how to handle a weapon correctly but she had wanted to be of use in this war. Her main reason to join the fight had been her first encounter with Lucy and the crazy adventures that had followed. Lucy had saved her life once, she had a debt to repay.

"Tell us," she tried again softly, "What's going on?"

Jijii sighed and ran a hand across her face - the other still gripping Cosmo's fingers tightly. "His name is Lotor. He's Zarkon son and he's the one who threw Lucy into the Arena."

The reaction was immediate.

"He did what?! How come we're only learning this now?"

"This could have help finding Lucy beforehand!"

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"It's my business. I don't have to talk about it," Jijii fought back. "Plus, I didn't know he was still alive."

"Your business could have helped us beforehand! If we'd known we'd have had more trail to look through! More clues!"

"You bunch of hypocrites," Hazel growled, "telling us about opening up and making a new life when you all hold back your secrets."

Jijii remained quiet and kept rolling with the hard words. Cosmo knew she was probably battling with her own fire inside - trying to contain as hard as she could the fire that was threatening to escape her control. Anger, guilt, and frustration. Jijii's power's combustion agents. Cosmo needed to get her out of here or find a way to calm down the situation otherwise this was going to get really nasty.

"Jijii… you should tell them you know?"

Cosmo sighed, Shiro had just missed a great opportunity to keep quiet.

"Oh why, because you did maybe?

"No," the black paladin admitted, "But maybe I should have. I know what you went through and-"

 _Fuck_.

"Oh shut it, Shiro! Don't you dare tell me you understand! You don't understand anything about what's happening. You know nothing! You've been a champion for what? A year? I was the champion for two fucking centuries, so don't you dare tell me that you _understand_."

Silence resonated in the main room as everyone stared at the lieutenant, taken aback. Not even Shiro had expected such answers. Surely not everything was in those cracked files, Cosmo realized. But their frozen face wasn't going to stop Jijii. They had awoken the fury behind her "bitch-resting face" as he and Lucy liked to call it, and they were going to pay the consequences of such action.

"And as for you Hazel, we never forced you to tell your secrets. None of us did! That's the first thing Lucy told you when you joined the crew or have you all already forgotten it? You're the hypocrite in this story! You decided to open up? Good for you. We offered you the option that's been taken away from us. Don't talk without knowing, Hazel. Go and have a try in the Arena. Survive a month there without getting out of there broken and devastated, and then we can talk."

Jijii turned back to the rest of the group, barely acknowledging her erratic breathing. She wasn't going to stop now. They wanted her to talk? Good, then she was going to talk! But she wasn't Lucy, she wasn't going to tell them the truth while trying to care for their little feelings. They wanted to see the real Jijii? They wanted to call her selfish? Wanted to treat her like a monster? Yeah, well she was one so it wasn't going to do them any good to try and fight against her.

"We've all lost people here. We all went through horrible things. But you have no idea of what it was like when Lucy and I were stuck in that cell, when Cosmo had to give up his dignity to survive. It was _our_ secret. We are scarred, both mentally and physically. Before I met Lucy, I had already lost two soulmates and I swore to her I would never, _never_ , leave her side and would always protect her. And you all agreed to do the same exact thing when entering this crew, no matter the secrets nor what could happen."

She stopped for a second, staring at their shocked face before giving them the finishing blow. "And I _am_ trying, but I don't see any of you guys trying to keep up with your vow to protect and forgive family whatever happens. _You_ , my dears, are the great hypocrites of this whole situation."

The blank lingered, only interrupted by Jijii's harsh breathing. From the crew to the paladins, none of them had expected such news. And none of them had expected such outburst from the Lieutenant - Captain. And judging by the looks they could see on everyone else's faces, the three paladins, Allura and Coran knew they hadn't expected such thing either.

"Then tell us," Lo whispered softly, looking up from the spot in the ground she'd been staring at throughout Jijii's speech. "Tell us, Jijii."

"I'm not sure you're ready for this."

"We won't know until you try, Jijii." Aeris, who had remained quiet until now, stared at Jijii too. Jijii was surprised to see them all so willing to know the story. Why did it matter to them anyway? Why did they want to hear about it? Why, when they all add their own share of demons, wanted to welcome theirs into their lives? She didn't get it. Why did they care so much?

"Please."

"Okay. If it is what you all want. But you must know that I won't stop, that I won't spare any details. If it's really what you want, then stay. If you know you won't be able to handle that, that it will unleash nightmares of yours then leave. I won't judge you. Lucy wouldn't do that. Lucy wouldn't want any of this."

Nobody moved.

"And before I start," Jijii turned back to Sammy who was still standing at Lo's side, his face still, "I want you to leave the room, Sammy. And," she started, her voice bare of any emotion, "Before anyone makes the mistake of saying anything, no it's not to hide stuff from him. But have you all been involved in this war for so long to forget that he's still a child and shouldn't have to listen to this? Probably."

Jijii crouched, staring at Sammy and welcomed him into her arms. She patted his hair softly, "Don't be mistaken Sam, I don't want to hide this from you. It's not that I don't want you to know, or anything. By all means, I know how strong you are and how much we've been through together. I just- I just want Lucy to be the one who tells you the story, her story, not me. I know it's something she'd want and I won't take that away from her. Can you wait for her to come back, Sam?"

"Don't worry, Jijii," Sammy smiled, kissing her cheek, "I understand."

Jijii looked back at the young boy. He had grown so much since the time Lucy had saved him. He was the reason they fought this war. He was the reason why they hadn't given up yet. He was their world. He was their Scarlet Boy and he would never cease to amaze her.

"Besides," he added, a smirk spreading across his lips, "Lucy is a far better storyteller than you are."

"Yeah, sure," she scoffed, ruffling his hair before letting him go.

"Come on Merryn, let's go! They're having an adult conversation over here, your puppy ears can't hear about that."

Merryn barked and followed after him, already playing before they even passed the threshold.

 _This boy, I swear…_

Jijii got back on her feet, and, once she was sure Sammy was out of ears' reach, she started to tell their story. Never letting go of Cosmo's hand, feeling his support and approval she didn't stop until she had said everything no matter the sobs and gasps she heard from the audience.

/

She stared at her nails and at the dirt that was stuck underneath. Dried blood, she realized. And judging by its bright red colors it wasn't hers. A few days ago, she would have wanted to tear them off and remove from her sight yet another proof that she was losing control.

 _Days…_

She scoffed. She didn't even know for how long she'd been kept in here.

She guessed that she had already been there long enough for her eyes to get accustomed to the never-ending bright light of her cell, for her wound to heal completely and for the effect of her blood loss to wither away.

And for her nails to grow longer.

How long had really gone by?

She felt the tears coming to her eyes.

What were they doing to her?

It needed to stop.

Why couldn't she stop it?

She felt empty. She couldn't feel anything. She wanted to sleep.

She wanted for the nightmares she saw whenever she closed her eyes to stop. For the never-ending screams she heard to stop ringing in her ears. She wanted for the pain she felt to end. She wanted her hands to stop quivering. She wanted the never-ending silent tears to stop sliding down her cheek without her understanding why she felt so broken. She wanted whatever was happening to her while she wasn't conscious to stop.

She wasn't in control when she slept, wasn't in control when she was awake, and she hated it. She hated knowing that something was wrong. She hated knowing that something felt off but not being able to do anything about it or being quite able to grasp the concept of what was happening to her.

 _Someone…_

 _Please…_

 _End this…_

/

Aria hugged her knees as she kept hearing over and over again the conversation that had happened a few minutes ago. Alone in her room, the empty bed across her own was an everyday reminder that Deandra was never going to come back. She had already lost friends in the past and today, it felt like she had lost another one.

She felt betrayed even though she knew she shouldn't be. It was stupid. Cosmo didn't have the obligation to tell her his story. She knew it. She knew it and yet she kept seeing Cosmo's face as Shiro had revealed what he had found in the Galran server.

Deep down, she knew that she shouldn't feel so bad that, even after all the years they had spent at each other's side, having each other's back, that even after all what they had been through together, he hadn't trusted her with his doubts and secrets. With his past and his nightmares.

Deep down, she also knew that she shouldn't be blaming him for that. It was his choice to make. Maybe he just wasn't ready yet and Aria felt like a fool for feeling betrayed when she should have cared for Cosmo's feelings before hers. She didn't know he had been in the Arena, didn't know what had happened there for him to lose his voice. And she had only cared about her small hurt feelings whereas he had been through such hardships.

She hated herself. She hated how everything felt wrong those last few days. The tension on board and its effect on everyone. Everyone was on edge and all the things that had been piling up recently had exploded a few minutes ago.

How could she not know?

She was Aria Celeste, Scarlet Kaida's spymaster, she was supposed to know those things. It was her job. And yet she didn't even know her best friend. Had Deandra known? She bet she did. Deandra had been there before Scarlet Kaida was even a thing, before there were closed doors between them to hid their breakdowns.

She clenched her necklace between her fingers, unable to stop the flow of thoughts and insecurities to come and hit her at full blast. If she had missed such important things about Cosmo, if she hadn't even realized that he was hiding more stuff about his past than what he was telling her, if she hadn't noticed all the tiny details beforehand… what else had she missed?

What if she'd been incapable of seeing other events? What if she had missed more clues and leads to Lucy's location? What if she had failed to notice something important?

"What would you do, Dimitrius? What should I do?"

Aria could feel the asperities of the crystal under her fingertips. She'd always loved hovering her fingers over them. It soothed her. It calmed her down. It brought peace to her mind and cleared her thoughts.

Dimitrius had been the one to give it to her on her birthday four years ago. The next day he had been taken away by the Empire Army and had been sent to a work camp. Learning about her best friend's death three months afterward had been her trigger and, two weeks after, Lucy found her and she joined the fight.

She wasn't going to be passive in this war anymore. It had lasted for too long, had torn apart too many families. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, and friends had shed too many tears already. It needed to stop.

Dimitrius had died four years ago and in her dreams, she found herself imagining him and Deandra watching over her. It brought her the comfort she needed to keep going. She imagined them having a wild life together and playing tricks on everyone else. She knew that if those two had met in real life they would have been best friends, but destiny had chosen another path for them. And Aria had to live with it.

 _But Cosmo is still here._

Cosmo was still here and she was determined not to let such trivial things split them apart. One never knew from what tomorrow could be made. Aria knew that better than anyone and she needed to talk to him.

 _Soon._

/

Jijii breathed in deeply and walked faster to Lucy's room.

 _It was necessary,_ she kept repeating herself. _They needed to hear this. They needed to hear it to get back in working mode_.

She was tired of seeing the ghosts that had become her crewmates. Maybe this would be their wake up call.

 _In through the nose… Out through the mouth…_

Her power had been really close to escaping the small control she had over it. She blessed her cape for hiding from their sight the nasty blisters that were already blossoming on her skin - and already healing thanks to her Atlantean heritage.

She hadn't yelled like this in so long… And she hadn't missed the surprised looks on some faces. But she didn't want to think about it anymore - she needed to think of something else if she didn't want her to explode once more.

She had already looked for Sammy in the children's bay and in the infirmary but he wasn't there, nor had he sneaked back in the kitchen. There was only one room left where she knew he could be.

She hadn't set foot in Lucy's room since she was gone - since her _power_ was gone, too afraid to find it empty.

She could ignore the missing decorations in the corridors and the missing furniture here and there, but entering her room and not seeing the little things that made it hers? That, she couldn't handle.

"Jijii!"

"Aeris?" Jijii turned around to look at the strategist who was running after her.

"You're not leaving, are you?"

Jijii was taken aback by the sudden soft tone of Aeris. After her outburst in the main room earlier, she had expected everyone to be against her and bare their teeth at her sight. Not to come after her to ask if she was leaving or not. Especially if the look on their face implied that they didn't want her to go.

 _That's an intriguing family you've built there, Luce._

"No, I'm not leaving... Not yet anyway."

A blank lingered and Aeris looked away, a small relieved huff escaping her lips. Jijii didn't speak. She didn't know how to react to that and waited for Aeris to speak again. Or leave. Or do whatever she was supposed to do. How did Lucy even handle human relations on a daily basis? _Flan, you have even more of my respect. I'll bake you cookies when you come back._

"Jijii?"

Jijii startled, blaming her short attention span. Aeris was now staring at the wall and at the hundreds of pictures that were pinned there: five years worth of adventures and private jokes. Jijii didn't remember when it had all started but she had loved the idea.

 _The memory wall._

It was one of the few things that made this place feels like a home to her. She had never felt it in the past, that need to decorate the walls with pictures and other trinkets. That need to make a place yours. Decorations weren't a primary need. Decorations were for a place you liked. A place you wanted to own.

 _"_ _We are building our nest and we have to make it the prettiest,"_ Lucy had once said _, "Our space fam' deserve this."_ And Jijii had never realized how much she longed for this.

For Home.

For her, Home had always been related to people. They were her happy place. Mostly because for the last centuries she had been either locked away or had spent her days running away. She didn't stay long in one place, she had always been moving. Staying too long in one place was dangerous. Either for you or for the people that you had met along the way who could be hurt and used against you.

But with Scarlet Kaida, Jijii had felt, for the first time in a long time, the desire to go home and walk through the corridors and cross path with everyone in the morning - even if, due to her awesome ninja skills, most of those sleepy heads didn't notice her.

Scarlet Kaida was a roof over their head and the idea of a red dragon looking over them and protecting them had always eased the scarlet souls. Most of them had lost everything - parents, brothers, sisters, children, friends... They had all paid the price of war against tyranny. Scarlet Kaida was theirs. And no one could take it away from them. They all loved the ship.

But even if she loved the ship, she couldn't just stay here doing nothing while Lucy was away and probably enduring the worst. Seeing Aeris' face, she could understand that, somehow, those Scarlet Souls needed her to stay. Aeris had already lost her captain and crew in the past, and she surely didn't want history to repeat itself. She knew they all cared for Lucy. However, if they actually knew her, they'd know that she wasn't meant to be a leader.

She was a good lieutenant, though.

She liked supporting Lucy and helping her out in tough situations, but she wasn't the leading type. They couldn't expect her to be the same kind of support Lucy was to them. They couldn't expect her to stay. But the same loyalty that wanted her to run to her friend's rescue, was also the one keeping her from running away. Jijii knew Lucy didn't want her to leave them alone in such situation.

 _Stupid conflicted brain of mine._

But as conflicted as she was, she knew that when they were going get more information on Lucy's location, they wouldn't be able to hold her back. Not again. Lucy's portrait wouldn't join Deandra's and Alan's on the wall. Jijii wouldn't allow it.

"What are we going to do, Jijii?" Aeris asked softly, her gaze still lost in the different pictures. She looked worn out and the strong mask she had kept in the main room earlier, in front of their troops, had silently fallen apart.

 _Didn't you just hear what I said? I'm no leader Aeris, damn it. Stop asking me those questions!_

Sometimes, Jijii wished more people had Lucy's ability. It made conversations easier.

" _How_ , are we going to do? Because we'll get her back, right? We will. We just got to…"

"Keep grinding. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, you gotta keep grinding. Because that's what we do."

"Right."

"And that's how we're gonna win. And we're gonna win. We're gonna save Lucy, we're gonna ice Lotor and we're gonna shank the Empire. And anyone that gets in our way, well, may their deities help them."

"Damn right."

"Damn right."

Aeris smiled, Jijii didn't know how her made-up words had managed to bring her back her confidence but she'd take it anyway. Depressed Aeris wasn't Normal Aeris so she was glad to have a little drop of normality back in her life - even if everything else was so fucked up.

"I'm going to go see Hazel and Aria but if you're looking for Sammy, he's in Lucy's room."

"Yeah, I thought so…"

"See you later, Jijii!"

Jijii chuckled as Aeris walked away, heading for the navigating room.

 _It's okay Aeris, I told you I wasn't leaving now. No need to use those sneaky techniques to remind me of that._

Like I said, i'm already 4k+ words into the second part, aka chap14 so hopefully you won't wait tp long for it. I'm done with uni on the 19th of April so... won't be at school until september afterward so i'll have all the time to write! gotta find some job to earn money but still.

first i have to get trhough the exams. wish me luck. because i'm very much screwed ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

-  
notes from the 4th april (before posting) : OKAY BUT I JUST REREAD THIS CHAP, SOMETHING I HAD NOT DONE IN TWO WEEKS AND OH BOI DO I LOVE IT! IT MUST BE ONE OF MY FAVE I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IM SO HYPE FOR YOUR FEEDBACKS AND AHHHHHH THE FIRST SCENE IS SO COOL AND NICE AND IM SO PROUD

(also forgot to tell but the last part of aeris is convo is from an episode of supernatural. when i saw it months ago i knew i had to save it to use later on in this scene and it's done now. so credit to ep15 of s11)


	14. Void

Notes: As promised here comes part 2! Hope you'll enjoy! 2 of my fave boys are back in the game Chapter Text

Jijii could hear the ruffling sound of Merryn's paws on the ground behind Lucy's ajar door. And if Merryn was there then surely Sammy hadn't moved either. She took a deep breath and opened the door - only to find Sammy with a bunch of fresh flowers in his hands and a broom on the other side of the room.

"Sammy? What are you doing?"

"I'm tidying up her room," he explained as he arranged the pretty flowers in one of Lucy's favorite vase - a blue one, of course. Jijii recognized the flowers from the small garden the children had managed to grow. "I always love when we come home to fresh bed sheets and a piece of chocolate on our bed. Merryn and I thought it'd be nice to return the favor for once!"

 _Oh dear, Sammy, you're adorable. Way too cute for my heart._

Jijii knew that Sammy referred to Lucy's routine after the battles. Often, in the past few years, the children had been sent to the _Dragon's Lair_ as a safety measure and whenever they came back, Lucy made sure to make their bed and slide small presents under their pillow. The smile they had once they came home was worth every star. Jijii still remembered Sammy's when he had discovered his new set of color pencils. She had never seen him so happy and he had - literally - jumped to Lucy's neck.

"You think Mama Lu will love it too?"

"I'm sure she will," Jijii added in a smile as she ruffled the young boy's hair. A light laughter escaped his lips and he hugged her back, his frail arms looped around her waist. Sammy was definitely too adorable. How did he manage to remain true to himself even in such context? She had no idea but she hoped he would never lose this trait of personality.

 _We never know what destiny has planned for us._

"Are the others still mad at you and Cosmo?"

Jijii's smile dropped. If Sammy always managed to keep a smile on his face, there was something else he was never able to drop. His determination. Sammy was just as stubborn as Lucy, and growing up surrounded by just as stubborn people hadn't help his case. Whenever he had an idea up in his mind he wouldn't give it up. And if he had decided not to drop the Main Room subject, as she had just randomly named it, then he wouldn't. And Jijii's personal weakness of not being able to lie to children, Sammy especially, was going to play against her.

"They're not… _mad_ at me."

"Oh, so all the screams I heard from here weren't directed at you then?"

"It's more like… they're disappointed."

"Why?"

"They're just a bunch of hypocrites who take what they want when they need it but never give anything in return."

"You know it's not true."

"Oh yeah?" Jijii scoffed, "And how would you be so sure about that Scarlet Boy?"

"I know it," Sammy replied, looking at her in the eyes. His deep ocean blue eyes were filled with the same resolve that she could hear in his voice. "Just like I know you're right to say Lucy isn't dead."

Jijii blinked. After Lucy's power disappearing slowly from the ship, and the news of her planet's explosion added to the fact that they didn't have any news from her for days, everyone wanted to believe she was gone. Jijii could understand that they didn't want her to _be_ dead. But they didn't want to acknowledge that something worse than death might have happened to her. And all of them wanted to jump to less worse conclusion.

"What makes you so sure? Why do you agree with me when no else on this ship does?"

"Because if Mama Lu was dead then this, would be gone too."

Sammy lifted his pants to uncover a thin blue bracelet above his ankle. Jijii recognized Lucy's creation right away. She had made it a few weeks after they had rescued Sammy from the burning ruins of his village. Three small pendants, existing thanks to her creative magic, shone between the different blue strands. A circle to symbolize his planet so he never forgot about his roots, a dragon's head to symbolize Scarlet Kaida's protection, and a glinting falling star.

Lucy's symbol.

It was a tradition, in the East Region from where Lucy was from, to wove a bracelet like the one Sammy was wearing. It was a symbol of love and protection and embodied the family you were from. Each strands linked you to your family and the generations that came before you.

Six years ago, as she sat in the middle of a green field, her clothes still covered in the dirt from the battlefield, Lucy had insisted and braided a similar bracelet to both Jijii and Cosmo.

It had only been a few hours since they had departed with the other freed prisoners on Lucy's order. Such a huge group would attract too much attention and they needed to split. Jijii had scoffed, watching Lucy say such words when she was herself patting a hellhound's head she had all the intention to keep by her side. Ever since that day, Cosmo, Lucy, Merryn and her had never parted ways.

"Maybe it's just me but…" Sammy started, suddenly less sure of his words. "Jijii, I could swear that ever since she's gone it shines brighter. As if her power was holding on onto the memory. As if…"

"As if it didn't want to give up?"

"Yeah."

Sammy's gaze was focused on his bracelet and he kept staring at it until Jijii took him in her arms and dropped him on the bed.

"You, my boy, are getting bigger lately!"

"I'm a grown up now! Soon I'll be taller than you!"

"Yeah, sure," Jijii scoffed, kissing the top of his head, "Not that it's much of challenge."

Sammy gigled once more as Merryn rested her head on Jijii's shoulder, proving her point.

"Speaking of challenge, how did you manage to sneak behind Tori's back?"

"She was so pissed at you that she forgot to check the empty space in the back, just behind the water supplies."

Jijii laughed, Tori's face coming back to her memory. "Lucy's going to be _so_ proud of you."

"Really?" Sammy's eyes lit up with disbelief.

"Of course! What did you expect? Mastering the art of sneaking in on someone else's vessel is the best skill a pirate needs!"

"Or a ninja."

"Indeed."

"Can I become your apprentice? You're the best ninja in town."

"I sure am."

"Is that a yes then?"

"Show me your skills in the sleeping department and we'll talk about it."

"I'm a big boy! I don't need to take a nap!"

"A true ninja never refuses the opportunity to take a well deserved rest."

"False. You never sleep."

"That's because I sleep whenever you don't pay attention."

Sammy huffed but shifted on the bed anyway and rolled on the other side. He was out in a couple of seconds.

Jijii turned her attention back to Merryn, who was sleeping on the floor too, her ears still perking up at every sounds the ship made.

Moments of peace never lasted long. Five minutes later, a soft knock resonated against the door. Jijii sighed and went to open it, hoping that it hadn't woken Sammy up. The Green Paladin stood on the other side of the threshold.

"Pidge?"

"Jijii, you need to come with me, I've got to show you something."

"Sure, lead the way." Jijii softly closed the door and followed after Pidge. They went straight for the navigating room. Hazel, Aeris, Cosmo, as well as the paladins were already there.

"As I told you all before, I set up the different computers of our ships to analyze and pick up any signals of attack that are similar to the one from Central Command or the attack from earlier. All the data are kept on the same central server and today a few signals came back. You have to understand that because of the distance between us and their location, there's a more or less important delay before it comes back to us."

"Pidge," Jijii inquired, unable to endure Pidge's sudden interest to beat about the bush, "Spill it. What is it?"

"Right." Her fingers hovered on the keyboards before a new tab opened on the screen next to them. "A new signal came up a few minutes ago. There was another attack."

None of them gasped, after all they had all expected Pidge to announce them another bad news but Jijii could still see the dark expression on their faces. Somehow, they still had hoped.

"I decrypted the signal and unlocked the surveillance system. The one good thing about the Galra Empire is that they keep cameras everywhere. And most of them, even on freed planets, are only deactivated and not on complete shut down. So I was able to steal the images and… this happened one hour ago."

For the second time in the day, Lotor's face appeared in front of them. He stood in the middle of a village's square and Lucy was only a few feet away from him. Wearing a similar suit to his, a whole squad of Galra soldier surrounded her. Not attacking her, as everyone had expected at first, but protecting her and Lotor from the blasts of two snipers. And Lucy was using her powers to take them down.

Jijii felt a shudder ran down her spine. She hated being right.

Lotor had Lucy and as of it wasn't enough, he had, somehow, managed to turn her in his puppet.

/

Matt's eyes shot open when the alert blazed in his ears. His fingers fumbled on the keyboards in front of him and he cursed. The town's defense system he had developed a few months ago had detected presence coming their way and the cameras weren't responding anymore. It would take too much time to get them working again or take any of the control back. If there had been any hopes of friendly greetings from their allies until now, who had, maybe, a silly head who had forgotten to declare their arrival, then it was all gone now.

"Eurwyn!" he shouted in the corridor, trying his best so that his voice could be heard despite the noise of the alert, "The town's under attack!"

"Thanks Matt," Eurwyn grumbled, already retrieving his weapons from behind the door, "The alert blazing through my ears wasn't enough for me to understand."

"Sorry to wake you up, Sleeping Beauty, but duty calls!"

"Doesn't matter. Now, who are the unwelcomed newcomers?"

"No idea, the alert suddenly rang and the cameras are out. No need to tell you that the other units haven't arrived yet and that we're alone."

"Of course."

"I know right? Why change our habits?"

"You already sent the signals to the other bases?"

"Yes, first thing I did!"

"Good, then let's see who comes to stir trouble in our town."

Matt grabbed his staff and shut down the system behind them before running after Eurwyn, who was already a few feet ahead.

After their mission at the _Dragon's Lair_ , he and Eurwyn had done a few reconnaissance missions before they were stationed here. Hiʻiaka was a small town on planet Haumea, nearby the Balmeran system. Eurwyn and he weren't here as protection backup, but to fix the problems that three hundred years of occupation had done to the town. They were in charge of the communication system and were always in touch with the other officers present on the planet and in the vicinity.

Aside of a desert a few miles away and a pretty canyon on the other side of the town, there was nothing here. So why would people attack? The planet had only been freed for a year and the scars of war weren't even closed yet. There was nothing to steal or destroy here. Not anymore.

Matt stopped in his tracks. Eurwyn had stopped running toward the small village down the hill and had taken his binoculars out.

 _Yes, better study now who's waiting for us down there._

Matt went to retrieve his own, hanging by his waist, but he gasped before his fingers even reached them. Hidden from his sight until now by the high trees that grew on the hills, Matt could now see with his own two eyes who the enemy was.

And what an enemy.

Matt had heard enough stories from the freed planets to recognize the giant robot. But instead of the hope that was supposed to fill his veins at its sight, like everyone had told him, dread overwhelmed him.

Voltron was attacking the population. Voltron, the legendary defender that had freed this planet a year ago, was now destroying everything.

"Eurwyn! Voltron is here! Voltron is here and oh my god Eurwyn, they're shooting the population!"

"So this is what you see, huh?" Eurwyn whispered, still observing the situation. Matt didn't understand anything, why did he even need his binoculars? His own two eyes should be sufficient enough to see the freaking giant humanoid robot that was attacking them!

"Eurwyn, we have to call for backup. We can't go there alone we- Eurwyn? Eurwyn?!" Matt whipped his head around, so focused on Voltron that he hadn't realize Eurwyn had used those three seconds of inattention to disappear.

 _Damn it!_

It took him another three seconds to spot Eurwyn's running silhouette between the sycamore-looking trees. Matt darted after him. He couldn't even leave him for three seconds that he was already running toward danger. How had this boy managed to survive until now?

"Eurwyn!" He shouted after him, jumping over the rocks and trying his best to avoid the treacherous holes in the ground and the branches that appeared in the corner of his eyes at the last second. Matt thanked the training in the woods they had both done to get accustomed to their surroundings in case of such alerts. Eurwyn was running down the slope in front of him, his weapon not even loaded in his arms. Matt had almost caught up with him.

"Eurwyn! Eurwyn, what are you doing? They're going to kill us! What do you think we can do against Voltron with our guns?"

Matt didn't hear any answers. Either because the wind was against him and wouldn't carry his partner's words, or because that stupid brat was ignoring him. Matt was sure he could spot his smirk from afar.

"Eurwyn get back here!"

Matt shouted as Eurwyn kept running down. What was he even thinking? He was seriously worried for Eurwyn's sanity. And for his own as well. Why was he even rushing after him?

Matt avoided another branch and finally caught up with Eurwyn, who was hurtling the small stairs engraved in the soil.

"Eurwyn, what are you thinking? Why are we speeding straight into the lion's den instead of coming up with a nice plan where none of us and the remaining villagers end up squished by this giant robot's foot or-"

"Matt."

"Or pierced by his lasers-"

"Matt."

"Or worse! Sliced by its giant sword, huh? How about that?"

"It's not real."

"What?"

"It's not real Matt! None of this is real. Voltron isn't there."

"What are you even talking about? Voltron is very much here and very much destroying everything and will also very much be coming in our direction if we continue this way!" Matt had never been as good as Eurwyn when it came to hiding his emotions, and right now he was freaking out. But then again, Eurwyn never had time to freak out as he always jumped into battle and thought of a plan afterwards. And his plan often consisted into turning back to Matt with a bright smile on his face and asking him nicely to figure something out.

 _I swear one day I'm gonna stop saving your sorry ass and you'll realized how much you're screwed._

"It's all in your head."

"Oh, so I'm the crazy one now?"

"Someone is attacking us, yes, but it is not Voltron, it's the Galra. And they have a Trickster among their ranks."

"A trickster?"

"Yes Matt, a Trickster. I don't see any of those illusions you're talking about. Just an army attacking the village."

"An army? Just an army? An army is no better, Kyra!" Matt threw his arms over his head and nearly lost his balance, if not for Eurwyn's hand catching him at the last minute.

"You're overreacting, Matt."

"Of course I am! We're heading straight to a battlefield with two rifles and one working brain! I don't call us the winning team!"

Eurwyn only scoffed at his words. Totally not the effect Matt was looking for.

 _Where is your common sense, god damn it? Do you even know what survival instinct means?!_

"And anyway," he asked once more, skipping another rock and jumping over the crevasses in the ground. "How can you be so sure this army you see is not another illusion or whatever? How can you be so sure what I see is not real?"

"Because I know atlantean magic when I see it. I can feel the tug of their power desperately working in my brain and they're struggling."

Matt's brain gears were fumming as he tried to figured out every words that came out of his partner's mouth. Ever since Eurwyn had mentioned the Trickster's presence, his vision had gotten a little blurrier whenever he tried to look in Voltron's direction. And even if he couldn't understand how someone would be able to trick his brain that easily, he was trying his best to break the illusion.

Eurwyn had once explained to him the different powers that existed on his planet and how they were mostly inherited from your mother - though it wasn't as easily determined as that. Sometimes it skipped a generation and sometimes genetics and dormant genes played their own tricks. A family who only had water powers had once found themselves with a young six years old child who could control the flames of their fireplace, even though those powers were mostly seen in the West region.

Matt didn't like the idea of someone being able to mess with his brain. How many times had he told Pidge that their brain was the most powerful processor they had and that it could never been hacked?

 _Damn. What can space travel do to your beliefs._

And for a Trickster to pull such a huge illusion that it reached even the people on the hills? They surely were powerful. And they were working with the Galra, something that didn't help their case at all. Matt definitely didn't like any of this.

 _Stupid karma, the day had started so well, why couldn't it remain that way, huh?_

"Soon they'll realized that it can't work on me," Eurwyn started again, "and if they pulled up such a big trick on us, I can only assume that they aim to blame Voltron for what's happening here. And I'm sure it's not the first time they do it, if we consider Lotor's fabulous speech from earlier."

Eurwyn slowed down his pace and turned back to him. Matt knew from the look he had on his face that he had come up with something.

"How are we supposed to stop them then? There's still an army ahead of us Eurwyn."

"What do you think they'll do once they see the illusion crumble in everyone else's mind just like it's crumbling in yours?"

"They'll leave."

"Yes," Eurwyn's proud smile grew bigger with Matt's realization, "It'll buy us a little time if they come back and we'll be able to warn the others as well."

"So Voltron didn't turn against us and isn't ready to take over the galaxies?"

"Nope. Told you that Lotor was a tricky bastard. He's playing with everyone like pawns."

"And you have no intention at all to stop now, do you?"

"Nope."

"So we're still going after those crazy bastards?"

"Yup."

"On our own?"

"Yup!"

"Remind me why I love you, already?"

Eurwyn laughed at Matt's despair, after all those years shouldn't he be used to his ways? His smile widened and he checked behind him. Matt was still running behind, careful not to trip on the ground - he could be quite clumsy sometimes. A root coming out of the ground? A lonely pebble in acres of nothingness? You could be sure he'd trip on it.

How many times had he bandaged Matt's wounds after all his tripping accidents? How many times had he heard him sulking after his toe had hurt the corner of the door, the bed or whatever thing that was standing in his way? Too many to count. And how many times had Eurwyn told those silly stories only to tease him even more? Just as much. And Matt was too easily embarrassed for Eurwyn to miss one occasion to tease him.

But today, Matt's footing was steady and only his face betrayed the turmoil that was happening in his head. Eurwyn could bet that Matt was sending his way all the curses he could come up with and that he was also finding all the reasons available to turn back and find a better plan - and then, even more inside grumbling was probably involved because Matt knew he couldn't just do that. Eurwyn knew Matt better than anyone and he knew he wasn't one to run away.

That, or he was just too lazy to turn back now and climb the hill on his own all over again as he sulked. If Eurwyn couldn't hear Matt's exact thoughts, there sure was a lot of sulking involved in his brain at the moment and he was thankful Matt wasn't the one with telepathic power or he'd be screwed.

 _Now... where are you, little trickster?_

As he had explained to Matt earlier, they were still too far for the trickster to realize there was another Atlantean on the planet. For once, coincidences worked his way. However, if the illusion had already worked on Matt's brain when they'd been that far from Hiʻiaka, Eurwyn could understand that their power was extremely strong. Stronger than his own power, that was for sure.

But if there was something Eurwyn couldn't understand it was their reason to side with the Galra. How could they do that? _How,_ after all the thing the Galra had done in the Empire's name, after Atlantis' _destruction,_ how could they still decide to work for them? Because Eurwyn was sure of it - there was only them to do that. Only the Galra could destroy a whole planet without batting an eye. It wasn't their first time after all.

The Galra had taken something from him once more and he couldn't get over it. His home was gone because of them and he couldn't understand how a fellow Atlantean could bear siding with them. And with Lotor being their new supreme leader, now? No way. He couldn't let this happen. Whatever was happening in the village, he had to stop it. No matter who was waiting for him at the corner.

He grabbed Matt's hand and ran faster. They needed to reach the village before the army had a chance to leave. Such a strong and powerful illusion couldn't last for long, they'd be drained out of energy and it was too risky. Eurwyn had no doubt it wasn't the first time they were pulling such tricks, Matt and he had overheard it in different conversations that transited through their system, a few mission reports on the newly freed planets and how they'd been victim of other attacks.

Eurwyn gritted his teeth. Just when they thought the enemy was finally defeated, another one raised from its shadows. And no one was ready for another salve of battles. The population was worn out and such news would blow away whatever hope of a better future they had left. Even more if the new so called Emperor managed to reject the fault of those assaults on Voltron. He could already see it from there: _The legendary defender turned against you, they betrayed you, you need to trust me instead._

Lotor was having it both ways, reaching out his hands only to stab them in the back afterward.

He had to be stopped.

When they reached Hiʻiaka's entrance, Eurwyn felt the shift in the Trickster's mind. He felt their powers - _her_ powers, he realized - reaching out for him and he shuddered, feeling the sharp claws on him. Her mind was like an open storm and he fell deeper into its void.

He didn't even know when his powers had reached for hers or if hers had been the one to imprison him, all he knew was that he was frozen on spot and was unable to control his own power.

His mother had warned him that such things could happen. In the past, people had been locked away like that. You'd lose your mind, trapped in someone else's brain. And this knowledge didn't help at all the rising panic Eurwyn was feeling in his chest. Something, probably the same thing that kept her locked away, was keeping him from escaping the dreadful place that her mind had become. Silence surrounded him and he felt trapped, the overwhelming grief and pain she felt choking him.

The echoes of Matt's voice resonated around him. He was so far… So far away from him. He felt his conscience drifting away and even if he knew it was something he shouldn't let happen, the girl wasn't letting go of him. He didn't know if she was conscious of what her power was doing to him, but she was much stronger than he was, and she kept dragging him down.

He was drowning. He couldn't breathe. And the further he fell, more images flashed in front of him. But he didn't recognise the person in the pictures.

His life wasn't flashing in front of his eyes.

Hers was.

/

"Eurwyn!" Matt yelled once more. He didn't care anymore to be gentle, Eurwyn wasn't responding to him and it was scaring the hell out of him. He didn't know what Eurwyn had done but as soon as they had reached the town's place, the attack had stopped almost immediately. The illusions had collapsed in everyone's mind, and, just as Eurwyn had planned, the attackers had left right way.

The soldiers had been surrounding a young woman with long brown hair. As soon as Eurwyn had caught her sight, he had stopped in his track and so had the girl. Matt had realized at that moment that the soldiers were acting as a protective shield around her and Matt had understood who she was.

She was the trickster.

But before he could say anything else, Eurwyn had entered the stranger's mind.

And he hadn't come back.

"Eurwyn! Eurwyn, you stupid idiot! You're barely sixteen and too young to die now, so wake up." Matt shoved away the tears that had ran down Eurwyn's cheeks and stared at his clenched jaw and tightened fists. It really looked like he was in pain.

Matt felt a shudder run down his spine - could Eurwyn really die? Could he never wake up? Could he die without Matt able to help him in any sort of way? Without him even knowing what was wrong? Matt had never hated his Muggle status this much until now.

"How many times do I need to tell you that I'm not a wizard, Matt?" Eurwyn winced in Matt's arms.

"Eurwyn!" Matt called out, relief washing all over him, "What happened? Are you okay? You started crying and I couldn't reach you anymore. You scared me. I had never seen you like this…" Matt knew he was ranting again but he couldn't help it.

"The girl... the trickster…" Eurwyn winced as he tried to sat up and held his head upright.

"Did she do something to you?" Matt asked worriedly. He had been too worried about Eurwyn to think back to what had happen before, but he could still recall the girl tumbling on her feet and falling to the ground. This had been then that the soldiers had realized that something was wrong, and they had gone back to their ship right away, dragging the girl back with them.

"No... not really."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when I told you that I could enter the people's mind and see their emotions through colors and such? That I was able to read and feel people's thoughts once I got to know them better?"

"Yeah…"

"Well you see, no matter the person, no matter if I'm close to them or not, everyone has some walls up in their mind. Some doors to get through. Opened wide or locked, you have to get passed them. But the girl's mind…"

Matt didn't know where Eurwyn's train of thought was going but he prefered not to interrupt him and question him too much.

"In the girl's mind there weren't even walls anymore. It was like ruins, as if a tornado or some kind of destructive hurricane had went over it, leaving only despair and pain in its trail. I could feel it. It was excruciating. At first it was pitch black, there was nothing and then it was like I was falling into that void and I couldn't get out anymore."

"Eurwyn, what did you see?" Matt asked softly, rubbing his thumb on Eurwyn's palm. He had never seen Eurwyn so affected.

"Nothing at first. But then it was thousands of images coming my way, clawing at my brain. I couldn't get out. But I saw Atlantis and I saw him, they were the one who did it, Matt. Lotor killed Zarkon and he destroyed Atlantis and-"

Matt wasn't used to see Eurwyn so panicked and he hated this. Eurwyn was the cool head and he was the freaked out brain. That's how their duo worked. That's how it had always worked. So to see Eurwyn, who was panicking and on the verge of crying again at the memory, was terrifying.

"And now… Now he plans to use her powers to get what he wants. He's using her, Matt. He must have some druids with him. And Atlantis... she saw it. They destroyed an entire planet just to destroy her."

"No..."

"And Matt, the girl, she wasn't in control of anything anymore. In there, it was like an empty shell but something - something in her reached out for me and I saw the red dragon's head. I saw Tori and I saw the little Sammy again. I think I even saw the hellhound he was talking about."

"So she's part of the Scarlet Kaida?"

"I can't be a hundred percent sure, it was so confusing inside her head. I don't even think herself, remembered who she was."

"Then we have to warn the others," Matt responded calmly, "We have to call The Dragon's Lair and get informations from Tori as they might have more intel than we do. Then we find the Scarlet Kaida. And we do it fast, before anything worse happens."

"Let's do this, then." Eurwyn grunted as he got back on his feet. Matt guessed that after what had happened to him his head probably hurted like hell.

"No, Matt," Eurwyn corrected him, "I fainted on the floor like a child. My butt and ego are hurt."

Matt laughed, if Eurwyn could hear his thoughts and had the energy to joke again, then there was nothing to worry about. Not now anyway.

Notes: yes. i totally ended up with a new ship as i wrote this chapter. THIS WAS NOT PLANNED AT ALL I SWEAR (eurwyn my boi i love you 3)


	15. Unidentified Flying Body

SORRY CHAPTER 15 AND 16 WERE ALREADY AVAILAVLE ON AO3 BUT I GOT LAZY AND FORGOT TO POST THEM HERE TOO SO HAVE TWO CHAPTER IN ONE GO (if someone is still reading this story anyway. something i doubt)

* * *

Blue's excited purrs echoed in Lance's head.

 _Home. Home. Home…_

Just like the first day he had piloted her, she was whispering excitedly in his mind and energy had rushed through her as soon as the Castle had appeared on her radars. It had only been a day since they had been away, but it was enough for his Lion to miss the place.

Lance had to admit he was happy to go back too. Not that he hadn't enjoyed the bro time with Hunk, but attending to a meeting with merpeople when the threat of a new war was looming over your shoulders wasn't exactly what he could consider a 'nice cool break'.

A nice cool break was hanging with his friends downtown, swimming, chilling in the cool shade or melting in the heat. Lance missed all that. He missed milkshakes at the beach, basking under the sun, small talk with his friends and catching up with the family drama. He missed having the ability to do nothing and procrastinate all day.

Lance often found himself wondering how life was going on Earth. How was his family doing? How were they holding on? Did the little ones do their homework well? Was his abuela alright? How about his brother? Was Miguel and Trish's bakery doing good? Ginny was probably old enough to go to school now…

Lance often wondered and dreamed about his niece, imagining her hanging around in the garden with her new friends, listening to the last Disney musics and making flower bracelets. Damn. He was going to have a lot to catch up on when they'd get back - no way in hell was he leaving his Disney Karaoke Master title to anyone!

Lance missed Earth, missed home and missed everything about his ancient life. But he had come to accept the rollercoaster that it had become over the last few months. And, weirdly enough, Allura, Coran and his fellow paladin comrades had become his substitute family. He didn't want to imagine how he'd feel if there were to be hurt, or if anything happened to them. If any of them had to endure what Scarlet Kaida's captain was probably enduring.

Lance had no idea where Lucy was, but the little time he had spent with her had told him that she'd do anything for her crew and that disappearing like this for days was definitely not in her habit. Something must have happened and kept her from coming back. She hadn't died in the explosion of Zarkon's headquarters and it could only mean that she was kept against her will somewhere. Lance hoped that they were going to get her back soon.

He also hoped the people who had taken her (who were also responsible for the failure of their big final battle), whoever may they be, were hiding well somewhere because he sure as hell didn't want to be in their shoes when the Scarlet's crew was going to find them - and they _were_ , going to find them. Even if it was a hard task and took them an eternity to get their captain back, Lance knew they were determined to track them down and make them pay the full price of their actions.

Lance prayed that nothing bad had happened while they were away. He and Hunk had been busy with meetings and hour long talks with counselors, and hadn't had any minute to talk with the others. Surely nothing could happen in twenty four hours, right? Not that they had needed twenty four hours to be thrown into an intergalactic war and become the paladins of Voltron in the first place, but still.

But once again, Lance learned how hope was a useless thing in a war. Because, of course, something had happened and he couldn't believe how bad everything had become in the span of a few hours.

"So let me get this straight," Hunk started, trying just as hard as Lance not to scream and panic at the news - though right now, Hunk was quite better at that game. The seven of them were sitting in circle on the different seats of the room but the blank walls and soothing light of the Castle did nothing to appease the situation.

"You mean to tell us that, while we were away - which, I'd like to add, was only for barely a day - Lucy's planet was destroyed by who knows who, that her power on the ship is gone, that planets were attacked and that the inhabitants were convinced that _we_ , Voltron, were the one to attack them, that Zarkon had a son, who is now after us, probably holds Lucy prisoner and that she knows about him because she met him at the Arena and that, as if it wasn't already enough, this _Lotor_ , is probably using her powers against her will to turn the whole universe we tried so hard to free, against us?! Is that, _really_ , what you're trying to tell us?!"

Hunk was breathless and Lance was sure everyone could hear the panic and shock rising in his tone. How could so many things have happened in such a short amount of time?! Lance was frozen by such news.

"Pretty much, yeah…" Allura confirmed, a dark shadow on her face.

"And you might want to ask Jijii for her skincare routine, Lance," Pidge scoffed bitterly, her arms looped around her legs. "Because not only did she, Lucy, and Cosmo, went to the Arena, but Jijii also remained there for more than two hundred years until Lucy freed them."

"What?! Pidge! We were away for one freaking day! How come all of this-"

Lance didn't have the words anymore. His arms flopped to his sides. For once in his lifetime, he was speechless. The universe really liked putting them through shit, and making things harder for them, huh?

However, Lucy had been turned into a powerful and dangerous puppet by Zarkon's son?! This was another level.

"I hope your mission with Luxia went well," Coran added. "Because we sure need allies right now."

Hunk slowly started to explain how things had gone by with the merpeople but Lance zoned out. He already knew what Hunk was about to tell them, better news to receive than what they had just learned that was for sure.

Jijii.

He needed to see Jijii.

The woman had lost her captain, had just learned about her home planet's destruction and she had been through the horrors of the Arena for two centuries. Lance suddenly realized how much Lucy meant to her. She wasn't just her captain or her best friend, she had saved her life and had given her another reason to live, had put her back on track. With her snatched away from her again and learning that she was held captive by her worst enemy? She probably needed support. And he needed to check on her, just like she had done on Scarlet Kaida's deck, before the 'big final battle' when he had been anxious about his usefulness in battle.

Lance wanted to puke. How naive had he been to believe everything would go well?

"Lance?" Keith asked him with a puzzled look when he saw Lance jumped from his seat. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see them."

"What?!"

"This must have been an even harder blow for them so I need to go."

"Lance, it's the middle of the night," Shiro started, trying to bring the Blue Paladin back to his senses. "Besides, I don't think it's a good idea for us to bury our nose into their stories. I already made that mistake and I think they all need some time alone."

"Wrong."

And without further ado, Lance rushed out of the room. He knew that Shiro - and none of them for that matter - would go after him, because they all, more or less subconsciously, knew he was right. Time wasn't a luxury they had and night was the time for bad decisions to be taken. He didn't want anything worse to happen. Today's agenda had been busy enough.

Two minutes later, he was back in Blue's cockpit. She roared softly in his mind as they dashed outside once more.

Ever since the paladins had started to work with the Scarlet Kaida a month ago, their ship had always been in the vicinity of the Castle of the Lions. Which is why it didn't take him long to reach the pirates' vessel. He parked Blue in one of the hangar and climbed the stairs to the mainroom.

As he had expected, most of the crew was still up and they all stared at him, surprised and suspicious as he bursted into the room. Lance didn't recognize any of the faces he saw but he was taken aback by the shift in the atmosphere he could feel in the ship.

Lance hadn't been there for a lot of time but he had already noticed the darker circles under their eyes, the tension that arose from them and the missing decorations on the walls. The last time he had been in this room, it had been filled with music and laughter - but tonight, Scarlet Kaida didn't feel warm and safe anymore. It was as empty and cold as ever.

Lance gulped, trying to take a grip on his emotions.

"I don't bring any more news," he scurried as he denied with his hands.

 _No bad news but no good news either,_ he thought bitterly.

"I'm just looking for Jijii."

The mention of the Lieutenant's name - Captain's - did nothing to ease their tension and he tightened his fists, hoping that the crew hadn't shattered as hard as he had dreaded. Family was supposed to stick together, especially in the difficult and darker times. That was what his abuela had always taught him.

But judging by they sneers and gritted teeth, they apparently hadn't been raised the same way, and learning such a dark secret that had been kept from them all this time surely hurt a little.

A woman with a long brown ponytail sadly smiled at him and indicated the corridors that led upstairs. Lance didn't wait anymore and walked past them in a hurry. He didn't want to spend any more second in that weird ambiance.

But the weird feeling that clawed at his heart didn't stop when he reached the next deck and silent struck his ears.

Aside for the dim light of a small lamp a few feet away from him, the corridor was dark. Dark, cold and silent. The sight reminded Lance of the first time they had come on Scarlet Kaida, a few months ago, when led by Merryn, him and the others paladins had walked past this corridor for the first time.

Except he knew Scarlet Kaida now, and it was _never_ silent. There was always music, people talking and laughing, records of birds chirping in the trees or of the waves crashing on the shore. Scarlet Kaida was supposed to feel warm and safe, so why did he have all those goosebumps on his skin? What was this feeling creeping him out?

Something felt wrong, awfully wrong aboard the ship.

Home wasn't a place, it was the people who lived there, his abuela had once told him. And now? People were gone. Friends had died during battles. Their captain was gone. Trust had crumbled as the masks had fallen; and even a stranger like him could feel the toll the past events had had on the crew.

Facing truths was always a hard thing to do, but here? In space, in the middle of a war? Everything was just compounded. You couldn't run and hide and throw things and get away from the problems. It made you do stupid stuff. Say things you didn't want to or didn't really mean.

Lance could only remember how Allura had reacted when they had learned about Keith's Galra legacy. It had been harsh for her to be faced with such a truth at first, and she had felt betrayed and had rejected Keith for a while, even though he had nothing to do in the matter. But with time she had come around her feelings and had apologised for her actions.

Time. Again. Always the same answers.

And that's what the crew probably needed too, in order to digest everything they had just learned and realize it didn't matter and didn't change anything. That it _shouldn't_ change anything.

But Lance feared that, even as loving and lively as they were, they were just as stubborn as the pirates from his childhood tales. They'd bottle it up and hold grudges, and one day it would explode once more and if Lucy wasn't back to pull her family back together, Lance was affrayed the Scarlet Kaida would fall apart just like the Blade of Marmora had crumbled apart.

The darkness at the end of the corridors moved and suddenly Jijii and Merryn appeared on the corner. Lance hadn't seen Merryn in a while and he was once again struck by her size. Her crimson irises glinted in the dark and if it wasn't for her joyful bark, Lance would have fear for his life. The hound's head was reaching the hood of the young woman but she didn't seem bothered by it. Lance guessed that after years spent at her side, she had gotten used to it. He just hoped for Jijii that Merryn hadn't so much of a bad breath.

 _Lance. Focus._

"Going somewhere?"

"Lance? What are you doing here?"

The surprised look in Jijii's eyes didn't last long and she regained her composure in a heartbeat. Becoming interim captain had changed nothing to her outfit and she was still wearing the same high knee steal boots and red cape. Lance could see the glint of her dark blade under the flickering fire of Merryn's fangs. Jijii's feature remained still as stone.

"Just checking on the crew. I just learned about…"

"Oh. It's true that you were away with Hunk all this time."

"Yeah." Lance fiddled with the with the hem of his shirt. What should he say now that he was here and that she was in front of him? As determined he had been to find her and to talk to her, he hadn't really thought things through - as always - and now found himself clueless on the way to find his words.

"I hope we don't have other problems to add to the list?"

"No. Not from the merpeople anyway," he assured her. "They're still with us and aren't backing off like most of the others, but after all the crazy shit that happened while we were gone, I guess and I hope that it will open their eyes on the situation."

"Crazy shit, indeed." Jijii's gaze drifted away for a second as her voice dropped. Lance had never seen her so lifeless and he didn't like this. It reminded him of the look on Allura or Coran's face when king Alfor was mentioned or of Pidge's state when the anxiety of never getting her brother back kicked in.

"Were you about to add more to the agenda?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you've got your sword, the cloak and the attitude of someone going somewhere. So I was just wondering."

"And what if I was? Why would you care, Lance?"

"Because I don't want any more things to happen. Especially today, and because it's also the middle of the night."

"I need to meet up with some friends. Maybe they'll have more informations than the villagers. If we're lucky, they'll have at least little memory left about what happened."

Lance recalled what Pidge and the others had told them about the investigation they had managed to make during the afternoon after the attack. But it had been useless, none of the villegarers they had interrogated remembered anything. If it wasn't for the bullet holes in the walls there was no proof in their minds that something had happened and they all suffered from a sort of collective amnesia when it came to that particular day. And given what the camera had managed to tell Pidge and Hunk, apparently the attack had been interrupted.

Something had gone wrong and maybe it was the small mishap they needed to bring Lotor to his knees. They needed to find the reason behind the attack's failure and maybe, maybe they could do it again and prevent more attacks to happen. This wasn't much but it was more lead than they had had in the past week.

"Meet up with friends? Now? Surely it can wait tomorrow or at least a few hours for you to get some rest, Jijii. You can't go there alone, in the middle of the night in unknown town on an unknown planet."

"Scared of the darkness, McClain?" Jijii scoffed, a smirk finally splitted across her lips.

"No, but I don't think it would be reasonable. And we don't know what crazy stuff is awake at night on that planet. Could be dangerous. Even for you."

Jijii rolled her eyes. Lance hoped it wasn't going to go the other way around and instead of convincing her not to go his words were going to turn this into a dare. He knew how they all had a liking for competitivity.

"So, if I may address my opinion, Captain, I think it'd be more wise to wait until sunrise. Which only is in a couple hours, enough for you to recharge your batteries. Besides, at this hour I don't think you'll get any intel beside an angry dagger to the chest for waking them up. I've came to understood that most of the species out there are angry sleeper."

A defeated sigh escaped her lips and she grumbled. "Yeah, okay. You win for today. I'll wait until tomorrow. "

"Good, glad my advice was useful. The Blue Paladin and his Lion are always here to help those in need." He winked and aimed finger guns at her.

"I'm not a princess in need of paladin in his shining armor, Lance," she laughed and kept walking, inviting him to follow him.

"You're right… Little Red Riding Hood."

"I'm not ashamed of my size in any kind and I could punch you just for the sake of such intended insult."

"Then who are you? The Nanny? The Hunter? Merryn is obviously the big bad wolf."

"As if. She wouldn't hurt anyone. She'd never eat or threaten a little girl in the woods. She'd tease and scare her away maybe, but with the only purpose of stealing her basket and biscuits. Much like Lucy, Merryn is a walking stomach."

Lance laughed at her comment, and as if on cue, Merryn licked her lips and disappeared in a mist of black shadows, probably looking for a midnight snack.

"Okay, I think I'm going to do just like her and grab some snacks. I haven't eaten something decent in a few days."

"Damn, you need to eat Jijii! How do you expect to save the day if your stomach's empty?"

"But cappu counts, right?"

"Cappuccino definitely doesn't count as a meal."

"Why does everyone have to agree with Luce on this, damn it?" Jijii grumbled, pouting as she crossed her arms.

"Maybe because she's the captain and is the Voice of Reason aboard this ship?"

Jijii burst out laughing. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because Lucy is the type of girl who can survive of off sweets for years if no one stops her."

"And? Sweets are great."

"How is that better than cappuccino?!"

"Fruits can taste like soda so you have your drink. And many taste like fruits so here you have it, five fruits and vegetables a day as they say. Healthy."

Jijii rolled her eyes, not at all agreeing with his argumentation. "This is the shittiest excuse I've ever heard. And believe me, I've heard many with Lucy."

It was Lance's turn to laugh. His proud scoff soon turned into a tired yawn and he stretched his arms over his head. He hadn't realized how badly the travel and the meetings had exhausted him.

"You should probably take a nap and recharge your batteries too, Blue Paladin."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I think you could fool everyone else but I'm a ninja trained to read people's emotions and I can tell that you're tired." Jijii's smiled and pointed at the end of the corridors where the room he had shared with Shiro when the Castle was on Olkari was. "It's still free for you to use if you need it."

Lance didn't object and as Jijii turned back to follow Merryn's footsteps to the kitchen, he crashed on the bed and fell asleep before he could say quiznak.

/

Aria sat at the breakfast table beside Lo. It was still early but most of them were already up and she found herself wondering how many of them had spent the night here. Tori was still at the same table at which she had seen last night. Aria couldn't tell from where she was if the mug that sat in front of Tori was still the same.

Aria had managed to get a little sleep at least and the small glow of her necklace had eased her thoughts enough for her to rest. But waking up this morning acknowledged that everything that happened hadn't been a dream. All of it was real. Atlantis was destroyed. Lucy had been turned into a puppet by her worst enemy. Jijii, Lucy, Cosmo, had been in the arena. And she was a horrible best friend.

A loud sigh escaped her lips and Lo's hand came to cover her fingers. They had been awake for an hour already and Lo had been there to talk with her and listen to her miserable thoughts and she had been able to put her pride aside and explain to her what was wrong.

"Do you feel bad?" the scientist asked, her cup of honey milk in her palm. Condensation from the steam of her cup had disappeared from her glasses and Aria could now see Lo's sharp irises look right through her.

"Yes Lo, I do."

"Do you regret what you said?"

"Another yes."

"Then you need to apologise. It's as simple as that."

Aria hated the tone she used. As if it was easy? Plus, even if she wanted to, Cosmo would probably not want to hear about her. As soon as they had gotten back from the investigation on the attack he had disappeared into his lab and she hadn't seen him since. Not that she had tried to look for him either.

But she wouldn't know until she really tried, right?

"You're right Lo. I need to apologise to Cosmo, and to Jijii too while I'm at it. And I'm going to do it right now."

"Great, let's go then," Lo chirped, careful to lift her chair so it wouldn't scratch on the floor in a very annoying and ear-killing way.

It didn't take them long to find the engineer as he had, indeed, not moved from his lab since the previous day. Hidden behind a pile of books and crumbled papers, he had startled when they had come into his hideout.

Aria had, as always, overreacted and made the situation worse than it really was and Lo had smiled proudly when Cosmo and her had hugged it out. They would probably need to talk afterward but it was a first step on the road to forgiveness.

If finding Cosmo hadn't been a hard task, finding Jijii was turning into a hard quest. Where had their lieutenant disappeared too? Knowing her, she couldn't still be asleep at that time - if she had slept at all - and they just had to find where their Fire Oyster Ninja of an interim captain had disappeared to.

Cosmo had followed after them to search for Jijii too as he wanted to check on her as well, but Jijii remained untraceable.

"Why do those girls disappear when we need to have a talk and tell them we love them, damn it?!" Aria grumbled as she checked yet another empty room. Cosmo shrugged. He was probably used to it but Aria found it insuffurrating. She wanted to apologize for her shitty attitude so why did Jijii have to make it an even harder task?!

After another thirty minutes of aimless wandering, they had to come to a conclusion that wasn't funny at all.

Jijii was gone.

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Aeris and Tori shouted in unison behind their pyramid of empty cups.

"Gone as in we've searched everywhere and she's nowhere to be found."

"We had enough with Lucy and now she's gone poof too? Where the hell could she be?"

"I swear if she tried to ran solo again…"

"Well," Cosmo signed sloppily. "With what happened yesterday, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Is everything alright?" the small group turned in unission to the newcomer. The Blue Paladin was standing in front of them, sipping black coffee from a chipped cup.

"Lance?" Lo bewildered. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I came around last night to check on you all and how you were doing after… well after what happened yesterday."

"It's true that you were looking for her last night," Tori recalled, dodging the memory of yesterday's dreadful events. "Did you find her? Was she still on board at that time?"

"Yes, thanks for the intel. But wait, "still on board"? What are you talking about?"

"Jijii's gone." Aria deadpanned

Lance nearly choked on his cup. "She is _what_ now?"

""We've looked everywhere and she's nowhere to be found. You were probably the last one to see her."

"Damn it. I told her to wait and not to leave."

"You know where she went?"

"Well last night she had all her gears ready to go and she was telling me how she needed to see some friends, that maybe they'd have more answers. I convinced her to wait for today, so she could rest first and recharge her batteries."

"And she said she wasn't going to go?"

"Yes?"

"And you believed her?!" Aria knew that if Cosmo had still had the ability to speak he'd have shrieked. But she guessed the face palm and the deep sigh was enough for Lance to understand his disappointment.

"Besides, you're really sure she said she was going to meet friends?"

"Yes. 'I need to meet up with some friends. Maybe they'll have more informations than the villagers. If we're lucky, they'll have at least little memory left about what happened', that's what she told me."

"The bitch has no friends!" Cosmo signed, even more agitated now.

"Cosmo! Language!" Tori scolded. "But he's right, Lance. Jijii doesn't know anyone on that planet. We're her only friends, Lance."

"Were," Aria corrected. "I am not so sure she still sees us as such after yesterday."

"She lied to you Lance," Aeris added. "Because that's what she does when Lucy's safety is involved and when she thinks she can't count on us anymore."

"She ain't getting rid of us that easily," Lo puffed.

The scientist looked around the room and whistled in Merryn's direction. Unbeknownst to them until now, the hound was sitting alone in her corner, whimpering. She tilted her head in Lo's direction and appeared in front of them right away.

The hound nuzzled Lo's shoulder and whined - a single look at her was enough to understand that both her buddies were gone now.

Was it possible for hellhounds to get fear of abandonment? Lance wondered.

"Come here bud," Lo said as she patted the hound's head. "We're gonna find your mama before she does anything stupid."

Merryn barked and teleported them all to the hangar - another proof that Jijii wasn't on Scarlet Kaida anymore. However, their surprise didn't end here.

Jijii wasn't the only one missing on board.

The Blue Lion wasn't there anymore either.

/

Jijii grumbled and dodged another merchant before the content of the basket they were carrying on their head spilled on her clothes. There were some cons to being a small ninja inside a crowd of busy salesmen.

It was a good thing that Lance had been the one to surprise her in the corridors, she had managed to play with his naivety. He didn't know her well enough to see past her fake smile and promises. On his behalf, only a few members of the crew did. But even if she had managed to break through Lance's suspiciousness, Jijii knew that unless it had been Aeris or Tori, the others wouldn't have probably said anything to her. Either from the anger they still felt towards her, or from the fear they had to be the target of one more outburst.

But the night had more surprises in store and as soon as she had stepped into the hangar were smaller ships were kept in, the Blue Lion's eyes had lit up in the darkness. Merryn, who had once again joined her, cowered at the sight of the giant kitty coming to life and disappeared upstairs right away. Jijii had turned her attention back to the Lion and had heard her soothing purrs in her head. She was offering her a ride.

 _Always here to help those in need, huh?_ Jijii had smiled at the sight, and even if she knew it was a sneaky way for Blue to know where she intended to go (and make up for the carelessness of her paladin), Jijii was honored nonetheless and couldn't refuse the offer.

The Blue Lion had headed straight away for Haumea, reading the destination in her mind, and barely twenty minutes later they were both landing nearby the village of Hi'iaka.

Now, the colors of the night sky had faded and were slowly being replaced by the pink and purple hues of dawn. She'd searched all night. Looked for people they hadn't interrogated yet, but even the black market had been affected by the withdrawal of the attack. Jijii didn't know what had happened, and had no idea what could have possibly caused this amnesia they all seemed to suffer from. No one knew anything and it was as if the memories had been wiped out from their heads.

It was… unusual.

Lucy's power were certainly unable to do something like this on their own and from that knowledge, Jijii could only understand that the Galra had more control over her than she wished for.

The realisation only pissed her off even more. No one here was able to give her any useful informations. Jijii kicked an empty bottle on the ground. No one here was useful in any kinds to her research. The purple glass exploded on a nearby wall. She was once again stuck and was thrown back to square one. Jijii bared her teeth at the shopper's scolding eyes.

The morning streets were getting busier by the second and she needed to get out. She had no need for the street hawkings and the wandering hands of pickpockets. She was not in the mood to deal with them.

As she turned the corner of the street, the rising sun, no longer hidden by the buildings, blinded her for a second. She raised her arms to cover her eyes from the blinding light but an object on her left suddenly caught the rays of light, and her attention with it. Jijii whipped her head around in the golden spark's direction. She didn't need her sharp eyesight to realize what she had just seen.

A dangling golden necklace.

One she knew too well to miss, even in the middle of a crowd. It had only lasted for a second but she had recognised it right away. How could she not? Lucy never removed her necklace, even when she slept. Jijii could draw its design from memory.

Jijii ran forward, desperate to find its trail again.

/

When Eurwyn came out of Zarifa's bar, it was with more new questions than he had had when he had passed the threshold one hour ago.

Just like _The Dragon's Lair_ , her bar was a great place for rebel spies to listen to the whispers of the Galra sentries. Afterall, who would get suspicious of an old blind lady? Galra and their values of the strongest were going to be their downfall, one day. Zarifa was one of their most efficient spies and many attacks in the region and beyond had been countered thanks to her sharp ears and her strong cocktails that numbed even the strongest warriors.

Her bar was situated just across the marketplace and as the dawn arose, it was the perfect time to come and use the secured line that she possessed upstairs. Eurwyn had been able to reach his superiors and report the event that had occured the day before. Now, at least, they knew too that Lotor was against them and had a Trickster among his ranks.

His questioning had remained useless as all the population had forgotten about what had happened. Even Zarifa was blaming the rogues she'd often hear at night for the fresh bullet holes on her front wall. No one had been spared from the backlash of such an illusion breaking apart in their mind. And now that he had called Natsilane, he knew how worse the situation really was.

Not only Lotor had a Trickster in his ranks but that Trickster turned out to be Lucy. She was once again in his claws and, given the information Natsilane had been able - or willing - to give him, Scarlet's crew had no idea where Lotor was keeping her. Until now, they had probably had no idea either that her powers were used on such a scale. Fake attacks, powerful illusions, mind manipulations… How far was Lotor willing to go? How long would Lucy's body hold? If he kept using her powers like that…

Eurwyn shuddered at the memory. Her memories. Flashing in front of his eyes as he witnessed the damage that had already been made. She was losing herself and it was only because of his talk with Natsilane that he was sure of her identity. When he had been thrown into her mind, it was as if she didn't remember her own name.

He hoped that more answers would come soon. Backup would arrive tomorrow and by then, maybe, Matt would have break through the network firewall they were unable to break through. If only…

Eurwyn startled.

Someone was following him.

He didn't know who it was nor where they were hiding in the crowd but he could definitely feel the dark aura following him around ever since he had crossed the marketplace. Before he could acknowledge another thought, he was slammed against the wall by a red cloaked figure.

The deep black that bled from their mind and flooded in his own unsettled him at first but the glint of their, just as black, blade was enough for him to regain his composure and fought back.

He kicked their legs and punched their stomach. They flinched back and rolled on the side as he drew his daggers and threw two in the air. Their hood fell and a long brown ponytail escaped its fabric shield.

"Who the hell are you?!"

The red woman didn't answer and charged once more, one of his dagger in her hand, her sword in the other.

/

"So…" Shiro started out of the blue, his voice trailing with the intonation responsible for his 'Space Dad' nickname. "Lance. Is something going on between you and Jijii?"

"What?!"

 _Where is this suddenly coming from?!_

"Well, you've spent a lot of time with her, you slept there last night and didn't come back until this morning and you're also the only person who knew about her whereabouts."

Shiro always had an argumentation plan ready in his mind but for once, Lance gaped at the bullshit he was implying.

"And? How does it create such thoughts in your brain, Shiro? You? Out of everyone else? Besides, are you ignoring the fact that I came to ask for back up so we could help the crew find their substitute captain again?"

"Doesn't exclude the possibility that maybe…"

"Oh my god, Shiro, stop! It's not like that!"

"I think this is the first time I see Lance denying lady conquests."

Lance heard Pidge's shitty grin even through the headset. How did it end like this? They were in the middle of a crowded marketplace and even in the morning heat of Haumea they had to wear cloaks in order for the inhabitants not to recognise them. They had after all, become the enemy in the eyes of many citizens all across the universe, in the span of a few days.

Lo, Cosmo and Merryn were walking a few feet ahead of them as the hound followed carefully Jijii's trail. She was the only one able to find Jijii if she had decided to hide. Pidge and Hunk were getting through the surveillance system once again to try and locate her and provided immediate backup if Jijii was to escape them. But right now he felt like the trap had closed on him instead and Keith and Shiro on each of his sides provided no escape route.

What the hell was wrong with his teammates? He hadn't realize he had that much influence on their minds for them to see such things. And he was a little wounded that they thought so little of him.

"Jijii and I are just _friends_ , guys! Well… I don't know if that's exactly the word to use given that she's like super off and all but-"

Lance felt the inquiring eyes of Shiro fell on him and he found himself wishing for something, anything to get him out of this mess. Maybe it was just a weird dream and he'd wake up in his room. Maybe this whole thing of Voltron and all was a big dream and he had imagined all of it until now. He pinched his arm and once again his hopes fell apart. He was not in a dream.

And while he was lost in his thoughts Pidge and Hunk had kept on talking and laughed about Lance's latest failed attempt at conquering a woman's heart.

 _Anything. Please. End this nightmare._

Lance had certainly not expected a flying body to cause the end of his misery.

Lance, Shiro and Keith darted their head upwards as someone crashed on the other side of the street, in the small dark alley they were about to pass by.

"What the hell?!" Keith exclaimed, just as shocked to see this… unidentified flying body, coming across them.

Hand on their bayards, the three paladins turned back in the direction the body had came from, ready to fight if it turned out to be necessary. They weren't here to stop the market's brawls but they couldn't let it escalate either.

When they saw the assailant however, they stopped midstep.

"Ji- Jijii?!" they all blurted in unison.

The woman didn't hear them and charged once more, about to launch a fireball in the stranger's direction. Even on the battlefield, Lance had never seen raw anger in her eyes. Black blood dripped from her eyebrow arch and either her blood was on the stranger's face too, or he was a fellow Atlantean.

Merryn barked, finally catching Jijii's attention. And before she could launch her attack, Cosmo appeared in her back thanks to the hound's abilities and smacked her unconscious.

Lo checked on her right away. "Cosmo!" she rumbled. "We were looking forward to stop her, not hurt her!"

"Well," Cosmo signed with an innocent smile plastered on his face. "She's stopped now, hasn't she?"

"Admit it. You'd be itching to do it."

Cosmo only shrugged and picked Jijii on the ground and took her on his shoulder.

"What do we do now?" Shiro asked the two pirates. "Surely we can't leave the other one there, can we?"

"No," the scientist answered, putting her glasses back on her nose as she got closer to the Flying Man and examined him quickly. "We need to take him with us. I'm sure Jijii had a good reason to attack him and, afterall, he might be the one carrying the answers we've been looking for."

"Yes, maybe," Shiro agreed, looking back at the unconscious man in front of them.

The small group gathered around him and Merryn teleported them out of town where Blue - who had been the one to send a signal in the first place - and the others Lions were waiting for them.


	16. Siblings

Eurwyn flicked his eyes open and regretted doing so right away. His head hurt - a lot. What happened? Where the hell was he? How long had he been unconscious? He had no idea. The only thing he knew for sure was that Matt was going to kill him.

How did he even end up here? He hadn't rushed into a battlefield without a plan or crashed in the middle of a mafia reunion or anything like that for once. He had just been walking home after talking to Natsilane and checking on Zarifa. Just as planned. What had happened afterward? It was blurry and Eurwyn knew his harsh landing on the wall wasn't helping - good thing his parents were right about him having a strong head.

His head was throbbing and if it was already annoying for a normal person, it was even more painful to someone gifted with mind abilities. It was as if millions of bells were ringing in his skulls and each time he moved, painful fireworks of colors exploded in his mind.

He winced, trying to focus on something. He only needed to get a grip on his power for now. One thing at a time.

A deep black void tugged at his mind and his memories came back to him in a flash. The Red Fury. She had launched on him all of a sudden and he had barely had the chance to understand that she was following him that he had found himself with a dagger up his throat.

What did she even want with him? Why had she attacked him? She didn't seem to be one of the rogues from the village, hadn't even reached for his pockets or anything - she had just launched on him and the utter wrath in both her mind and eyes had been terrifying.

 _Matt is definitely going to kill me, but he better arrive fast or that fury is gonna beat him to it._

Why did troubles always come to find him even when he wasn't looking for them? This wasn't fair. At all.

The woman's blood had dripped black, and if she was indeed from Atlantis, who knew the powers her group possessed if she wasn't alone. He was in deep shit.

A doorknob clicked in the darkness.

Eurwyn remained still, keeping his head down.

The dark aura was coming closer and she wasn't alone. There were hundreds of people in the building he was kept in and he could feel their buzzing mind tugging at his own, could see the flicker of angry shades of red, of yellow's betrayal sting and so many other colors. Blue. Gray. Purple… All of them melding and shifting in sync with their emotions.

He needed to find a plan.

And fast.

/

Jijii carefully removed the padlock and opened the door, trying to make as little sound as possible. Tied up on a chair in the middle of their flour's stock sat the stranger. He was breathing, which was a good sign considering his crash landing barely a few hours ago.

She turned back to her crewmates standing behind her. "So you really locked him up in the cellar, huh?"

"It was the closest room available where we could put him while we waited for you to wake up, Jijii," Shiro answered her. He was standing behind the others, towering over Aria, Keith, and Lance who stood next to him.

"Sorry for the hit by the way, Jijii." Lo tried to apologize, scratching the back of her head.

"Don't take the blame for him, Lo," Jijii addressed the scientist, turning her gaze back to the engineer standing right beside her. "I saw Cosmo, and he enjoyed this _way_ too much for his own sake." But her glare only earned her a wink from him.

"So now, can someone finally explain to me the need to lock someone in my kitchen?"

"Good question Ash," Tori nodded. "Jijii?"

"What?"

"Would you care to enlighten us on the situation?"

"Oh."

"Who's that guy?"

"No idea."

"What do you mean 'no idea'?!" Lo shouted. "You were ready to _roast_ him when we arrived!"

"...so now we need the person's name before turning them into barbecue material?" Jijii pondered. "I wasn't aware of the change in the rules. My bad!"

"Jijii! Come on," Lo sighed. "Be serious for once, please!"

"I am! Lo, I've no idea who that guy is." Jijii countered, hearing the exhaustion of Lo's tone and how on edge she seemed to be behind that tired smile.

Jijii's hand dived into her pocket, feeling the cold metal under her hands, tracing its design with her fingertips. She took a deep breath and looked at the others once more. If she didn't want them on her trail all the time, she needed to give them some of the answers they were craving for.

"I don't know who that man is… But he had this."

The group gasped at the sight of the locket. The gold shimmered under the light as colors drained from everyone's face.

"Isn't this…?"

Shiro stared at the chain that Cosmo was now taking in his own hands. The engineer was shocked and didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that the necklace could be there when its bearer wasn't.

"Yes," Aria answered in a dreadful tone. "That's Lucy's necklace."

"It is indeed," Jijii confirmed. "And that bastard was about to answer my questions when you arrived."

"Yeah, right."

Shiro stared at Lo. The scientist looked just as convinced as if Jiji had told her the sun was the one to turn around the planets.

"I don't like this," Keith whispered at his side. "I feel like they're going to do something stupid."

"Oh? And how would you know?"

"I would know, Lance, because it's exactly what I'd do in that situation. And I don't think that interrogation they're about to do is going to go very well."

"Damn," Lance joked. "Who are you and what have you done with Keith?"

Keith huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest, focusing back on the situation in front of them. Judging by their shock and the tension that had been building up for days (without forgetting the stress and grief of the years that had gone by beforehand), such interrogation could go one way or another and Keith didn't really know yet how far it could go or how worse the situation could become.

Again.

Keith startled and stared as Jijii suddenly turned back to the door and opened it. A ray of light pierced through the darkness of the cellar but the prisoner remained still. She switched on the light in the room and no one missed the slight movement his body made when she did so. He was awake.

Jijii walked with a firm step toward him and stopped right in front of his chair. His two pale blue eyes stared right back at her. At least he didn't feign being asleep.

The rest of the group followed after their leader and stood in a circle around the man. Ash cursed their idea of locking him in the cellar. Surely they were going to wait for him to answer their questions before they were going to turn him to ashes right? It would be a mess to distinguish the ashes from the flour if they did so and Ash hated to throw away food and unused groceries.

"Where did you get that?" Jijii asked, pointing at the pendant that was dangling from Cosmo's clenched fist.

The stranger didn't look scared when Jijii started to interrogate him, nor did he shudder when Cosmo walked closer. But, Keith realized as the stranger's eyes lingered on the pendant, he looked relieved. As if he was glad he hadn't lost the necklace in the fight.

But as questions filled the air, his face remained unreadable.

"Did you take it from her?"

"Who are you?"

"Is that some sort of trophy for you?"

"Only a weird-ass bastard would do that."

Keith wondered if he had been through interrogation before or if he had been trained for it.

"I don't know what you're all talking about," the stranger finally talked. "And if this all display really is about that necklace? It belongs to me. I didn't steal it."

"Stop lying already and tell us where did you get Lucy's pendant, bastard!?"

"Lucy?" Keith didn't miss the spark that lit up in the stranger's eyes. "Lucy Fair?"

Merryn growled at the mention of her captain's name, hot flames flashing on her fur. The stranger didn't even flinch and Lance wondered what atrocities he had faced in his life not to be even phased by the idea of a freaking hellhound growling at his face when he was held prisoner by an angry pirate gang. What had space done to everyone?!

Lo was the first one to speak, tightening her grip on her cape to keep her hands from shaking.

"How do you know her name?"

"Everyone knows her name," the stranger deadpanned as if it was obvious. "Everyone knows Lucy Fair, captain of the Scarlet Kaida, a fierce and talented warrior who defeated many with her crew at her side. She's done a lot of cool stuff and was a pain in the ass to the Empire and Zarkon, which earns her some good points. Is that true that you once…?"

"How do you know who we are?"

"I may be attached but I'm not blind. You have its emblem on your sleeve. Scarlet Kaida is well known among the Freedom Fighters."

Jijii laughed. "So, after telling us that you didn't steal that from our captain, you're now going to tell us that you're part of the Freedom Fighters? Yeah, right."

"That's exactly the case. I am on a mission on Haumea and my partner and I's base is situated near Hi'iaka. I was checking on the villagers after the attack when _you_ attacked me. For no reason whatsoever."

"You forget the big detail that _you_ were bearing my missing captain's necklace around your neck."

"This necklace doesn't belong to anyone else but me, I've told you so already. And if you don't untie me right now and let me check in with my superiors you'll find yourself with more troubles than you wished for."

"Sure."

"I told you, I'm part of the Rebellion, just like you I fight against the Empire, fought against Zarkon and now fight against his wannabe successor and son, Lotor. And every day I must hand in my report and they were waiting for one when you attacked me. So I don't know how long I've been kept here already but if my partner isn't on my trail already, he will soon be. And so will the backup units that were arriving shortly after the attack that happened yesterday."

"Of course."

"You need to release me. Now."

"It is just another lie. Why don't you start telling the truth for once-"

Shiro felt the rush of cold air as Merryn appeared in the room once more. He hadn't even noticed she had left. And as the dark mist faded, they all were able to notice that she wasn't alone anymore. Jijii whipped her head around at the sound.

"Sammy?! What are you doing here?"

The little boy blinked as if surprised to see so many people in there.

"I woke up and I was hungry so I came here looking for breakfast and Merryn appeared when I was coming down the stairs and… here I am."

And as if to remind them all that it was indeed breakfast time for him, his stomach growled. Sammy grabbed an apple and stared at all of them. The sound of his teeth biting through the apple's flesh was the only noise in the room.

When Sammy didn't get the explanations he thought they were going to give them, he turned back to Jijii.

"What are you all doing here? And why is Mister Pale-Blue-Eyes tied to a chair?"

"Why do you ask this as if you already know the guy, Sammy?" Jijii asked curiously. And Shiro could only relate to her surprised state; how could a child know more than they did? Even the youngest members of the crew were full of surprise.

"He was at the inn the other day."

"Tori?" Jijii turned to the woman who seemed to just have had a bolt of realization. "Would you care to enlighten us on the situation?"

"Knew he reminded me of someone," Tori muttered as she stared at the prisoner.

"You're getting rusty, Tori."

"Jijii now is not the time."

"Sure thing, old lady."

Tori huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Sammy only grew more confused.

"So what is Mr. Pale-Blue-Eyes doing here? Did he and his brunette buddy do something wrong? I thought Rebel Fighters were on our side?"

At his statement, the prisoner scoffed and turned his gaze back to them. "See? I've been telling you that all along." Shiro had a feeling that if he could high five Sammy, he would. "I'm not a liar. And if you were to go back you'd find my shack at the top of the hills."

"Why should we trust you?"

"You have no reason to do so. But I've no reason to lie either. Lucy's life is in danger and you're her crew. Surely you'll do anything to protect her and get her back right? So the sooner you realize I'm not the one you're looking for, the sooner you'll get back to your research."

The floorboards barely creaked when Jijii turned back and crossed the room towards the door. The group followed her outside, it was time for them to have a little chat about how to handle the rest of the situation and Shiro wasn't determined to start a fight with the Freedom Fighters Alliance, which the prisoner claimed to be part of.

Allura and Kolivan had been trying for months to reach them but, just like the Blade of Marmora, they were an organization fighting against the mighty Galra Empire and therefore, they knew how to hide and cover their trail. Which was good when you were keeping yourself from being followed by the Empire's troops but didn't help when fellow freedom organizations were trying to reach you.

"So, what do we do?" Lo asked as she mindlessly cleaned her glasses to keep her hand busy. "And crushing him or turning him to dust is not an option."

"Yes," Ash agreed. "Especially not in my kitchen, and not in front of the kid."

"Wow, Lo, Ash, thank you for your trust," Jijii smirked as she faked outrage. "It warms my heart."

"Maybe," Lance started. "Maybe if he indeed told the truth about the Freedom Fighters thingy, maybe he also told the truth about the necklace."

"That's impossible," Jijii denied.

"Jijii-"

"Lance, this isn't only bloodlust talking. This is impossible. Lucy's necklace is a unique design, no one has the same. She had it ever since I've known her and she's never removed it. Never. And no one, even a so-called Freedom Fighter, should have it."

"Plus, when he was at the inn," Tori added, still deep in her thoughts as she was trying to recall every possible detail. "The twins and Sammy mentioned Lucy in front of them and Mr. Blue Eyes over there looked pretty shaken up. They didn't even stay after that, he took his buddy by the arm and he rushed outside. I never had the opportunity to confirm if they were both indeed the Fighters he now claims to be."

"Well," Aria proposed. "I say we find a way to confirm what he said so far. If he is indeed a Freedom Fighter like he claims to be -and considering what Sammy told us, it should be true - maybe part of the other things he said is also true. And I don't think any of us here is wishing for those backup units he mentioned to come after us. We've got enough things on our To Do List already for us to deal with them."

"That's easy," Shiro explained. "Hunk and Pidge are still there. We only left one hour ago and they remained behind in case something came up. So I say we ask them to check on that base he told us about."

"Hi'iaka is in a pretty desertic area," Keith added. "Surely when he said nearby, he meant outside of the village. He doesn't have the necessary outfit of someone who traveled a long way toward the village."

"That sounds like a good idea for now," Jijii agreed. "Let's do that."

/

As soon as they got Shiro's message, Pidge and Hunk backtracked and went back to the village's entrance. The hills Shiro had mentioned were barely a few miles away and it only took them half an hour to reach the hill Shiro had indicated them and climb its slope. High trees grew on its side and provided them with enough shade not to melt into the heat. The sun was at its zenith and no one except for them and a few merchants had been wandering the streets when they had been in Hi'iaka.

Pidge cheered when they finally reached the top. Hidden from sight by the high trees until now, a small building sat on top of the hill. At first sight, it looked abandoned and the crippled paint on the wall indicated everything but inhabitants. But the paladins knew better than trust appearance and stepped forward, hands on their bayards.

The shack was empty.

Aside from a bed and a small kitchen, there was nothing in the room.

"It doesn't add up," Hunk murmured. "If it's supposed to be one of their base there should be computers, communication lines and all."

Pidge noded. "Plus, I see nothing that is connected to the antenna we saw outside earlier, there must be some kind of basement underneath. And, if they had to hide from the Galra officers for three hundred of years on this planet, that would make sense that they used their brain to their advantage."

"Yup."

The two of them looked around the house and after a few minutes of research, they found the entrance door, hidden behind a broken mirror. The floor opened itself in the middle of the room.

"Team Punk does it again!" they both cheered, high fiving each other.

The underground basement was very different from the house upstairs and everything looked much more like the spy facility they were looking for. An orange shade of light coming from the computers screens all around illuminated the room, cables slithered on the ground and a huge map of the Galra Empire was plastered on the wall. Red crosses had been drawn over it and colorful wires had been pinned to it as if to indicate the location the rebels had managed to freed, bases and transport networks.

Pidge was bewildered by such sight, combined with their own map, this would help a lot to snuff out the remaining flames of the Galran Empire. With that, they could win. Knowledge was key to win a war and this was a useful source of intel they had just found.

While Pidge looked out for the main room and inspected the different data that she could see, Hunk inspected the corridors. Only two of the ten rooms seemed to be used and he found an empty stack of mugs and scattered pens in one of them. A beautiful sketch of Hi'iaka's landscape had been pinned to the wall.

The corridor was another dead end and aside from the rooms, there was nothing to see. Hunk came back to the main room and gasped when a shadow fell from the roof, right above Pidge.

"Pidge! Watch out!" he shouted in her direction. She dodged the attack at the last second and drew her bayard. Due to her surprise, her aim wasn't perfect but she managed to hit her attacker in the legs. However, they didn't take long to regain their balance and once more, their staff was aimed at her.

Hunk lunged forward, his bayard wasn't of any use right now and Hunk couldn't risk endangering Pidge's life by using it. Besides, using such a weapon in such an environment could be dangerous for all of them and Hunk didn't need an explosion to end the day.

Grasping one of the cables on the floor, Hunk pulled it just when Pidge was firing her bayard at the newcomer once more. Knocked out by Pidge's attack, their attacker fell back and tripped on Hunk's pulled cable. They fell with a loud thud on the floor. Hunk didn't waste any second and ran to grab their weapon that had rolled on the floor. He turned back to Pidge in an instant.

"Pidge, you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for the warning."

Hunk sighed, relieved that she wasn't hurt, before turning back to their attacker. His grip on his weapon tightened when their attacker moved on the floor. Hunk's eyes grew bigger when the figure turned back to them.

It was a man. A human. And even if he was buffier than her, he looked just like Pidge. Same hazelnut eyes and brunette hair.

Pidge gasped, frozen on spot. The stranger looked just as surprised as her.

"...Pidge?"

"Matt?!"

Pidge's bayard suddenly vanished in her hands and she rushed into the stranger's arm, tears pricking at her eyes. Hunk was flabbergasted. Was it really who he think it was? Matt Holt? Pidge's long-lost brother who had been on the same mission as Shiro and had disappeared long ago? Space would never cease to amaze him with its crazy coincidences.

"Oh my god," Pidge cried in her brother's arms. "Ever since the Kerberos mission they said you were dead, but I knew in my heart that you weren't!"

"I can't believe you found me," Matt cried as he cupped her sister's face. "It doesn't seem possible."

"The thought of you and dad kept me going, inspired me to do the impossible."

Hunk had never seen such a big smile on Pidge's face and he didn't need the mind link they shared when they formed Voltron to feel the happiness radiating from her. In front of her, Matt looked just as perplexed and happy as her.

"Okay but seriously how did you get this far into space?"

"It's a long story," Pidge smiled bashfully. "Is there any chance that you've heard of Voltron?"

"Voltron? Of course I've heard of Voltron."

"Well… ," she smirked, a nex glint in her eyes. "I'm one of the paladins"

"No. No… Seriously?! You're a paladin of Voltron?! That's so awesome!"

Hunk smiled at Matt's happiness and felt his heart swoon when he took Pidge in his arms and lifted her into the air. Pidge laughed. Hunk had never heard her laugh this way and he was happy that her friend had finally found a part of her back.

"Yes I am, and this is Hunk. He's the yellow paladin. We were at the Galaxy Garrison together and now we defeat the Galran Empire!"

"I've got the coolest little sister in the whole galaxy."

Pidge blushed as Matt ruffled her hair, a happy smile plastered on her face.

Matt turned back to Hunk, confusion battling with the excitement in his eyes.

"But- how?! How did you know I was here? I mean not like you expected to find me here in the first place but, how did you find this base?"

"It's on top of a hill, right outside a village, I wouldn't consider the huge sycamore-like-trees to be enough of camouflage material, Matt." Pidge pointed out.

Her brother remained silent and dubious.

"Right. A man we caught in town this morning told us it was here."

"A man? From town? This morning?"

It seemed they had suddenly sparked Matt's interest.

"Yup." Hunk answered as he came closer to Matt to give him back his weapon and mask.

"Suspicious looking? Brown hair? Cocky grin and pale blue eyes?"

"Um yes? I guess so?" Pidge answered as she looked in Hunk's direction, silently checking if he had more answers than she had. "I don't know, Shiro didn't really take the time to describe him to me but-"

Relief washed over Matt's face in an instant.

"Oh thank god you were the one to find him! Eurwyn always gets into troubles and even when he isn't looking for them, they follow his trail. He's a freaking magnet when it comes to them!"

"So you _do_ know him?" Hunk inquired. After all, it was their mission to confirm the man they had caught wasn't lying.

"He really doesn't lie then? You really are Rebel Fighters?" Pride shone in Pidge's eyes.

"And you're a paladin of Voltron," Matt softly added, shock lingering in his eyes. "And did I hear the name right? Did you really mention Shiro? Is he here too?"

Pidge chuckled and hugged her brother once more. "Yes. Come on, I'll show you the way to my Lion. We have a lot to catch up on."

Hunk confirmed to the other Paladins that they had accomplished their mission. The man, who turned out to be Pidge's long-lost brother, really was their prisoner's partner and the both of them were indeed Rebel Fighters.

On their way back to their lions, still hidden in the forest, Pidge didn't let go once of her brother's hand.

/

Eurwyn rolled his neck. This was starting to become uncomfortable, why couldn't prisoners be kept on a nice comfy sofa, huh? But as soon as they were going to realize he was on their side everything would be over. And then, if they had indeed found the shack and Matt hadn't been a bad host, then he should arrive soon too.

Eurwyn gulped. Matt was going to roast him. And maybe he was right when he said he was fucked up. How come he feared more a simple powerless human than the fireballs of a red fury? The crew hadn't held great thoughts in his regards either. But he guessed they had their good reasons too. He would have reacted the same if he had believed a stranger had her necklace.

Talking of the crew, only a few members remained in the room with him: Red Fury, Glass Girl, Clenched Fists, Sammy and Big Doggo. Eurwyn looked into the hound's red eyes. She had been staring at him for a while now, her head tilted on the side as if she was trying to understand something. He recalled the plushie the young Sammy had been holding in his arms when he had first met him. It hadn't done her any wrong and the huge black creature was definitely the hound Sammy had rambled about.

"So I take you're Merryn, huh?"

The hound barked in response but Eurwyn could still notice the suspicious glint in her red irises.

Protection. Family. Missing.

Those were the thoughts he could take away from the glimpse of colors he could feel in her mind. Reading people's minds was always a hard task but when it came to animals it had always been much easier for him. There were no lies, no hidden doors, no masks and most importantly no stupid complications.

The three adults turned their heads back to him when they heard the hound's name coming from his mouth. Judging by the surprised colors in their mind, they hadn't expected him to know her name. Red Fury's gaze slipped to Sammy who was now kneeling beside Merryn.

"So I take you can't stay fucking quiet, huh?" she sighed. "Damn it, Sammy, you're just as talkative as your mom."

An innocent smile spread across the young boy's lips.

Mom?! Eurwyn wondered who could possibly decide to raise a child in such environment. On a pirate ship that was involved with an intergalactic resistance network. Sammy was barely ten years old at most, who could possibly think it was a good idea? Besides, what was Sammy even doing here? Wasn't he supposed to live at the inn? No. He had seen Tori earlier. Maybe she had come back with him? In the small time he had seen Tori at the Dragon's Lair, Tori hadn't seemed to be such an irresponsible mother, surely there had been a good reason why Sammy hadn't remained with his siblings.

"Anyways," Red Fury spoke again, interrupting him in his own train of thoughts. "If you tell the truth and are indeed a Freedom Fighter, something the others have yet to confirm, what were you doing at the inn?"

Eurwyn kept himself from letting a loud sigh escaped his lips. Seriously, when was this red woman going to trust what he had said? Sometimes he wished more people had mind reading abilities, it made conversations easier and spared people such annoying moments.

Eurwyn had never been known for his patience but for once, if those people could turn out to be useful allies, he was going to make an effort. Besides, judging by what he had seen in Lucy's mind, those people were her friends and seemed to be her close circle. Therefore she must have had good reasons to trust them with her life. Not that he approved of the Red Fury at all. She was scary, despicable and she was partly responsible for Lucy getting captured in the first place.

"I was on a mission. We had heard rumors that _The Dragon's Lair_ had some ties with the Blade of Marmora and Sammy told us about you. Told us about the Scarlet Kaida, about Merryn, talked about Lucy Fair. It's a crazy life that she's lived until now… Building that crew from scratch, earning everyone's trust, she's your cornerstone isn't she? And now that she's gone, everything is falling apart. Pretty pathetic if you ask me."

Eurwyn felt the growl of his jailor's anger raising in their mind.

"I hope you have enough energy left after tearing each other apart to actually get your ass back on the real mission, because I don't think Lucy's going to be able to get herself out of this situation on her own this time."

Glass Girl flinched at his words.

"It's true that she's seen a lot already… She's traveled through other realities, fought horrors only a few in this galaxy have seen, invaded Zarkon's fortress twice and came out of it alive both times and she even escaped the Arena."

Red Fury's gaze turned to stone once more and Clenched Fist's grip tightened against the necklace chain but even if they didn't seem to like what he was saying, they didn't make any move to stop him.

The memories of what he had seen in Lucy's mind flashed before his eyes and fear started to spread in his system once more.

"But now she's with _him._ You let him get his filthy hands on her again."

Clenched Fist finally moved from his spot against the wall and came closer to him. The man hadn't said a word ever since he had come into the room and even when they had stepped outside earlier, Eurwyn hadn't heard his voice. He was starting to think the man was mute. His mind was a stormy weather, colors and emotions crashing in his mind like the waves during a tempest. But Eurwyn couldn't care less, his patience and kindness had run out and Lucy's screams in his mind were unbearable.

He could feel her pain once more, could feel her helplessness, could feel the claws of the Galra woman on her skin, could feel the control Lucy had on herself slip between her fingers. Lucy was running out of time, she wouldn't hold on for long. They were going to arrive too late. He wouldn't be able to save her.

Anger rose inside of him as he kept talking.

"Do you have any ideas of what he will do to her? What he's already done? At this rate, she will die before you even have any idea of where she is. How many times does she need to save you all before you decide it's your turn to do something for her?"

Clenched Fist grabbed the collar of his shirt and he felt the sting of the ropes against his wrist. Glass Girl jumped from her spot on the ground beside Sammy and stopped him from going further. Eurwyn hadn't expected her to be able to stop him, the man's irises shone with the same rage that he had seen in the Red Fury dark eyes a few hours ago.

When the girl talked, the quivers in her voice were hidden by the matter of fact tone she used. He could see the gears working behind her eyes. In that instant, she reminded him of Matt when he was trying to solve problems and figure out plans to get themselves out of shitty situations.

"The man on the videos when the attack happened, that was you wasn't it? You stood in the street like you were frozen and Lucy stopped too. She even screamed at you before the soldiers took her away once more."

"Why are you looking for Lucy?" Red Fury asked, standing right next to Glass Girl. Eurwyn had to admit he hadn't missed her cold tone and hard glare. "How do you _really_ know about her? What do you want with her? Why do you even care?"

"You're a mind reader too aren't you?" Glass Girl asked as her irises focused once more on the room, the problem solving itself in front of her eyes. "That day… You weren't affected by her powers. Only a fellow mind reader wouldn't be affected by her powers. She told me that once. But you entered her mind, didn't you? You… You saw behind the illusion and you saw her."

Eurwyn didn't need his abilities to analyze the dread that was showing on her features. She didn't like what she had just said. At all. And Eurwyn could guess she was begging whoever deities she believed in that all this wasn't true. That what she dreaded wasn't real. Because it would mean that her friend was in a far worse danger than she had allowed herself to imagine. And Eurwyn wasn't going to be the one to ease her thought.

"I am indeed what you call a Mind Reader," Eurwyn answered her. "Well… Not on the same scale as Lucy, I'm not as gifted as she is, but I do have mind abilities. And I did enter her mind that day. I was drawn toward it and I was almost trapped inside it. Your captain is in danger. More than you think. You have to believe me because just like you, I also happen to have your captain's best interest at heart."

"Why?"

"Because she's my sister." Eurwyn admitted as Lucy's screams of pain ringed in his head over and over again.

Red Fury's reaction was immediate.

"You're lying."

"I'm not. My name's Eurwyn Kyra, I come from Atlantis and your captain is my sister. She was captured by Lotor six years ago and we've been looking for her ever since."

"Liar. You're lying." Red Fury repeated almost stuttering as her mask crumbled with surprise. "Lucy doesn't have a brother. You're lying. She would have told us. She would have told _me_."

"Oh yeah? Just like you told her everything about you? I can't read minds as well as her but I saw it in hers. Why would it be such a strange behavior from her to hide such things from you? You're a monster. Everything you touch? Every people you stay with? They end up dead! Lucy's in that bloody cell partly because of you and I won't let her suffer the same fate your previous friends went through."

Lucy's thoughts hadn't been the only thing that had flooded his brain when he had been trapped in her mind. Her whole life had literally flashed before his own eyes. Without being able to control anything, he had seen everything. Every adventure. Every laughter shared. Every word exchanged. Every nightmare.

Because of her power, Lucy's nights weren't haunted by her own past only. Her crew's thoughts followed her even through her sleep and so did their bad dreams. Her Lieutenant's weren't any exception and Red Fury seemed to understand exactly what he had implied.

The woman stepped backward and before her crewmates were able to say anything to her, she exited the room. The door slammed behind her.

Eurwyn didn't care if his words had opened wide old wounds. He wouldn't allow more blood to be spilled in front of his sister's eyes. He had sworn so years ago and it was finally time for him to stay true to his word. Lucy had suffered enough already.

 _I won't let him hurt you… I'll get you back. Hang in there, Lucy._


	17. Silence is the scariest noise

There it is... This scene's first draft was written back in october and now it's out. I'm nervous but here you go. Enjoy the angst (i hope it is angsty enough because that's a really important part to the story so... yeah.)

Bird were chirping in the trees, the fresh morning breeze was brushing the grass, tickling her bare feet. She could hear the gurgling sound of the waterfall echoing from the heart of the forest, carried by the wind. Her feet were soaked with morning dew but she couldn't care less and walked deeper into the forest she knew by heart.

It was her safe place, her garden, and she felt as if she had grown with it, spending most of her days ever since she was a child running through its clearings, dashing through its leaves, climbing its branches. She had seen the shrubs grow stronger and taller and become magnificent trees, had watched as every year the flowers bloomed in a beautiful sea of colors.

And as much as she loved the forest, her brother did just as much, exploring every corner and following every trails of every wanderers who lived there. A butterfly? A lizard? A baby fox? Who had caught her little brother's attention this time? She smiled at the thought, imagining him hidden in the bushes, holding his breath as a squirrel passed by, right in front of him.

She felt his growing smile in her mind and called out for him once more.

"Eurwyn! Eurwyn! Where are you Little Knight? We need to get going if you want to see the magician!"

Today was her brother's birthday and like every year he had asked for one and only thing: for her to bring him to town and see the magician's show.

Just like her, Eurwyn was gifted with mind reading abilities, but whereas she could see people's mind clearly and even alter their reality, he was able to see people's minds and emotions. Whenever he focused on someone else's mind an ocean of vibrant colors came to his brain.

Their power and closed bond combined did great things together and allowed the both of them to discover more and more each day about their abilities. It was during one of their exploration that she had discovered another aspect of her power. As they had both reached the other side of the hill, she had imagined how fun it'd be to hurtle the slope on one of those huge toboggan she had seen in town. She'd been eight at the times but even after seven years the bright yellow toboggan could still be seen among the branches.

Her brother was still young and didn't have a full control on his abilities yet but she had no doubt his powers would get sharper with time and might prove as unexpectedly exciting as what she had found out about her own.

Eurwyn had always been a curious child, even more curious and adventurous than she was, and she had always found it endearing. But was there really anything about her little brother that she didn't find endearing? The answer was an obvious no. The young boy, with his blondie locks and deep blue eyes, was the apple of her eyes. She'd do anything for him. And she hadn't been able to resist his puppy eyes when he had learned that, once more, the magician was coming to town this year.

One day, their body covered with a warm blanket as they both watched the snow covering little by little the whole valley, she had asked him why he loved to see those shows over and over again, even though he knew them all by heart. Nuzzling his frozen nose down her neck, he had explained how colors in people's mind became even more vibrant when they watched the magician's show. More than the illusionist's tricks therefore, it was the public's reaction that he loved the most.

People would forget their daily worries and would enjoy that small moment of peace, allowing themselves to take a break for an hour or two. The grey colors faded from their brain, replaced by warmer ones, their mind shining in awe, sparkling with happiness.

 _Like fairy dust_ , he had added in a whisper that day, falling asleep in her arms, bright colors flooding behind his eyelids.

She was amazed by his powers and was happy his surroundings were always so colorful. Even if she could read his mind, she was unable to see them as clearly as when he explained them himself.

"Home is always full of colors," he had once told her. "Mommy's mind is a bright yellow as her mind is always full of new ideas and projects. She reminds me of the sun. Daddy's mind is mostly painted in shades of green and white as he's calmer than Mommy. He reminds me of the forest. Nanny's mind is blue because her mind is as soothing as the back and forth of the waves. She reminds me of the ocean."

He had paused after that, turning back to look at her, firelight reflecting in his pale eyes.

"Your mind, sis? It's like an explosion of colors. Always changing, always moving. Your imagination is always running wild with all the books you read. One day you're a knight, fighting the evil demons and saving the people in need, another one you're sailing on your pirate ship to another country; and the day after? You're either a bloody reaper or a fairy collecting the children's dreams. You are all the colors at once. You remind me of fireworks."

Warmth had spread in her chest that day as he had shared with her the beauty of his power, and the same happiness inhabited her today. She loved her brother from the bottom of her heart and was going to do her best so he would spend an unforgettable birthday.

"Eurwyn!" she called out once more, stopping nearby a century old oak in order to focus on his location. He was nearby. She could feel it. Where exactly, was yet to be figured out _. "You're going to miss the show, you know? We don't have time to play hide and seek today,"_ she said, using her power so he could hear her words.

 _"Admit it,"_ he replied back in her brain, _"you want to hurry because you don't want to miss your favorite author at Anna's shop."_

She laughed in response, feeling his proud smile in her mind. He wasn't far, probably a few trees away from her. He had always loved climbing in the trees by the river. _"Guilty. You, however, have become too clever for your own good."_ His smile shifted to a proud grin. _"Where are you anyway? We need to get going if you-"_

A high pitched shriek escaped her lips as Eurwyn suddenly appeared in front of her, hanging by his knees like a trapezist.

"You!" she boiled, pointing her trembling finger at him as she held her other hand to her chest, trying to calm down the erratic beating of her heart.

This time she was able to see with her own eyes and not only feel through her power the laughter that bursted out of him as he witnessed her poor attempt at being angry at him.

"You're proud of you, aren't you?" He giggled even more. "My heart is gonna stop one day if you keep doing that! Have you no shame to put your beloved sister through so much emotions?"

He laughed once more. "Mommy is right, you're such a drama queen."

"Come down there before the dragon's wrath falls upon you, shameless Little Knight."

She roared, painting a hoard of red dragons flying in his mind. He extended his hands and she caught him right away, securing her grip around his shoulders and waist. She nuzzled her face into his neck and he squirmed between her arms, laughing as she kept blowing her breath onto his skin.

"That tickles," he managed between two huffed breath. "Stop! You win! Let's go now!"

"Good. Settle down then. You don't want to miss the show, right?"

"No! Hurry, hurry Mrs Dragon!"

Without further ado he climbed on her back and clinged to her shoulders. She didn't waste anymore second and ran toward the other side of the forest.

When she reached their house again, she dashed toward the gate and imagined wheels under the soles of her boots. When she reached the slope, she rushed down the hill, faster than a lightning bolt. She dodged the nearby branches, shrieked when the young boy's hands suddenly made their way in front of her eyes and laughed when they crossed water puddles from the previous night's storm.

Eurwyn laughed the whole time, holding onto her shoulders. They had done it so many times that she knew the track by heart, and no rocks tricked her into falling.

Panting, they arrived just in time in front of the tent. Two hours later, the both of them were the last one to come out of it. Eurwyn's lips were parted into a big bright smile and stars shone in his eyes. She could only feel her own smile widen at the sight.

The townsquare emptied as the spectators hurried back to their occupations. But even if they were back to their chores and work, she could feel happiness lingering in all minds.

She shielded her eyes from the sun and took her brother's hand. Them too, had things to do and one of them was to pick groceries for his birthday dinner. The marketplace was only a few streets away from the magician's tent. It took them barely five minutes to reach its less crowded alleys.

She let go of Eurwyn's hand and turned to the smiling merchant. She didn't need much, her mother already had most of the ingredients, directly from their garden or the forest. She picked another bag of wheat flour for tonight's cake and bought the slices of pineapple her mother had asked for, as well as a handful of cherries. Eurwyn's favorites.

The young boy stood a few feet away, staring at a shop's window, enthralled by everything he was seeing. Knowing him, she guessed another plushie in Utina's shop had caught his eyes. She wondered if the one she had gotten him, helped by Anna's wise choosing skills, was going to please him. It was a bird, the same colors of his eyes - small enough to be easily carried around with him, something that couldn't be said for the teddy bear he usually brought along in the forest. Their father was tired to patch him up every time they came back from their adventures.

Her smile vanished from her lips as soon as she looked back at the merchant's face. She'd been lost in her thoughts and now the man's face was livid, his fingers tightly gripped on the wooden crate before him.

Silence had fallen on the marketplace and everyone stood there, frozen as a Galra unit appeared at the corner of the street, keeping in step. She didn't recognise the insignias on their uniforms. She could feel everyone's dread inside her mind. What were they doing here at this time of the day? She felt a shiver ran down her spine at the sight of their weapon dangling by their waist. What did they want?

Her interrogations were cut short when she heard a whimper escaped her brother's lips. She whipped her head around, looking for him. He had stepped away from Utina's shop and stood in the middle of the street, his eyes locked with one of the soldier.

Her mouth went dry as she realized what had happened.

Eurwyn stepped back, chin trembling with tears.

She abandoned her bags on the stand and pushed through the crowd of people. If there was one thing children were taught on Atlantis, it was to never let someone know your ability. It was something personal, your most precious gift and only your family and closest friends should know about it. Especially during the war. It was the number one rule. No one, especially Galra soldiers, should know about your capacities. They were always too eager to turn Atlantean abilities into weapons.

And Eurwyn knew about that safety rule. He knew about it yet he'd been careless today, his attention fleeting to the joy of everyone, wanting to feel their happiness. He hadn't sense the change of thoughts until it'd been too late. Until he'd felt the horror inside the soldier's head, the blackness of his heart.

Another whimper escaped Eurwyn's lips as the soldier scrutinized his face once more, coming closer to him.

 _Eurwyn you need to run! Now!_ she shouted inside his head, trying to keep her own panic at bay.

He stepped backward once more and darted in the street next to him.

Three of the soldiers followed after him.

The frightened crowd fled in the opposite direction, pushing against her. She pushed back against it, desperately rushing after her brother. She needed to reach him first - needed to find him before the soldiers did.

She took another turn and ran faster.

The cobbled streets were a real labyrinth to foreigners but she was born in this town, she knew those streets by heart. She wasn't scared of getting lost but of losing sight of her little brother's location. She could still feel his mind, feel his fear inside her own brain. If she didn't catch up soon, she was going to lose track of him.

She froze mid-step as she turned left.

She was too late.

They had already caught up with him.

Her brother was on the floor, prostrated in one corner, fear overwhelming his every thought as the three soldiers towered above him. A sharp cry escaped his lips when one of them grabbed him by the wrist. His legs dangled in the air like a liveless muppet.

Eurwyn was sobbing, calling out for her.

Blood stained his bare knees.

"Let go!" she begged out of breath. "Let go of my brother!"

The three soldiers turned back, snickering as they saw her. What a threat could she be to three fully trained soldiers? She was but a teenager, she couldn't do anything, was too frightened to do anything. Yet, the cries of her younger brother convinced her otherwise. She needed to try something, _anything_. She couldn't give up on him, it was her duty to protect him.

"Your brother, huh?"

The soldier's grip tightened around Eurwyn's wrist. Her guts twisted when she felt her brother's pain. He was afraid, more afraid than he had ever been in his life as he kept calling out for her.

Usually, she would have gone for the soldiers' minds, would have persuaded them that the boy was still with them, would sneak behind them and get her brother back. She could still theoretically do that. They didn't know she shared her brother's power; didn't know she could control minds at some extent. Her illusions would work.

But she couldn't muster her energy to do that. Her power was paralyzed by her brother's fear, by her own. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't think of anything else than the tears in his eyes and his screams of pain as the soldier's nails digged in his skin.

She felt powerless.

"Let go of him," she cried. "He did nothing wrong!"

A cold laughter escaped the soldier's lips.

He was taller than his comrades and she could tell from the look he gave them both that he was their leader. He flashed her a smile full of teeth and the two other sentries walked toward her.

She stepped back, shifting on her feet. What a fool she'd been to refuse her uncle's offer to teach her some self defence moves. Her thought were colliding each other and she had to remind herself to breathe. She closed her eyes for a second, willing her panic to leave her mind.

She felt something cold on her ankle. The chilly bite of the blade against her skin brought back some sense to her spirit. Her knife! She mostly used it to cut fruits and clear the path in the forest to reach the luscious berries that hid among the stinging nettles, but her uncle had given it to her last year. She carried it all around with her, just as he had told her to do.

With it, maybe she had a chance. At least she wasn't unarmed anymore.

Her eyes flashed once more toward Eurwyn, now whimpering on the ground and tucked in a ball, trying to protect his body from harm, bruises already blossoming on his smooth skin.

The two soldiers were in reach now, a grin splitting both their face.

Anger boiled inside her veins, replacing the fear that had paralysed her until now.

 _"Kaida..."_

How dare they hurt him?

 _"It's gonna be alright Little Knight, your dragon sis is here."_

 _"Kaida... I'm scared, Kaida."_ he whimpered in her mind. She could feel his pain and his terror crawling out of him. He was terrified. She needed to find a way to help him out.

With the nickname, a memory came to her mind. Him and her, sitting in the dining room with all his colored pen sprawled on and off the table.

 _"_ ** _What are you doing_** _?" she had asked._

 _"_ ** _The cover of your book_** _," he'd answered proudly._

 _"_ ** _My book_** _?"_

Eurwyn cried out in pain.

 _"_ ** _Yeah!_** _" He had paused, handing the paper to her. "_ ** _There's Kaida the dragon, and there's me in the knight armor and we're gonna slay the purple demon! We're best buddies!_** _"_

She lunged forward, her fortune dagger in hand.

 _She had laughed fondly and he had added in a proud smile,_ " **_I even found your author name ! Because every good author has one. Everyone will call you Fair. Lucy Fair!_** "

She tightened her grip around the handle of her blade. A strange and familiar weight in her palm.

 _"_ ** _Lucy Fair? I like that! I'm fair and kind but beware for the devil's wrath lurks underneath if you dare hurt my little knight, right?_** _"_

 _"_ ** _Yay!_** _" he had laughed under her tickle attack, looping his arms around her neck in a tight hug._

The memories flashing in her head nurtured her hatred and anger.

Her hand steadied.

 _"Close your eyes, Eurwyn."_ she stated in his mind.

The bloody sound her dagger made when meeting the surprised Galra's chest made her want to throw up. She ignored it. Her brother's well being was the only thing that mattered.

She lunged once more, her eyes cold and her mind clear.

She kept fighting, using her illusions at first to escape the soldier's attack. But he wasn't alone and she wasn't a trained soldier like they were. Soon enough the soldier who was still keeping Eurwyn on the floor understood what she was doing and warned his partner.

The Galra blinked and swung his left fist in her direction. The illusion had crumbled in his brain.

She jumped back, trying to avoid his punch - but he hit her anyway. Numbing pain suddenly spread in her jaw. Blood spilled from her nose. She slipped on the pavement, still wet from the night storm, and stumbled, losing her balance.

The man grabbed her by the hair and she cried out from the bursting pain in her skull. It rang like thousands of bells in her head. Another clenched fist landed on her waist and she dropped to the floor - breath was knocked out of her lungs.

When she looked up, it was only to see new soldiers arriving from another street. One of them suddenly caught her and twisted her arms behind her back, keeping her from moving. The pain was unbearable. But what was even more painful to her heart was to be forced to watch her brother being beaten up again and again, only a few feet away from her.

Tears streamed down her cheeks. If only she could just escape the man's grip.

She couldn't bear it anymore. She'd been useless. She hadn't been able to protect him. And she could feel his pain and his tears in each and every of her nerves.

"Stop! Stop!"

She squirmed in the soldier's arms and he pushed her to the ground in response, his knee crushing her spine, gripping her hair so she'd keep watching. Her jaw hurt with every of her cries.

"This is what happens when you disobey the Empire's authority," he snarled.

"Stop it! Please, I'm begging you! I'll turn myself in, please ! I'll do whatever you want but stop!"

They didn't.

She'd done her best. But it was not enough.

They had gotten him.

He was too young. He had not been able to run fast enough.

If only she'd been there a few seconds earlier. She could have hidden him, cloaked him under an invisible illusion. She could have protected him. He wouldn't have been hurt.

If only she'd been able to run faster. She'd been useless and now he was being beaten up by the soldiers.

Like everyone else.

Like every criminal caught by the Galra soldiers.

But he wasn't a criminal. He was her little brother. He had done nothing wrong. He was innocent and happy. He had only wanted to see the colors…

One more blow landed on him. He was too far for her to act on it, too close for her to escape his screams of pain. His whimpers. His desperate calls.

The bond wavered in her mind.

And suddenly, it was silent.

His head had crashed on a rock.

Her blood seemed to freeze in her veins as silence hit her ears.

" _EURWYN!_ "

She felt the empty place in her brain right away, the void where his train of thoughts once was.

"EURWYN! NO!"

She couldn't hear his thoughts anymore. Couldn't feel the colors in his mind, the dragon roars, the chirping of the birds or he sound of his boots splashing in the puddles as he followed after swans and ducks. Couldn't see anymore the fireworks that her thoughts were in his head when she was near him. Couldn't see his imagination always blooming in a never ending flow.

It was as if someone had blown a candle.

Another scream tore her throat. Her brother's name bounced in her head. She needed to get to him. She needed to check on him.

She needed to escape.

She grunted and fought back against the man's grip. He was still keeping her to the ground but he had one of his hand near her head. She sank her teeth into his hand. He suddenly recoiled from the pain and, not caring anymore about the pain in her body, she knocked her head back, aiming for the stranger's chin. He let go of her and she stumbled forward, running to her brother.

A shadow appeared in the corner of her eyes and she was knocked out cold.

The last things she saw before drifting away were the long white hair of the officer, his pale purple skin and his unusual pointy ears.

Darkness surrounded her.

The deafening silence in her mind was haunting her. She felt as if she was drowning.

It was overwhelming, and just as unbearable as the guilt she felt inside her heart.

 _She had left him._

She could still recall his blood, black as the night, slithering between the cobblestones.

 _She had abandoned him._

She had left him in the street like a stray animal, without a proper burial, without anyone to say the farewell prayer to him.

 _He had died alone._

 _Her little brother was dead._

She felt as if a needle was piercing through her heart.

He was dead and the last thing he had felt wasn't the kiss of a loved one on his forehead but a boot shoved in his face over and over again. The last thing he had heard wasn't the farewell words of his loved ones, but his screams of pain and her agony. The last color he had seen wasn't the bright warm light of his mother's mind, the reassuring green of his father's nor the soothing blue of his nurse's, but the overflooding black of the Galra's conquering his own.

Fear, blood and violence had been the ones to lull him to sleep.

She felt guilty. Dirty. Her throat felt like ashes.

She wept until she fell asleep.

Silence was the scariest noise.

Pain woke her up. She thanked her Atlantean heritage for most of her wounds had already healed - but her chest and arm were still painful to the touch. She knew she probably had a broken rib or two.

She felt the sting of the handcuff on her wounded wrists when she tried to lift herself up.

The new place reeked of piss and dried blood. Bile rose in her throat.

She couldn't see her own hands. She couldn't see anything, the place was darker than the forest at night. However, she didn't need her eyes to know where she was. The strangers' minds in the area spoke for themselves. She understood where she was with a simple glimpse into their minds. They were so many of them, so many people, so many nightmarish thoughts and memories. Her head was spinning from the smell in her cell and the hundreds of minds tugging at her own mind. She wasn't used to be surrounded by so many people and to feel such despair and such terror into the mind she traveled to.

There was no mistake possible. She had heard the threats and stories many times already. They were like tales told to the children, propaganda feed to the brains ever since their younger ages, so they'd behave. So they'd fear the Empire and wouldn't dare fight against it. So they'd fear the consequences of such choices. Criminals, enemies to the Empire,... They all ended up here.

She was in the Arena.

She didn't even tremble at the thought. There was no injustice to fight against.

She had killed her brother.

She deserved to be there.

/

Axca wandered her eyes over Narti's notes and looked back at the scientist.

"Still no change, huh?"

Kova's tail wrapped itself around Narti's neck. The scientist shook her head.

Just like Ezor, Zethrid and herself, Narti was only half Galra. But even though she was a woman, hybrid, mute and blind, Lotor had still managed to recognize in her the great talents she possessed.

Narti was not only useful on the battlefield: her mind power turned out to be really useful in time of war, and she was a very talented scientist as well. No wonder Lotor had kept her by his side for so long.

But today, Narti was unable to explain what was going on with their prisoner.

Ever since the fourth unit had come back from Haumea, she'd been sitting, prostrated in one corner, muttering words even the microphones couldn't quite catch. When she wasn't, she would stand up all of a sudden, tears still gleaming on her cheeks and would scribble gibberish words on the walls.

They had already given up trying to make sense of what she was writing. It didn't make any sense. It didn't correspond to any languages in any of the realms and looked more like drawings made by a toddler rather than actual words.

Axca looked through the one-way glass once more. In the other room, Lucy Fair's shivering silhouette could be seen in the left corner. For safety measures, in case she'd find the way to strangle herself with her braid, Narti had cut it short. Her dirty hair fell messily and unevenly in front of her eyes, not helping at all the image she portrayed.

Lucy Fair was going insane. It was all Axca could understand from her attitude. There wasn't anything else to conclude. Narti had, after all, warned them of the potential outcome. The stone they used to control her powers, the exposure she had had to those unbearable ultrasound so she wouldn't be able to focus on her thoughts anymore, the nightmares they had forced her to see over and over again, the destruction of her homeplanet… The woman had handled more than Axca had first expected her to.

Without mentioning the fact that, now that they were able to control her powers, she had been pushed far away from her limits already. There were things healing pods couldn't repair and maybe this time on Haumea had been the one time too many. Maybe all the researches they had made on Atlantean powers hadn't been enough, maybe they had triggered something in her, maybe they had underestimated the impact of her power on her physical and mental health.

"Do you have any idea of how long she's gonna stay in such a state?"

Once more, Narti shook her head.

Axca grunted. She couldn't die on them. Not now. They still needed her ability. Only she could create such powerful and useful illusions. It was more efficient than any propaganda Zarkon had ever used and, as they hadn't find a way to recreate her powers artificially, they needed her alive. She _couldn't_ die.

But until they found what had triggered it, they couldn't heal her. The only thing they knew was that she was stuck in a painful memory. One they had no control on. It was the only thing Narti had been able to see before Lucy's mind had shut her out. She hadn't tried again, fearing to break things further.

"Still nothing to be done with that memory either, I suppose?"

Axca didn't even bother looking at Narti, she knew the answer already. Nothing could be done. Everything they had tried until now had failed. But what was she supposed to report to their leader? She couldn't possibly tell him that they couldn't carry on with his plan anymore, could she? She had to find some good news to tell him because the news she had so far, or rather the lack of it, weren't going to please him.

Lotor wasn't known for his outburst like Zarkon had been, but Lucy, even in her useless state, had that one ability to make him lose his temper. The fact that she was out of their control now, wasn't probably going to help the situation.

"We must change our method." a voice called from behind them.

Axca turned back to see Lotor by the threshold. Narti didn't look surprised by his sudden arrival and had probably heard him from afar. Narti's hearing was better than anyone Axca had ever met.

"We must lock her up somewhere else," Lotor added. "If she's indeed stuck in one of her painful nightmares then we must work the other way around. Try something we haven't done yet."

Axca wasn't sure to understand what Lotor was suggesting. They had been trying to get her out of her condition and it seemed as if they had already tried everything.

"Ever since our special guest has been with us, we kept pushing her further, draining her of her energy so she wouldn't fight back anymore. But she still does. Even in her current state, I'm sure the thing she tried to write on those walls is her trying to remain in control. We need to bring peace back to her mind."

"What?"

Axca was bewildered. For weeks, they had done their best to break her mind so she'd be the perfect puppet and now he wanted to put her at peace? Did he wanted to give her hugs and tuck her to bed, too? Axca was lost.

"You see, Axca, until now we kept her conscience locked in a far away corner of her mind. But somehow, as everything is falling apart inside her mind, it was set free. However, it's wild and uncontrolled. We need to keep it at bay one more time."

"I'm still not getting how we'll manage to do that. None of the things we tried worked."

Axca looked at Narti. Her head tilted; the scientist seemed to be once more deep in her thoughts. Kova remained still on her shoulders.

"In the past we used violence and shocking images. We made her watch when her planet was destroyed, made her watch when _she_ inflicted all those illusions onto those people. Because we knew it was the only way for her to do the job. But now that she locked herself on her own in such a painful memory, it shows that it won't work anymore. We need to lock her up somewhere she won't want to escape. A place she'll want to protect at all cost."

"So instead of hurting herself she'll hurt anyone standing in front of her."

"Exactly. Her own power backlashed on her. She's victim of her own illusions. We only have to enter her mind once, lead her conscience into another memory loop, a more peaceful one, one she won't want to leave, one she treasures. She won't pay attention to us anymore and while her attention is focused on those brighter memories we haven't stolen from her yet, we'll keep using her as our own puppet."

"We'll still be able to control her power?"

"Of course," Lotor smirked/ "We've been doing so without her consent for nearly two weeks now. And even if it doesn't seem much to you Axca, our little guest over there has no idea how long has passed since she's been taken from her friends. By now she knows we've been using her, using her power. She probably knows that she's losing it, which only accelerates the process, and all of this is emphasised by the fact that for her, months may have passed already. She's losing faith."

"Which works for us."

"Exactly. To be honest I expected her to break much sooner. She's much stronger than I had imagined. But it couldn't be better. Because her beloved crew won't give up on her anytime soon, we've seen how stubborn they can be, those past few years."

"Should we send units to destroy them permanently?"

"No need. When they'll find us, and they will, Lucy will do the work for us."

"She would never hurt them."

"Oh she will. Anything to protect her perfect little world, remember?"

Axca was bewildered. She couldn't believe that he had thought through it already. He had everything planned and seemed to have dozens of other plans ready if the previous ones didn't turn out so perfect.

The door creaked on the other side and Axca watched as Narti and four of her assistants stepped into the room. Their presence seemed almost unnecessary as the once proud and fierce captain was as threatening as a scared little puppy. It only took half a syringe to immobilise her.

The blue stones around the five scientists' necks gleamed as soon as Narti put her hands on the woman's head.

The effect was immediate.

Lucy's features stilled and relaxed. She opened her clenched fists and Axca saw, even from where she stood, the glimpse of a smile on her lips.

As soon as Narti turned back in their direction, she knew it had worked.

Lucy was once more under control.

Lotor's plan had worked once again.

...so? how was it?  
enjoyed learning more about Lucy?  
Fun fact: Eurwyn was born in that scene. like i said, i wrote that scene a very long time ago back when chapter 2 wasn't out yet. and when i had the scene idea back in october i was driving to my great aunt's place and i couldn't help myself from writing it (i remember my typo "boys were chirping in the trees" and i can't help but laugh when i see that sentence now lmao) and eurwyn? borned because i thought 'hey let's give Lucy a brother so he's killed by the galra and she ends up in the arena and she's really huert and scarred and all' and so i did.

Now think of the fact that eurwyn is 10 in those flashbacks. And that Sammy is 9 (and reaching its 10) in present time. WHAT DO U MEAN I REALISED I COULD MAKE SAMMY AN EVERY DAY REMINDER OF EURWYN AND THAT LUCY RESCUED THAT LIL BABY AND PROTECTED HIM WITH HER SOUL AFTER THE ARENA BECAUSE SHE COULDN4T STAND LOSING ANOTHER PERSON AGAIN AND NOT DOING ANYTHING IN HER POWER TO PROTECT AND SAVE THEM? *insert devil emoji here*

seriously sammy was born because of deandra's death and how i had mentionned the children's bay and the fact that deandra took care of them but there were no children at her funeral. there came sammy, a nameless boy crying in the kitchen. who then needed a name because i wanted him to give a speech at her funeral. and then grew even more important in the story because that orphan boy STOLE MY HEART OKAY

Well it's the same with eurwyn. and i mean, look i bring him back to life :) decided not to kill him. just to make Lucy believe it and blame herself for his death instead. and now eurwyn is on scarlet kaida (oh yes kaida was his nickname for his sis when he was a child. it means 'little dragon' in japanese. maybe it was her parents calling her that way and it stick in the fam but just wanted to make that clear - if someone actually read those end notes), the place he's always wanted to reach and find. and his sister is not there. but she's captured. again. hmmm wonder how that feels

I hope this lotor part wasn't too confusing for you, and you have ANY feedbacks on that chap please do tell in the comments because it's a REAL important chap to both me and the plot and the understanding of lucy's character ( imean you kinda learn why she hates silence so much in that chap, right? learn about her past? how she came in the arena? and who put her here in the first place. didn't get it yet? that officer who came in the street was lotor. didn't start well for the two right?)

anyways, hope you'll keep following the sotry after this chap. (i can't help but thinking of the harry potter GIF with Ron telling Harry that he's gonna suffer but he's gonna like this. because that's exactly how i hope SK feels to you : i love you too)

I'll stop rambling now and go back hiding under my rock, waiting for your thoughts.

BIG THANK YOU TO MY BEST GIRL AND IRL LILI JELLO, BECAUSE JIJII HAD TO GO THROUGH ALL MY WHINING AND MY SELF DEPRECIATING COMMENTS AND THOUGHTS (or so she calls them) AND SK WOULDNT BE BORN OR WOULDNT HAVE SURVIVE THIS FAR UNTIL NOW SO THANK YOU BB I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE THE BEST


	18. New allies

Matt couldn't believe what was happening. Not only was he still standing in the cockpit of the Green Lion, a lion of freaking _Voltron_ , but his little sister, _his_ Katie, had also been the one to pilot it! His little sister, the one he had seen grow, the one he had given the bottle to, the one he had comforted when she felt down, the one he had taught codes and math to, was now one of the five paladins of Voltron.

Matt was amazed.

Pidge had grown so much since the last time he had seen her. She had traveled so far into space in order to find him and their father and had been through so much, had defeated so many enemies with her team, had brought peace to countless people and was responsible for bringing back hope to them. Matt was really proud of his little sister.

He smiled fondly at her and grabbed her hand as she showed him the way out. The lion's head laid down and stairs appeared for them to climb down. Pidge removed her helmet and Matt smiled once again. Sitting on the bridge of her nose, hiding her small freckles from sight, were the glasses he had given her before his departure.

"You've kept the glasses?"

"Of course I did," she confirmed with a smile.

Matt didn't have time to think more about the adorableness of his little sister whom he was super proud of before small chirping sounds came to his ears. Pidge turned back just in time to welcome four mice into her hands.

Mice.

Great.

Matt was going to scream. Why? What had he done to the world for it to hate him so much? What made it think that he deserved such torture? They were so far in space and yet such common animals existed there too. He could gladly defeat all the Galra destiny would put in his way but standing one more minute in the vicinity of those terrifying creatures was just too much to ask.

"Still afraid of mice even after all the things you've been through?"

Matt whipped his head around as he recognized the voice of his ancient partner.

"Shiro!"

The man who stood in front of him was very different from the Shiro he knew. His eyes didn't shine with the same curiosity as before, a tuft of white hair was falling in front of his eyes and, most importantly, his left arm had been replaced with a prosthetic one. Matt hadn't seen Shiro since that day back at the Arena where he had stepped in front of him and saved his life. He felt a rush of guilt mixed with relief flood in his chest.

Shiro was alive. Shiro was a paladin. And if Matt hadn't been such a coward, he would still have his arm and the scar across his face wouldn't exist…

Shiro didn't let him dwell on his guilty thoughts, however, and made his way toward him, crushing him in a hug. Matt had been so afraid he'd never be able to see him again. He had often woken up at night, drenched in sweat as the vision of his nightmares still lingered behind his eyes. The tales he had heard from the horror of the arena filled his everyday thoughts and came back haunting him at night. But the stories about the Champion had suddenly stopped one day, and Matt had only expected the worst from it.

"I'm so glad to see you, Matt!" Shiro exclaimed, grasping Matt's shoulders as he used to do back at the Garrison. Such times seemed so far away now. So much had happened that it felt suddenly weird to have all those memories rushing back in his brain. The dorms, his comrades, the training area, the instructors… Matt almost grimaced at the memory. He had definitely not missed Iverson.

"Same here, Shiro. I would have never expected to be able to see you again and now I find out that Pidge is in space and that she's a paladin of Voltron and that you are too and that's so awesome!"

"I know right? Pretty crazy. A collection of unexpected events and coincidences."

"Coincidence? I think not." Matt joked, imitating his father.

Shiro laughed. "You're right. But how did you even get here in the first place?"

"Oh that's a long story and I'm sure yours is just as long."

"Indeed."

"Like I said," Pidge added looping her arms around Matt's as she smiled at Shiro. "We've got a lot to catch up on!"

"We sure do," Shiro agreed. "Now, let's go upstairs. As much as I love the hangar of this vessel, we'll be better in the main room. Besides, the others are waiting for us as well."

Matt let Pidge show him the way as both Shiro and Hunk followed after them. For what Matt had witnessed, Hunk seemed to be a great person and his bright personality shone through him. Matt was excited to meet the other paladins and hear their story.

His heart was pulsing with excitement. He couldn't begin to imagine how their fight against the Empire would grow even more efficient if they were to combine their force. With the intel the Rebels had, their spy facilities and bases all across the galaxy, it could only lead to good news for them all.

Matt gasped as the four of them finally reached the final corner. He hadn't expected to find such a bright and welcoming room inside such a ship. The Scarlet Kaida was supposed to be a pirate vessel and he had heard countless stories about it, relayed by the different soldiers and citizens they had met but he would never have expected it to be so… welcoming. Matt was pleasantly surprised.

"We had the same impression at first too," a woman with long white hair assured him. She was sitting at a table a few feet away from them and rose as they walked into the room. The four mice Pidge had been holding had run toward her and she was now petting one of them. A shudder ran once more through Matt's spine at their sight. How could she handle such a presence?

Pidge grinned, noticing his disarray, but didn't say anything and instead turned her attention back to the group.

"Matt, I'd like to introduce you to Allura, Princess of Altea. She's the one who pilots the Castle of the Lions with the help of her advisor Coran." The red haired man who stood beside the Altean Princess beamed and proudly combed his mustache. Matt decided he already liked the man and listened as Pidge kept going.

"Then there's Hunk, whom you already know, who pilots the Yellow Lion. Lance who pilots the Blue one and Keith pilots Red. Shiro is our Black Paladin."

Matt was baffled, aside from Shiro, the four of them could have only been cadets back at the Garrison. Once again, this raging war had drawn the youngest into its nets. When was it all going to stop? When would new enemies stop popping out of nowhere like the devil outside the box? When was his life going to go back to normal? Matt just wanted to end this war, go back to Earth and bring Eurwyn to Disneyland. Was it too much to ask?

He had never finished a To Do List in his whole life, but for once he had the determination not to let this one go to the trash. There was one cool thing about Disney purchasing franchises such as Star Wars and Marvel: thanks to this, you could totally end up taking a selfie with Darth Vader, Iron Man and Pocahontas without much of a problem. This had become doable in their crazy universe and that was one of the many good reasons Matt had to fight for it. There was no way Eurwyn was going to die before he met Tony Stark. Not happening.

Talking of Eurwyn, there he was, coming out of a room with a bowl in his hand, clutching an empty spoon between his teeth and watching his steps as he listened to what a woman with bright blue hair was telling him. Matt let a relieved sigh escaped his lips as he saw him, Eurwyn seemed fine and the focused look in his eyes indicated that nothing was wrong with him. Nothing visible at least. And, besides, Matt had learned from all the time he spent with them that if a Kyra was eating then nothing could be seriously wrong with them.

Good.

Matt crossed his arms over his chest and stopped in front of the table Eurwyn was heading for. If nothing was wrong with him then he'd be ready to hear him out.

"Eurwyn Kyra."

Matt hadn't even raised his voice that much but Eurwyn gulped anyway. After all this time he knew how to recognize when Matt's tone meant trouble - even as calm as it sounded.

 _If only that trouble radar of his work just as well on the battlefield_ , Matt cursed. He had never met a person with such self-preservation skills. Matt wouldn't say Eurwyn was reckless, but he was always heading first into battle, and even now, Eurwyn was facing him with his bright signature smile.

"Hi, Matt!"

Eurwyn turned his look back to the others as if to say, 'see? I was right.' Matt didn't know what he was trying to prove to the others but he suspected it was probably related to the discussion he must have had with the crew. Judging by what Pidge and Hunk had been able to tell him, Shiro and the others had come across him this morning while they were looking for their missing Lieutenant and, not knowing what to do with his unconscious body, they had decided to bring him back with them.

"You little brat," Matt started pointing at Eurwyn as he walked toward him, his feet stomping against the wooden floor. "How the hell did you manage to get in such troubles in barely one hour?! You only had to go to Zarifa's and make one call!" Eurwyn scratched the back of his head nervously as Matt went on, pressing his finger against Eurwyn's chest with every word. "One freaking call!"

"And I did!" Eurwyn defended himself, trying to look as casual as possible, "I made my report and called Natsilane, but when I was on my way back, just at the entrance of the marketplace this, this fury attacked me for no reason! Next thing I know I was in some cellar, tied up to a chair."

Matt kept staring at Eurwyn as he explained himself, seeing in the corner of his eyes the glimpse of the young woman Eurwyn was pointing at. For what he could see, she was wearing a long red cape and her crewmates seemed to be just as hungry for answers as he was.

"Right."

"It's true."

Matt felt the sense of déjà vu conquering his thoughts. He didn't count anymore the number of times Eurwyn had found himself in hazardous situations. He had always come back unscathed and they had always managed to get away, but Matt couldn't help thinking of the day they wouldn't. This morning's events could have gone wrong in so many ways.

What if they hadn't been on their sides of the war? What if it had been rogues working for the Empire? Matt recalled Eurwyn's words. If Red Girl had indeed been the one to attack him then maybe their good intentions were yet to prove. He couldn't trust them right away. Even if they were allies of the Blade, even if Voltron worked with them, even if Eurwyn's sister was their captain.

What if she had changed during the time she'd been gone? Eurwyn had been a child when she was taken away from him, surely she wasn't the innocent teenager she had been before. Afterall she had been the one to lead the attack on Hi'iaka. What if she worked for the Empire? Even in his short time working with the Rebels, Matt had seen many times situations where people didn't turn out to be the person they were pretending to be. They needed to be cautious.

Matt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Now wasn't the time to let himself be overwhelmed by worry. Eurwyn was fine, they had found Lucy's crew and he had even found Pidge. It was all that mattered for now. He lifted his eyes toward Eurwyn and grinned.

"How long do you plan on keeping being such a magnet to trouble?"

"It's not my fault if they always come and find me even when I'm not looking for them," he pouted.

"I can't leave you alone for two freaking seconds."

"Then don't," Eurwyn winked.

Matt scoffed and put his forehead against Eurwyn's. "Don't you dare scare me like that ever again."

"I'll try my best," Eurwyn replied softly, the ghost of his smile still lingered in his voice.

"You better," Matt replied before he kissed his lips. "We have to be cautious, Eurwyn, especially after the recent attacks. I was about to call the others to warn them that you had been away longer than expected when Pidge and Hunk broke into the shack. I thought they were Galra spies coming to finish the job."

"And turns out it's the Scarlet Kaida! And Voltron!"

"So I've heard. Crazy coincidence that, for once, means good news for us."

"Yeah…" Eurwyn whispered as he detached his gaze to take in the sight. Matt looked into his eyes and wondered if the vessel resembled the one Eurwyn had imagined in his dreams, longing to find this place for all those years. Confused feelings twirled in his icy eyes as if the excitement to finally be standing there was battling with the sadness that the one he was looking for didn't stand before him.

Matt squeezed Eurwyn's hand and he blinked, shoving away the tears that had started to gather at the corner of his eyes.

"We'll get her back, Eurwyn." Matt whispered, "Don't worry. You'll see her again."

"You're right." Matt didn't point out Eurwyn's hoarse tone and turned back to the others. He hadn't really paid much attention to them, occupied with his conversation with Eurwyn and was confused by the shocked and surprised look on their face. Pidge blinked as if she was having a hard time processing something.

And then it hit him. Matt played in his head over again the conversation he just had with Eurwyn, their locked fingers and the kiss they had exchanged. Matt had been so focused on his thoughts that he had forgotten their audience and the fact that he had probably forgotten to tell them that Eurwyn and he were together.

Pidge blinked once more before a warm smile spread across her lips.

"You're right, Matt, we've got a lot to catch up on."

Her big smile lingered on her lips as she took her brother by the arm and dragged him to the table where Jijii and the others were seated. Ash, Eurwyn and the other paladins followed after them.

When all of them were at the table, questions, stories, and other anecdotes flew into the air. Matt was happy he was able to catch up with his sister and best friend and couldn't believe all the crazy adventures they had shared together.

Shiro and Pidge were just as happy to learn about his own adventures and how the rebel fighters had freed him and a bunch of other prisoners of the Galra prisoners. Tears welled in the corner of Pidge's eyes when she learned that their father was okay.

"He went back on Earth thanks to one of the rebel spaceships. Someone needed to warn them what a danger the Galra are."

"It'll take someone as intelligent and stubborn as Sam Holt to convince heartless robots that are those men back there. Especially that stone of a man, Iverson."

"Yeah," Matt scoffed. "But I'm sure he'll manage. For now, we must keep fighting until the war is over. If the war stops, no need for the 'Let's convince Iverson' mission."

"Now Matt," Pidge started, a new mischief glint in her eyes. Matt hadn't seen it ages. "Why don't you start talking about the real matter at heart."

"The war against the Galra isn't?"

"I'd say my brother being a rebel fighter and finally finding a boyfriend is one hell of a matter I want to discuss with you."

"And spare us the gross details, will you," Shiro teased in a smile, "I don't want to hear about the part with your stupid date ideas or how you embarrass yourself in public."

"Are you kidding me?!" Pidge exclaimed, turning to Shiro with an outraged wince on her face, "That's, like, the best part!"

"First of all," Matt started, "how dare you? My date ideas are the best. Second, Eurwyn was the one to ask me out."

Matt linked his fingers with Eurwyn's, staring at his boyfriend pale blue eyes as if memories only the both of them shared filled their mind. A light blush appeared on their cheeks when they turned their attention to the others and realized they hadn't stopped staring at them.

Eurwyn's gaze fell on the young boy he had met at the Dragon's Lair. Sammy, if he remembered right. The young boy, still biting on another apple he had retrieved earlier was staring at him. Eurwyn could feel from there the glimmer of the white and olive green that inhabited the young boy's mind. Not even the atrocity of war had managed to damage the innocence and will that radiated off of him.

Eurwyn recalled the flames he had seen in his sister's mind. The love she had for the young boy. And the fear and dread she felt, were anything to happen to him. The sadness she had felt when she had had to send them away. The guilt she had felt when she had lied to him. And the horror that now haunted her nightmares.

Sammy kept staring at him until a shy smile spread across his lips. He fiddled with his fingers the fur of the hound that now rested in his lap.

"You really are our captain's brother, right?"

"Yes. I still have difficulties figuring out our calendars differences as on Atlantis the days and years are longer. But, she's five years older than me."

"So she's your big sister?"

Eurwyn smiled at the excitement in Sammy's voice. "Yes, she is."

"What was she like?"

"You know… I was really young when the accident happened and… after that, I lost most of my younger years memories. But I remember the taste of the cakes she made every so often. She was really stubborn and didn't give up on her first tries when the burned odors had invaded the kitchen." Eurwyn chuckled at the memory, remembering his mother rushing to the kitchen to check on them. "She shrugged it off and went to retrieve more eggs. She would never stop on a fail attempt."

"Yes. She's awesome!"

"I guess she remained the same after all those years… That's great. That's really great…" Eurwyn ignored the lump in his throat and closed his eyes. "I remember her smile, her soothing presence in my head and the games we would play in the forest."

"Mama Lu loves to play games. We used to play hide and seek a lot with her and Deandra. But Merryn always won those games," Sammy smiled, ruffling the hound's head. "Her smell is really developed and she knows where we are on the ship all the time. It's thanks to her that we found you."

"You were looking for the Red Fury, am I right?"

"Jijii went on her own and we had to find her before she did anything stupid," Tori said, stepping in the conversation. "I don't think you'd be in a good shape if we hadn't found you."

"Don't worry," Eurwyn laughed, "I've seen worse." His gaze shifted to the kitchen where the woman had disappeared into a few minutes ago. He recalled the dark that he had seen in her mind and the memories of her he had seen in Lucy's mind. It was like two different persons.

Eurwyn wondered why she had remained so long at Lucy's side. But her reaction at the sight of his necklace proved one thing to him: the woman, or whatever monster lurking beneath her skin, was ready to do anything in order to retrieve her captain. Knowing that he could only accept to stay with her team for a little while until they achieved their mission. Besides, it was Lucy's crew, they were allies of Voltron and Matt's long-lost sister was part of the team. They were trustworthy, right?

Eurwyn could feel the joy in his boyfriend's mind. Could feel happiness coming from everyone's mind, allowing themselves to ignore the pain and troubles for a couple of minutes. Eurwyn felt the sting of hope piercing through him as well. Was it finally the time for everything to fall back into place?

Eurwyn didn't have the courage to watch his sister being taken away from him for the third time in his life. Two was enough.

Eurwyn hold on onto his necklace, feeling the shape of the medal under his fingertips. She deserved to be back with her family once and for all.

/

"So she had a brother, huh?" Ash muttered, sipping her Irish coffee, still bewildered by the news.

Along with Jijii, Lo, and Makara, Ash was sitting by the kitchen's counter and the four of them had only one thought in their mind: Eurwyn. Eurwyn and Lucy and all the different things that had happened in the past hours. They all had had different reactions to the news but Ash knew what lingered was mostly shock and hurt feelings.

"Why?" Makara asked suddenly, waving her arms as she talked, "Why did she stay with us? Why did she stay with us when she could have gone home? None of that should have happened. She should have gone back! If she had not been so stupid she would have…"

Lo rubbed Makara's back slowly as tears welled in the woman's eyes. Even if she was barely ten years older than her captain, Makara had learned to care about her as if she was her own daughter. Just like she had grown attached to all the little kids Lucy had put in her care. Losing Stergann during the battle at Zarkon's headquarters, learning that Lucy was gone and not having to care about the younger ones anymore had an important toll on her and she was now on edge all the time. She didn't have anything else to do but turn around in the corridors and find some ways to make herself useful. Learning that Lucy could have been safe this entire time was something hard to process.

"I would never have expected it," the scientist said softly. "Somehow, I never actually thought about it. We're all orphans here so I would have never guessed that Lucy - the one who started it all - had a family. Had a home. A place to go back to…"

"We never really asked either," Jijii shrugged. "And besides, everyone has their secrets. Rule number one, remember?"

"I certainly hadn't expected you to shrug it off so easily, Jijii," Ash said, staring at their new captain.

"What? You think I should burn down all the place out of frustration, blame, jealousy or anger?" Jijii stared at them, her cup of steaming coffee in her hand. "No. Might as well make it useful and keep it inside for a certain Lotor."

"You're right." Lo agreed. "We're going to teach him a lesson!"

"Let's get down to business then." Ash winked as she grabbed Makara's arm. "We're going to kick his ass so hard he won't even see us coming."

"Hell, we are." Jijii smiled, finishing her coffee in one gulp.

But just when they were about to exit the kitchen to join the others in the main room, Hazel and Merryn appeared in front of them. On her wrist, a light red dot was flickering. Ash could tell from the look on her face that Hazel wasn't there to grab more waffles.

"What is it?" Jijii asked, putting her empty cup back on the counter.

"Intruders."

"Is there going to be a day, once in that stupid timeline, when we'll all be able to enjoy breakfast without trouble?" Ash groaned.

"I guess today isn't the day, Ash. Come on, Hazel, let's go!" Jijii hurried.

/

When the alert echoed in the main room, Matt rushed in the staircase with the others. Intruders had managed to get passed Scarlet Kaida's defense without being noticed until now. And they were inside. Judging by what the navigator and the blue-haired lady had told him, they were in the hangar.

When Matt reached the bottom of the stairs he was able to finally see the different silhouettes on the other side of the room. The hangar wasn't lit completely and the blueish light reflected strangely on the stranger's armors.

Matt gasped when Sammy's hound grew bigger all of a sudden. Flames burst out and licked her fangs. The captain had unsheathed her sword and the black blade glinted under the firelight. Matt cursed. A fight couldn't erupt here. It wasn't safe. They were all going to die in an explosion if flames reached something they shouldn't have. Matt needed to find a solution.

"Matthew Holt. Eurwyn Kyra." Matt's eyes darted to Eurwyn's when he heard both their name coming from the stranger's voice. Their unexpected guest was definitely a woman and her voice sounded strangely familiar to his ears. "Show yourself before I come and get you!"

 _Oh_.

Matt blamed the strange echo of the hangar and her mask for him to only understand now who she was. Matt knew her, and he could tell from the tone of her voice that she wasn't happy. Not mad - not yet - but her calm wouldn't last long.

"Guys, put down your weapons," Matt told the others. "We know them. They're with us."

The crew looked at him with weird eyes, not once lowering their weapons. Matt guessed he hadn't earned their trust enough yet for them to listen to him. Eurwyn however, slowly walked toward the group on the other side of the hangar. His innocent smile beamed across his face.

Matt caught up with him and the both of them faced Daleen and Elden.

"Morning Daleen, morning Elden!" Matt greeted as he grabbed Eurwyn's hand.

"Morning you two," Elden replied. Daleen's foot, however, was stomping on the floor. Patience had never been her greatest asset. It was clear to Matt that she wanted explanations.

"We can explain." Eurwyn started, sensing just as much the impatience radiating off of Daleen. Matt wondered what colors Eurwyn saw when people were in such states.

"I hope you do," Daleen finally spoke. "Because I'm sure you can both imagine our surprise when we arrived and we realized you were both gone. Just after attacks had occurred."

"Sorry, things got crazy." Eurwyn sheepishly smiled.

"Why am I not surprised?" Elden sighed, a familiar softness in his green eyes.

"But don't worry," Eurwyn smiled once more. "We're both fine!"

Daleen's face expression shifted and a relieved sigh escaped her lips. Her annoyed pout disappeared behind the relief that washed over her face. She locked her arms around Eurwyn and Matt. They both smiled and hugged her back, knowing the worry had left her - for now.

"Don't scare me like that again," she told Eurwyn, caressing his cheek. "I don't want to lose another child."

"Oh, mom. About that…"

"Mom?" Jijii exclaimed. "She's your mother!?"

Matt hadn't realized until now but the others had gotten closer to them. They must have understood at some point that Daleen and the others weren't a real threat and had lowered their weapons a little - even if Matt could still see the glint of some unsheathed blades in the darkness.

"Yes. Who are you?" Daleen growled, suddenly taking a step forward as if to protect the two young men. "Are you the one who kidnapped my son?!"

"No," Jijii replied with a bored tone and shrugged, "Technically I wasn't the one to bring him here. They did." She pointed at the paladins. Shiro's and Lance's eyes widened; they probably hadn't expected to suddenly become the center of the attention.

Mother instincts kicked in once more in Daleen's body and wrath flared behind her chocolate eyes. Both Eurwyn and Matt reacted right away and kept her from launching on Jijii. Matt realized his first impression of the girl had been right. She was worse than Eurwyn when it came to facing danger. She jumped right into it.

"Mom! Wait!" Eurwyn exclaimed, putting his hand on her shoulder. "They didn't kidnap me. Not exactly."

Daleen's eyebrows furrowed. Matt had forgotten how bad Eurwyn was when it came to saying the right thing right away. Maybe it was one of the many factors that always got his boyfriends into troubles. He was a real Walking Disaster.

I wonder if his sister his the same…

"Anyways we're cool now," Eurwyn added before turning to the others. "Mom, may I introduce Pidge, she's Matt's little sister, and she's the Green paladin of Voltron. Lance, Shiro, Hunk and Keith are also Paladins." Eurwyn eyed at his mother to make sure she was still listening and not ready to jump at everyone's throat like a panther on a hunt. "And this, is Julie Teerah Eterna, Captain of the Scarlet Kaida. And everyone, meet Daleen and Elden Kyra, officers of the rebel alliance. My parents."

"Wait, so this is the Scarlet Kaida?" Confusion now gleamed in Daleen's eyes.

"Yes, ma'am," Jijii smirked.

"But- but I thought she was its captain." Matt's guts twisted at the sight of her face when she turned her gaze to Eurwyn once more. Her hand gripped her husband's. Matt could only see the dread on both their face now.

"This is temporary. Jijii is our captain until we get Lucy back." Aeris explained.

"Get her back? What do you mean?"

Matt felt Eurwyn tense beside him and he squeezed his fingers softly. He needed to tell his parents what the situation was.

"Mom- Lucy's been captured. Lotor… Lotor has her."

"What?! He stole her from us again?"

"Again? What do you mean by that exactly?" Aria asked.

Daleen clenched her fists.

"Five years ago, my beloved daughter was taken away from me by that bastard. We joined the Alliance in order to find a way to get her back and crush the Galra."

"So you're telling me that Lotor, the same Lotor who captured her and is using her power against her will as we speak, was the one to throw Lucy into the Arena?!" Lo exclaimed.

"Yes."

"Why?!" Lo's voice broke into a higher and uneven tone. "That's Lucy we're talking about. She's never hurt anyone, or like, no one who didn't really deserve it."

"And nor did Shiro or Matt or even my father," Pidge argued. "The Empire doesn't need reasons to throw people in the Arena or send them to work camps. They take everything they want and get rid of what's useless for them."

Memories flashed in front of Matt's eyes. He had escaped the Arena thanks to Shiro but it didn't mean that he had been spared by the Empire. When Daleen's gaze fell on his sister, Matt found himself praying that Pidge would never have to witness such thing. He even wished she wasn't there. Because if she was, that meant she was involved in that dirty war. And not only was she involved into it, she was a Paladin of Voltron. She was a golden target.

"You're Pidge, right?" Elden asked in a soft tone.

"Yes."

"And you're all paladins of Voltron?"

"Yes?" Lance replied, eyebrows raised. Matt wasn't seeing either where Elden was going with all his questions. He was impressed by his legendary calm. Whereas Daleen and Eurwyn were as fierce as the fire, Elden was calm and still as the water. And he was just as powerful as the both of them.

"And you're the Scarlet Kaida. You're allies of the Blade of Marmora aren't you?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I think it's fair to say that none of us want the Galra's reign to last any longer."

"Therefore," Daleen smirked, knowing exactly what Elden meant. "It's time for us to finally gather a meeting between all our teams so we teach a final lesson to the bastard who took away my daughter."

"Damn right." Elden smiled, linking his fingers with Daleen.

A wicked grin spread across Jijii's lips.

Time had finally come.


	19. Hope

Pidge cursed as she walked back to her lab. Two weeks had gone by since she'd been reunited with her brother and as always, Matt had been right. As he had warned on Scarlet Kaida the other day before the rest of the Kyra family arrived, the attacks hadn't stopped. On the contrary; they had multiplied over the days. Lotor had stepped up his game and was now acting as the hero of the story.

A whole new level of propaganda.

He didn't have to be there for Lucy's illusions to work their magic. Pidge bet that she only had to stand in the middle of a crowd and convince them that Voltron was there, then Lotor would suddenly appear in the scenery and save the day before any damage was made to the village. Many stories were already being told everywhere. ' _Lotor saved us', 'He isn't like his father', 'Voltron turned against us'_. Pidge had heard many of them as she and the others had infiltrated some of the villages after the attacks.

Even as simple as it sounded, it was an efficient and working strategy and more and more people believed in the news that was spreading like wildfire all across the galaxies. Lotor was winning and getting more and more followers each day.

For now, they were in hiding. Pidge hated every second of it. Keith, who had always been as patient as her, often joined Kolivan and the remaining member of the Blade of Marmora on missions. Kolivan had told them that barely a hundred members were left and, now that it was on the verge of collapsing, he could use all the help he could get.

Besides, it wasn't as if his absence kept the team from doing anything. Voltron couldn't be used while Lucy's illusions were still working against the people's common sense and the Coalition had to wait for Lotor to make the wrong step.

But Lotor wasn't his father. He was clever. He was a mastermind and thought through each and every of his actions and always seemed to be three steps ahead of them.

The team couldn't do anything; not until they could make up some plan to stop Lotor's.

But Pidge knew she couldn't stop working. She had found Matt again, his father was reunited with their mother and she had even been able to chat with them. Anything could happen and with her brother's help, there was no way the firewall she had been fighting against for days could resist any longer. The meeting between the Alliance, the Blade and the rest of the Coalition was finally being held and together they could only find a solution.

The tide was changing, Pidge could feel it. She had always been taught by her parents to trust her instincts more than anything. With Matt and all the others on her side, she knew she could do it. They were going to fight back and win.

Once and for all.

/

Cosmo's eyes shot open.

He couldn't rest. He couldn't sleep. Not now. The gears in his brain would not stop turning. He needed a plan and he needed it now. It was his job. Find solutions.

So why couldn't he?

Cosmo stared at his desk. His workspace was clustered with crumpled plans, broken pencils, and just _garbage_. It had been days since he last spoke with anyone. Heck, when was the last time he had even seen a person? He had locked himself up in his lab, refusing to get out until he had found something; _anything_. He knew from looking at his reflection in his computer screen that, except for the dark circles under his eyes, colors had left his face.

 _Three weeks…_

The number haunted his mind. Days and weeks had gone by without clues on how to save Lucy. Nothing had changed, and nothing ever would. First, Deandra's death. Then Lucy's capture. Her powers disappearance. The destruction of Atlantis. The attacks… Everything kept happening without them being able to do anything. There was nothing they could do, no tactics to fight against Lotor and counter his attacks. He didn't use any patterns, it was as if he chose his targets randomly and Cosmo knew the bastard was playing with their nerves.

Lotor knew the crew was aware he had Lucy, aware that he was using her illusions, aware that they couldn't do anything. Lotor had managed to turn Voltron into the enemy, not only to him, but to the entire galaxy.

 _Stupid propaganda_ , he cursed, crumbling another blank paper. They were harmless and while they sat and waited, Lotor maintained with his plan. Who knew what the next step would be?

None of them did, and until they - _he_ \- had figured out something, they'd be stuck there. Hiding. They couldn't attack randomly, they had to be certain Lotor was going to be there before they tried anything, or else they would ruin any chance of getting Lucy back and would get captured too.

The only thing they knew was that there were usually two hours between each attack, sometimes more. Just enough for Lucy to recharge her batteries. Cosmo had no doubt they were manipulating her with hallucinations and other torturous tricks to force Lucy to act in such abnormal ways. She had limits and Cosmo knew she had crossed those lines long ago. Lotor was going to kill her if they didn't stop him.

If they ever did…

Cosmo shook his head. They were going to retrieve her. There was no other way around it. Right?

His fingers trembled as he went to pick up his fallen pen on the floor.

Cosmo glanced at them, knowing exactly what he needed to do for the shaking to stop. But he wouldn't. Not until Lucy was home. Not until she was safe. Not until Lotor rested six feet under.

His fingers clenched around the pencil. He wouldn't allow himself to rest, but it wasn't like he could either.

"You can't save her, Cosmo."

A shiver ran down his spine as he heard the voice once more. He squinted his eyes shut. She had been at it for days now.

 _Go away. You're not real. Go away._

The young girl didn't budge. She was sitting on the table, her long legs hanging off the edge. She was wearing her favorite outfit - the same one that had never stopped haunting him. A bright red leather jacket stolen from the mall, ripped jeans and that American band shirt he never understood. Waves of ebony hair flowed over her shoulders, framing her tanned face. She'd have been beautiful if it wasn't for the unfamiliar glow the night lights gave her and the sneer that split her lips.

"You can't save anybody," she insisted once more. Her voice was deeper than he had ever heard, her brows furrowed. She spat every word as if they were bullets that punctured his chest.

Cosmo felt his breath caught in his lungs.

 _Go away._

"You're useless,"

 _Leave me alone…_

"You'll fail."

 _Go away._

Panic rose inside him.

He couldn't contain it. A sweat broke out as tears poured down his face. Clasping his hands over his ears in attempts to mute her out, he fell off the chair and crawled away from his desk.

But no matter what he did, she always came back at him. Her dark eyes crept into his mind, into his soul, and her words send horribles feelings in his stomach. Images came back to his mind and he pushed them back, desperately trying to fight against the nightmares that were threatening to break through the gate she had opened in his mind.

 _Go away._

He couldn't breathe anymore.

 _Go away!_

Cosmo threw his box of pens at her. The glass exploded against the wall and the pens crashed on the floor, scattered all over. But Geo was still here, standing in the middle of the room, coming right from his nightmares. She walked toward him slowly, one step at a time, her hard glare never leaving his eyes as she spoke.

Cosmo put his hands over his ears again, masking the sound her footsteps made on the ground, trying to ignore his itch to scream, his uneven breathing and the words she spat at him once more"You can't save her. Just like you couldn't save _me_!"

Cosmo ran for the door.

He needed to get out.

But the ghost in his mind seemed to follow him in every shadow the corridor lights cast against the walls. Her wicked laughter followed him down the hall as he ran away, her words and the images she depicted haunting his mind. He shut his eyes once more and ran faster. He'd been through these halls sober and drunk, he didn't need light to lead his way.

 _She's not real._

 _She's not real._

 _She's not real._

Cosmo's feet stumbled on the carpet and he crashed on the floor. The light switched on automatically at his presence and another sob escaped his throat. Why did it have to be there? Why did his footsteps have to lead him here out of all places?

Out of habit, he had run straight for Lucy's office. And the room, empty of her reassuring presence, didn't ease his thoughts. He tried to get back up but his legs collapsed under his weight once more and he starred as books fell to the floor. Bookmarks fell and scattered on the ground, as if, them too, had given up on Lucy's return.

"She will _never_ come back here," Geo whispered once more in his ear. Running had done nothing and she was here, smirking down at him. Tonight, Lucy wasn't there to chase his demons away. She wasn't going to hold his hand, wasn't going to say a few words and he wasn't going to fall asleep to her sweet lullabies.

Blood dripped from his palms from clenching his fists too hard. He needed to punch something.

"She won't come back, brother. _Never_."

Cosmo caught one of the pillows from the sofa and held it close against his chest. Memories of long night talks with Lucy came to his mind, easing his thoughts for one small second.

He couldn't see Geo anymore. He couldn't hear her, but he knew she wasn't gone. Her voice, her presence, was engraved in Cosmo's head. His sister would never leave until she had what she wanted, like the stubborn little girl she was. She had always been better at this game than him.

Tonight was no different.

"Give up already."

And so he did.

Cosmo jumped. He knew he was in a dream the second he saw where he stood. He was back home.

 _His eyes fell on the thick envelope in his hands. In big black letters his name was written, followed by a big red stamp of the Galaxy Garrison._

 _"Congratulations, Isaac," his father smiled, "you got in."_

 _"We're really proud of you,_ mijo _."_

 _He stared back at his parents, dumbfounded. The both of them were sitting on that floral couch he had always hated, their tired traits engulfed into the dim yellow light. Dimples he hadn't seen in ages appeared at the corner of his mother's lips._

Cosmo blinked. He could barely comprehend it. He had dreamt countless time of his life back on Earth, with his parents and family _ー_ before anything happened _ー_ but he had never seen it so vividly. Never had it felt so real, never had he been able to feel as if his parents were really there, inches apart from him. It was as if he could touch them if only he made one step forward. It was as if, this time, they wouldn't vanish in mid-air, leaving him alone in an empty space.

But even though he knew the place, seeing it - seeing them - left a weird impression in his stomach. It felt like he was a ghost, trapped inside his own body. He wasn't in control and could only watch as the scene kept playing like an old VHS in front of his eyes.

 _The envelope fell to the floor and he kept staring at it. He had never thought he'd be accepted. How could he? How could he dare to dream about it when the only realistic future he had in front of him was his father and his shoe business? And yet, there it was._

 _His eyes caught the mud on his foot and he felt the sting around his left eye once more. Those kids were wrong. The proof laid in front of him: he was going to achieve his dreams. Soon he'd become an engineer and he would build ships for the pilots that traveled far away into space._

 _As far as he could remember, he knew he had always wanted it. He had always loved math, science and astronomy. He could remember his first hours working on the old car his big brother Julian had found. When he was eleven, Julian had left for Mexico City in order to go to university, but he had never stopped working on the car, embracing his new hobby. Caught in his daydreams, he would spend hours repairing it and imagined, instead of the old metal carcass, a bright and white spacecraft, gleaming brightly under the light of the hangar._

 _"Careful,_ hermano _! You're going to damage it!" a younger voice scolded._

 _"Geo…"_

 _Geovanna grabbed the fallen envelope on the floor and opened it, reading its words with a big and proud smile. In moments like this, it was as if Geo was more excited than he was. They were the two younger siblings in the family and with barely three years between the two, they had always shared everything. So, of course, Geo knew what it meant for him to get in - and how much it meant for his parents that he had also obtained a full scholarship._

 _She hugged him tight and he smiled back, smelling the perfume of her favorite shampoo fill his nostrils._

From there, however, the dream accelerated and Cosmo felt like puking. He wanted to dig his foot in the ground and stop the days and memories from going any faster, any further. But he wasn't in control.

He saw once more his arrival at the Garrison, his first meeting with Oscar and the friendly greetings in the corridors, the hardships and the failed first tests. He had finally found a worthy opponent, an interesting challenge. He saw himself diving into his books and notes, saw the first sessions in the simulators, the better grades, the times in the labs and his first date with Sage.

Then came graduation and suddenly he was back home.

 _"You didn't come for my birthday," Geo said silently, sobs shaking her shoulders as she refused to look at him._

 _"You know I can't miss school."_

 _"It was my_ quinceañera _, Isaac!" she shouted. "Or did you forget about that too?! Everyone was there! Even Luna and Julian managed to come! Everyone was there but you! Not even a call, not even a letter, a text, nothing!"_

Cosmo wanted to shout his apologies, explain what had happened and say that he was sorry, that he should have been there. Birthdays had always been an important tradition in the family and Geo had been looking forward to her _quinceañera_ all her life.

 _"What happened to my brother? I don't recognize you. What have they done to you? Are you living such a better life in America that you want to forget about us? What is even that nickname they gave you? Cosmo? Do you also want to forget your own name?! Forget about us? Are you that ashamed?"_

Geo was a businesswoman at heart, always had been. She was stubborn and held grudges, she was merciless. But she was his little sister and he knew exactly what she needed to hear. But he also knew he had never spoken those three little words that day.

 _Geo ran away in front of his silence and climbed the stairs in a hurry._

 _"I hate you!" she shouted before slamming the door of her room._

Cosmo shouted, fought against the dream, against the memories. He knew exactly what was coming afterward. He didn't want to see that. Not again. Not ever.

But he wasn't in control. He never was.

He kept looking through eyes that didn't feel like his own. He was a spectator to his own memories and mistakes. The path was tracing itself in front of him, oblivious at the time. He was well aware of the consequences of his actions now.

 _"Excited, Cosmo?" the captain teased, knowing he was still wrapped up with his sister. He was set out for his first mission into space and everyone had come to say goodbye. Everyone but her._

 _He smiled shyly at the captain and nodded, attempting to put aside the thought of his sister and the hatred he had seen in her eyes and focused on the exciting, life-changing trip that awaited him. He had assisted in designing their spacecraft, its engine, and part of its technology. He was excited about his first mission._

 _He was reaching his nineteenth birthday and was finally standing next to the white spacecraft of his childhood dreams._

 _"See? I told you we wouldn't' call you newbie forever," Amber, the co-pilot, winked at him. "Besides, Cosmo has a nicer ring to it, don't you think?"_

 _They'd been calling him Cosmo since the start of the project. The mission was to set search for the missing scientists on Kerberos and to investigate the crash involving traces of unidentified matter. The Captain had also mentioned to them the fact that technology, further advanced than what humans could ever imagine, had also been found. Which explained why Cosmo was urgently needed, despite his young age. Most of the other members of the team were twice his age. But Cosmo had never minded it, and neither did they. Everyone in the crew treated him as their equal and respected his opinion and knowledge. In return, Cosmo respected their own experience and knowledge._

 _Along with Oscar, Sage and his other friends back at the Garrison, the small crew had become family to him over the amount of time they had spent all together, working and pulling their hair out when making the last edits on their plans and other mission schedules. Everything was calculated and Cosmo liked that. He liked the comfort and security that it brought to him._

 _A deep laugh arose from the astronomist, Ken. "Make sure that if you throw up, you use this bag." He held up a long bag made of orange and black fabric. Even if Cosmo wasn't terrified, it apparently didn't keep him from having his guts twisted with both excitement and anxiety. And Ken had noticed it right away._

 _When he saw Earth through the aircraft window, he felt a light feeling in his stomach. It was nothing compared to the simulator. The air began to chill and he felt the hairs on his arms and legs rise with apprehension and excitement._

 _He was actually doing this. He was going to explore space. He had achieved his dream._

 _The rest of the crew cheered and after their small applauded to the captain, he retreated to his cabin. He and his knowledge weren't needed until they reached their destination and he needed to study the last notes the scientists had managed to send before they disappeared for good. But as much as he wanted to stare in awe at space through the window or dive into his work, he couldn't. He was overwhelmed and he was sick. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed to rest. And so he did, for a couple hours at least, until a blaring siren woke him up suddenly, its red lights reflecting on the white walls._

 _He rushed to the cockpit. Amber and Ken were hurrying from one screen to another._

 _"Guys, I'm getting readings from within the ship," Amber warned._

 _"Did something get inside?" he questioned, knowing that it was impossible. He had designed the ship, there were only two ways in and out and it was impossible for something to get inside without them knowing. And for the Red Alert to go off, it could only mean that their security system had failed them until now._

 _The Captain cursed. "Isaac, shut off the alarm and cancel the distress signal! The rest of you, come with me," he commanded, setting off the autopilot before revealing his blaster. Pulling out their identical weapons, Amber and Ken followed after him and the three of them staggered to the hall._

 _Cosmo rushed toward the command, sweat sticking to his back, and started to shut down part of the system so the signal wouldn't be sent out._

 _"Please confirm cancellation," a feminine monotone voice said._

 _"Confirmed!" he yelled._

 _"Please confirm cancellation," she repeated._

 _"I confirm."_

 _Silence. "Please confirm cancellation."_

 _"CONFIRMED CANCELLATION!"_

 _A low whistle escaped from the speaker, replacing the alarm. He released his breath, relieved. He had managed to shut it off in time._

 _Screams arose from the halls - it was the captain._

 _"Who are you? Get on your knees!"_

 _A wobbly voice answered, "I'm here to see the engineer!"_

 _He shot from his seat and bolted in the corridor._

 _It couldn't be her, surely he had misheard._

 _He pushed aside his crew only to see for himself the small shuddering silhouette._

 _"Geo?!"_

 _"You know her, Cosmo?" the Captain asked, a mask of calmness on his face._

 _"She's my sister," he replied, feeling a shudder run down his spine. What was she doing here? What was he supposed to do? They couldn't send her back, they couldn't risk losing a space pod and there was no way they would turn around. But the oxygen, the furniture, and the provisions had been perfectly calculated for their needs only. Geo shouldn't be here. She_ couldn't _be here. What was she even doing here?_

 _"_ ¿Por qué estás aquí?" _he asked, his voice trembling. Looking around, he knew the others were just as confused as he was._

 _"I couldn't risk saying goodbye to you without apologizing," she said, remaining in their mother tongue. Her shoulders were shaking. The alarm and the Captain has scared her to death. He wondered how the hell she had managed to remain there, unbeknownst to them until now._

 _"You weren't kidding when you said your fam was crazy," Amber scoffed, tucking her weapon away as she held her hand toward the young petrified girl._

 _If only they hadn't focused on Geo. They should have known. They shouldn't have stopped their research there. It was impossible for the alert to set itself because of Geo. She had been there before they took off, before the security system was on._

 _Something else had started the alert and it wasn't the fifteen years old girl._

Cosmo battled against the dream once more, struggling against the images his ghosts had unlocked. Proving the point of the young girl that now haunted his mind. He didn't want to see it. Not again. He needed to leave. He couldn't stay here. If it was truly a dream then he needed to wake up. And fast. He didn't want to live that scene all over again. It had haunted his nights too many times already.

 _Darkness._

 _The lights blew out and the ship began to rotate, metal wailing and creaking. A shriek escaped Geo's lips as she fell to the ground once more. Tension rose inside them all._

 _Breathing became hard for him. The bitter taste of fear filled his mouth. It was too much all at once and he could feel the panic attack arriving at full gallop._

 _He could hear the stomping noise of feet against the metal floor. Someone was climbing the stairs toward them and they weren't alone._

 _The three of them grasped and unlocked their weapons. Geo ran toward her brother and held onto him, tears gleaming on her cheeks as she bit her lips in anticipation. No one moved a muscle. No one dared to breathe._

 _A tall trio strolled in, wearing grey and purple suits covering them from head to toe. He felt his gasp die on his lips and subconsciously stepped in front of his sister._

 _The Captain was the first to make a move._

 _He pulled the trigger._

 _The attack did nothing._

 _The three armors remained intact and the captain's heroic move led these people - aliens - to recklessly shove a blade into his chest._

 _Another cry of horror. Ken rushed to the Captain's side and earned a bullet to the head._

 _"We got your distress call," a heavy voice announced. A figure walked forward, taller than the others. Dark greyish skin - or armor, he couldn't tell - and a red cape slug around his shoulder, dragged behind him. There wasn't a single wrinkle. They seemed to be twice as big as the three humans remaining to face them._

 _"N-no, it was an accident," he managed to say, his hand crawling to his back pocket. Why was he doing it?_

 _"Well if you don't need the help, we'll make sure you need it."_

 _The towering guards took ahold of the remaining three. A pair of hands shot to Amber's neck, and being the coward he truly was, he shut his eyes when he heard the crack._

 _Geo was whimpering behind him._

 _He needed to protect her._

 _Swiftly, without thinking, his elbow shot up. Flipping a solid thing over his shoulder, he pointed his blaster at the beast. "Who are you?"_

 _The monster smirked. "Keep that one."_

 _A pair of arms tugged at him._

 _"Isaac?!" The siblings were being pulled apart; they were taking him away. "Isaac!"_

 _He struggled to get to his sister, they were too strong. His sister's eyes, the hazel eyes they shared, were glossy and scared._

 _Finally, they forced him to turn the corner._

 _There was a scream for Isaac._

 _A gunshot._

 _A thud._

Cosmo felt his heart broke once more at the memory. He wanted to scream and shout but his voice didn't answer. He could feel the salty taste of tears on his chapped lips.

He needed to wake up. This was enough. He had seen enough, lived enough, suffered enough. He needed it to be over. He didn't want to see anything more.

His head spun as the dream shifted once more. When he was able to focus once again, a gasp escaped his lips and he choked on his tears. His fingers began to shake all over again.

In front of him laid the broken corpse of his little sister.

Lifeless hazel eyes. Leather jacket torned apart. White shirt covered in blood.

Cosmo wanted to run away but he still couldn't control his movements. He couldn't escape. Couldn't do anything to keep the images from coming in. His knees fell to the floor.

A gasp escaped his quivering lips when he felt the dirt under his nails. Cosmo knew where he was and he didn't like reliving _that_ either.

When he looked up he saw the faded faces of the ghosts that haunted his life.

He stepped backward.

 ** _No. No. No. No._**

The dream had turned into a nightmare.

Amber, Deandra, Ken, Geo; all of the people he hadn't manage to protect and save and all the people the Galra had made him kill over the months he had spent in the Arena suddenly ran toward him. His arm shot up to his face, in a poor attempt to protect himself. What could he do against so many people? Blame and fear froze him on spot.

But when the fatal blow didn't come he opened his eyes slowly.

They were gone.

Cosmo was panting. It was over.

They were gone. It was over.

Then why hadn't he woken up?

Cosmo examined his surroundings.

He was still in the arena, blood still stained the ground but his sister and friends' nightmarish versions were gone. His victims, too.

But he wasn't alone.

A new silhouette had appeared into the arena. Dressed in a white summer dress, her damaged sandals had left marks on her barefoot. Dirt and purple bruises covered her skin but Cosmo breathed in, relieved.

It was Lucy.

There was nothing to fear. He knew that scene, just as much as he knew the others. But this memory wasn't dreadful. No.

It was the night he first met Lucy.

The night all of them escaped.

The night she had freed them.

There was nothing to fear. He was going to escape. _She_ was going to escape. They were are all going to be okay. Cosmo knew what was going to happen. Just like years ago, Lucy's dress would turn into a light armor, she was going to run toward him and at the last minute, she was going to jump on a pedestal she had created with her power, surprising everyone. No one knew she had them. Using that amount of time to her advantage, Lucy was going to throw her power at them and before the shocked officers would be able to move, a dagger would have blossomed in their chest.

There was nothing to fear. Lucy would fall back and Jijii's fire wall would be there, too. She had escaped from her cell and so had the dark and huge hellhound that fought beside them. Fire would engulf the arena and everyone with it. Galra soldiers defeated, prisoners freed.

Cosmo knew that. It was going to happen any second now.

Except it didn't and another kind of fear conquered his mind as he saw himself pick a fallen sword on the ground. Lucy didn't budge.

 ** _No. No. No. No._**

He made a step forward. And another one.

Soon, he was running.

 ** _No. No. No. No._**

The young girl's frightened eyes widened at the sight but she remained frozen on spot.

She wasn't a soldier. She wasn't able to fight. She was frozen by fear.

 ** _No. No. No. No._**

Cosmo watched as the blade plunged itself mercilessly into the young girl's chest.

Blood spilled on the floor.

Like in the middle of a cruel game, the dream decided for this moment to give back Cosmo the control of his movements. He managed to catch her before her body hit the ground. Hot, black blood stained his shaking fingers.

Cosmo whipped his head around, looking for help. But there was no one. No one to help him. He wasn't in the arena anymore, and, surrounded by darkness, he was the only spectator to the dreadful scene that played in front of him.

Cosmo and Lucy were the only ones in this nightmare.

 ** _No. No. No. No._**

Tears rushed down Cosmo's cheeks as he witnessed life leaving her. He removed the hair from her face, shaking. Her chocolate eyes lost their sparks and became dull.

She was dead.

He had killed her.

/

"Cosmo!" Jijii shouted once again, grasping his shoulder. "Cosmo, wake up!"

The engineer was on the floor, screaming in his sleep.

 _Cosmo I swear if you don't wake up now I'm gonna empty the vase on your head! Maybe water will do the trick._

Barely coming back from the meeting with Daleen, Kolivan and the others, Merryn had dashed inside the ship, barking as if her life depended on it. Jijii hadn't hesitated, knowing that Merryn wouldn't act this way if something wasn't happening. And once she had caught up with her, Jijii had found Cosmo in the middle of a pile of fallen books. She didn't know what had put it in that state and could only think of the broken glass laying on the floor of his lab and of the blood that dripped from his palms. His nails were digging into the flesh, horror displayed on his face.

"COSMO!"

The man finally woke up and before Jijii could manage to say anything he pushed her away and grabbed the bin by Lucy's small desk. Cosmo emptied the content of his stomach. Merryn whined, never liking when her masters weren't feeling well and went to walk toward him.

Jijii stopped her. In the state he was, Jijii didn't know how he was going to react and she didn't want Cosmo or Merryn to get hurt.

Merryn disappeared in her familiar black mist and teleported once more in the room a few seconds later, a pail in her fangs with a bottle of water, a warm towel and three cookies inside.

"Good girl," Jijii smiled, patting her head.

She put Merryn's delivery on the desk and walked toward Cosmo. Jijii hadn't seen him in such a bad state in years; and last time was way before Scarlet Kaida was even a thing, before they started to fight back against the Empire, before the crew came together. It was after they had escaped the Arena.

She was still facing his back but she could see the way his back rose unevenly with every breath he took.

"Cosmo…"

If the softer tone of her voice hadn't reached his brain, her hand on his shoulder did. Cosmo jolted backward and grabbed Lucy's paper knife on the desk. His shoulders tensed and he looked back at her, eyes unfocused and wide with fear, cheeks wet with tears.

 _Well. This is bad._

Whichever nightmares Cosmo had had, he was still stuck inside it. Jijii stepped back in an attempt to show him that she didn't want him any harm but she didn't even have time to make another step that he launched himself at her. She jumped to the side, dodging his attack just in time. When he came back at her, she blocked his wrist and sent him an uppercut in response. Cosmo staggered back, watching as the blade fell silently to the floor.

"Cosmo! Snap out of it!"

Merryn growled and Cosmo froze at the guttural sound. He blinked and stared at the flames that were now licking the hound's fur. Then his eyes shot back to the droplets of dark blood on the knife, to the fresh cut on the woman's cheek. His lips trembled.

Jijii watched as realization hit his face and another kind of horror and blame spread across his features. Cosmo fell to his knees. His hands flew into the air, faster than what she was used to. The only sign she picked up was the L going up against his palm.

"It's fine Cosmo, slow down." Jijii kneeled in front of him. "I'm fine Cosmo. You didn't do anything. I got nothing, I'm fine I'm telling you." She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand, the scratch had already healed.

Cosmo's breathing finally slowed down a little.

Jijii moved her legs and sat directly in front of him. She looked at him in the eyes when she spoke. "You will breathe while I count up to three, and then you stop breathing for seven seconds. I will count and then you can expire, okay?"

Cosmo nodded, used to their exercises. He put a hand over his chest and focused on his breathing, holding onto Merryn's fur with the other hand. Jijii counted and the both of them repeated the process as many times as he needed.

"In through the nose… Block… Out through the mouth…"

Merryn was used to their exercises too, as, after all, she had grown with them in the past years and had learned to help them. Whether it was Lucy, Jijii, Cosmo or even the young Sam, Merryn was trained to handle their panic attacks and a small flame appeared in front of her muzzle, growing and deflating with every breath he needed to take. The soft and familiar light of the flames soothed him instantly and he focused on them.

"You're doing great Cosmo. It's fine. You're safe."

Merryn rubbed her big head against his shoulder. His tight lips softened into a smile and he gave in, resting his forehead against hers. Jijii handed him the biscuits the hound had brought earlier and his teeth sank into them as Merryn licked the fallen crumbles on the parquet floor. Somehow, she had remembered that chocolate was exactly what he needed after those episodes.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jijii inquired softly, hands resting on her knees. Even if Cosmo seemed to feel better, she knew it was only a facade that would crumble soon.

The engineer didn't budge for a few minutes, biting on his lips. Jijii wanted to tell him to stop before he drew blood but she would let it go tonight, absolutely wanting for Cosmo to explain what was going on. She couldn't let him bottle it up all over again. And Jijii knew, from what Lucy had told her, that patience and silence were the best tools against Cosmo's stubbornness. He would end up explaining, she just had to let him decide when was the moment.

His hands finally moved into the air, slow and precise, enough for Jijii to understand what he was trying to tell her.

 _"I tried, Jijii. I tried so hard. I tried not to let it affect me. But it hurts."_

"It's okay for you to care and be hurt, Cosmo," she assured him, resting her hand on his knee. "Pain is part of us too and you can't keep it all in."

 _"I thought I could be there for her and yet I was just another weight on her shoulders."_

"Don't say that…"

 _"But I was! How many times have I talked to her about Geo? Told her about my nightmares? About the arena? How many times did she see those images in her head before I could control myself and keep them from appearing?"_

Cosmo's hands flew faster into the air as blame overwhelmed him.

 _"How many times did I bring painful memories to her?"_

Cosmo's breath caught in his throat. His lips quivered.

 _"How many times did I tell her about my grief and how I wanted to scream and just cry for hours? How many times did I tell her about my siblings, my home, my friends, when she too was missing them? How many times did she have the opportunity to talk to us and didn't…?"_

"Cosmo… You know you can't beat yourself up for that. It was her choice and we must respect it."

 _"I know. I hate myself for saying that. I know the rules. I know all of them. She created them with us. But I can't help but think she did it only to protect her own secrets. To protect herself, from us… And I just… I can't stop that weird mix of guilt, anger, and blame to come crashing down."_

Cosmo rose, shaken with nausea. He was unable to stay on the ground when everything, every thought and feel he'd been piling up for month now were pouring out of him like that. Images from his nightmare flashed before his eyes.

He clenched his fists, nails digging into his wounded flesh once more

 _"The nightmare… At first, it was only memories, flashbacks from my old life. It felt so real but so far away. I saw it all over again but it was as if I was trapped inside my own body. Isaac was in control but I wasn't. I couldn't do anything. And then…"_

His hands quivered, trembling so hard he couldn't even manage to speak to her anymore. He slammed his fist against the wall, unable to keep the nightmare away. He choked on his tears and turned back to Jijii.

 _"I killed her, Jijii."_

He saw it all over again. Her dull and lifeless eyes. Her skin, colder than he had ever felt it. The shock, frozen on her face. The blade - his blade - inside her chest. But what was haunting him the most was the blood. It was everywhere, dark as the night. On the floor, on her dress, on his hands. He could still recall the bitter taste of it down his throat. And when the darkness had surrounded them… It had felt as if he was drowning inside it. The sight haunted him and he was having a hard time telling apart what was real and what wasn't. It had all felt so real…

Jijii stepped forward and his shoulders shrank. He didn't want to hurt anyone else. Whenever he closed his eyes, Lucy's lifeless body haunted him, her black blood spilled on the arena ground. He could see it again, oozing out of her, slithering between his fingers clutched against her wound, desperate for her healing abilities to finally kick in and save her. But it was too much blood, the wound was too deep. Everyone and everything had its limits and so did her powers.

Nothing could save her.

No one could.

But when Cosmo would open his eyes again, hoping that somehow the horrendous images would disappear, his eyes would fall on the knife on the ground. It felt as if at any second now the blood would start flowing again, dripping from the blade like waterfalls, rushing toward him and ready to kill him, to bring back the pain and the memories.

But even though Cosmo had stepped back, Jijii didn't stop. She wasn't going to let him drown in his nightmarish thoughts all over again. Jijii didn't really know what he had seen - what he was still seeing - but she needed to take him out of the void he was falling in. She knew exactly what she was going to do.

A simple sign from her hand and Merryn teleported the three of them exactly where she wanted them to go. The evening lights came back to life as soon as they stepped into the room.

Cosmo stumbled on his feet, his movements still weak from his different nightmares, and Merryn had taken him by surprise with her sudden teleportation. He looked around and recognized the training area.

The engineer turned back to Jijii, confused.

"Punch me."

Cosmo's brows furrowed, even more confused by her words. " _What?_ "

"You heard me. You're mute, not deaf. Now, punch me."

 _"Jijii, no."_ Cosmo shook his head, refusing to hurt her more than he already had that night.

"Jijii, yes." She took his bruised knuckles in her hand and looked up at him. "The walls are boring opponents Mr. Engineer, and I'm not like Lucy. I won't find the words to calm you down. But I know what will."

His pupils darkened at the mention of her name.

"You need to get it out of your system. The breathing exercises won't be enough for today and I'm pretty sure you've been concealing it inside for the past few days and the sudden arrival of all those new people and basically all the shit that is happening didn't help. So," she took a step back, digging her feet into the ground and opening her arms. "Punch me."

Cosmo didn't look convinced.

"If you feel guilty from being angry at her even though she's slowly dying out there, you can be mad at me instead. Stop beating yourself up and punch me instead, get those feelings out. It's not good for your health."

 _"Because punching you is?"_

"Oh come on Cosmo," she teased. "since when don't you enjoy a good fight with me? If you can't talk with words, you can do it with your fists. And if you need a good fight, I'm always here. You know it.

Cosmo scoffed, remembering the last time they had been fighting together in that arena. Jijii had always been an interesting opponent. It was different from fighting with Lucy or anyone else. Even if Lucy was gifted like Jijii was, most of her illusions didn't work on him as she didn' t possess the surprise effect on him anymore. He knew about her powers which turned them harmless and inefficient. Lucy was more of a defensive type and was always protecting them in battle, and he and Jijii had been the one to teach her how to fight and defend herself. It wasn't easy to win against her anymore, as she had grown even more powerful and skilled over the years, but was doable.

Fighting against Jijii, however, was something else entirely. She used all her weapons at once, loved to carry one in each of her hands and had the fire to help her. Her smaller silhouette allowed her to be faster and her energy seemed to be infinite.

"Go on, Cosmo. Let's blow off some steam, just like in the old times. Or are you afraid you won't even be able to land a punch on me? is that it, baby Cosmo?"

Cosmo let a smile perked at his lips. Jijii was right, it was exactly what he needed.

Jijii smirked and launched herself at him, drawing her blade out of her belt. Cosmo rolled on the ground and dodged her attack, grabbing a set of matching swords on the wall.

Jijii observed as the shaking in his fingers vanished completely, leaving no one in front of her but the soldier Cosmo truly was.

They fought all night long, only stopping when both their stomach growled in unison. Merryn barked, claiming the end of the round. Her worry had vanished from her body and the usual fire on her tail flickered brightly as she asked for more caresses from the two. As for Cosmo, Jijii could only notice that his dark thoughts had left him for now and she knew the sweat on his forehead wasn't from the fear brought by his hallucinations anymore but from the intense training session they just had.

Jijii felt relieved and, as crazy as it sounded after fighting for hours, she fell refueled, filled with a new kind of strength. She too, she realized, had needed that training session to empty the content of her brain and unwind.

Merryn led the way and made sure that the two of them made a stop by the infirmary to attend to their wounds and bandage the new cuts and scratches that covered their arms and legs. As soon as they arrived in the kitchen, however, another opponent awaited them.

"You two!" Lo shouted, pointing her fingers at them, her eyes scrutinizing them suspiciously. "What did you do _again_?"

"We fought."

"And don't try and lie to m- you WHAT?!"

"We fought. What? Did you expect me to tell you that we didn't do anything?"

"Um… yes?"

"Well you thought wrong," Jijii shrugged innocently.

Lo wasn't the only one in the kitchen; Tori, Ash, Eurwyn as well as Matt were there. Lo, however, wasn't done with her and followed after her as Jijii walked toward the counter to earn her well-deserved cappuccino.

"What do you mean you fought each other? Why?"

"Because."

Lo groaned, infuriating. "Can't you both spend a day without coming to the infirmary?!"

"Chill Lo, I took care of his injuries already."

"Why are you bleeding, then?!" she yelled, on the verge of a heart attack.

 _"Her arms were covered in blisters,"_ Cosmo signed, half a smile spread across his lips. _"And my nails are longer than I thought."_

An exasperate shriek escaped the scientist's lips before she grabbed the nearest pan in the kitchen and smacked it over their head. "Damn it, you two!"

"Stop using my kitchen as a prison and a battlefield, damn it!" Ash shouted, seeing that her workspace was once more about to turn in another war zone.

"Come on, Ash!" Jijii whined. "Food and family are the only reasons to fight for!"

All of them laughed at that last comment and Lo dropped the case, letting them grab something to eat. Cosmo gulped down an entire bottle of water while Merryn engulfed the waffles Ash handed her.

"So," Tori started, turning to Eurwyn who had been silently watching the wild morning conversation until now. "When do you plan on telling us how you intended to get Lucy back?"

Matt laughed at Tori's words. "A plan? You certainly don't know him well if you think Eurwyn Kyra has a plan. I'm pretty sure he only intended to knock on Lotor's door, punch him in the face, and take her back."

"Well, isn't that our aim? No matter how many details you want to fill in, it will be our plan in the end! Get there, find Lotor, make him pay and get Lucy back. End of story," Eurwyn argued, crossing his arms over his chest in a very Lucy way.

Lo wondered how she hadn't seen it before, but she could see it now. All the details and the resemblances between the two. From the shape of their nose to the way they interacted with other people and their liking for very matter of fact plans; there were no doubts that Eurwyn was her brother.

"See? The man's crazy." Matt's face grew paler when he saw the looks of the pirates in front of him. "Wait… You aren't thinking the same thing as him, right?!"

"I see no problem with that plan." Ash smirked. "It's a great one!"

Jijii put down her steaming cup of cappuccino. "Excuse me? Big problem here."

"Finally someone with a decent mind!" Matt cried out.

"What?" Tori asked dumbfounded, "I would have expected you to come up with that type of plan."

"Well, _I am_ the one who will fucking punch Lotor in the face. With my sword." Jijii announced proudly.

Matt slammed his hand on his face, utterly disappointed while the rest of the table argued on who deserved the most to punch the guy in the face.

"Stop it!" Lo yelled suddenly, slamming the pan once more -on the table this time. Ash glared at her, eyeing at her kitchenware. "No one is punching anyone."

"Lo, come on!"

"You're not Sugar Lo, you're KillJoy the meanie fairy!" Jijii said, rolling her eyes before sipping her coffee loudly to express her discontent.

"And you're all bad children for not letting me finish." Lo retorted. "After all… Lotor deserves _way_ more than just a punch in the face for what he did to us and our Captain."

"Hell yes!" Both Tori and Ash shouted, knocking their pints together. "They will see what the scarlet souls are made of!"

Everyone cheered at the table, imagining different battleplans and telling each other how they intended to make Lotor pay. Propositions flew into the air and dropped to the ground as soon as Hazel barged into the kitchen, panting.

Everyone turned to her, dreading another alert, another attack, other bad news. They didn't expect her to finally say the words they'd been waiting for, for almost a month now.

A bright smile spread on Hazel's lips as she announced:

"They found her."


	20. Smoke and iron

Pidge opened the door of the hangar for the ship to enter the Castle. She had been the one to announce the news to Hazel earlier, and she wasn't surprised to see some of the crew members arrive on Tori's ship barely a few minutes after. They finally had the hint of some good news about their captain; of course they'd rush to them to see what it was all about.

Jijii was the first to come out of the ship. Cosmo and the others soon followed after and even the young Sammy was part of the small group.

"Pidge, did it work?" Matt asked excitedly.

"Yes, it did," Pidge replied, hugging her brother. "It didn't resist for too long after the changes you made."

"Awesome!"

"Pidge, please, tell us. What is it all about?" Jijii asked, holding Sammy's hand in hers.

"Before every attacks, Lotor and his team crashed the surveillance system of every village they took as target. I managed to create a virus through the Green Lion's signal that would activate itself when it detected the intruders. Every hacker has a signature and so does the one doing the dirty work for Lotor. I managed to follow their trace a few times but couldn't get through their firewalls."

"But now you did?"

"Yes. With Matt's help. I managed to follow their lead and hacked their system. Luckily, this server was still part of the ancient Empire's. Lotor made sure to create a new one to replace the ancient and unsecure system when he came to power. But creating it all from scratch takes time so for now they only secured a few servers only, and apparently this one wasn't done a hundred percent yet."

"What do you want to tell us, Pidge? We're not all expert in technology and code and we don't have time for classes. Tell us what's the point in all of this."

"The point, Ash," Pidge smirked. "Is that I managed to find footage of your dear Captain."

"Really?" Sammy chirped. "You know where she is?!"

"Not yet, but it shouldn't take a lot of time to pinpoint her location. A few days maybe."

"Days?" Sadness broke through his hopeful smile.

"Cracking such complicated system takes time, young one. Patience."

"But it's been a month already…"

Jijii squeezed her fingers around Sammy's and gave him a small smile. "Don't worry Sammy, it'll be over soon."

The group followed the Green Paladin in the stairs and soon they all arrived in front of the rest of the team. Allura stood on the bridge by the Teludav and the paladins were all looking at different pictures on the screens. When they realized that Pidge was back, they all turned to face them.

None of the crew members liked their grim faces.

"What's going on? I thought you had good news, so what with the face?"

Allura sighed.

"Lo… I know Pidge shouldn't have been the one to announce it to you all. I'm not sure she has told you yet the bad side of what she found."

"What is it, Princess? Tell us. What is going on?"

Allura turned to Eurwyn; she hadn't expected so many of them to come. Lucy's closest friends were here and even if she had known Jijii would be here - she was the leader now after all - she had hoped that Lucy's brother or Sammy, the youngest of them all, wouldn't be there. She wasn't sure they were ready to see what Pidge had found. Allura didn't really know how they would handle it. But the Altean Princess knew that they had suffered enough already and moved forward, inviting them to come further into the room and look at what the Paladins were trying to analyze.

On different panels, images were displayed, taken from the video footage Pidge had stolen. Lucy was on each of them. On most of the images she was retreated in one corner, tucked in a ball, clasping her hands over her ears as if someone was talking to her. However, the paladins and the others weren't looking at her shorter hair or at her trembling silhouette. They were staring at the walls of her cell. Bright white walls, shining under the never-ending light, covered in what seemed to be Lucy's handwriting. But instead of words, hundreds of meaningless doodles had been plastered over the white surface.

The newcomers gasped at the sight. The footage seemed to confirm what they had dread all this time.

Merryn growled at the images, knowing that her master was hurt and that she was unable to go to her was hard for her. She wanted just as much as the others to go rescue her already .

A sob broke Lo's stillness. "Insane… That bastard. She's losing her sanity because of him."

"Her powers have been abused many times, maybe more than we know and she's been locked away the rest of the day. That light never stops and with no opportunity to rest…"

"What about that gibberish on the walls? Does it mean anything?" Eurwyn asked, barely managing to hide his breaking voice.

Allura's guts twisted. She had learned at the meeting with the other members of the Coalition and the Rebel Alliance what had happened to the Kyra siblings on Atlantis. Eurwyn hadn't seen his sister in ages and this was the first glance he was given.

Pidge shook her head. "I haven't found any match yet."

Allura wondered if they should have waited a little bit more before telling the crew. Maybe a few doboshes or so until they had found more clues or until Pidge's computers were done with their analysis. Maybe they'd have been able to give them more reassuring information. She was about to try and say something when Sammy beat her to it.

"It's not gibberish," he said, blue eyes glued to the screens. "It's not gibberish," he repeated, turning to Tori and the others as he pointed at the white walls. "It's a code. _Our_ code!"

"A code? Sammy, that's amazing! What does it say?" Tori was amazed by the child's confident smirk and wondered what he could have possibly understood from all of the nonsense.

The young boy smiled shyly, suddenly regretting his outburst. He didn't really like being the center of the attention and now all the adults were looking down at him curiously. "I'm not sure but… I think Mama Lu is telling us where Lotor is gonna attack next."

"Really?! Where?"

"Balmera."

"What? That's impossible!" Hunk exclaimed. "The Balmerans are part of the Coalition, they wouldn't fall for Lotor's words."

Allura's eyes darkened. "You know everything changed since he's become the Emperor, Hunk. Everyone is convinced Voltron is the enemy and that Lotor is saving them. They don't want to be at war anymore and even if we made some friends there, it's not impossible they fell for Lucy's illusions. We've seen their effect in the past already. She's been out there with him for a month and it's been nearly just as much since he took control of her powers. He'll convince them just as he did with the others. And if he goes to Balmera, where our most precious allies are, then it means he's convinced he'll manage to brainwash them as well."

"But Princess…"

"Hunk, it's no use. I'm telling you."

"So, what?" Jijii spat. "You're giving up? Now? After everything?"

"Of course not! I'm not giving up. I'm just saying that we can't convince ourselves that the Balmerans won't fall for Lotor's trick. We have to figure out when he'll be there, find a way to warn the Balmerans and figure out a plan to beat him there."

"Good, then that's exactly what we're going to do," Shiro assured. "It's as simple as that."

"Yeah, easy peasy lemon squeezy!" Lance cheered. "Let's go save the galaxy!"

Allura chuckled at the paladins' behavior. The five of them had a proud and confident smile set on their lips and even Coran looked persuaded that they were capable of doing it. She was glad she had them by her side to fight this war and finally end the conflicts for good.

She turned back to Sammy. "Anyways, Sam, how can you be so sure it's Balmera? Are there any more clues that you can see on the walls?"

The young boy blushed, unused that someone who wasn't part of the scarlet crew talked to him and asked for his help, but he answered nonetheless, proud to be able to help for once.

"The inscriptions on the walls… Most of it is nonsense. It's just doodles and random lines. I don't know if they mean anything but… I think she drew those to hide the meaningful ones?"

"Drawing those to confuse Lotor, hide information under his nose and convince him of her insanity? That's my girl!" Allura stared at Jijii's smirk, there was only her to think that way. "What else can you tell us, Sammy?"

Sammy jumped off Merryn's back and walked toward the blue screen, asking for Coran and Pidge to zoom on the different pictures they had managed to collect.

"I was just three when Lucy rescued me, so she taught me many things. And when I was younger she created this… code for me to understand. It was easier than all those foreign and weird planet names. I love learning about planets. So, Lucy created different symbols to match each of them."

"Yeah, I remember that," Jijii said softly. "You were so curious to learn about all the different planets but it was too complicated for you to remember them. You were too young. So, she designed a map for you."

"Is she talking of the map you pinned over your bed, Sammy?" Tori asked, remembering the day Sam and the other children had arrived at _The Dragon's Lair_ with all of their belongings.

The others were too young to notice it, but Tori knew Sammy had understood the stake of the battle that would happen at Zarkon's headquarters. She hadn't imagined how bad it was going to turn out and looking at Sammy, seeing him standing there, with the mindset of a soldier on a mission, she wondered if he had thought about it before.

"Yup that's it, Tori! And Balmera's symbol is here." Sammy tiptoed and extended his arm to show a small triangle in the top corner - a small spiral was trapped inside it. "Lucy created them. It's like… another alphabet? Somehow? They're just doodles, not really complicated but yeah… This one is for Balmera."

"Impressing."

Pidge hadn't thought about it. She had of course tried to find a pattern and had let the system analyze different potential codes but none of them had matched. And if some did, it was an obvious coincidence where a line had some similar shape with a symbol from another language. None of them really matched and now she understood why.

"It's logic," Lance nodded. "He's probably getting there to get the crystal's energy and would use it for Lucy, just like quintessence kept Zarkon alive. She must be a zombie drained of energy right now after all the illusions they made her do on a daily basis. Even as strong as she is, it's a toll on her and he probably needs to recharge his stock."

Sammy turned back to the different screens and went on with his explanations. All of the adults in the room were listening to him, eager to finally get the clues on Lucy's location they had been waiting for, for so long already. And a nine years old boy had been the key to unlock them.

Pidge put back her glasses on the bridge of her nose and smiled; yet again everyone was proved that a person's age was never part of the equation. She smiled and zoomed on the new area of the picture Sammy was showing her.

"And that other symbol, next to those stick figures, means something too."

Eurwyn gasped.

"It's… It's dialect! Dialect from our town!"

Sammy smiled sadly. "She taught it to me because she wanted to bring me there someday."

Eurwyn walked closer to the screen, his eyes scanning over the images to make sure any other symbols weren't hiding somewhere. When he didn't find any, he turned back to the others and finished explaining what Sammy had started.

"Each dialect on Atlantis is, _was_ , more like an alteration to the official language, different from town to town, unique in its own ways. In our region, this symbol stands for 'next', 'future' or even 'soon'. Good job for noticing it, Sammy!"

The young boy smiled sheepishly at him, scratching the back of his head.

"Lucy will be _so_ proud of you!" Jijii said as she ruffled his hair, a proud expression on her face.

"You think?" he beamed.

"Duh, of course, she will! She's one hell of a proud mama already and, after all, she addressed her message to you, didn't she? She knew her Scarlet Boy could decipher it!"

"Her pride will beam like the brightest sun in everyone's mind, you'll see," Tori assured, hugging the young boy. "We'll get her back and it'll be thanks to you."

"Yes, good job, Sam!" Hazel cheered. "Now let's go rescue the Captain!"

Both paladins and crew smiled at Hazel's words and turned to Allura and Jijii.

"What do we do now, Princess?"

"We must reach someone on Balmera and try to warn them of Lotor's intentions and from there we'll start thinking of our plan. If Lotor plans to attack Balmera using Lucy's illusions then it's safe to say we can beat him at his own game."

"What do you mean?" Matt was confused, they hadn't been able to fight him until now, knowing his location wouldn't change a thing other than the fact they could try to plan an ambush. Unless… "Of course! The illusions! They won't work if the real Voltron is here at the same time as the fake one! The illusion will collapse!"

"Exactly," Allura confirmed. "I see you're well aware of Atlantean powers and how they work."

"Well, I had a great teacher. And by that, I mean Daleen, of course. Her son didn't really inherit her pedagogic skills."

Eurwyn rolled his eyes. "Whatever. How can we reach the Balmerans? Do you know someone there? The Alliance doesn't have any base there."

"I could try and call Shay," Hunk proposed. "I'm pretty sure the time zones aren't working against us for once. She should be awake. Maybe she'll accept to answer."

"I hope so too, and I suggest you try it right away."

"On my way, Princess!"

Hunk exited the room, already catching the phone in his pocket before he reached the door. When he came back in a few minutes later, the conversations stopped right away, waiting for his information. The twitching of his fingers wasn't announcing anything good.

Lance stepped forward. "What is it, buddy?"

Hunk didn't really know how to announce such news, he hadn't really expected Shay to pick up and listen to him. But she did and he had managed to explain to her what Lotor had done and why he was able to manipulate everyone's mind. Their call didn't end there, however, as it turned out that she, as well, had had something to tell him. Now it was his job to tell the others. Hunk knew for sure that the crew wasn't going to like this. _At all._ The fact that both Kolivan and Lucy's parents had now joined the group as well wasn't playing in his favor either.

"I have good and bad news."

"Oh?"

"The good news is that Shay told me that Lotor will indeed be on Balmera soon."

"Great! That's great, we can plan from here then."

"But that's not really for the crystals that he'll come there. Or if he is, Shay isn't aware of it."

"For what, then?" Keith asked. "And why does Shay know about Lotor's arrival? If he goes to Balmera to attack it like he did with the other planets, shouldn't it still be a secret?"

"Yeah, well, that's where the bad news lies."

Hunk shifted on his feet once more, looking at the different pirates who stood in front of him. Jijii, the substitute captain. Sammy, the Scarlet Boy, sitting on a very ferocious hellhound's back. Ash, the cook who knew how to fight just as much as she nailed her pancakes. Aria, Cosmo, Lo, Tori… Most of them were unarmed but he knew they didn't need their weapons to do some pretty nasty damage and that even someone like Makara who always acted like the kindest person was to be feared.

"Go on Paladin, tell us!"

"What is it?"

He gulped, hoping they weren't going to lash on him at the news. After all, he was only the messenger. It wasn't his fault if Lotor always found ways to surprise them in the worst ways possible.

"Can you please sit first? I don't-"

"We don't need to. Whatever you have to say, say it now and say it quick."

Hunk remembered Shay's words and tried to bring the news as softly as he could.

"Lotor will be here on Balmera in two days for an official visit and he plans to show his strength and his ties with the people who fought against the tyranny of his father's reign. A ceremony is to be held."

"What kind of ceremony?" Elden asked.

"A wedding. He's… He's gonna marry, Lucy."

"What?!" Daleen and Eurwyn both shouted in unison, their attention suddenly triggered by what Hunk had just said.

"Cosmo, grab your acid bottles we're up to fuck up the prince's face." The dark and serious glare Hunk could see in Jijii's eyes was truly terrifying.

"Hunk, did Shay tell you anything else? Maybe she had some information on the organization and everything? Anything to get us started on our plan." Elden's voice was smooth and composed but the glint in his dark green eyes betrayed the wrath that was hiding behind his legendary calm appearance.

"Better!" Hunk got closer to the others and opened something on his screen. A small outline of Shay's village suddenly appeared in front of their eyes. "Shay actually got her hands on the 'wedding planner''s file. And she sent them to me. We know exactly where Lotor will make his speech, announcing the news. The speech and ceremony are also to be transmitted all around the Empire."

"Great." Hunk eyed at Jijii, an unreadable mask was back on her face as her eyes scanned the map. "Here's what we gonna do."

"What, you already have a plan?" Tori asked, bewildered.

"Of course, I do. There's a reason I'm Lucy's lieutenant, come on."

"Yeah, right." Tori didn't look convinced.

"First of all, I'll only be taking nine of you with me."

"What? Only nine!?" Tori shrieked.

"Yes, only nine. I defended one of Atlantis' moon with less men than that so don't look at me like this, I know what I'm doing. You wanted me to act like a Captain, well I am now. So, stop interrupting me and listen."

Tori huffed but crossed her arms over her chest, listening. The Kyras looked at each other in disbelief but the three of them remained silent. Allura, however, wasn't as determined to keep her mouth shut and stepped forward. "You aren't gonna ask us to stay behind, are you?"

"This is exactly what you are going to do, Princess." Jijii confirmed, never leaving her eyes from Hunk's plan as she zoomed in on one of the streets.

"You can't seriously be thinking straight. We're talking of rescuing your friend here and facing Lotor!"

"Yes, exactly." Jijii finally looked up at Allura. "This is a rescue mission. Not a battlefield. We need to be discreet and efficient. And, like I said, I'll only be taking a few of my men. Not only do we have more experience in the matter that you and the paladins do, but Merryn can't teleport as many people as she wants. A dozen is as far as it can go and we don't want to tire her out. Besides, she'll be fighting with us, which will also have its toll on her energy. I don't want to risk anything, and so, only nine of you will come with me."

Hunk's miniaturized map appeared on the bigger screen and Jijii kept on going with her explanations.

"Voltron will have to stay away from the scenery, Princess. Or do I need to remind you that your dear mighty robot is everyone's enemy? What would people think, when they see on their screen, the once legendary defender, attacking the Balmera, attacking such a peaceful planet, such a peaceful event as a so-called wedding? We're the only one who actually know that Lucy is his prisoner. That all he has said so far, is a big giant lie. The citizens of the Empire don't. It will only help Lotor's version if Voltron attacks."

Allura bit her lips. She hadn't thought of that version of the story yet. Voltron would be efficient to end the mission fast but they needed it to be flawless and not to actually play in Lotor's favor. She let Jijii go on with her thoughts.

"You, Princess, will remain in the Castle with Coran as aerial support. I'm sure you have some cloaking device on that giant ship of yours that would allow you to approach without being noticed. Like I said, Balmera is a peaceful planet and Lotor can't possibly arrive with his entire army and usual set up if he doesn't want people to think there's something amiss. They won't be far, but they won't be there right away. This is why we have to be quick."

Allura and Coran nodded.

"Like you mentioned earlier, Princess, the illusion created by Lucy's power won't work if the real Voltron is here. So, if, and only if, they were to use it while we're there, the Lions will step in in order for the illusion to collapse."

"Right," Shiro agreed. "We'll stay put until you say so, Captain."

Jijii turned back to the few members of the crew standing behind her. "Lo, you can't come either. We can't risk losing you when your medical skills will surely be needed once we get Lucy back."

The scientist nodded reluctantly. She understood Jijii's strategy and knew it was the right thing to do, but she hated the idea of not being able to help right away. Nonetheless, she had her own mission and her comrades had theirs - the only thing that mattered was that Lucy came back home safe and sound by the end of the day.

"Same for you Hazel, you'll remain on Scarlet Kaida with Aeris and the aerial units. You'll be my eyes. I can't command from both the ground and the sky. I'll leave that up to you."

"You can count on me," Hazel assured with a firm voice.

"Good. Besides, you'll be our plan B in case Lotor manages to run away with Lucy. He isn't like his father, we've said that many times. And thus, he knows when to stop, he doesn't care about winning every battle. He'll want to get away with Lucy as fast as he can. And you'll follow after him if he does so."

"Right."

"Lotor will, with no doubt, be escorted by his generals. Those strong soldiers are fierce and for what we've seen on the footage from our attack on Zarkon's headquarter, they aren't to be underestimated. Our job isn't to defeat them right away but to retrieve Lucy. We must gain time. As soon as we have her, we rush back to Merryn and we get the hell out of there. Am I making myself clear?"

"Crystal."

Merryn barked happily at the mention of her name, knowing that once more, her skills were going to be useful in battle.

"Revenge will come, but not this time. Not yet." Jijii paused and went on, smirking. "Lotor has strong warriors but so do we. Aria. Ash. Tori. I count on you three to show them what you awesome ladies can do."

"Hell yes!"

"Cosmo? You better have your best weapons ready 'cause Lotor will have a taste of his own medicine. This time, he'll be the one falling in our trap."

The engineer smirked, blue pupils shining with anticipation and excitement.

"Daleen, Eurwyn, the two of you will be of the party as well. I can't ask you to stay put when your family's safety is in the balance, but most importantly, we'll need your powers to break down Lucy's jailor spell. Eurwyn entered her mind already, and I don't think two mind readers will be too much to face that."

"That'll be just great," Daleen smiled. "You can count on me to kick that bastard out of my daughter's brain."

"Good. Elden, Matt, you'll be in charge of their protection. Surely, they can't be both in Lucy's mind and defending themselves in the meantime."

"Indeed," Elden nodded.

"Don't worry, Eurwyn," Matt joked. "I'll save your ass, like I always do. Won't change from the usual."

Eurwyn rolled his eyes but his annoyed huff didn't erase the slight smile that formed at the corner of his lips.

Jijii's smaller silhouette eyed at Kolivan. The Galra soldier shook his head. "You better not ask me to stay behind. Because I won't."

"Of course, I'm not big boy," Jijii grinned. "You're just as family as those three are to Luce. Besides, have you seen the size of Lotor's generals? They're all Galra and share your towering genetics. I'm not gonna deny your usefulness in that battle, trust me."

"Great. Then when do we leave?"

Jijii turned once more to the Yellow Paladin. "Hunk, did Shay gave you anymore detail as to when Lotor will arrive?"

"Yes, I don't know how old those images from Lucy's cell are but Shay told me he's coming in two days on Balmera during the first hour of the afternoon. Which is tomorrow for us."

"Good. Then we must not lose time, we have to be there before Lotor set foot on Balmera."

The group split and everyone went back to their own quarters, getting ready for the mission that would occur the next day.

/

Sammy stared at the pictures sprawled on the floor. He didn't really know where the urge had come from for him to take that box from the shelves but in the empty room that had become the children's bay, they were the only company he could get.

His fingers trailed over the details in the pictures. The sun. The ocean…

His lips trembled. Lucy was smiling bright on that picture, water dripping from her hair as she hugged tight Merryn, whose fur was covered in wet sand. Lucy's freckles were showing even more than usual because of the sun. She was happy…

A sob escaped his lips and he realized at that moment why he really wanted to see those pictures.

He didn't need them to remember that day. He recalled it perfectly. Who wouldn't remember such a perfect birthday, anyway? He was seven at the time and Lucy had decided to sneak out for the day so they could celebrate. They had spent the day at the beach, playing in the water and having fun. Cosmo had taught him how to roast marshmallows, soft and squishy candies from his planet, and Lucy had learnt she didn't like them at all. Which made more for him and Cosmo to devour. Meanwhile, Jijii was doodling in her notebooks as Merryn tried to drag Lucy back into the water.

He didn't need the pictures to remember that day but to remember Lucy's smile. He wanted to erase the images he had seen. He had acted all tough in front of the others earlier but recalling the footage from the cell sent shivers down his spine. He didn't want to associate her name with a curled-up silhouette in a bright room.

Lucy wasn't shivers and tears. She was smiles and warm hugs. She was stupid puns and sleepy eyes. She was hot chocolate and milk whiskers. She was late night stories and tales of ancient worlds.

She was Mama Lu.

She was Home.

And he missed her terribly.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he hugged his knees.

He wanted this nightmare to be over. He wanted to play with her again. He wanted her to tuck him in bed at night. He wanted to draw beside her. He wanted to go back to times when things were easier, when he was too young to notice everything bad around him. He wanted to go back to times when the war wasn't part of their lives. He wanted to go back to times when Deandra was still alive and Lucy was still with them. When-

"Sammy?"

Sammy rushed a hand over his eyes and turned back. Jijii's worried eyes stared back at him.

"Sammy, what is it, darling?" she said as she quickly walked into the room, Merryn on her trail.

"Nothing." he lied. He didn't want to bother her with this now. She had more important things to attend to.

Jijii looked at all the pictures on the floor and a soft smile spread across her lips. She sat next to him as Merryn did the same, head resting next to his legs. "Rule number one?"

Another sob broke past Sammy's lips and he shook his head vividly and crushed into her open arms. Tears rolled down his cheeks once more.

"It's okay to cry, Sam," she said as she rubbed his back. "You'll feel better afterward."

"I miss her," he mumbled, words muffled by his tears.

"I know… I miss her too…"

"I want her to be back home with us. I want to hear her voice again. I want us to be together again."

"Don't worry, Sammy," she whispered, kissing the top of his head. "She'll be back soon. Tomorrow she'll be the one hugging you, I promise."

Sammy hiccupped and tried to stop the tears from falling. He couldn't. It was like a dam had breached in his heart and nothing seemed to be under his control anymore. He couldn't help but cry, couldn't help but think of all the happy memories he shared with Lucy and the others and how he wished for more. It couldn't stop now. He didn't want to lose her now. He had lost all his family once, and even if he was too young to remember it, he didn't want it to happen again. He didn't want to lose Lucy but most importantly, he wanted her to leave that terrible place. His sobs intensified at the thought of her cell.

Another hand, bigger than Jijii's, settled on his shoulder.

Sammy tilted his head and met Cosmo's concerned eyes. Sammy hadn't even noticed that Merryn had vanished from the room in order to go look for him. He hadn't heard them coming in either but he couldn't care less. He was glad he was here too and he pulled him in. But even if Cosmo, Jijii, and Merryn were there, a piece of the puzzle was still missing.

"Lucy always comes back home, remember? And soon, the five of us will be together again." Jijii assured.

"You promise?" He hated the quiver in his voice.

"I do. We both do."

Cosmo nodded, ruffling his hair softly.

"Will you stay with me, tonight?" he asked weakly.

"Just like in the old times?"

"Yes… I don't wanna be alone…"

"We won't leave you Sammy, it's okay." Merryn nudged his shoulder, agreeing with Jijii's statement.

Cosmo picked him up in his arms and the three of them sat on the bed with stars carved on the headrest. Sammy settled between them, Merryn's hot breath tickling against his legs.

A tired smile spread across his lips. Jijii had been right. He felt better now.

"When she's back, I want to do a sleepover and we'll stay up all night watching the stars."

"Deal," Jijii smiled back. "How about you and Makara bake her birthday cake tomorrow, huh? I'm sure she'll love it."

"Cause Lucy never refuses a cake."

" _Never_ ," Cosmo signed before kissing his forehead.

"Sleep tight and dry your tears, Scarlet Boy." Jijii whispered. "Mama Lu will be back soon."

Jijii kissed his cheek and Sammy fell asleep, safely tucked in their warm embrace.

/

The sun basked the street with its early afternoon rays of light. It was still at its zenith and didn't provided any shadows to hide in but it didn't matter to Jijii and the rest of the group, for the crowd was enough of a hiding place. The street was packed with Balmerans, curious to see what was all the set up for. They were all focused on the platform that had been installed in the middle of the street. Plain and simple, only a pulpit had been installed, with the Galra banner hanged upon it.

 _They probably didn't have much time to prepare his arrival_ , Jijii thought, guessing that the Balmerans had probably learned at the last minute that the Emperor was coming to their planet. She wondered if they had any idea of the _great_ announcement he planned to make.

Jijii tsked and analyzed the scenery once more. The platform was as unguarded as it was minimalist and only a few soldiers stood in front of it. A few other sentries were guarding the nearby streets but that was all, their numbers were kept to a minimum. They were all waiting for the Emperor to show up.

All geared up, Ash, Aria and Tori stood beside her. Kolivan, hood drawn over his Galra features, was there too, finger twitching on his belt as he countdowned the time that separated them from attacking. Cosmo and Merryn were a few more rows ahead, standing against one of the buildings. Merryn laid on the ground, blending into the crowd.

No one paid attention to the slightly-larger-than-usual dog sleeping at their feet but even from there, Jijii could see the movement of her ears. Merryn was listening, using her enhanced senses to locate their target. She'd be the first to know when Lucy would arrive.

Cosmo's eyes were focused on the stage in front of them, sharpened swords hidden underneath his cloak and an usual set of grenades attached to his belt. He was juggling one of his smoke bomb when Merryn's ears perked up. Lotor appeared on stage, followed by two sentries. Cosmo didn't listen to the first few words of his speech and tightened his grip on the grenade in his hand. Lucy finally arrived by Lotor's side, accompanied by two soldiers. Cosmo recognized right away the two women warriors they had seen on camera.

In the blink of an eye Merryn teleported them both on one of the balcony that overhang the street and he threw his smoke bomb right in front of the stage. They were both gone before the gas exploded against the ground.

Screams erupted in the crowd.

The team moved at once.

Kolivan pushed forward, followed by Jijii and the three other women. The frightened crowd was trying to flee in the other direction and didn't ease their movements but they kept running straight for the stage. The cloud of smoke wouldn't hold for long and they needed to reach the stage before Lotor and his men had time to flee.

Jijii destroyed the few sentries with her fire and the team climbed on the platform. The two generals jumped on them at once, splitting them apart.

Kolivan rolled on the ground, dodging the attack of the largest. Her strong arms reached for his body once more and Kolivan unsheathed his blade, dodging each of her attacks. A snarl escaped her lips when the blade sliced her cheek. With one swift movement of his legs, Kolivan pushed her off the stage and she rolled a few feet away, crashing against one of the walls. Kolivan jumped after her, readying his stance before she'd be able to knock him off the ground with another of her punch.

Aria bounced on her feet, landing blow after blow. Their opponent was fierce and fast but Ash and Tori managed to dodge most of her attacks. They had trained for years together, and on the battlefield, they were stronger than ever. Tori jumped and punched the woman in the throat as Ash arrived right behind her, her spear knocking off the woman's balance. Aria's dagger dug through her legs but the Galra soldier barely winced. She launched herself at them once more, knocking out Ash.

The blue haired woman rolled on her side and groaned as something grazed her waist. She got back on her feet, holding her side with one hand. Blood staining her shirt. The Galra woman was holding Aria's dagger in her hand. A smirked tugged at her lips before she charged once more.

Jijii ran straight forward, leaving Kolivan and the trio with their own targets as she rushed for Lotor. Everything had happened so fast and him and Lucy were still on stage, surrounded by three soldiers as they headed towards Lotor' ship that was surely waiting for them around the corner.

Jijii unleashed her power and a firewall circled them, keeping them from escaping. The three soldiers ran in her direction, weapons aimed at her. They didn't have time to land another foot on the ground before the fire took them away. They didn't stand a chance against her.

She walked toward her next target, footsteps silent and steady. She was like a snake, ready to jump at her enemy's throat at any moment. But Lotor wasn't the one to charge at her, sword gleaming under the afternoon sunlight.

Lucy was.

On the other side of the street, Merryn landed, coming back with Cosmo on her back and the Kyras on her flank, Matt alongside them. Seeing the chaos that had already erupted in the few seconds he was gone, Cosmo groaned and aimed his bullets at the Galra soldiers that were coming at them. He located Lucy right away and pointed out her silhouette at her parents and brother. Fighting behind a wall of fire that was, without doubt, Jijii's creation, Scarlet Kaida's captain was aiming daggers at her lieutenant.

Daleen and Eurwyn cursed, they needed to act fast. Daleen took Eurwyn's hands and the both of them closed their eyes, trying to focus on Lucy's mind that was raging a few feet away.

Daleen winced, fists tightening. "It's not working… Someone... They're here. Close. I can feel their presence in her mind. They won't let go."

The dark void swallowed Eurwyn once more and he screamed, unable to enter her mind as thousands of memories drowned him again. His eyes shot open and he collapsed on the ground. His head was pounding, haunted by the sight of Lucy's nightmares. Eurwyn pushed his sister's mind away and focused on his surroundings once again. Feeling the tug of people's thoughts around him.

Elden cursed, looking through the crowd. Barely a few minutes had gone by since Cosmo had thrown that smoke bomb in the air and a few dozens of Balmerans remained in the streets, running in every directions, completely panicked as they tried to run away. Elden whipped his head around to the hound.

"Cosmo! If that person is the one controlling Lucy then she must have spent a share amount of time with her, more than the others. Her smell must linger on them more than it does on the other soldiers and generals. Merryn needs to look out for them!"

Cosmo nodded and Merryn howled. The both of them disappeared once again in a mist of dark shadows.

Colors danced in front of Eurwyn's eyes and he froze, feeling the newcomer's presence before they could reach Matt.

"Watch out!"

A woman with light pink skin appeared right in front of them and Matt jumped backward; if not for Eurwyn's warning, he wouldn't have been able to avoid the Galra general's hit. His fingers hovered above his pistol grip but he grabbed his spear instead - he couldn't risk hurting his teammates. The woman's punch landed right in his guts and he rolled on the floor. Eurwyn shot at the woman, and she grinned, running toward him. He did the same and managed to catch her arm. Matt dashed forward, running to help Eurwyn. His dagger grazed the woman's cheek and she snarled back at him, catching his legs and sending him across the street.

Elden held Daleen's arm with one hand and aimed his other at the ground. Soon, roots started to sprout out of the ground and moved under the surface, turning into a trunk, more and more gigantic with every second passing by. Elden gritted his teeth when hearing the grunts of his son, fighting nearby.

"Hurry…" he cursed, staring as the tree grew more and more, protecting Daleen from harm. A few seconds later, she was up, a couple meters above the ground, protected by the thick layer of braided oak and walnut bark. Her eyes were still close, focused on their daughter's mind. Knowing she'd be safe for now, Elden turned back toward the boys. The roots burst out of the ground and caught the pink warrior midair.

Daleen breathed in, trying to focus as hard as she could on her daughter's mind. She couldn't think of her husband, couldn't think of her son, couldn't think of Matt, couldn't think of the paladins, of the crew, who were waiting to step into battle if they raised the alarm, couldn't think of the rest of the group that was just as much in trouble as her family was. They all counted on her. It was all going to stop as soon as she manage to do her part. But it was harder than she would have thought.

Whoever had control over Lucy kept her conscience locked away somewhere far into her mind. Daleen just needed to find it. And in order to do so, she needed to push through and fight against the nightmares that galloped all around her.

 _The nightmare will be over soon, darling. Please… Answer me._

Daleen's heart ached at the thought that most of the horrendous images that surrounded her were memories. Their deafening silence had replaced the sound of the battlefield and Daleen couldn't hear the shouts outside of her wooden cocoon anymore.

Something suddenly caught her attention. Somewhere in the middle of the whirlwind that had become her daughter's mind, something gleamed brighter. A different kind of memory. Distant, but warm, and treasured. Daleen smiled at the nostalgia and love that emanated from that special memory. She had finally found what she was looking for. She called out for her daughter and reached for the golden cage in which her conscience had been locked away.

As soon as she got closer to it, however, Daleen felt the weird sensation tug at her mind once more. The presence was here again and the golden beacon was tangled in a giant net.

Illusions and nightmares blended with reality.

Cosmo could feel the movement of Merryn's muscles against his legs as she ran, aiming fireballs at any soldiers that dared approaching them. She stopped dead in her tracks and Cosmo would have fallen from her back, hadn't he been used to work with Merryn. His fingers grasped her fur and he steadied himself once more.

A woman was in front of them, hood drawn over her head, a long lizard-like tail moved behind her. A black cat sat on her shoulders, its tail looped around the soldier's neck.

Merryn growled.

 _Come on, Merryn, it isn't time for your phobia to kick in…_

But as Merryn stepped forward, Cosmo understood that she wasn't growling at the cat, but at the woman. _She_ was the threat. She was the one who controlled Lucy.

Cosmo unsheathed his swords. Fire built in Merryn's throat. Cosmo tightened his legs on her flanks and she jumped, fire raging in her trail. The woman flipped backward, landing on her feet a few meters away. Her hood fell and as Cosmo realized her missing eyes, he understood something else. The cat wasn't only a pet or a companion but just as much of a battlefield partner as Merryn was to him. The cat was her eyes and he needed to get rid of it if he wanted to eliminate her quickly.

"Cosmo!" He whipped his head around. "Cosmo, get the hell outta here!"

Cosmo barely had the time to register Jijii's warning that Lucy was already charging in his direction. A spear materialized itself in her hand and, like a javelin, she threw it in his direction. Merryn, too focused on the Galra woman, heard Lucy's footsteps at the last second and vanished in mid-air.

The hound appeared again a few meters away, panting. Cosmo fell from her back and crashed on the ground, blood cascading from his wounded shoulder. His teeth sank in his lips as pain burst through him.

 _A gunshot._

 _A thud._

Cosmo's eyes went wide at Merryn's plaintive cry.

The woman appeared in his peripheral view once again. Her tail yanked him off the ground and wrapped itself around his throat, choking him.

 _She dug her feet into the warm sand, chaos surrounding her. She wanted to cry at the sight; their little bubble of paradise had shattered in pieces completely. Sea spray brushed her face as she launched herself at the hooded silhouette again. She could hear the cries of the young child nearby._

 _ **I'll protect you. I'll protect all of you. Always.**_

 _Today was their day, his birthday, how dared them attack today? She didn't know what they wanted, but she couldn't care less, determined to protect her little family from harm. She picked up a sword on the ground and lashed out. The blade clashed against her opponent's and she pushed against it, cursing after the dry sand that slowed down her movements._

 _A voice called out for her and she whipped her head around, looking at the camp she was trying to defend. A woman stood there and her familiar features eased her mind instantly. Worries vanished from her thoughts. Her shoulders relaxed. She didn't know why but she had the sudden urge to rush to the woman's embrace and take the hand she was extending toward her. The shadows seemed to fade now that she was here. She felt safe. She wondered what that feeling that overwhelmed her at her sight was._

 _In a trance-like state, she walked toward her._

 _The woman smiled._

 _But all impression of safety disappeared as fire brushed her. Sand flew in the air and she shut her eyes, covering her face with her hands. A growled escaped her throat and she forgot all about the smiling woman and turned back to the battlefield and to the new silhouette that was rushing toward her._

 _The bushes caught fire._

 _They wanted to hurt her. They wanted to hurt her family._

 _She needed to get rid of them definitely._

 _ **I'll protect you. I'll protect all of you. Always.**_

 _She shouted once more and created a new weapon in her hand. The dagger turned into a sharped and gleaming spear. She threw it into the air, aiming for the newcomer's chest._

 _She never missed her targets._

 _Both the cloaked silhouette behind her and the smiling woman shouted at the sight._

 _Nausea overtook her. Her head started to spin. Fear overwhelmed her._

Jijii spun and dodged Lotor's attack, her sword smashing against Lucy's.

Wrath built inside her at every attack. She hated it. She hated Lotor with every fiber of her being and hated to see Lucy that way. She couldn't care less that Lucy was aiming her attacks at her, no matter how many times she would hit her, Jijii wouldn't keep any visible wounds from that fight - it was in moments like this that her genetics proved themselves useful.

She struck once more. Lucy's sword clattered on the ground. And instead of picking it up or creating a new weapon like she had done in the past minute, Lucy turned her back to her and stared at the other end of the street. Her head tilted to the side.

Jijii could only guess that she was looking in Daleen's direction and she hoped it was a good sign. Hoped that Daleen had finally managed to reach her. Hoped that, soon, Lucy's nightmare would be over. Because even if neither her nor Lucy would keep scars from that fight, Jijii knew Lucy was never going to recover from it. If her nightmares weren't going to keep her awake at night, the blame would. Blame and guilt had always been her worst demons.

Jijii gritted her teeth and turned her anger back at Lotor. He was responsible. He always had been. He had captured her and had forced her to use her powers. He had taken away her free will. He had taken her away from her home not only once, but twice. He had destroyed Atlantis. He had thrown her into the Arena when she was barely but a child.

 _She's still a child for fuck's sake!_

Jijii's feet landed in Lotor's stomach and he staggered back. Seeing that one of Merryn's stray fireball was arriving toward them, she redirected it at the prince's face, feeding on the rage that was building inside her. She knew the aim of the mission was to gain time and get Lucy back, that they'd take care of him later. She knew it, but it didn't keep her from wanting to hurt him now. The bastard would pay for what he had done to her. For what he and his father were responsible for.

The fire grazed Lucy's arm. She jolted, as if woken up from a dream, and her fists tightened. But when Jijii expected her to turn back to her and attack her all over again, Lucy's head slowly turned to Cosmo's and Merryn's direction instead. The two were still fighting against one of the generals and it seemed that Lucy had made them her new targets.

She zeroed in on them.

Lotor smirked.

Jijii cursed and pushed against Lotor once more, creating a wall of fire in front of him to hold him back for a few seconds. She ran after Lucy, shouting for her to stop. She screamed at Cosmo. A spear appeared in Lucy's hand. Jijii barely had the time to process the information that Lucy had already thrown her weapon at him.

Everything happened all at once.

Merryn's head perked up and she jolted to the side, disappearing at the last second.

Jijii didn't want to try and think what the hound was thinking of the situation. Lucy had attacked her and Merryn had probably no idea of what was really happening. Lucy was never going to forgive herself.

The hound reappeared a few meters away and Cosmo crashed on the ground, crimson blood staining his shirt. In his attempt to prevent his imminent death by skewer, he had shifted on the side and the shock of the teleportation had made him lose his balance definitely. Jijii breathed in, relieved. Merryn had managed to jump in time for him not to get hurt too badly. He'd have been killed on spot if she hadn't.

Lotor's general moved again, picked a fallen soldier's gun on the floor and shot at Merryn. She cried out in pain, knees falling to the ground. The woman turned back to Cosmo. He was still on the ground.

Jijii needed to help him, wanted to go and check on Merryn but she also needed to keep Lucy from hurting anyone else.

Lucy was still as a statue, arms fallen to her side like a lifeless muppet. Jijii called out to her. Lucy didn't budge and her eyes kept staring into space. Dull and empty.

Lotor, however, was back in the game and charged once more, running to grab Lucy again. Fire spread on the ground and rose between them, protecting Lucy.

Merryn howled and Jijii realized with horror that Lotor's general had now managed to get her hands on Cosmo. The Galra tightened the grip of her tail around the engineer's throat and he choked, gasping for air.

She couldn't have make a bigger mistake.

Jijii glanced at Merryn. The hound had always been protective of the crew but the general had made a huge mistake in threatening Cosmo's life in front of Merryn. For sure she couldn't know that Merryn considered the three of them as her family. She couldn't know that they were the closest thing to parents Merryn ever had. That, along with Jijii and Lucy, Cosmo had raised her, trained her, saved her, and that there was no way Merryn would allow anyone to hurt him.

She couldn't know that it was the mistake that would cost her her life.

Kolivan looked up when he heard Jijii's shout and Merryn's whimper. He finally managed to knock the general unconscious and ran to the platform, ready to rescue the young engineer from the Galra's deathly grip. Merryn was faster than him, however, and Kolivan stopped dead in his track at the sight.

Ignoring her injury, Merryn sprang to her feet, flames erupting from her body. Her size increased and she vanished, appearing barely a second after, right behind the Galra woman, fangs out. The hound unleashed her power on the general and yanked her away from Cosmo.

The lifeless body crashed to the ground a few meters away.

Kolivan could see the wrath and bloodlust that burned in her ruby eyes from where he stood. Merryn stepped forward, growling. Kolivan had never seen her like that - Lotor's general had awaken the fury that slept in her and had paid the hardest price for it.

Kolivan hadn't been the only one to freeze at the sight. Everyone seemed to have stopped moving, barely daring to breathe in case the hound's rage would turn to them. Everyone but Jijii. She whistled and stared at the hound, shaking her head slowly. Merryn stopped moving. Flames died on the hound's tail and she trotted back to Cosmo, size shrinking back to her usual height. The remaining Galra soldiers stared at the hound with a mixture of awe and horror in their eyes as she nuzzled her head against the engineer's cheek - as if nothing had ever happened.

A whimper escaped Lucy's lips and she dropped to the ground, unconscious.

Kolivan stopped staring at the hound and dashed forward, only understanding now who the fallen Galra general had benn. She had been the one controlling Lucy. And now that the puppeteer was gone, Lucy was free.

Jijii bolted on her feet and blocked Lotor's way. She saw Kolivan arrive behind her and as soon as he pick Lucy from the ground, she pushed away from Lotor.

"Girls! Time to go!" Jijii shouted at Aria and the others as she jumped from the platform, running after Kolivan. Before Lotor could do anything, she grabbed two grenades on her belt.

Lotor screamed when the content of the first one hit his face.

They were long gone when the fog from the second one cleared up.


	21. What do you want for dinner? Potatoes?

**SK21 : She's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face**

(when titles are too long for the website to accept them:/)

Lucy's eyelids fluttered and as she awoke, her panic did the same. What traitorous tricks had Lotor played on her while she was gone? She could feel it now. She was herself. Which almost felt weird after so many weeks of being in and out of it. She didn't remember much of what had happened since the last time she was conscious but she didn't fight against the memories this time. She had gotten used to it, she knew the memories would come back, one way or another, with always the same and only task: haunt her.

Whether they were ten years or one day old, Lotor always found ways to turn them against her.

But when she expected the blinding light of her cell and her never-ending headache to welcome her out of her slumber, the silence, only broken by light snores, did. Her blood froze in her veins as another kind of dread overwhelmed her.

She could feel the warm blanket on her body, the pillow under her head. Her room never had one before nor did it have a mattress to sleep on. The word 'betrothed' suddenly flashed inside her mind and she almost jumped from the disgust it inspired her. She suddenly found herself hoping that she didn't need to add rapist to the long list of reasons why she hated Lotor.

Her fingers twitched under the covers.

Fool.

If he expected her to turn into the ultimate puppet now that he had probably made her his in front of millions of people to convince them of his great intentions, then he was wrong. Terribly wrong. Quite the contrary, she was going to jump on the occasion. Narti was gone from her mind and she couldn't feel her shadow presence in her head. Now was her time to strike. Her fingers twitched once more, grasping for an illusion she couldn't yet muster. She was still exhausted from whatever battle she had fought. A battle she had never wished for.

Her fingers finally clung against something. Thin and sharp, the blade moved between her fingers.

 _Not my best work, but it'll have to do. Now is not the time to miss your target, girl._

Her eyes shot open and she jumped from her bed, aiming for her enemy's throat. Whoever had had the foolishness to fall asleep beside her wasn't going to live to tell the story. However, the Galra's sixth sense warned them first and they jolted against the wall. Lucy was too small for them now, too far to strike the deathly blow. When her eyes finally met the Galra's eyes, however, her arms fell to her side.

The man standing in front of her wasn't Lotor nor one of his scary generals.

Her voice broke in front of his smile.

"Kolivan?"

"Morning, Scarlet."

But his friendly smile did nothing but increase her panic. Maybe Narti had gotten better at hiding herself behind her visions? Maybe it was yet another illusion, ready to turn into a dreadful nightmare at any moment? Who was going to die this time? Who were they going to threaten so she'd stay put for another couple of hours? Which demons would come back from the locked corner of her mind?

Lucy struggled against her groggy state. Sleep couldn't be the only reason behind it. Medicines maybe, another drug or an updated version of their magic kryptonite. Fear and dread spread through her veins once more. She didn't want to sleep again. She didn't want to be unconscious for another unknown amount of time. She didn't want to let Lotor and his gang do as he pleased with her powers. The blade had been too far from the Galra throat but she could still aim it at herself instead. She wouldn't let him use her power again. Not ever.

Kolivan was at loss for words in front of her, trying to find the good ones that would convince her that all she was seeing was real. But none of his kind statement would work. How many of Narti's ghosts had already tried? How many of them had she already believed, only to be proven wrong afterward? How many of her nightmares hadn't end up with her crying as she woke up, but screaming at the gaping hole inside her chest? How many times had she yearned to be back home, safe and sound with her friends? How many times had Narti turned those hopeless wishes against her?

Too many times to count.

Lucy wanted to believe him, wanted to believe his words, wanted to believe that she was, indeed, safe and sound. That there wasn't anything to fear anymore. That everything would be alright. She wanted to believe that. But as sweet as those lies were, who would be the fool of the story if she was to do so?

Lucy looked at Kolivan once more.

He even had a new set of scars on his eyebrow.

 _Really digging into the hurtful details, aren't you, Narti?_

Everything in the room, from the peaceful light coming through the pulled down blind to the fresh flowers on the table, were begging her to feel safe. But it felt all too perfect and even if the room was closer to a peaceful bedroom than her bright cell, she couldn't fall into the trap. Besides, the flowers - her favorites - only grew on Atlantis. They shouldn't be there when she had allowed the planet to be blown apart.

She felt a familiar presence in the room and she suddenly questioned her convictions once again.

Narti had given up long ago on creating her ghost in Lucy's dreams as she couldn't master the perfect illusions. Narti knew what Galra minds were like, knew how humans responded to illusions and she had read files about Lucy's past, but she had never met a hellhound before.

Lucy's makeshift weapon disappeared before it even hit the ground as Merryn shoved her to the floor, licking her cheek and nudging her head happily.

No screams erupted in the rooms as Lucy locked her arms around Merryn's neck. The scenery didn't shift into another nightmarish vision and Lucy allowed herself to hope. She hadn't realized how much she had missed her. If Merryn was here then there was nothing to fear. No one could hurt her, they were both invincible. A painful wounded cry, that seemed to be coming straight from her foggy memories, echoed in her mind but she ignored it, quickly shoving it away as she dug her fingers into the softness of Merryn's fur.

 _She is real. She is real. She is real._

Lucy could feel Merryn's hot breath against her neck, could hear the happy sounds coming out of her throat, or see the happiness radiating off of her. She couldn't be an illusion, could she? Lucy put her head against the hound's neck, feeling under her cheek, the strong pulse of Merryn's heartbeat. Even if it was an illusion, Lucy didn't care anymore, she didn't want to let go.

"Morning, Fire Pup," she smiled, caressing her ears.

Merryn barked happily at the nickname, wagging her tail.

Lucy wondered if Merryn had missed her too. How long had gone by since the last time they had seen each other? Merryn had been fighting at Jijii's side during the battle at Central Command.

Central Command. D-Day. Lotor. Alan.

It all felt so far away and yet so close.

Much like a geyser ready to breach the surface, she felt the emotions rushing toward her and she slammed the door shut. There was no time for that. Not yet. She couldn't let those resurface. It would be like handing another set of brand new toys to Narti only for her to break them the second she'd have them in her hands. Twisting it and checking its limits. Except Lucy had never liked playing the part of the tortured doll.

Lucy looked up at Kolivan, shoving from her eyes the happy tears she hadn't realized she had shed.

The man was smiling down at them.

 _Maybe it's not an illusion,_ she thought, struck by the sight. _Maybe Narti has nothing to do with it and I'm just dreaming. Imagination's always made up some crazy stuff after all._

Even after all she had seen, a smiling Kolivan was still something that managed to surprise her.

She blinked and tried to focus back on the matter at hand and what Merryn's presence suggested.

"If Merryn… And you… What about the others? Where are they? Where are we? When did-"

"Calm down, Lucy. One question at a time."

"But-"

Kolivan chuckled.

A dream. It was all a dream. It couldn't be anything else. A smile and now small laughter? How could it be real? Surely that was either Narti or her own mind playing with her. Kolivan wasn't known as a cold-hearted leader for anything. Even if Lucy had seen through the man's defense, such a display of emotions coming from him was too good to be true.

But even if it was only a dream, Lucy hadn't had such a wonderful one in ages and she smiled back at him, taking the hand he extended at her.

When she felt his fingers around hers and his strong and steady grip on her arm, she felt the rush of emotions in her throat once more. He was still here. He hadn't vanished in a whirlwind of smoke or hadn't turned to ashes under her touch. He was still here.

"You're here… You're really here…" he repeated, bewildered.

"Of course, I am," he said, his tone softer than she had ever heard.

He waited for her to move first before he did anything as a simple step toward the door -as if she was a frightened animal, ready to bite at any minute.

Images flashed in front of her eyes once more as she recalled Merryn, retreated in the corner of her dark cell, her big red ruby eyes narrowed and filled with fear, gleaming like two distress signals into the night. A frightened soul, broken too many times to count and melt into a mold she was never meant for.

 _Maybe there's some resemblance indeed. It's true that I've already put a blade against his throat, today._

Lucy couldn't resist the urge and threw her arms around Kolivan. She felt him jolt with surprise but his hand eventually rested against her shoulder, allowing her to remain where she stood for as long as she felt the need to.

"You're safe, Lucy, there's nothing to fear now," he assured her, patting her pack.

"Thanks… Dad." she teased, feeling herself smile at the nickname; Kolivan had always hated it.

"You might want to stop calling me that," he chuckled again.

"Never." She smiled. "You're the Dad of Marmora. The nickname fits perfectly and you love it. Drop the lies."

Kolivan rolled his eyes. "Glad to see you're rested enough to start your annoying games again."

It was Lucy's turn to chuckle proudly.

"However, I don't think the Blade isn't as in need of a dad as it used to be."

"What do you mean?" Lucy's worries overwhelmed her once again, their cold bite feeling like an icy shower. Anything but pleasant.

But Kolivan dodged her question with his arm as if it was an annoying fly buzzing beside his ear. "Nothing for you to worry about. Wouldn't you like to see the others, first?"

Tricky questions. He knew she did.

Lucy held onto his arm as they exited the room, still unsure whether she should trust her footings or not. She felt as she was going to faint any minute but Merryn's reassuring presence next to her gave her the strength she needed to keep walking. The fire that sparkled against her fur eased her thoughts.

They crossed a few closed doors in the corridors but Kolivan never stopped in front of any of them. Lucy still didn't recognize the place but she guessed they were in some kind of hidden base of the Blade. Her brain refused to think beyond the most obvious options. She didn't know if it was still due to her sleepy state or rather the denial that ruled every breath she took. She was still too scared it would disappear in front of her if she asked too many questions. If she analyzed too deep the smallest details.

Lucy didn't want the dream to end and so she remained silent, following after Kolivan down a flight of stairs. Merryn didn't bother climbing them down and reappeared at the bottom, barking excitedly. The conversations Lucy could hear from there stopped at Merryn's entrance and Lucy hesitated in the stairs.

Maybe this is it.

Maybe the dream would stop its happy shower now and smiles weren't going to welcome her. Maybe swords or blasters would. Like they always did.

Kolivan looked at her and squeezed her fingers. "It's fine, Lucy. Everything is fine."

Kolivan moved forward and finally stepped into the room.

"Guess who's awake?" he smiled once more, at the people in the room this time.

Lucy felt like a child again, trying to hide behind the hem of her mother's dress in front of a staring crowd.

But she wasn't a child anymore and Kolivan wasn't wearing a dress - though she was pretty sure it would suit him really well.

 _I wonder what colors would suit him the most._

Lucy blinked the thought away, trying to focus back on the room.

The light was brighter than in the corridor and almost kept her from keeping her eyes open. When her eyes were finally used to the sunlight, however, another gasp escaped her lips and tears gathered in her eyes. She could feel her legs wobbling under her weight. If it wasn't for Kolivan's steady grip on her arm, she knew she'd fallen on the floor already.

Enemies weren't sitting on the chairs or pacing across the room anxiously. Her friends were. Her crew was here, staring in shock at her as if time had stopped.

 _Aeris, Cosmo, Hazel, Jijii, Makara… They're here… They're all here… They're fine…_

If it was indeed all a dream, the backlash would be even harder than the nightmares of the past.

Jijii was the first one to move, red cape flowing behind her as she stomped forward. Kolivan let go of Lucy's arm as Jijii got closer, knowing she was the only support Lucy really needed. Lucy smiled softly at her lieutenant, relief washing over her as she took her tired facial features in.

 _Jijii is safe. Jijii is alive. Everything will be okay._

But when her lieutenant and best friend finally reached her, she didn't take her into her warm embrace, didn't took her hand like Kolivan did nor did she smiled back. Her face remained unreadable and before Lucy could muster any words, Jijii's closed fist landed right into her nose.

Lucy staggered back, holding her nose as she fell back into Kolivan's arms.

"Jijii, what the hell?!" he roared.

But before Jijii could make another step toward Lucy, roots pinned her to the wall. They crumbled to the ground, almost instantly, unable to resist past the element of surprise against Jijii's fire.

Lucy gawked at the blood, staring at it as if it was the first time she saw the black liquid, dripping from her nose. She touched her nose once more, completely lost and confused at what had just happened.

Her eyes met Jijii's stare again. She was breathing heavily, seething with anger.

"You really punched me in the face, bitch," Lucy stated, still bewildered as she wiped away the thick blackness from her face, getting back on her feet.

"You tricked me and used your power on me!" Jijii shouted.

"I was trying to warn you, I was trying to save you!" Lucy defended, memories of the battle coming back to her.

"I didn't ask for any of that bullshit."

"Bullshit?!"

"You sacrificed yourself!"

 _Oh. So, this is why she's mad at me._

"Okay, so, first of all, that part wasn't at all intended. We had just fallen into an ambush and Alan…" Her hands trembled as she gasped for air. "He… He bought me some time and then Ezor… And Lotor was here and…"

Lucy choked on her words as memories of the attack came back to her. Blood. Pain. Screams. Fear. She saw Alan's last smile again, heard the shouts in the corridors, felt the snap of his bond in her head once more. She could taste the smoke on her tongue and felt Zethrid's strong grip on her throat again, almost choking her.

Blurry thoughts. The ghost of a wicked smile in the darkness.

More screams. More blood. More pain.

"Lucy." Jijii's tone was firm.

Lucy focused back on the room in front of her. Jijii had gotten closer and was only a few inches away from her now. The raging storm had disappeared from her eyes, replaced by her usual calm and soothing stare.

"Lucy, breathe," Jijii said firmly, her warm hand suddenly resting on her cheek. "After all we've done to rescue you, now isn't the time to die on me."

Lucy's terror backed down and Lucy huffed at Jijii's joking tone. She leaned her head against Jijii's warm hand. "Don't worry," she smiled. "I know you called dibs on the first date with Death."

"Damn right, babe."

Lucy pressed her forehead against Jijii's as another smile spread across her lips. Warmth and happiness washed over her, shoving all the dreadful thoughts and nightmares away. Jijii wrapped her arms around her and Lucy rejoiced in the familiar embrace.

"I'm bleeding on your shirt," Lucy sniffled.

"Don't care."

"You won't say that when you'll have to wash it away."

"Then I'll burn it."

"Lili… How many times will have to tell you that is not how you do the laundry?"

"As many times as it takes, Cap," Jiji winked.

Lucy scoffed but smiled anyway, she had missed it so much. Had missed her so much that she didn't want to let go of her hands; still afraid everything would disappear when she least expected it.

"Now that you're back," Jijii finally said, breaking the silence. "You've got a lot to catch up on."

Lucy reluctantly pulled away, ready to face the others - hoping that she wouldn't earn a punch to the face with every hug she'd give. "Oh?"

"Yes. We're not the only one who wanted to see you."

"What do you…"

Lucy's words died on her lips as she followed Jijii's gaze.

Standing by the doors, were her parents.

"No." Her voice broke. " _No_."

"Morning, sweetheart." Elden smiled, dark green eyes shining with emotions.

"This isn't… This isn't true." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I saw Atlantis destruction you're… You can't be there."

Lucy wanted to scream. She had been fooled again. She was going to wake up in her cell and the torture would start all over again. The sick games and the attacks. The tricks and the lies. The nightmares and the illusions. She had wanted it all to be real but this? Her parents? That was too much, too good to be true.

 _This isn't real._

 _This is a nightmare pretending to be a dream._

 _Wake up._

 _Wake up!_

Lucy could feel her brittle nails digging into her palms. Jijii's presence at her side seemed to fade now and the world spun around her. Nausea raised in her throat. She felt stupid for holding onto the dream for so long.

How could she expected it to be real, after everything that happened? How could she be fooled in such simple ways?

A few smiles and a warm hug.

She wanted to punch herself, that was all it needed for her to fall into the trap again. Cosmo and Jijii had often teased her that she'd die of hugs deprivation before she'd starve to death. Had Narti seen that memory? Was she trying to give her what she needed so she'd keep moving for another few days? Panic and rage twirled around her, homesickness driving her insane.

"This isn't a dream, darling."

Lucy hold onto her breath as she heard her mother's voice in her mind.

"We're here. You're safe."

And then it hit her.

"Balmera." Her voice trembled, hoarse with the tears she was trying to hold back, "The tree. The smiling woman. The familiar presences on the other side of the street…"

"That was us, darling." Daleen murmured, caressing her cheek. "We came to rescue you."

"And the roots earlier…"

"Yeah about that," Jijii groaned. "That was pretty rude."

"You punched my daughter," Elden argued. "My fingers slipped."

Lucy's eyes widen at the sight. Her father and Jijii were bickering in front of her. Never in her wildest dream, had she imagined she'd seen the day. She was still having a hard time processing the news.

"The flowers in the bedroom…" Her voice was barely a whisper now. "That was you, wasn't it?"

"Still your favorite?" Her father smiled softly, holding her shaking hands in his. Lucy wanted to drown in the warmth of his green eyes. How could she forget how bright they shone under the sunlight? How could she forget how warm her mother's presence in her mind was?

Father. Mother. The words almost felt foreign on her tongue after so many years.

"Of course, they still are… They were his too." Her eyes fell to the floor, shame and guilt gnawing at her heart at the memory. The black blood on her fingers seemed to tease her even more now.

"We watched over the seeds in the garden for days so the birds wouldn't come and steal them."

Lucy whipped her head in the new voice's direction.

A pair of pale blue eyes met her shocked gasp.

Lucy couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, couldn't make a move as her brother took a step toward her. His broad shoulders were shaking when he finally looped his arms around her shoulders.

"Long time no see, bis sis," he whispered softly.

Lucy couldn't say anything. Giggles and soft smiles came back to her mind, late night stories and stargazing. Adventures in the forest and race down the slope that lead to the nearby town. The young boy had grown into a man now, he was even taller than her now, his chin resting on top of her head as he squeezed her tight against his chest. As if, him too, was afraid she'd disappear.

"How?" Lucy croaked, cupping his face between her shaking fingers. "I saw you die. The officer killed you. Your mind went blank, I couldn't hear you anymore." Lucy trembled at the memory, still fresh in her mind. "You were… gone."

"And yet, here he is."

"Jijii… How did-"

She winked. "Told you you'd have a lot to catch up on."

"How did you even find them?"

"Coincidence." The lieutenant shrugged.

Eurwyn shifted behind her. "Let's just say, my first meeting with your lieutenant was…"

"Unconventional?" a brunette man proposed.

"That's a way to say it, indeed."

Lucy tilted her head, she didn't know the man, had never seen him before and yet his face seemed familiar. Conversations with the Green Paladin suddenly came back to her.

"Matt!?"

The young man shot a toothy smile at her. "Nice to meet you, Captain Kyra!"

"Wait, the two of you know each other?"

Lucy laughed at her brother's confusion. "Of course not, silly. But Pidge is the spitting image of his brother."

Tori chuckled ."I'm surprised you managed to remember that conversation with Pidge… And that you could actually make the link today."

"Excuse you, I have a really great memory and I'm not _that_ oblivious!" Lucy replied, throwing one of the cushions at Tori's face. The woman caught it in a second, laughing at Lucy's pouting face.

Cosmo ruffled her hair and Lucy leaned in, happiness all over her face as she observed her group of friends. It was as if nothing had ever happened, as if she was never gone. She missed them, missed their small moments like that more than everything. Having her parents and her brother back because of some twisted game of the universe didn't change anything. She didn't need to share their blood to treat them like family.

She took Cosmo's and Jijii's hand in hers and walked toward the couch, hugging tight Hazel and Tori as she passed by. She was glad to be back. For now, she was willing to pretend that everything was fine.

Fake it 'till you make it, right?

As she settled herself on the couch, between Cosmo and Jijii, she prayed for her nightmares to stay at bay a little longer. Surely their daily round could wait for a moment. Surely, she could rest for a while, catching up with everything that had happened while she was gone. Surely, she could recover from what she had seen. She just needed to gain a little time and denial had always been the best way to do so.

Lucy opened her eyes. She didn't know when she had started to doze off on Cosmo's shoulder but it was long enough for the rest of the group to have scattered again, busying to their own task. She could hear everyone's fleeting thoughts and she rejoiced in the fact that her power was back. It felt weird to be able to control it again and she hated how, in such a short amount of time, Lotor and Narti had managed to affect her so deeply. Because of them, even her own abilities felt foreign to her.

The fog in her mind was gone now and she was able to observe her friends silently. Cosmo was reading some notes on his tablet while Jijii sat with her legs crossed, sipping her coffee beside her. Lucy noticed her lieutenant's bare shoulders and realized that the soft fabric of her red cape had moved on onto her own shoulders. Even through her sleep, their hands had remained joined together. Lucy didn't move, not wanting them to leave their comfortable positions. However, as soon as Cosmo felt her curious glance in his mind, a loud piercing shout erupted in her mind.

Lucy nearly fell from the couch from the surprise. Jijii suspiciously glanced at the both of them.

"Welcome back to the world, Cap," she said, sipping her cup as she waited for explanations. "What is the reason behind such rude awakening?"

"Cosmo! He just screamed and I swear he just killed my eardrums."

"Not bad for a mute boy," Jijii smirked, sipping her coffee loudly.

Cosmo shrugged, a smile lingering on his lips.

The bastard was proud of himself.

" _Dios, I missed that._ " Cosmo signed, poking her nose before she could escape.

"Really, Cosmo?" She pouted, "Is scaring the hell out of me your only reason to live?"

"Um… yes?" Jijii answered for him and Lucy grumbled at the wink they exchanged. She had forgotten the only thing those two agreed on was their will to mess with her.

" _We've got a month worth of prank to catch up, dear Captain~_ " Cosmo trailed in her head.

Lucy snatched both her hands away from theirs and sprang to her feet, determined to go find her dad or whoever that hadn't decided to steal her remaining sanity. When she got up, however, something caught her attention and she stopped in the middle of the living room.

"What is it?" Jijii asked curiously, observing Lucy's lost gaze.

"Someone's coming."

Cosmo and Jijii tensed at her words. Lucy ignored their intriguing glare and closed her eyes, focusing on the people she could feel approaching. They were still too far her to read their mind perfectly but if she focused enough, she could try and pinpoint their location better and figure out their identity.

"No one knows we're here, Luce, you sure?"

"Two persons… A woman and the other is still too far I… Sam!?"

A relieved sigh escaped Jijii's lips. "Great. Nothing to worry about then, that's just Sammy and Lo. They went to look for medicines for you earlier."

"What do you mean, nothing to worry about?!" Lucy shrieked, barely able to contain the rising panic in her. She stormed out of the room, stepping into the kitchen where Ash and the others were talking. "Tori! Can you explain to me, what the hell is Sammy doing here? He was supposed to be at your place! Why are you even here? You're supposed to be safe, with your family! With the kids! Why you-"

"Lucy, calm down, please you're still-"

"Still what, Tori?"

Lucy's calm had vanished. She could feel her heart racing in her chest. What was Sammy doing in the middle of the war? Were the other kids there too? Fear cascaded through her one more time. She had made sure the kids would be safe, had been so relieved to hear Tori's positive answer as to care for them but now Sammy was here. And so was Tori.

 _This isn't normal. What if something happened? What if they're hurt?_

Her head was aching again. Flashbacks of Narti's illusions came back to her. Her young boy, blood on his hands, eyes dull and cold. Heartless. What if something had really happened at the inn? What if Sammy was here because something bad, something worse than she could have ever imagined, at happened to them there when she thought she was sending them to a safer place?

Lucy didn't wait for Tori's answer, fear paralyzing her train of thoughts she rushed outside of the building.

The dusk was falling on the horizon and colored the evening sky in different shades of orange and blues. A thin silhouette appeared, climbing up the hill. Lucy's heart twitched at the sight of Lo. From up there, with her pouch on one side and her cloak flying with the breeze, the scientist looked just like the young girl Lucy had met years ago.

Sammy started running as soon as he saw her. Lucy's knees fell to the ground and she welcomed the young boy in her arms when he crushed against her. His hands clung desperately to her shirt, his shoulders started to shake and she felt his hot tears down her neck.

"I'm back darling, I'm back."

She kept whispering his name and pat his back as she did so, trying to reassure him. He was inconsolable and she felt the sting of blame twisting her guts. Her boy was crying because of her and she hated every second of it. She could feel his blood pulsing in his neck with each erratic beating of his heart. It hammered in his chest with the same chaos that was his mind. Fear. Relief. Sammy's mind was another kind of hurricane.

"You're back," he finally whispered, voice hoarse with tears.

"I'm back, darling." She smiled and kissed the top of his head, combing his messy locks with her fingers. "I'm back."

"I was so scared."

"There's nothing to be afraid of now, Sammy."

The child buried his face in her neck one more time and she rocked him in his arms. The wet grass was soaking her pants but she couldn't care less. He needed it. They both needed it.

"You're finally home." Sammy smiled.

"I am." She kissed his nose and removed the tears from his cheek with her thumb. In his mind, the storm had calmed down. "Feeling better?"

"Are you really asking me if I'm okay?"

"Yes, why? I shouldn't?"

"Of course, I'm fine. I should be the one asking. Not the contrary!"

"But you're here," Lucy stuttered. "You're not supposed to be here. You were supposed to be at Tori's. Did something happen?"

Lucy didn't want to hear the answer. The only thought of anything happening to the children, to her nieces, to Natsilane, was unbearable.

"No! Nothing happened. Nat and everyone else are fine."

"Great. Really great," Lucy breathed, relieved. "But then why are you here? Why did Tori bring you back?"

"She didn't really bring me back," he smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Not willingly anyway." Lucy didn't need her power to know when he was trying to hide something from her.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"What he means is that he sneaked in behind her back." A new voice explained from above them.

"Lo!" Lucy jumped back on her feet and hugged her best friend tight. "I've missed you!"

"Don't you dare get captured again," she mumbled against Lucy's shoulders. "I've been worried sick!"

"I'm all good now, don't worry!"

"Of course, I'm gonna keep worrying! That's basically my middle name with you all! And you definitely aren't fine. At all. I would know, I'm your doctor."

"I am fine," Lucy insisted. "Look, a hundred percent healthy and recovered!" Lucy showed off her muscles as if it could be any kind of convincing arguments to the perplexed doctor in front of her.

"Then why do you have blood on your shirt, if you're so healthy and recovered, huh? Do tell."

Lucy's gaze fell to the dark spot on her shirt. The blood looked darker under the fading light.

"Oh, that. It's nothing."

"I wouldn't call dry blood on my patient's shirt, 'nothing', Lucy."

"It's just Jijii's doing, it's fine. She punched me in the nose earlier. She didn't lose her strength I can tell you," Lucy chuckled but somehow, the young scientist didn't find the situation funny. At all.

"She did _what_?!"

"Nothing to worry about," Lucy winked. "Some old stuff she had to let go."

"Since when becoming your lieutenant's personal punching ball became normal to you?" Lo sighed.

"I did deserve it after everything that happened. We're good now. You know, just the usual."

"You two are the worst weirdos I ever met."

"Thanks."

"Like I said, weirdos."

"Yes, but you love your weirdos, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. Even if you're both gonna kill me one day. I'm not meant to handle such worry. My heart is gonna give up on me one day, and it'll be your fault!"

"Lies," Lucy grinned, clasping Lo's shoulder. "Your heart is stronger than anyone else! You aren't our Sugar Lo fairy for nothing!"

"I've missed that shitty grin of yours."

"Hehe~"

"For once, I'll let it pass. Don't get used to it."

"For sure," she winked. "Now, what were you saying about, Sammy?"

Lucy patted Merryn's head as Cosmo and Jijii appeared behind her. Tori was with them, still worried about Lucy's outburst. Lo smiled at them and answered Lucy's question, her eyes never leaving the young boy's gaze.

"He called Jijii and then Tori learned about your… situation. And she yelled a lot."

"What do you mean 'yelled'? Were there any reasons for her to be mad?"

"I didn't appreciate the fact that Jijii had kept the news from us all along." Tori missed Jijii's rolling of the eyes as she replied to her captain.

"But Tori, Nat and you had stepped away from the conflict. Why would Jijii tell you?" Lucy didn't get it.

Tori's eyes widen. "Because of you, silly! You're my captain and you needed my help! Of course, I'd want to know about such information! So, I came back to smack some senses into Jijii's brain."

"Well," Lucy argued, "I would have done the same. You were safe where you were, you didn't need to know."

"Exactly." Jijii nodded, siding with Lucy.

"You're both insufferable," Tori sighed. "Anyways, when I arrived on Scarlet Kaida, Merryn found Sammy in the back of the ship. I hadn't realized he had followed me."

"You did that, Sam?!"

"Yes. Like a real ninja," he grinned, smiling at both Lucy and Jijii.

"Awesome! That's my boy!"

"Lucy!" Lo scolded, "This isn't what you're supposed to say! Don't encourage him!"

"You're right." Lucy paused and leaned toward Sammy. Her serious face didn't last for long, however, and her lips split into another beaming smile as she ruffled the young boy's hair. "I'm hella proud of him!"

"Lucy!"

Jijii burst into laughter at Lo's disbelieving face. "You should have seen that coming, Liva!"

"That's Sammy we're talking about, after all," Cosmo signed, a grin on his face.

"My best boy. So proud. We've raised you so well." Lucy grinned, shoving away a fake tear out of her eyes.

"Let me doubt about it," Lo mumbled.

"I won't let you question our awesome parenting skills, Lo. Sammy is like the ultimate Scarlet Boy and I couldn't be prouder of my ninja baby!"

"Hell yes, good job, Tsiry!" Jijii agreed as she aimed her finger guns at the child.

Merryn barked in agreement and Lucy hugged her again. Lo huffed and crossed her arms and over her chest and rolled her eyes, admitting defeat.

"Plus," Jijii continued. "In the end, it's a good thing he came back. Isn't it right, Tori?"

"Yes," Sammy smiled proudly. "Without me, you wouldn't have understood the code."

"Right."

"The code?"

"Yeah, Luce. The writing on the walls of your cell. Pidge hacked the surveillance system and Sammy understood your message.

Lucy gasped. "So, I really wrote it, huh? I was caught up in dreams and illusions most of the time. I couldn't say what was real and what wasn't, but then I heard them and I tried to do something. I was persuaded I was wrong but then they punished me for it. They locked me away, in my own mind. I couldn't escape. I couldn't do anything but see the same scenes over and over again. I have no memory of what happened after that. Not yet, anyway. They always come back at some point."

"Yeah well, now you're back and you better be ready to take the lead again. My month free trial is over and I don't want to be captain anymore. It sucks."

"What?! A month?! I was gone for a month?"

"Yes, you were. Now time for bed." Lo's seriousness was back and Lucy could hear the doctor's authority in her voice.

"What, no, Lo, wait!" She didn't want to go back. Not yet.

"Time for rest. You got wounds to heal."

"I'm fine! I'm telling you!" Lucy whined, struggling against the scientist surprising strong grip. "Sammy, don't leave me with that fury!" She shouted dramatically.

The young boy laughed. "You must listen to the doc, Mama Lu."

"Betrayal!"

"Aww, Princess doesn't want to go to bed. You want us to read you bedtime stories?" Cosmo's joking tone trailed in her mind, as teasing as ever.

"Go to hell, Cosmo!" Lucy bit back, shutting him out.

"Bed. Now."

Lucy grumbled but let Lo led the way to her room again. In the small kitchen, Kolivan and Ash were already preparing dinner. Lucy was already salivating at the thought of getting a real meal. Her first decent one in weeks. Lo had another idea, however, and announced that she couldn't eat anything of the sort yet and was left with a plate full of the paladins' green disgusting goo.

"That's just rude, Lo."

"Stop whining and eat."

"You really are full Killjoy mood, today, huh?"

"Sugar Lo cares for her captain's recovery and so, she'll act as she wants as long as said captain takes her meds, drinks water and sleep properly."

Lucy huffed, showing her annoyance, but bit into the food and swallowed the sleeping pills anyways.

She didn't sleep for long, however, and soon, her terrified scream tore through the night.

 _ **I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO WRITE THE POTATO SCENE OMFG JIJII AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING AND LAUGHING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS ALREADY**_  
 _ **Hoped you enjoy the chap :) - leave a review please? 3**_


	22. Warm embrace

**the chap wasn't beta-ed and last time i reread it was last week when i finished writing it so i hope it's good, i'm too tired to read it again this morning. I tried but… nope XD I wanted to get ahead on my schedule but haven't write anything all week except for monday so hopefully there'll be an update on next saturday too. Fingers crossed. (maybe brain got tired after THE 30K+ WORDS I WROTE DURING JUNE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)**

 **June being pride month i don't know if that's a result but this chap gives me so much gay vibes you don't even know. I already shipped my girls together so bad (okay one is like 200+ and the other is 20 but age is one of the many made up fact as i was writing this story so yeah. don't call pedophilia on me they're the most adorable and if you like the idea of them together there's a firereader AU on my account ;) - the lumos interaction should be back in chap23 too)**

Kolivan stared at the fire dancing around Merryn's tail as she slept by the lieutenant's feet. He was still having a hard time processing the news that the sleeping dog was the same creature that had gone feral the day before. The hound hadn't left her masters for one second today, always by Jijii's or Cosmo's side when Lo was keeping her away from Lucy's. The captain needed to rest and the hound needed to wait before they could hang out together again.

Lucy.

Kolivan's thought drifted back to what had happened in the morning, he hadn't seen that look in the young girl's face in a long time and he hadn't missed it. Thankfully she had taken back the control of her mind fast enough and had gone back to her playful self just as quickly. Kolivan, even if he pretended the contrary, liked her little games and how she had the talent of coming up with nicknames for everyone. He still couldn't believe she had managed to convince all the other officers of the Blade to change his codename to Dad, and thus, barely a week after working with them. She was truly unbelievable.

The young girl he had met years ago had grown into a strong leader and even if she liked to pretend she wasn't, Kolivan had seen her evolved in the past few years and no one but she had managed to convince the most stubborn of their allies to join their cause. When she wanted, Lucy could be really convincing. Or scary - a little bit of both, in fact. Kolivan hoped that what she had been through wasn't going to change who she was. She had already been through the Arena, he prayed a month in Lotor's cell wasn't worse. He'd hate to witness the damage, and see the consequences be too much of a burden on her shoulders.

His eyes went back to Daleen. Sitting on one of the armchair beside the fire, her gaze focused on the landscape behind the window, crimson shadows danced in her auburn hair as she stared at the few stars shining in the dark sky. Like this, he could see all the resemblances she shared with her daughter, from the jaw line to the color of her eyes. Lucy had inherited the freckles of her father but otherwise, she was the spitting image of her mother.

Kolivan couldn't believe Lucy's mother was sitting in front of him, nor that her brother was sleeping downstairs and that her father was on his shift, outside of town. Kolivan had a hard time believing a lot of things recently it seemed. But it was nothing new to him, ever since Lucy and her crew had barged into his life, it seemed surprises kept happening one right after the other.

Along with Cosmo and Jijii, the four of them had been sitting in the living room for an hour now, discussing what had happened and what they would do afterward. They had agreed on one thing for now: they needed to stay here in order to make Lucy's recovery as smooth and efficient as possible. No one knew they were here and they weren't many citizens in the area, they were safe for now and given the calm of the environment that surrounded them, Lucy would be able to get all the rest she needed. Lo had been positive on that matter, sleep was the best medicine Lucy could receive. Kolivan just hoped Lotor wasn't going to be able to control her anymore.

"He won't."

Kolivan had forgotten one trait Lucy shared with her mother: her mind-reading skills.

"He won't," Daleen repeated, shifting on her chair, "the woman who controlled her is dead."

"How did she even managed to keep control over her for so long?"

"She used an old war tactic that was used with prisoners on Atlantis. People with the right abilities can lock your conscience away and once it's done you're no threat to the community anymore. The practice was forbidden for years and when the Galra first threatened to come and take Atlantis, every trace of those techniques was erased. We didn't want them to fall on such power. Even if the numbers of my kind had declined over the years, we couldn't take the risk of the Empire using our powers against other populations."

"It seems those precautions weren't enough in the end," Jijii murmured, caressing Merryn's fur.

"I don't know where Lotor got that knowledge, or where that woman got them, but even if he was to find someone else with her controlling skills, Lucy is too far now."

"So, Lucy is out of his reach for good? You sure about that?" Kolivan didn't wish for surprises anymore.

"Yes. And out of everyone's reach to be honest."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if it's still the after effect of the last events or of the meds, or even her own self-defense system kicking in, but she's repelling everyone from her mind, myself included. It's like standing in front of a closed door with padlocks all over." Daleen grabbed her glass of wine on the table and added, "But I'm glad."

"Glad?"

"I have my daughter back. This is all that matters. The day she was taken away from me… I never felt so much pain and horror in my entire life."

The three of them remained silent as Daleen kept on going.

"We used to live in the city but when… When Lucy was born, the never-ending noise of the town would keep her awake all night long. She had inherited my powers and she didn't know yet how to tune it all out. We couldn't stand seeing our daughter in such pain so we moved to a smaller town, bought a house nearby a cute little wood and lived there for almost fourteen years. It was perfect."

"Until the sentries came and ruined everything, I bet…" Kolivan whispered, clutching his fists.

"My children grew up there, without worrying over keeping their powers at bay and were always using them. Always practicing even more so they could reach each other from the other side of the forest. Neither of them learned how to keep people out or stop themselves from jumping from one mind to another. Eurwyn was different from his sister in the fact that, not like her, he loved being surrounded by people, seeing all the colors flourish in their minds like fireworks around him. He loved it, and I think that's what happened that day."

Daleen drank another sip, doing her best to remove the rasping sound from her voice.

"It was Eurwyn's birthday and he had asked to go to town to see the magician. He had always loved those show. When I realized I had forgotten to tell Lucy to pick some stuff for me, they were already in town. So, I went to the market myself. I wanted them to have fun, but then… Then I heard their screams and felt their pain inside my chest. It hit me like a punch in the stomach and knocked out my breath for a second. One second too many. I ran, faster than I ever had, only to see my son's blood on the pavement and my daughter being taken away by the soldiers.

"My children… I wanted to reach out to her, promise her that everything would be okay. That we'd come to her and that she'd be safe. But I was too weak and I couldn't reach her. My daughter, whom I was always able to reach whether she was in her room or climbing a tree in the woods, was standing two feet away from me and I couldn't reach her. She had tears and blood glistening on her cheeks, she was being taken away from me and I couldn't reach her. Her mind was an unbreakable wall…"

"Just like it is today." Kolivan understood.

"Yes. I didn't know why or where they had taken her, didn't know who was responsible for what had happened to my boy. The injury took weeks to heal as he was still too young for it to heal fast. But even when I was worrying for my son's life, I couldn't help but try and reach out for my daughter. She was too far to feel her presence but I knew she was alive somewhere. I was determined to find her."

"How? How did you know?"

"The bond." Jijii affirmed, staring into Daleen's eyes, "On Atlantis, everyone is linked through their magic. A bond forever lingers between children and their parents. New links are made through life, with friends, with husbands and wives. Significant others or soulmates as we call them in some region."

"Exactly."

"You would have known if she was dead because a severed bond is the worst of all. Our magic isn't meant to lead to our extinction so when life follows its lead and ends its circle naturally, the pain is bearable and fades away with time. It's hard but you can move on. It's why birthdays and other ceremonies are so important on our planet, they're supposed to celebrate life and bring luck and love to the bearer. But if the bond snaps when it shouldn't…"

"It's worse than death, worse than everything," Daleen finished, "The bond is still here and feels like a missing limb. Severed but an everyday reminder of what you once had. Most people don't survive the loss for long. But how can you expect them to? It's like losing part of yourself, losing your soul along with the people that mattered the most to your life."

"Yeah…"

"Is it because of the bond you shared that you were able to find her again?" Kolivan asked, glancing at Jijii.

He could feel something was going on with her and he wondered if she had ever witnessed such thing. Had she feared such thing would happen? Was that the reason why she had always been convinced Lucy was alive when everyone was ready to give up? He had never thought such strong magic could exist between people. And just like Altea, such a beautiful culture was gone now. Jijii and Lucy's family were the last of their kind.

"No. Not exactly, anyway. We knew she was still alive because of the bond but she was too far for us to find her using it. So, when the rebel alliance came to our planet after the… event, we joined them, hoping that they'd be able to give us the opportunity to get her back. We learned about the Arena and how the prisoners had escaped but at that time we didn't know Lucy had been part of the freed ones."

"She's the reason we're out. The three of us would probably still be there if it wasn't for her."

Jijii's gaze lingered on Merryn's back as she spoke, observing as it raised with every breath she took while she slept. Jijii glanced at Cosmo before she kept going, silently asking if it was still okay for her to go on with their own story. He nodded, scratching subconsciously his arm where the black triangle was branded on his arm.

"Lucy was the one crazy enough to believe that we could get out. That all of us, could get out. She refused to leave anyone behind and we waited until we had found the perfect moment. It took us two months but we did it, and when the group had to split for discretion sake, the four of us stuck together."

Kolivan scoffed. "Trying to be discreet while journeying with a partner like Merryn mustn't have been easy at first."

Jijii laughed, shifting on her seat. "I know right? We tried once to convince Lucy that it wasn't a good idea. We never tried a second time. We learned that day how stubborn and determined she could be. Besides, it didn't take long for Merryn to conquer both our heart too. She can be just as persuasive as Lucy when she wants to."

"I recognize my daughter here," Daleen smiled, "You should have seen when Eurwyn and her got into arguments. It wasn't often but the both of them are quite strong personalities and Elden and I often had hard times, reconciling them. It feels so far away now… She grew so much since that time. I wish she never had to go through all that. I wish none of you had…"

"Well, we can't rewrite the past, can we?" Jijii jumped from her chair and walked closer to the windows, arms crossed behind her back.

"No, we can't, Lieutenant… Sadly."

"You still haven't told us how you managed to find us again? Though I guess, Eurwyn and Matt being the key to lead your way wasn't planned."

"No, not planned at all. We were coming to Haumea to be their backup in case of attack. But the attack happened before we arrived. We find the village untouched but their place was empty. We followed Matt's position tracker and we found you with them. The last time we had heard of you all was thanks to a Galra operative who was working for the Blade. Krolia told us she had met a girl similar to our description, that she was now fighting alongside the blade and fought against the Empire."

"Krolia..." Kolivan remembered the day they had met Lucy aboard Scarlet Kaida for the first time. Krolia had been with him and two of her crew members had asked them to let them help. The woman, Tori, was pregnant and they didn't want their twins to grow in the middle of a war. Lucy wouldn't allow it either. Therefore, Krolia had become their superior and they'd report to her each information they spied inside the walls of their inn. Krolia was still in contact with them and had managed to climb on top of the hierarchy of her unit because of the key information they had given her.

"The Empire took too much from us. Lotor already took my daughter away from her family twice, I won't let him have his third try. I won't allow that to happen to her, ever again. The bastard better leave her alone."

"I think our dearest prince will be busy with his own recovery." Jijii exchanged a glance with the engineer, the hint of a smile breaking her unreadable features.

"What have you done?" Kolivan asked, trying to understand what the hell the two had done behind his back.

"Nothing. Just gave him a foretaste of what's to come when we come for him."

"Jijii…"

"We gave him a face mask he won't forget." Jijii winked at him and high fived her partner in crime, the two of them were radiating of pride. Kolivan would have sighed out of despair if it wasn't for Merryn's reaction. The hound's eyes shot open as she stood back on her feet, a worried whimper escaping her throat.

"What is it, girl?" Jijii didn't have time to understand more of Merryn's behavior that a scream could be heard from Lucy's room. She stormed into the living room barely a few seconds after, tears gleaming on her cheeks. The entrance door slammed shut behind her.

Jijii didn't waste any second and ran after her. When Kolivan and Daleen stepped forward, however, both Cosmo and Merryn kept them from going any further.

"Cosmo, what are you doing? Let us through."

The engineer stood still in front of them, blocking the way. Cosmo crossed his arms and shook his head, his eyes shifting to the window. Lucy needed to be alone and there was only Jijii to calm her down. Even if Kolivan was almost like a father to her and even if he'd been confirmed by Lucy's reaction that Daleen was indeed her mother, he couldn't let a complete stranger approach her. He also knew Lucy wouldn't want Kolivan to see her this way, he had seen too much of her weaknesses already.

"It's fine, Kolivan." Daleen whispered, nodding at Cosmo as she put a stopping hand on Kolivan's shoulder.

"Don't you want to go after her?"

"There's no need to. Like I said, Kolivan, I wasn't by my daughter's side all this time, other people were. Her friends, her crew, or even you. Pretending that, because I'm her mother and that I'm back into her life, I'm going to be the best one available to help her would be lying to myself. I know I'm not the one she needs now."

Cosmo's arms fell back to his side and he walked toward the window, watching as Merryn appeared on the other side of the wall, keeping watch on her mothers on the other side of the garden.

"I wouldn't know how to calm my own daughter. Isn't that sad?"

The doom in Daleen's voice was heartbreaking.

Outside, the moon's silver halo illuminated the rooftops in the valley. Jijii heard the night breeze whispering in the branches of the pine and felt the hare's tail grass tickling her legs as she passed by. It didn't take her long to find the shivering silhouette of her friend, standing in front of an old gnarled apple tree. The back of Lucy's shirt was drenched in sweat and from where she stood, Jijii could hear her harsh breathing, sobs breaking in every once in a while.

Just as she had done with Cosmo a few days before, Jijii walked slowly toward Lucy, speaking softly to her as she did so. Lucy's shoulders twitched when Jijii approached but she didn't turn back. She remained alert, as if ready to run away at any moment and when she finally spoke, her voice was hoarse with the tears she had shed.

"Leave me alone."

"You know I won't do that."

"Go away," she croaked, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me."

"I will… Like I hurt everyone else."

"What are you talking about? You didn't hurt anyone."

"I did!" Lucy shouted, finally turning toward her.

Her eyes were red, her lips quivering with every word. Jijii hadn't seen her in such a bad state in a very long time, years even, and she hadn't missed her terrified screams. When facing her dreams, Lucy always woke up shivering, weaker than ever. She wasn't the strong leader she pretended to be anymore, nightmares pushed her to who she really was. A kid.

If they'd been on Atlantis still, Lucy would have been part of the younger bunch, maybe she'd even be studying in the city now. But Lucy wasn't a student, she wasn't living the perfect life in her hometown or traveling around the continent like people of her age did, instead, she had earned a trip to the Arena and five years later her worst enemy had found her again and torn her mind to pieces, forcing her to watch as her planet and her people were obliterated in one cruel second.

If Lucy had managed to control herself over the years, the little progress she had made seemed to have shattered in pieces now. Lucy was terrified, her shoulders were tense and her eyes darted in every direction as if she was afraid of something in the darkness. Lucy was afraid of the silence, not of the dark.

What have you done to her, you bastards?

Even though she wanted to burn down the whole forest and make Lotor suffer for what he had done to her, Jijii controlled her anger and kept herself from clenching her fists - she didn't want Lucy to think they were aimed at her.

"I remember it now," Lucy stuttered, "I remember all of it." Her hands shot to her face, covering the horror that shone in her wide eyes.

"That wasn't you." Jijii insisted, taking another step toward her.

Lucy took two steps backward. Shaking her head, she squinted her eyes shut and covered her ears with her hands, yelling. "Every word coming out of your mouth is a lie!"

Jijii flinched.

"Stop lying to me! Stop lying to yourself! You know I did it. I destroyed everything. I'm a monster, Jijii."

"No." Jijii kept her voice calm but she could feel her blood boiling in her veins. She hated when Lucy did that, when she was too far in her nightmares and self-doubts and tried to take all the blame for herself. "I won't allow you to say such things. I won't allow yourself to beat yourself up for something you didn't do."

"Then tell who was it? Who was it, Jijii?" Lucy snarled, "Who allowed Atlantis to be destroyed? Who was weak enough to let Lotor take control of her powers, something she swore she would never, ever, allow? Who destroyed all those villages, frightening countless of innocent citizens?"

Lucy's gaze fell down to the floor, fingers shaking as memories seemed to harass her brain. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks once more. Her voice was barely but a whisper now.

"Who fought against you yesterday? Whose swords clashed against yours? Whose blade sliced your skin? Me! I did it. I did all that."

"Lucy-"

"No! You can't deny all that! Jijii, Merryn killed again because of me! I was supposed to protect her from that! And Cosmo? He would have died if she hadn't been here!"

Lucy's legs wobbled and she fell to her knees, another kind of horror crippling her body. "I could have killed him…"

"But you didn't."

Lucy flinched but didn't budge. Couldn't take in any more, Jijii crossed the remaining space between them and sat in the grass in front of her, late night dew soaking her pants almost instantly.

"Lucy, look at me."

Lucy shook her head once more, "No, I can't. I can't be with you all anymore. I don't deserve to be here. You shouldn't have come for me. You shouldn't have risked your life to take me back!"

Jijii grabbed Lucy's chin, forcing her to turn back to her. Lucy's glossy eyes looked almost black in the darkness. "It wasn't you. You didn't do it. Lotor did all those horrendous things, Lotor was the one to hurt you and hurt everyone else, Lotor was the one who destroyed all our lives. You didn't. And don't you, ever, dare to say that to me again, you hear me? You belong here, with us. We're family, and we never, ever, give up on family, remember?"

"But-"

"I swear if you open those chapped lips of yours to repeat such bullshit again, I'm going to punch your head so hard that Shiro's scar next to it will be nothing."

Lucy blinked and stared at Jijii's proud smirk.

"Come here," Jijii smiled, "I know my captain well enough to know when she needs a good warm hug."

Lucy's breath caught in her throat but she gave in, crushing against Jiji's chest, arms looped around her back. Jijii sighed and grabbed her shoulders softly, patting Lucy's back as more tears rolled down Lucy's cheeks, falling on her shirt.

"It's all my fault, Jijii. Everything."

"No, it isn't and you know it. Lotor did it. You said it yourself, they were controlling your powers, they captured and tortured you, you had no choice anymore."

"We always have a choice, Jijii," Lucy mumbled against her chest.

"Don't use my cool sentences against me to try and win the argument when you know you're losing. You won't be able to bullshit your way out with me."

"But I should have seen it coming! I had one job! I should have been able to protect you all, I should have been able to fight against them… I should have been able to end it all before it went too far."

"And how would you have done that exactly, huh?"

"I should have killed myself when I still had the chance."

"I beg your pardon? Do you hear yourself talking? My Lucy would never talk like that. The Lucy I know doesn't give up in front of adversity. She believes, no matter what, and she kicks ass."

"Nope. I'm a useless and coward captain."

"Do you want another potato in your face, or what?"

"I'd deserve it."

"Girl, don't tempt me."

"I don't think Lo would approve," Lucy sniffled, drying her eyes as she settled herself in Jijii's lap. "She wasn't really fond of the first one."

Jijii shifted on the ground and put her back against the old tree trunk, locking her arms around Lucy once again. "I don't think Kol, your parents, or Cosmo for that matter, would appreciate either, but you know I never cared for people's opinion."

"Yeah, sure. Then why do you get so mad about mine? It's the truth."

"It isn't the truth, it's bullshit," Jijii argued, fingers running through Lucy's shorter hair. She missed her long and soft locks but at least, growing out her hair again wouldn't be Lucy's hardest task. Just like her inner scars, it would take time, but she'd be able to recover. Jijii would make sure of it.

"So, you do care about my opinion," Lucy victoriously trailed. She had tilted her head back so she could look at her. Jijii was glad to see the glint of a smile in her eyes again. She smiled and kissed her forehead, "You know you're the only I truly care about my dear Fiaro."

Lucy smiled at the familiar pet name. Jijii only used it when they were together.

"What about Sammy, though? Or Merryn? Don't you care about our family?"

"I do. But they're not the one saying stupid things at the moment."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. So, stop or else I'll leave you alone in the middle of the night and you and your bare feet will catch a cold."

"I'd just have to enter the house again, or I could ask Merryn to come for me."

"You know I can be really persuasive, when I want to," Jijii warned, "I'd keep them all from helping the stupid idiot you are."

Lucy sat back on her knees and turned to Jijii, a wounded pout on her face. "Are you threatening me, now? How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Jijii laughed at her outraged tone. "You ran into the night, barefoot, when it's freezing cold and I'm not supposed to tell you the one and only truth I see here? You're stupid, my dear."

Lucy huffed and turned her back to her, which only made Jijii smile even more. She leaned forward and let her head fall on Lucy's shoulder. How long had she waited to be able to do that again? How much had she missed their childish arguments? How scared had she been to lose her over the last month? The snickering what ifs that had haunted her thoughts for the last couple of weeks were barely leaving her.

None of them moved, both appreciating each other's comforting presence.

"I was scared." Lucy finally said, her gaze focused on the foreign constellations that twinkled above their heads. "When I woke up, I… I couldn't recognize where I was anymore, the window was locked, it was as if the walls were closing in on me and I panicked. I wanted to run away from everything that was in my head."

Jijii grabbed Lucy's hand and squeezed her fingers, tightly.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"A nightmare. Or memories. I don't know. I can't even tell the difference anymore."

A sob broke passed Lucy's lips again and Jijii drew her closer, hoping that her only presence would reassure her and scare those bad dreams away. Lucy leaned into her warm embrace and breathed, trying to get a grip on herself and her ragged breath. The beating of her heart slowed and she was finally able to calm down. Jijii shivered at the contact of Lucy's frozen nose against the skin of her neck.

Once again, the two remained still, listening to the sound of the sleeping forest. The hooting of an owl. Leaves whispering in the branches of the trees. The gurgling of the stream nearby. Under the soothing silvery light of the moon, everything seemed so peaceful and the chaos of the war was put on hold. Jijii had started to believe Lucy had fallen asleep but the younger girl moved and called out her name.

"Jijii?"

"Yes?"

"Please, tell me it's real. Tell me it's not another of her illusions. Tell me I'm not going to wake up in that cell again. Tell me, Lotor can't hurt me anymore."

Jijii hated the helplessness and exhaustion she could hear in her voice. How bad had it been for her if even after all this time she still believed it could only be but a dream, another trick, another trap, set by Lotor's puppets.

"It's not an illusion. It cannot be, because it uses your memories. You never saw Eurwyn nor your parents this old. They can use your memories against you but this is real, they can't create their illusions out of nothing."

Lucy's big eyes looked up, staring up at her and hoping that for once, the nightmare was really over.

"Eurwyn now? I bet he barely looks like the baby he was years ago. He has a sharper jaw? A bigger nose? Longer hair? His voice is probably deeper than you remember as well. That cannot be an illusion because you never ever met him like this." Jijii pressed her forehead against Lucy's. "It's real, Luce. Everything is. I'm here and you're safe. No one can harm you anymore."

"Yeah?" Her lips trembled.

"I won't allow it." Jijii hugged her tighter and kissed the top of her hair. "I promise."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. That's my duty, after all, gotta protect my captain you know? And I can't allow someone to use my lieutenant's privileges. I'm the only one allowed to send potatoes your way."

"Yeah," Lucy chuckled, linking their fingers together, "That's right."

"I'm always right."

"Sure." Somehow, Lucy didn't seem convinced.

"Anyways, we should head back inside. If Lo didn't appreciate the potato scene earlier, I'm sure she'll be even madder if we add a cold to the long list of things you already have to heal for."

"She'll turn into the scary gremlin."

"Yep."

"Let's not risk that, Sammy still have nightmares from last time."

"We all have."

"You know that if you want to head back inside we have to move, right?"

"I said we should, never said I wanted too."

"Your cape is soaked with the grass. You're right and we need to go back inside."

"See?" Jijii winked, "Always right."

"Wh- Was that all an act so I'd say you were right!?"

"Told you, you could never win an argument against me."

"You are a-"

"Awesome? A real genius?"

"Adorable."

Jijii laughed, "Stop saying stupid things you idiot and let's go sleep."

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Idiot."

As soon as the two of them got up, two familiar ruby eyes settled on them. Merryn appeared in her swirling black shadows and barked happily, nudging at Lucy's shoulder. The hound didn't need to stand on her hind legs to reach Lucy's height and the young woman laughed as Merryn kept licking her face.

"I'm fine, Merryn, I'm fine. Jijii took care of me, I'm all good now."

Merryn tilted her head and Lucy hugged her tighter.

"Don't think she's convinced."

"Well, I do feel better. How long has she been there?"

"She's been keeping watch ever since I stepped outside earlier. Didn't let anyone out." Jijii explained, patting Merryn's flank, "Your personal bodyguard isn't gonna let anything happen to you, my dear."

Merryn barked proudly, nudging the lieutenant's head.

"You two, I swear…" Lucy smiled, "But it's fine Merryn, I'm safe now. Right? Nothing to fear…"

"Nothing."

"Except for Lo's wrath if we don't go back inside, now."

"Exactly."

The two of them laughed and before they could say anything, Merryn brought them back into the house. The hound had brought them back in Jijii's room on the first floor. The window had been left ajar and the fresh air of the night filled the room. Lucy breathed in, relieved that the feeling of claustrophobia she had felt earlier was completely gone now.

"Well," Jijii huffed at the sight of her allocated room, "I think Merryn understood you didn't like it upstairs. Plus, it's too risky to run down the stairs like you did earlier, you gave Kolivan a heart attack and the poor dad isn't old enough to die of a heart stroke."

"I'm sorry…"

"Stop apologizing all the time, damn it."

"Can't help it, sorry."

Jijii rolled her eyes, "What did I just say?"

"I'm sorry!"

"Lucy, I swear! Stop it!"

"How?"

"Drink and stop talking." Jijii sighed, handing her a tall glass of fresh water.

Lucy eyed at the bottle in her lieutenant's hand and at the glass she was giving her. "I'm not thirsty."

"Doesn't mean that you don't need it. You must stay hydrated, you cried a lot and you need water. You'll feel better afterward, trust me."

"I already feel better," Lucy whined.

"Drink or I'll empty the glass on your face, you stupid."

"Don't think that would serve your interests."

"Yeah, well at least it'll be more satisfying than hearing you battling against a simple glass of water."

"You'd have to clean the mess afterward."

"Stop questioning me and drink!"

"Fine!"

"Good. Now come to bed, sleepy head."

Lucy hesitated in front of the bed, and Jijii sent her an encouraging smile, guessing Lucy's fears before Lucy could grasp what was happening. After so many years by her side, Jijii knew that Lucy was always afraid to go back to sleep after nightmares had woke her up. She didn't want to face what would come for her as soon as she'd close her eyes and would usually go for a walk on the deck or read in her office.

"Breathe. Everything is fine. They can't reach you anymore." Jijii took her hand once again and watched as Lucy closed her eyes, shoving away the panic that was threatening to come back. Lucy smiled back at her and slipped into the empty spot beside her. Jijii looked into the sleepy chocolate eyes staring back at her.

Lucy is safe. They can't harm her anymore. Everything is fine.

She needed to convince herself as well.

"I've missed you," she said, kissing Lucy goodnight.

"I've missed you too."

"When you were away… Scarlet Kaida wasn't the same anymore. You took our home with you."

"But I'm back, now. I'm not leaving you anymore, don't worry."

"I won't let go of you so easily, young lady." Jijii scoffed, shoving away the uneven locks from Lucy's eyes.

"Don't think Merryn will either," Lucy laughed, taking in her arms the small silhouette of Merryn between her arms. The hound's height had shrunk considerably and she was barely the size of a puppy now. "Fire Pup wants to cuddle, apparently."

"It's comprehensive, we've missed a lot of cuddling session, after all."

Jijii caressed Merryn's small head, feeling her heat radiating off of her fur. Her shadows circled around them, twirling around their arms in a protective dance. The three of them settled on the pillows and fell asleep, rejoicing in each other's familiar presence.

All .NIC I SWEAR

Matt: *presses a button*  
kiss the girl: *starts playing*

ALSO I WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU TO THE NEW READERS! SK has now 10 followers on here and it makes me really happy. Doesn't sound much when you read it but 10 is a big deal to me when SK isn't even a ship story. How do you keep finding this story omg


	23. Querencia

after the firereader shipping content last time this time it's Lumos. I swear it's not done on purpose but yeah. I didn't update last weekend and it's wednesday so technically i should wait to update this weekend but i can't i just want this chapter to be out in the wild and be done with it lol. This is what happens when you get stuck on a chapter for days and weeks and when you're done you just wanna move on but then you realize you still have a lot to write. (seriously i'm getting really discouraged recently so the updates are taking the backlash)

Thank you for being patient with me :)

Hope you'll enjoy.

 **Querencia : (n.) a place where one feels safe, a place from which one's strength of character is drawn.**

Lucy was exhausted. Even if she had managed to sleep the rest of the night without any nightmares coming to disturb her, it seemed she still had a lot of sleep to catch up on. She could barely stand on her own two feet without yawning and feeling the urge to run back under her covers. Something she couldn't allow. She needed to get back to work. If she stayed in bed all day like Lo had asked her to, she was going to become even more insane than she already was and no one wanted that.

Merryn's shadows tickled at her ankles, and, slowly wrapping themselves around her waist, Merryn pulled her out of the dim bedroom. No matter where she'd go, Merryn was determined to follow her everywhere. Lucy didn't mind the hound's presence beside her and kissed her forehead as she sat in front of her. Given the smaller size of the base's corridors and rooms, Merryn had remained in her smaller size and used it as an excuse to cuddle ever more than usual. She was adorable.

Jijii was still in the bedroom, half resting, half keeping watch. Lucy had told her to as always. If she was indeed safe in here, then Jijii could be too and take another nap. As much as Jijii was good as hiding it, Lucy could feel the exhaustion radiating off of her lieutenant.

She definitely didn't like the whole captain duty I put on her shoulders.

"Come on, bud, let's go make something to eat!"

If there was one thing Merryn and Lucy shared it was their love for food. Merryn sprang back on her feet right away and even if Lucy was a few seconds away from the kitchen, Merryn used her skills to teleport them both into the sunlitted room. Merryn on her trail, Lucy dragged herself to the cupboards and grabbed anything edible she could find. Even if they weren't on Scarlet Kaida anymore, every days started with a good breakfast. Some fruits had been left on the counter, either the work of her father or the nearby wood she didn't know but they seemed delicious. She was about to attempt at making some fresh fruit salad when familiar arms fell around her waist. Lucy smiled and combed Sammy's tangled hair with her fingers.

"Slept well, darling?"

The child nodded, nuzzling his face against her. Just like Merryn, he didn't seem inclined to let her go so easily. "I don't remember my dreams but I didn't wake up once."

"Good." Lucy kissed his forehead, relieved her screams hadn't disturbed him. Sammy had never been a light sleeper and she couldn't thank him enough for that. She would have feel worse, knowing that Sammy would have had to witness her in such a state. She felt enough guilt as it was already.

"Are you making breakfast?" The young boy hopped on out of the stool, watching her as she kept rummaging through the kitchen's drawers.

"I'm trying, yes."

" _Good thing there isn't much left to burn then."_ Cosmo's voice joked inside her mind.

Lucy shrieked, smacking her forehead against the forgotten opened cupboard as she sprang back to her feet. She hadn't noticed Cosmo arriving behind Sammy and, taking advantage of that, he had sneaked behind her back, scaring the hell out of her.

"Cosmo!"

When Lucy turned around, Cosmo was innocently leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Lucy turned her furious glare toward him.

"I hate you."

The engineer only replied with a wicked wink and before she was able to punch him with her new-found spatula, he grabbed the jug of juice behind her and sat beside Sammy on the other side of the counter.

"Rushing toward safety you coward."

Cosmo smiled and put his head on Sammy's shoulder. " _Come on, Cap,"_ he purred, " _no violence around the kid. Isn't what you always say?"_

Lucy growled but remained silent, watching as Cosmo poured himself a drink. She wondered if it had been his real aim all along or if it was just another excuse for him to sneak behind her back and strain her poor heart. He knew how ticklish she was and had once again used her greatest weakness against her. A stupid proud smile still stuck on his lips, Cosmo glanced back at her and held her gaze. She could hear his laughter in his mind.

"You should see your face," Sammy laughed, "I thought you had seen him." Cosmo took another swing to hide his widening grin.

"Well, I hadn't." She grumbled, rubbing her head angrily before she'd get a big bump on her face. "It hurts, you stupid. Since when did you all take ninja classes?!"

The boys shrugged and Sammy smiled, "Mama Ji is a great teacher."

"I'll have to remind her that this wasn't at all on her Captain duty program."

"Too late."

Lucy stared at Sammy's toothy grin for a second, struck by the sight. Since when had he grown so confident? She was starting to realize how much she had missed during that month of absence, and the thought twisted her heart. It hadn't even felt like a month to her and whenever she tried to think about it, to try and grasp her idea of how much time had gone by, everything mixed inside her head, leaving her with her not so beloved dizzy brain and pounding headaches.

"If you're looking for food," Cosmo signed, "Ash also left some pie in the fridge."

"Makara and I baked it yesterday," Sammy added excitedly. "We went to retrieve it with Cosmo before they left."

"Left?"

The stinging sensation came back inside her chest.

Cosmo and Sammy didn't say anything more and handed her a folded note. When she opened it, Lucy recognized right away, the neet curved of Aria's letters.

Morning, Cap!

First of all, it's nice to have you back. I'm glad you're finally safe and sound with us. We've all missed you. I wish we could have had a little bit more time to hang out but we need to go. Both the Castle and the ship are too easy to track and we can't all stay here forever. You also need to rest and this base, nor this planet, has the resources to take care of such a huge group. We aren't leaving you alone though. Lo is obviously staying with you (take your meds please, it's important) as well as Jijii, Cosmo and Sammy. Your parents and brother are staying too, I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on after all those years! As for us, we'll be traveling all around the Galaxies again! Jijii and Aeris spoke with Kolivan and Allura, and someone has to keep keep the Empire troops busy, you see ;) The scarlet troublemakers are back in action! (Don't worry, we won't put ourselves in danger) We'll also be visiting Balmera to make sure everyone's okay as well as other planets with the paladins. I almost forgot, but we'll be passing by The Dragon's Lair so expect a huge amount of colorful drawings from the kids when we get back.

If you need us, call and we'll be back in no time! Take care, Captain!

Aria, your spymaster ready to kick ass 3

P.S.: Don't let Cosmo win! He's back in his mischievous days now, I think you'll be his main target and you gotta show him who's boss, right? Kick that shitty grin of his away from his face!

P.S.2: check the tiny cupboard next to your bed, Ash and I left some cocoa medicine there, hehe (don't tell Lo)

Lucy fingers clung to the yellowed paper, if she had known they'd be leaving so soon she'd have spent more time with them the day before. She barely had had the time to thank them and see how they were doing before she was forced back to bed by her assigned nurse. Lo had been adamant to the fact that she needed to rest, chat would come after.

"So, they're gone, huh?" She couldn't hide the quiver in her voice.

" _I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with us for a while, Miss."_ Cosmo winked but Lucy didn't smile. She hated the idea of being far from her crew again. After what had happened, no matter how joyful and confident Aria seemed to be in her note, she couldn't help but be worried. She didn't want anything bad to happen and knowing they were on their way to annoy an already pissed Emperor didn't help her worried state.

Feeling her unease, Sammy grabbed her fingers and squeezed her hand. She smiled back at him and did her best to erase the worry from her face.

 _There's nothing to be worried about, it's just your anxiety talking. They'll be okay and as long as you focus on healing, you'll be back with them in no time._

How did her pep talks worked on her friends? They were useless, she was even more scared now!

"We grabbed something for you before they left!" Sammy jumped from his stool and ran to the entrance to grab something by the door. Lucy recognized one of Cosmo many backpacks right away.

"What's that?"

"Well, it's pretty boring here so we thought you'd like some of your stuff back."

Lucy opened the zipper and smiled at the sight of her journal and pencil-case. Two books had been neatly settled on the side as well as her harddrive and tablet. One of the many plushies that sat on the shelves of her room was there as well. Lucy didn't even take the time to take the items out of the bag and hugged them both tight, loving their little attention.

"Thank you," she whispered, hugging them tight.

She already had a feeling they wouldn't let her fall into boredom and had a handful of pranks planned, but now that she had her most precious belongings back, she could get back to work and make herself useful.

The smell of Cosmo's shampoo tickled her nose. Why did she feel like crying again? She was tired of crying. She had thought that after last night's episode she'd be done crying for a while but apparently she obviously wasn't. Feeling the sting of her tears at the corner of her eyes, she bit her lips. How could something as simple as a bag full of her belonging could make her cry? She wasn't a whiner. She was tired of crying all the time. Ever since she had woken up, it felt like she only did that. Cry. Scream. Sleep. Repeat. She hated it. It was stupid and she hated more than anything her fucked up emotions and the rollercoaster her heart seemed to take everytime she barely took a step forward. It was nearly worse than having her period.

Nearly. There was nothing worse than craving and hating everything all at once while feeling the torture of hundreds of knives piercing your body. Nothing. Lucy felt the reminiscence of her lovely cruise with Lotor's generals and wondered if Lotor would get pissed that his evil master plan couldn't reach the awfulness of Mother Nature herself. She was the true villain, no one else was. Lucy shook her head, trying to shove away the silly thought of a fight involving Lotor and Mother Nature in an arena. Who would win?

 _Maybe I should add that one to the long list of bets we already have. That could be fun._

"Say Cosmo, who do you think would win against Mother Nature? Does Lotor even stand a chance?"

The engineer's brows furrowed, mischief gone from his eyes. A laugh escaped her lips as Sammy and Cosmo stared at each other, confused. Maybe they were starting to think she was going crazy. Lucy often forgot she was the only one able to follow her wild train of thoughts.

Alone.

Lucy breathed. It felt weird to suddenly realize how long it had been since she'd been the one in true control of her thoughts. The fog-like presence in her thoughts was gone now, no longer crawling in the back of her brain like a predator.

 _You're safe_ , Jijii had said. _You're home now._

Even if she had earned a new share of emotional baggage, she was glad to be back.

"Thank you again for the attention," Lucy repeated, grabbing a cup of coffee on the counter. "It really means a lot to me."

The dark liquid swirled inside the mug.

" _It's just a bag, Luce, it's nothing."_

Cosmo's voice inside her brain was a soft whisper, no longer teasing her.

Cosmo's voice. Sammy's smiles. Jijii's steaming cups. The smell of home.

"I'm gonna go find Jijii before I start crying again," she said suddenly, taking her eyes off of the cup and startling the two boys. "I found the coffee stash and I'm sure, unless her taste also changed, that she still needs her morning cup before she starts her day."

Sammy nodded, "Jijii is all grumpy when she doesn't have coffee."

"When isn't she, though?" Cosmo signed, a sly grin on his lips.

Sammy scoffed but Lucy grunted, smacking her spatula on Cosmo's chest. "Don't talk about my lieutenant like that, _amigo_."

" _Por supuesto, señora."_ Cosmo grinned as she walked away, Jijii's cup in one hand, her spatula in the other. Her glare could pierce through the wall but he could sense the smile, ready to break the composure at any moment. Lucy walked out of the kitchen and stepped back into the corridor, looking for Jijii - who judging by the now open door of their room, hadn't listened to her and had decided to stop her napping session.

It didn't take her long, however, to find her again as she heard Jijii's voice coming from the storage room. The door had been left open and as she got closer, Lucy recognized the second voice she could hear. She still had trouble understanding that he was really here, alive and all grown up, but Eurwyn was definitely the one talking to Jijii behind the door. The words she heard coming from his mouth, however, removed any trace of happiness from her face.

"Don't go near her. I saw your mind. I don't know what your intentions are but you're dangerous. I don't want anyone to hurt her anymore and I don't trust you."

"I can only congratulate you for that, it's not good to trust people you've only met a couple days ago. Hence why I don't trust you either."

Lucy felt her anger boil in her veins. Hearing those words from her brother and seeing Jijii like that and her detached and unaffected self infuriated her. She slammed the door open.

"Don't you dare," she growled, surprising Eurwyn as she entered. Jijii barely looked up, having noticed her presence already before she came into the room. Lucy tightened her fist and stomped toward her brother, handing Jijii her cup of coffee as she did so.

"If you think you can barge back into my life again and tell me what to do, tell the people I love, my family, what to do then you're very mistaken, Eurwyn. Being my brother won't excuse such thing." He was nearly two head taller than her now but she couldn't care less, she was still his big sister and Jijii was her lieutenant and there was no way she would allow him to talk to her like that.

"She's a monster! You don't know what she-"

"Say that again and you'll regret it. I trust Jijii more than anyone in this entire universe and excuse me but I would assume that I know more about her than you. How long have you known each other, huh?"

"Sis…"

"Don't get me wrong Eurwyn, I'm happy to have you back, I really am. Hell, I thought you were dead for all those years, I thought I was responsible for yet another death, but you're fine and so are mom and dad and I couldn't be happier. But I've spent the last six years fighting alongside her and she's always been there for me. I can't let you talk to her like that. Never. She's not a monster so you better take that back."

"Awh, sweetie, I'm flattered but don't be so harsh on him." Jijii put her cup on a nearby shelf and put an arm around Lucy's shoulder. "He's got reasons to be scared. Plus you're a baby so he's like, still a fetus? Give him room to grow."

"I'm not a baby. I'm an adult now, remember?"

"And I'm not a fetus." Eurwyn grumbled, agreeing with his sister.

"Sure thing, kiddos."

"I'm twenty now! I'm not a child!"

"You're the ones whining here, not me." Jijii shrugged. "Point is, it's okay if he wants to hate on me-"

"It's not," Lucy pouted.

"-he won't be the first nor the last."

"Doesn't matter, I won't let that happen."

"And that's really nice of you, babe, but, instead of wasting your time and strength on this, go back to bed and rest."

"What? No!"

"Yes. You need it, remember?"

"I'm fine!"

"No you're not."

"I'm not going to bed."

"I thought you were a responsible adult, now? Adults don't whine about that stuff and embrace the napping time. Adults don't need to be carried back to bed so they go sleep."

"I don't need sleep."

"You do."

"No."

"Sure thing."

"It's the truth."

Jijii suddenly shouted Cosmo's name. "Get your smart ass over here, Cosmo!"

"Why are you calling him? This is between you and I, Jijii, and Eurwyn a little. Cosmo has nothing to do with it. We're having a talk here!"

Lucy saw the hurtful look disappear from her brother's eyes, shifting to confusion. Lucy bet she looked the same but her mind was more focused on the ringing noise in her skull Jijii's sudden shout had created. Wincing and praying for her eardrums not to give up on her right away, she watched as an incredulous Cosmo entered the room. Merryn sat by his side, licking away the whipped cream from her muzzle. Lucy noticed right away the irritation in his eyes and judging by how wide they were, him too had been close to the infarction.

His arms shoot into the air. " _What the hell, Jijii?! Can't you act a little civilized for once?!"_

"Come on, old man, hear me out. Lucy doesn't want to go to bed."

Lucy gulped as Cosmo's gaze suddenly turned back to stepped backward. Something was amiss between the two and she didn't like how irritation had vanished in a small second from his eyes only to be replaced once more by the flame of mischief.

Cosmo's arms moved into the air once more, leaving both the Kyra siblings confused. Eurwyn didn't understand sign language, and as for Lucy, she was far too focused on her best friends' wolf like grin to pay attention to what Cosmo had just said. She was glad the two had finally learned how to bear each other's presence but she wasn't really fond of it being at her own expense.

Jijii, however, seemed to have listen to Cosmo and her smirk widened. Her white teeth seemed to glint in the light of the room. Lucy took another step back. What the hell were they planning to do?

"No, Cosmo, Little Miss doesn't want to go to bed. And you know what Lo said about that. During her absence, we've been given carte blanche to deal with her tantrums."

"My _tantrums_ , I beg your pardon?! Lo would never say that. Plus, she knows how horrible you two can be. She'd never allow you such freedom. She's supposed to be my nurse and she wants the best for me and wants me to get better, not worse!"

"Oh, she knows."

Jijii's tone trailed and Lucy suddenly felt like a prey in front of two hungry predators. Her gaze turned to Eurwyn. He was staring at them, utterly confused with the situation and how everything had turned.

"Lucy, what-"

"Eurwyn! Protect me from those monsters!"

"What? Two seconds ago you were telling me how nice your Lieutenant was! How there was no need for me to protect you from her."

"Yeah, but-."

"No buts about it. You're on your own now."

"What?! Traitor! What happened to sibling solidarity?"

Eurwyn only shrugged, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. Lucy had always dreamed of her brother meeting with her crew, how much she'd love to see him on the deck, hanging out with the others and sharing their adventures. She'd never thought the day would come for him to meet them, and she'd certainly never expected for him to side with them in such situation.

"You need to stay true to your words, Luce~" Jijii's words hissed on her tongue like the sound of a snake and as her gaze zeroed in on Lucy, she dashed forward ready to fall on her prey.

Lucy yelped and ran away from the wall, narrowly escaping Jijii's attack only to feel Cosmo's strong grip around her. She'd been too focused on Jijii to notice Cosmo disappearing on the other side of the room with the help of a very playful and traitorous hound.

Without warning Cosmo lifted her up from the ground onto his shoulder. No matter how hard she struggled, he didn't budge. Cosmo and the two other traitors burst out laughing, watching her struggle against the engineer's strong grip. No matter what, he wouldn't budge. Her fists dropped, Chest heaving with every breath, she gave up and let her fists dropped down his back. There was nothing to do and this was already too much action for the day. She felt the exhaustion weighting on her shoulders.

"Come on, Cap," Jijii cheered, patting her dangling leg, "time for a nap!"

Lucy's eyes remained shut but she managed to grumble a few curse before her lieutenant disappeared with Merryn and Eurwyn. Before she could do anything about it, Cosmo was already carrying her back to her room.

Cosmo walked carefully into the corridor, watching his steps and making sure Lucy's bobbing head didn't touch anything. Lo had warned them before leaving to shop some medicines in town, that the hours Lucy had spent in the Altean pods to heal most of her wounds would affect her in the next few days. Sloppy limbs and dizzy mind, she needed to be watched to make sure nothing would happen to her. Sleepiness was obviously on the list of after effects as well.

Stepping inside the room she shared with Jijii, he stopped in front of the bed, wondering what was the best way to put her down without waking her up.

"You know you can put me down, now?"

It seemed he hadn't been careful enough with the creaking door.

 _What if I don't? Isn't my shoulder comfortable enough?_

"Cosmo…"

 _You really want me to drop you here? The parquet is that appealing to you?_

" _Put_ down, not drop, you barbarian!" Lucy whaled, smacking his back. "You know, nicely and kindly, not like you did earlier!"

 _I've been nothing but nice._

"I nearly died _twice_ today! And all because of you!" she shouted, "Thrice, if we count yesterday's heart attack! How is that nice?!"

 _Poor heart of yours._

"Exactly! Plus, I was in the middle of a serious conversation with Jijii and your intervention was totally uncalled for and…"

 _Jijii called me, though. And she told me to bring you back to bed._

"…since when do you follow what Jijii says?"

 _Since it's what's best for you and that it's also following Lo's instructions. You know, your doc who is nicely and kindly taking care of you?_

Lucy grumbled and Cosmo smirked. He knew how she hated when he used her words against her.

 _Oh. But that's right. You don't need her cause you're 'fine'._

"I _am_ fine!"

 _So I can drop you._

"No!"

 _Why not?_

"Put me down. Slowly."

 _You're no fun._

"Please, Cosmo. My head is spinning I need to get down!"

 _Please, huh?_

"Cosmo put me down already!"

 _Alright._

And with that, Cosmo grabbed her arms and slipped her on his shoulders. A relieved sigh escaped her lips as she finally hit the soft mattress.

"Phew, much better, thank you."

 _I wasn't going to throw you across the room you know?_

"I know."

 _Yet you still made a deal with me._

"Since when?!"

 _You said please, remember?_

"No I didn't."

 _Yes, you did. Too bad for you, now you owe me something._

She rumbled against her pillow. "I hate you. You and your stupid games, I hate you."

 _Love you too~_

Even with her head inside the mattress, Lucy was good at hitting her targets and he earned a pillow to the face. Normally, he would have thrown it back but today he didn't feel like it.

His fingers trembled and he gripped the soft fabric tightly.

No matter how normal he tried to behave, nothing was normal anymore. No matter how many times they'd play like they used to do, no matter how many times they would childishly annoy his each other, it wasn't the same anymore and the truth was, Cosmo no longer knew to behave around her.

What kind of demons did he need to shove away from her mind? He didn't know and it was that that scared him the most. What had those bastards done to her during this month? What else had they used her power for? Turning it against her and using it against her will.

Her time in the healing pods had delayed their confrontation with her and once she had woken up, acting as playful as usual, no one had had the courage to ask her to talk about what had happened. It was Scarlet Kaida's number one rule after all. If someone didn't want to talk about something, they couldn't force them to do so. You always had the power to decide for yourself or _when_ you wanted to talk. Not everyone needed to know. It wasn't a race, and if you wanted to keep it for yourself then that should be your choice too. And no one would blame you for that. This was the kind of safety Scarlet Kaida provided everyone.

Under the half closed shutters' shade, Lucy's silhouette took shape, already rolled up in the bedsheets. Her breathing had slowed down and she had shut her eyes, slowly drifting back to sleep. Like that, she reminded him of Merryn when she slept, tucked in a ball by the foot of a bed or a fireplace. But had she always been so pale? So thin? Had it always been like this? Did that month away from her open his eyes on details he had grown so used to that he didn't notice them anymore?

Sometimes, he himself forgot how young she was. How young they all were.

He felt his guts twist with worry and guilt. Lo had talked to him about it over the passed month. They'd been away, doing their own mission. They couldn't change the past and he shouldn't be blaming himself for stuff he had no control on.

" _Stop thinking about the past and what would have changed if you'd been there,"_ she had said a few weeks ago, grabbing his face between her hand, her gaze as fierce and determined as ever. " _Think of the present where you have the power to do something. We were needed on those planets, our mission wasn't for nothing and now she needs us. We're going to save her, we're going to bring her back and we'll be here for her. Now is not the time to dwell on dark thoughts and what ifs, Cosmo. It's time for action."_

And they had brought her back. But what if it was already too late? He had seen for himself the damage the Galra could do to someone's mind, what could be the consequences of being held captive by them. And she had seen it too, having fought in the Arena. But what if this time the damage was irreversible? What if the Lucy they knew was forever gone?

Another soul crushed and crumbled by their nasty little games.

He felt the anger boiling inside of him, his thoughts echoing the ones of Jijii, desire for revenge and retaliation rising in his mind. The Galra needed to pay, once and for all. They couldn't let that happen ever again. The Scarlet family protected his members and the rage of the angry dragon was the fiercest. Lotor would pay. Cosmo had sworn it once and he didn't intend to break his promise ever more. There was no way around it.

He ran his hands through his hair, trying as hard as he could to put those thoughts away, to be as confident as possible in front of her. She needed to believe that things were fine for them, that everything would be alright. They needed to be strong for what was coming and he couldn't let himself be swallowed by the fear of the unknown again. Not now.

 _I need to stop thinking about it or she'll hear all of it._

"Hear what?" Lucy shifted on the bed and opened her eyes.

 _Nothing_.

Daleen's statement came back to him: " _Lucy shut herself down, she's out of reach."_ Cosmo could only feel his dread grow inside his chest and he heard Lucy's scream from the day before again. Even if she was still communicating with him and listening to the thoughts he sent her, he couldn't feel the light presence in the back of his mind whenever she was nearby. Lucy had indeed shut them all out and the thought sent shivers down his spine. How would they be able to heal that part of her?

Shoving away the sleep from her eyes, Lucy sat back on the bed and stared right through him.

"Cosmo. What is it?"

 _Nothing. Don't worry about it._

His statement had the opposite effect on her and instead of falling back to sleep, Lucy grabbed his wrist and dragged him toward her. Surprised, he barely had the time to extend his other arm to protect himself from the fall. He winced and rubbed his elbow. It turned how the mattress wasn't as soft as he had expected it to be. When he turned back to her, tiredness was gone from her eyes and her big chocolate eyes were staring at him, almost suspicious as she was trying to understand what was going on with him.

He couldn't tell her what was wrong. He couldn't tell her that he was worried about her state, worried about the future battles they still had to fought, worried about her parents and what their arrival would change to her behaviour toward the crew, he couldn't tell her all the things that came to him whenever he thought about what was to come because it wouldn't help her. She needed to rest. She needed to think of something else, and worrying about anyone else but her shouldn't be on her to do list.

Therefore, he needed a distraction. He needed her to focus on something else than his thoughts. His eyes fell on Lo's satchel sitting in the corner of the room and on the different vials on the shelf next to the bed.

 _Say, Luce…_

"Yeah?"

 _Did you take your meds?_

"Of course, I did."

Cosmo rolled his eyes, how could she try to lie to him after all those years? She wasn't even trying to hide it. The lie was written all over her face.

 _What happened to the no lie between us policy, Captain?_

"It's not lying if I did take my meds. Just… not today."

 _Yeah well that's the thing about treatments. You have to take them all the time._

Her head dropped back inside her pillow. "Why," she whined, "I don't need them. I'm all good."

 _You'll be even better after taking them. I'm sure they're not that bad._

"You naive little human," she grunted. "It tastes like death itself. I'm sure Lo did it on purpose. She basically hates me now, I'm sure."

Cosmo smiled, if Drama Lucy was here then maybe there was hope for her future recovery. He jumped from the mattress and went to retrieve an empty glass, pouring inside Lo's preparation. It didn't have any particular smell but its appearance wasn't inspiring anything good at all. He quickly turned back with a bright toothy smile on his face and handed her the weird mixture.

 _Time for your medicine!_

"Is that really necessary?" Lucy whined as she took the glass, "I feel a lot better, I swear."

 _Drink._

Out of mercy, Cosmo kept himself from making fun of her and the grimace she made as she drank in one gulp the green liquid. He grabbed the bowls of ointment left on the bedside table and turned back to her. Even if she was chatting like everything was normal, he couldn't focus on anything else but her hollowed eyes and the gloomy shadow that lingered there. The fresh and frosty smell of the cream tickled Cosmo's nose. He put a dollop in his palm and rubbed it energetically as Lo had taught him.

 _At least this one smells good._

"It better!" Lucy scoffed as he started to apply it on her collarbone. "It's supposed to help me breath, not puke."

 _And there comes sarcasm. I know you hate being stuck in that room but you know what Lo said…_

"Yes, I know," she said, rolling her eyes, "Heal first, run after."

Cosmo smirked with approval and watched as she inhaled deeply. He could see from the way her shoulders relaxed, that she was already feeling the soothing effect of the plants. He grabbed the other bowl from which a much stronger scent escaped. Blue tansy and peppermint, if he recalled Lo's words correctly.

"Minty and camphoraceous are apparently the adapted words to describe its smell."

Cosmo tilted his head and as he started to apply the ointment on her neck and wrists, she explained to him how Lo had ranted about the differents plants and their effects the day before.

"She dragged me back here so I would rest and heal like the responsible patient I was supposed to be. She talked for hours and told me it was my punishment for not listening to her cautions. She took pleasure in explaining me _everything_."

 _What a horrible torture, I'm sure._

"I didn't mind it to be honest… It felt good to hear her voice again…"

Cosmo's hand stopped, feeling the shudder ran through her skin as her voice dropped.

"I've missed it," she whispered. Her head dropped against his chest. She was shaking again. "I've missed it all so bad."

 _We've missed you too, Captain._

She remained in his arms for a while, not saying anything anymore. He didn't mind it, silence had never felt uncomfortable when he was with her. They had spent so much time together over the years, often watching the midnight sky together when their nightmares kept them both awake that quietness almost felt therapeutic. However, he felt the urge to talk again when his eyes fell on the pile of bandages on the shelf and the tainted one in the trash. Lucy healed fast and had spent times in the pods, she shouldn't be bleeding anymore.

 _Lucy. What are those bandages for?_

"It's nothing to be worried about."

 _If you say it like that it makes me think that there's all the reasons to be worried._

"No, there isn't."

 _Lo told us you were doing okay, that you only needed a few pills and meds for now so what are those? Why do you need them you're supposed to be healed now?_

Cosmo felt dread and incomprehension melt inside his heart. Lo couldn't have lied to them, right?

"I told her not to tell you. She's bound to medical secrecy after all."

 _Lucy, what are you talking about?_

"Like I said, nothing to be worried about."

 _If you decided to use the medical secrecy card with Lo then that means it was something she would have wanted to talk about and warn us. So there is something and you better talk. Now._

"Fine!"

But instead of talking, Lucy lifted the side of her shirt and exposed her left side. Just under her ribs, a deep purple bruise had spread on her skin, surrounding a very nasty scar.

Cosmo's ocean eyes flooded with concern as he inspected the damage. She hated that look.

"That would be Ezor's doing. She stabbed me when we attacked Central Command."

Cosmo hated the bored tone she used when talking about such a worrisome wound. If it had indeed been back during their attack on Zarkon's headquarters then it should have healed by now. Her powers and genetics should have worked their magic and she surely shouldn't be needing stitches at this point.

 _Why? Why didn't you tell us?_

"Because of this!" She pointed at his worried and panicked self. "Because of the worry I see in everyone's expressions! It's nothing. It will heal, eventually. Just… slower."

 _Why isn't it healed already?!_

"Because of their stupid sparkling kryptonite."

 _Kryptonite?_

"Yes. It's a weird white blue-ish stone they used. It keeps me from using my powers and that's how they… controlled me. They all had a stone on them, wearing it like a necklace so I couldn't hear their thoughts. That's why I didn't feel Lotor and his soldiers in that room. That's why I didn't suspected Ezor when she was hiding among the people we rescued at the prison. That's how she got her hands on our data. That's how they knew when we'd attack. All of it is because of that stupid kryptonite."

 _You aren't stupid. But did you really use the word kryptonite right now?_

"I did, yes."

 _I thought you hated comics._

"I like comics, it's just Superman who's dumb."

 _Superman is dumb? That's new._

"Who puts his underwear on his pants, Cosmo? I don't see you doing that, right? Because it is stupid."

 _It's more like thighs actually._

"Even worse!" she shrieked, holding her hands in front of her as she got intense about the whole debate. Eventually, her hands fell to her lap and her gaze lingered on the half shut window and the landscape taking shape on the horizon. "But anyway, guess I'll have to thank him."

 _Why?_

"Because I kept thinking about it whenever I saw them and that stone. It was the only thing I could think about, almost making me feel sane. Which probably sounded like the country to them as I kept thinking about that weird foreign word that didn't belong to anything in their records."

Lucy scoffed but joy didn't reached her eyes. They became dull, as if she was living those moments all over again.

"Eventually, they gave up trying to erase it from my thoughts and moved on. But I didn't. I don't know how to explain it to you, you'll probably think it's dumb, but when I was in that cell, when I realized I was losing myself to the point of forgetting who I was, that word was here. I couldn't remember my own name but that word was there. I didn't know what it meant but it felt familiar on my lips. It made me feel safe and at home. Something that was just as foreign as the word seemed to be to me."

 _It's not dumb, Lucy. It's anything but that. I'm glad you had that word to hold onto because it's probably because of it that you're still with us. And that? Is far from dumb._

"Thanks…"

Her eyes hadn't left the window. Outside, the trees moved with the morning wind in a soothing pattern of shaking branches. It was as if Lucy preferred to focus on the shaking leaves rather than on her own trembling fingers.

"I'm scared, Cosmo. I'm terrified of what's ahead. And seeing you all here… I can feel in my chest how everything changed. I hate being so weak, being so needy. Am I even worthy of being your Captain? I don't even feel like I'm needed here anymore…"

Cosmo grabbed her shoulders and stared at her. Her gaze darted in the other direction, refusing to look at him. He grabbed her chin and forced her to do so. He couldn't allow such thoughts to make their way inside her brain.

 _Don't say that. Ever. You're Lucy Fair, Captain of the Scarlet Kaida and no one is allowed to say the contrary. Especially yourself. I won't allow simply can't say that._

"But, Cosmo… Everyone is so independant now and…"

 _And nothing. You're needed here._ God, he wished he could scream. _No. You don't understand, Luce. While you were gone, this place went to shit. No one could understand me if I signed, Jijii was constantly disagreeing with everyone because your ass wasn't here to… do whatever you do. I went_ days _without seeing anyone_. _Don't spit that bullshit because you are the one who brings this whole crew together. We need you._ I _need you._

Her mouth hung open, eyes wide. Looking back into her familiar chocolate eyes filled a missing piece in his chest. Weeks on end he would go without being seen by anyone, heck he hardly remembered those days, and one look at Lucy Kyra, captain of the Scarlet Kaida, tugged at his broken pieces. No one had this affect on him, not even Geo.

"You need _me_?" her voice cracked. "I almost killed you."

 _Almost being the key word in that sentence, Lucy._

"Cosmo, you can't push it like that, as if it was nothing!"

 _Watch me._

"You can't take that subject so lightly."

 _Stop blaming yourself for that, it wasn't you._

"Yes, it was! I'm the one who threw the bloody spear! That was _my_ doing."

 _You had no intentions to kill me, Lucy. You had no control over your body_.

"You don't get it. Your blood would have been on my hands. If-"

 _Stop it, stop thinking about it. There's no need for you to do so._

"I can't… I can't take it anymore, Cosmo."

Lucy's voice was ragged and hoarse and he felt her shoulders shake with every of her words. His grip tightened around her and he put his head on hers, trying as hard as he could to find words that would calm her down. She was silent for another moment as she tried to take back her breathing.

"As soon as I close my eyes, I see his yellow stare piercing through me and I freeze. I can't move, I can't breathe. And if it's not him… It's all the nightmares that come flashing back. I see blood on Sammy's hands, I see flames eating Scarlet's walls, I see a bullet Jijii can't avoid, I see the glint of a sword you can't dodge. I see your bodies falling to the ground. You were dead, Cosmo. You were all dead."

Her cheeks still wet, she shifted in his his arms and faced him, her nails digging into her palms as she kept on going. Her hands aggressively moved on her face, desperately trying to shove away the tears that kept falling.

 _It wasn't real, Luce._ He kept repeating the words in his head, knowing she'd be listening. _It wasn't real._

"Part of me knows it wasn't but when I try to convince the other half that they were all dreams, things they made me see, illusions created from my deepest fears… I hear the gunshot and I feel Alan's bond snapping in my head. I hear the dull sound of Deandra's corpse crashing to the ground. I hear your scream and I see your blood on the ground. I see over and over again Atlantis exploding in front of my eyes and I can't do anything about it. Silence and darkness swallow me whole and it's like I'm skinned alive. And then… Then it starts all over again."

Cosmo felt his own fists tightening as she kept on going with her tale. Tears kept rushing down her face, waterfalls slipping through the cracks of the broken armor.

"So no, Cosmo. I cannot stop thinking about it. Those nightmares are everywhere. And even if I know most of them are illusions, made up memories, I know some them aren't. I know Atlantis is gone. I know Deandra and Alan and so many others won't come back. And I know I'm responsible for all of that."

 _You aren't._

"I know I am. Because I was their captain. And it was my duty to protect them. And I failed. I keep failing battles after battles, missions after missions. I'm weak. I'm _too_ weak. If I was stronger, Deandra wouldn't be gone. I would have heard that soldier's intentions before she was hit. If I was stronger, Alan wouldn't have felt the need to protect me. If I was stronger, Lotor wouldn't have been able to win against me. Atlantis wouldn't be gone, I wouldn't have betrayed everyone, I wouldn't have compromise all our work, and I wouldn't have send that spear your way."

 _Lucy, stop, you didn't…_

"I did it, Cosmo! Stop trying to protect me from the truth. Stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself!" Her fingers hovered on his shoulder where his fresh scar lied underneath his shirt. "I did that. I did that to you, no one else did. It wasn't Lotor, or Narti, or anyone else. It was _me_. And if Jijii's skin is already healed, I know I hurt her too. You two… You mean the world to me and… Knowing I did all that, knowing I could have lost you both… It's more than I can bear…"

Cosmo grabbed her hands and put them over his chest. Her hiccups stopped for a second, surprised by his gesture. He knew she could feel his heartbeat under his shirt.

 _We're alive. You're alive. You're not alone anymore._

He didn't like to see her so broken. Lucy never cried in public, and even when they were alone in her office or in the rare occasion she talked about her own nightmares, about the Arena, about everything they had went through, she always managed to control herself.

He wasn't used to see her like that and so he did the only thing he could think of and wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders, chanting his words like a prayer inside her mind.

 _I am here. I am okay._

 _You're safe._

 _You're home._

Her arms slowly looped themselves around his waist and he heard her shaky breath slow down, her tears finally stopped falling down his neck. As soon as she had calmed down completely, she sat back against the headrest and remained silent. She had kept his hand in hers and was following the lines in his palm with her fingertips, sometimes tracing random shapes and curves inside his hand.

He was the first to break the silence.

 _Now, Lucy. Tell me you've used your powers since you came back._

"Huh? Why?" She didn't look up as she replied.

 _Have you? I don't care whether it was to create a fluffy blanket or a punching ball. I want to know if you used them since._

"I don't see why it matters."

Cosmo didn't like to see how her eyes seemed to focus harder on his hand as if to avoid his eyes.

 _Have you? Have you used your powers? It's a simple question, Luce. No trick answers._

"Why does it matter, anyway!?"

Cosmo 's fingers closed around Lucy's hand and he pressed his forehead against her, closing his eyes as he explained to her.

 _It matters because I don't want you to be stuck in those memories. It matters because I don't want you to persuade yourself that your powers can only do bad things and hurt people. It matters because I don't want you to forget how it's because of your powers that we're all here, that we were able to smile and keep fighting for all those years._

"Cosmo…"

 _It matters because I don't want you to forget that it's because of those powers that I, as well as Sammy, Jijii, Merryn, and so many others, are alive. It matters because I don't want you to forget that it's because of those powers that I haven't lost my voice completely. It matters because it's thanks to those powers, thanks to you, that we all have a home now._

A sob broke past her lips.

 _Nope, no more tears._

"Right."

 _Enough for the day, am I right?_

"Enough for the next hundreds of years you mean."

 _It's okay to cry, Lucy._

"Yeah, I know, I'll feel better afterward or whatever."

 _Exactly_.

As he shoved away with a thumb the tears that were threatening to fall again, light caught in the little silver medals on his left wrist. Newt to his watch, attached to a blue and green woven string, a circle, a star and a dragon's head glinted in the sun. Long ago, Lucy had created those bracelets for them and to this day, him, Jijii and Sammy wore them all the time. Cosmo was taken aback by Lucy's reaction at the sight of it. She seemed almost shocked.

 _What is it?_

"Your bracelet…"

 _What about it?_

"You still have it."

 _Of course, I do._

"But Lo… she told me all the objects I had created disappeared over the last days. That it was how you knew something bad was happening. It should be gone, why is it still here?"

 _Because you are. Because you're strong and you're home and no longer in danger. Nor are you a danger to anyone. Never._ He raised her chin and forced her to look at him into the eyes. _Okay?_

"Okay."

 _Say it._

"I'm home, I'm safe, I'm strong and I'm not a danger to anyone."

Cosmo smiled and messed with the bangs that had fallen in front of her blood shot eyes. _Good_.

Before she was able to say anything back, however, her belly suddenly started to growl.

Cosmo stared back at her with wide eyes. A deep blush had spread over her cheeks and her hands rushed to her face to cover her embarrassment.

 _You didn't eat, did you?_

She shrugged. "Oops."

 _Don't oops me._

"It's just that I went to the kitchen to feed Merryn and then I started to prepare something for everyone but I wanted to bring Jijii her coffee and then, the whole thing with Eurwyn happened and…"

 _Damn it, Lucy, you gotta take care of yourself!_

"Hehe, sorry."

 _Don't hehe me either._

A laugh escaped her lips and she stuck her tongue at him.

 _¡Dios mío! You are such a exhausting child, what am I going to do with you?_

"I'm older than you, so if I'm a kid then you are too, stupid."

 _Don't think so. You're barely twenty and I'm twenty two. You know you need to leave the math to people who can actually do it._

"Years on Atlantis are longer than they're on Earth and you know it."

 _Doesn't matter, Little Miss, you're smol. Accept it._

"Whatever."

She rolled her eyes, a slight blush still showing in her cheeks. If he still could, Cosmo would have laughed at the sight. Lucy trying to act all tough and mature was one of his favorite thing, especially when she was trying to keep herself from puffing her cheeks and crossing her arms on her chest.

 _Come on, sweet cap, I'm gonna grab you something to eat. You better stay in bed or I'll unleash the Red Fury on you._

"Oh, no!" Lucy laughed, faking her terror.

 _You don't want Jijii to act full Mom Friend and Mama Bear on you right?_

"No." This time realization hit her eyes and she looked back at him, playfulness gone from her face. "Okay. I'll stay put and I'll wait for the really nutritive food and not that horrible space goo Lo wants me to eat."

 _I'll see what I can 't think I'll be able to make Quesadillas, though._

"Guess I'll starve then," she shrugged.

He huffed and sprang to his feet, reaching for the door.

"Whatever you cook though, make a huge plate of it because I'm in need."

 _Right_.

"Just make sure not to burn the kitchen."

 _Ha, you wish,_ He winked back at her, _But my name isn't Lucy Fair._

This time, the pillow crashed against the closed door but Cosmo heard Lucy's grumble nonetheless. Smiling at her silliness he strolled to the kitchen with one and only thing in mind: Lucy would recover.

He knew it'd be a long journey for her to learn and go back to a semblance of normality but he knew she could do it because behind the crying eyes, he knew his captain was still here and she was strong. Lucy, as she liked to say it, always came back home and crossed all the obstacles the universe sent her way. She was strong, she would recover.

Scarlet Kaida motto came back to him. _Stand tall. Keep fighting. Don't falter._

Lucy would cross that obstacle too and, as always, they'd be by her side to help her. Because if she was their captain and wanted to protect them, it was their duty to survive and support her in the rough seas. Scarlet Kaida was a big family and like Jijii had told the crew, they'd never give up on anyone.

When he finally stepped into the kitchen, after a month of nothingness, he felt it again. Lucy's reassuring presence in the back of his head, as warm as a ray of sunlight. When Jijii turned back to him with a smile on her face, he knew she had felt it too.

Lucy was back.

A/N : More lumos content : Querencia? found the word on Pinterest. I knew i had some home related word pin saved in my files and when i found it and looked for the word on the internet so i didn't have to type it, i found this : "Origins; Spanish, literally 'lair, home ground', from querer 'desire, love', from Latin quaerere 'seek'." it's spanish (hello cosmo is mexican and spanish is his mother tongue) and it has some love related meaning SO AY WHAT YOU WANT BUT COINCIDENCE MAKES GREAT TITLE (okay i'm out)

I was about to say 'hey but at least that chapter wasn't angsty and you got a lot of happy lumos content but then i remembered how lucy spends most of the chap feeling like crap and crying and how it's totally not the fluff you all are loking for :')

 **Find me on Insta: little_dragon_writes / Tumblr : bookstvseriesandanimes (also on tumblr as little-dragon-writes but i'm just not really active on it and just post chap links there, the real voltron reblog content happens heres lol)**


	24. Bloodline

_**first of all: hello i'm back! If you're reading this, thank you for being patient enough and waiting for sk this long (officially a month today oops) : as you may know i've been free since april and have only done writing ever since and i think i suffered the backlash of it. i wrote more than 30k in june and then july was the worst (even if i wrote more than 20k i just wasn't feeling it and the last weeks were horrible i couldn't be happy with anything. I rewrote the beginning of that chap so many times you don't even know. I had to force myself to relax, think of soemthing else. i finally managed. worked on other stff, read books, binged read some awesome webtoons and watched some amazing series too. I don't feel bad anymore for waiting until now to post this chap because i know i had to wait until i felt better and took a break. i couldn't be more happier with that chap and i have TO THANK THE HELL OUT OF my two awesome friends spegetty and ionica01 from tumblr who helped me make this chapter even more better in the past few days. It took me weeks to write that chapter, weeks of blank page and hating on every words i wrote and yet the other day i finally settled down, and it spilled on my screen as if nothing. Write nearly 3k that day, finishing the chap in one go.**_  
 _ **I used to fell bad and stressed a few days ago because today is a very special day and i had hoped i'd be done with SK by then. Today i'm not posting SK's latest chapters as i had planned and that's okay. i have accepted it. I need to stop putting pressure on myself for nothing and take my time and appreciate the great news :**_

 _ **BECAUSE TODAY? is the 17th August. And a year ago, 17th august 2017, 11pm according to my notes (wrote it down cause usually crazy prompt happend past 3 am so that was a shocker for me lmao) Scarlet Kaida's prompt was born. I couldn't be more proud and impressed with myself that a year later, i kept writing it, that even after a month of writing block i haven't give up on it - and have no intention of doing so thank you very much - that i reached 140k with that story [CRAZY I KNOW] and no way near finished (a few chapters remain and with uni starting a gain in september it might be tricky - or even more productive writing months we never know).**_

 _ **Anyway all i want to say is thank you. Never thought that a year later I'd still be writing that silly prompt and that people would still be reading it or writing and drawing stuff inspired by Scarlet Kaida. I'm happy I'm able to make my friends smile with this story, I'm happy those bunch of OCs we created together made our friendship even stronger, I'm SO FUCKING PROUD IM ABLE TO BREAK THOSE SAME FRIENDS'S HEART WITH MY WRITING YOU HAVE NO IDEA MWAHAHHAHA BEST THING EVER and I'm also thankful to the people who decided to give Scarlet Kaida a try even if they had no idea what the hell that silly space pirate prompt was about.**_

 _ **I hope you'll stick with me until the end but for now? Thank you for being there, reading and supporting me with your kind words and own creativity!**_

 _ **If you haven't already please :**_  
 _ **\- read Jijii's backstory on Jijii's ao3 account Julie_Teerah_Eterna**_  
 _ **\- read the different Lumos stories ionica01 wrote on here too (i have to wait december as a punition for all the angst i made her read but SHELL SPAM US WITH LOTS OF LUMOS CONTENT DURING MY BDAY MONTH SO CHRISTMAS IS COMING KIDS)**_  
 _ **\- read Aria's backstory or her reconciliation with Cosmo written by PookElucy here on ao3**_  
 _ **\- give love to the Scarlet Kaida inspired drawing pookelucy and made (both on tumblr)**_  
 _ **\- and if she ever post them on ao3 (and i hope she will) give love to the lumos stories and AUs spegetty wrote!**_

 _ **THANK YOU AGAIN MY FRIENDS YOU ARE THE BEST AND MOST TALENTED CREW EVER I LOVE YOU**_

 _ **And if anyone is still reading that endless author note then thank you too, go read now, i'll stop rambling 33**_

* * *

 **WARNING: in this chap i refer to Jijii's past. You'll have more obvious hints and explanation in the next chapter but her backstory is already written and posted on ao3 and written by irl Jijii and posted on her account. You'll still be able to understand even if you don't read it but i'd appreciate if you did cause she's amazing and the backstory she made for her OC in my world is great and i love her so GO READ HERE (and leave her your thoughts in the comments 3) :** /works/14837061/chapters/34340700

* * *

Propped against her pillows, Lucy grabbed Cosmo's backpack from where it lay abandoned on the ground and pulled out her tablet from it. It had been a while since she had last used it and hundreds of messages blinked on her homescreen as she brought it to life, welcoming her as she swiped to unlock. It seemed she'd have a few more war council to catch up on - it was nice, feeling needed and wanted. It made it easier to hide from the painful memories haunting her.

But Lucia and the other leaders could wait. Now wasn't time to worry about them. There were more urgent things to attend to. And if recovering was one of them, at least according to Lo and everyone else, checking on the remaining members of her family seemed more important to her at the moment.

However, instead of seeing Natsilane or Tori like she had expected, the curious face of her four years old goddaughter appeared on her screen. The child had grown even more in the past year and a few more teeth were missing in action as Maggie shot a big bright smile at her. That somehow just made the beam all the more endearing, and Lucy's chest swelled with the warmth of the affection and pride she felt for her little angel.

"Captain!"

"Hello, Maggie! Excuse my surprise, I didn't quite expected you to answer my call."

The little girl sheepishly smiled at her, dimples shifting into an even more innocent smile. "Mom says I'm too curious. I just touched the button and… poof."

"Curiosity has always been the best trait among my crew, my dear."

Maggie laughed at Lucy's wink, dimples deepening in her chubby cheeks. Lucy felt like squashing them through the screen. "I'm happy you're here now!"

"I'm happy to be back too, darling. Is everything okay for you? I heard you were sick not so long ago."

"Don't worry!" Maggie showed off her arm in a attempt of proving her strength, "I won against the big bad viruses! I'm a strong dragon like you!"

"You sure are, scarlet girls aren't meant to stay in bed all day. I'm proud of you!"

"Really?"

"Of course I am, you'll never cease to impress me!"

"Did big bro impress you too?"

"Sammy?" Lucy blinked at the conspiratorial tone the small child adopted - where had she picked that up? The kids grew so much while she was away, it made her realize she had a lot of catching up to do.

"Daddy said mommy wasn't mad but…"

"Don't worry about him," Lucy smiled, bringing back the big grin on Maggie's face right away. "Sammy isn't in trouble. He helped out a lot and your mom is very proud of him. Though I've heard he's not allowed any chocolate for a whole week. He disobeyed after all."

"Big bro is grounded!" Maggie giggled, spinning on the chair as she did so. It wasn't often that she could witness the Scarlet Boy getting into troubles.

"However, I know someone else who might follow the same fate." The spinning stopped in a split second. "Because stop me if I'm wrong but I don't believe you're allowed in this room, Maggie, right?"

"Oops?" The girl might have grown up, but she still lacked the acting skills to feign perfect innocence. Maybe Lucy still had things to teach her after all.

"Especially not at this hour. You're supposed to be in bed, sweetie."

Maggie giggled.

"Let's make a deal," Lucy suggested.

"Yes?" Her eyebrows arched, suddenly enraptured by having a secret with her godmother.

"I'm gonna end the call now, enough for you to hurry back to your bed and sleep a little - or fake it the best you can - and then I'll call again and hopefully your dad will answer this time. So you don't get into trouble. Deal?"

"Deal!"

"Off you go, then!" She winked in her direction, feeling the warmth in her chest again. The Scarlet Children had always had that power over her. Smiling was always easy around them, they had the power to make her forget all her worries, even for one small second.

"Bye bye, captain!"

"Good night, Maggie!"

Jijii heard the sound of Sammy's footsteps on the grass behind her before he could reach her. Judging by the the absence of cracking branches, he was alone - Merryn hadn't come with him. The hound had probably remained by Lucy's door as she had been resolved to keep watch over her and protect her from anyone, revealing sharp fangs to anyone who seemed suspicious or dared disturb Lucy's rest. Since Lucy had woken up the day before, Merryn had barely let anyone inside. She had become Lucy's ultimate bodyguard.

Jijii smiled, turning to the other side to face the young boy. He had traded his usual brown pants for a pair of shorter grey jeans and was wearing one of his blue t-shirt above it. His jacket was tied around his waist, a new fashion style inspired by the already unbearable morning heat.

"You still have some training to do if you want to become a real ninja, my dear Tsiry."

"I… I wanted to talk about something with you." His shifting feet and tensed shoulders clued her in on the fact that whatever he wanted to talk about was serious. She patted the dry spot of grass on her side and he took her offer in silence, as if waiting for her to speak first, even though he had been the one to come to her.

Jijii caged the sigh bubbling out of her, clenching her jaw to keep it in. The Scarlet family was a lost cause and none of them liked to talk or start conversations. For once, she made an effort and focused her gaze on the blurry horizon as she asked, "What is it, Sam?"

He was quiet, which was not like him. "It's about Lucy."

"Is something the matter?" asked Jijii.

"No! Well, not really anyway…"

"If there's something bothering you then it does matter." Jijii narrowed her eyes, but kept them on the horizon - he needed to come out of his comfort zone by himself.

"Is… Is she going to be alright?"

Jijii didn't hesitate when answering, "Lucy is strong."

"I know, but… She keeps smiling and laughing and yet… I heard her screaming last night. I didn't want her to worry about that so I didn't tell her when she asked. I know she doesn't want me to know that she isn't okay but…"

Finally unable to keep the sigh in, Jijii whipped her head from the bright colors of the sky and looked Sammy in the eyes. "It's not like that. She knows you're a big boy now, knows you can understand things as well as the others, but she can't tell you stuff she doesn't want to admit to herself yet."

"She tries to be happy in front of us but I heard her crying earlier. She was screaming at Cosmo too." He hugged his knees to his chest, avoiding Jijii's look.

"Ah well," Jijii joked, shrugging, "Maybe that idiot said some stupid things again. Who knows."

"His goal for today was to make her laugh, not cry," Sammy pointed out, playing with the dry leaves in front of him. They crumbled in tiny pieces between his fingers.

"True."

Jijii recalled how Lucy's shoulders were constantly tensed from being on edge every minute, like her worries roped around her and scrunched her shoulders together. It was as if even if she knew she was with them, knew she was safe, she still relied on her instincts and jumped at every noise. Her hand was always close to her pocket, ready to throw that hidden blade of hers even when there were no signs of harm. She was like a frightened animal freed from a circus into the wild again.

Jijii had no doubt her confrontation with Cosmo would have positive consequences on her mindset. If Jijii hadn't been able to truly open Lucy's eyes the day before, then maybe Cosmo would. He was the one Lucy felt like she had hurt and betrayed the most, after all. Lucy needed to hear the words only he could tell.

"Is she going to leave us?" Sammy blurted.

Sammy's sudden question sent an electroshock down Jijii's spine, making her jolt upright. She shivered under the protection of her cape, and asked the question she dreaded to hear the answer to, "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Sammy's voice trembled as he spoke, broke around the edges like shattered crystal, "Now that her real family is back, maybe… Maybe she'll want to go with them."

Jijii felt the threat of her own anxiety overwhelm her. She could feel Sammy's stare on her, waiting to be reassured, waiting for her to tell him that what he thought wasn't the truth. That his beloved Mama Lu wouldn't leave him behind again. But how could she speak those words, anchor them in the certainty and weight words confered them, when she herself feared the same? They had just retrieved her from Lotor's grasp but now that she was also reunited with her long lost family, there was nothing they could do to keep her from leaving them if she wanted to.

"Is that selfish? Am I selfish if I want her to stay with us forever?"

"Of course, you aren't!" Jijii wrapped him in her arms. His small fists let go of his knees and dug into her cape, clutching around the red fabric. "It's normal for you to feel that way."

And I feel the same, she almost added. But she couldn't tell him that. It would be like acknowledging that his fears were well-founded and she couldn't do that to him. But inside, she was just as terrified he was.

Even if she liked to think of her that way, the real Lucy wasn't the little sister of her dreams she protected from everything and everyone. She couldn't ask her to stay with them, with her, and she knew deep inside that being back with her family was the best thing for Lucy.

Eurwyn. Daleen. Elden.

They were Lucy's true family. They shared the same blood and Lucy had believed for all this years that she'd never get to meet them again. And Jijii now knew how Lucy had suffered from that loss, tears she never shed fueling her up in battle, a potion more powerful than anything the Galra could throw her way. Even if Jijii didn't know at the time what Lucy's heart was aching for -Lucy having kept the secret of her past from them all along- she could now understand her captain's situation.

Lucy had believed for all those years that she'd never get to hold her brother again, had believed her parents had fallen with Atlantis but now, as miraculous as it sounded, she was given another shot at life. She could go with them, make up for all the years that had been taken away from her. They could build new memories together, finally write the story of the life they deserved.

If given the same chance, Jijii herself didn't know which path she'd take. What would she do if she was given the same opportunity to be surrounded by the persons she loved most? What would she decide if it meant holding them against her chest all over again? If she could, even for one last time, smell the scent of their hair tickling her nose, feel their beating, living heart against her palm. Hear their laughter. See their lively smile.

They were her brothers, her soulmates. The three of them were meant to stay together all their life, but destiny had chosen another path for them, and she was left with a gaping hole inside her chest. They had been taken away from her.

Iloniainas weren't meant to be apart from each other.

Jijii adjusted her hands around Sammy's shoulders.

There was no second chance for her.

Their blood was on her hands.

They'd never be reunited and the only thing she could do to redeem herself was to protect Lucy and spare her from the same gruesome fate they had met. If letting her go was the thing that would help her heal, that would keep her alive, then she would let go. Hell, Jiji would push Lucy back in her parent's arms if needed.

Lucy needed to be protected at all cost. She had been offered a second chance, and Jijii couldn't be so selfish as to strip her of Fate's kindness. That was her mission as her lieutenant and friend. She couldn't allow the scenario of the past month to repeat itself.

Jijii wasn't sure whether she could handle behind left behind once more, but that fear was childish compared to the one of Lucy captured again in that monster's hands. She'd trade places with her Captain in a heartbeat if it meant Lucy could avoid the nightmares and scars the passed month had left on her. Therefore, if getting Lucy away from them, from the crew she held so dear, was the way to protect her from harm, then Jijii would gladly accept to be separated from her. She'd gladly shoulder Lucy's pain alone, just to see her smile her earnest smile, the one that reached her eyes and wrinkled her nose, the one that sent stars dancing in her chocolate eyes. The smile that gave Jijii the strength to move mountains.

Maybe for once, Eurwyn and I will agree on something then.

She scoffed at her own thoughts. Only Sammy's curious look brought her back to reality.

"Sammy, I don't know what Lucy will decide. It's her choice after all if she wants to go back with them, we can never go against that, but there is no way that she doesn't consider you part of her family. She'd do anything to be with you and see you happy."

The thought of her lost ones left a burning sting in her heart, but their words came back to her. She used to be trapped inside the same anxious thoughts as Sammy when she was a kid, always afraid the people she loved would leave one day and find another family, leaving her behind.

She almost smiled at the irony - hundreds of years later, she was much the same.

When those nightmarish thoughts used to come to haunt her, they would draw her closer, the both of them holding her tight as they whispered reassuring words inside her ear. Speaking with their softest voice, fingers slowly running through her hair in a soothing dance.

"I'm going to tell you something, Sammy. Something someone really important once told me." She cupped his smaller face between her calloused hands and brushed a thumb over his eyelashes, where a tear threatened to fall. "No matter what, no matter the distance, we are family and nothing will ever change that. Maybe we will take different paths, but we will never stop being a family, we will never stop sharing the wild memories of our lives together."

She pressed her forehead against his.

"And even if you aren't from Lucy's planet, my planet, even if you aren't Atlantean, the invisible thread tying soulmates and families together can never be broken, not even by death." Pain and grief tainted her every word, but she still ripped those fragments of her soul and laid them bare in front of the boy. The darkest moments of her life flashed before her eyes. Even the simple thought of their names was like plunging her sword through her heart.

"You will always find your way back home, Tsiry."

She thought of their last words. Of her promise to Lucy.

"The universe will make sure of it. I will make sure of it."

Stand tall. Keep fighting. Don't falter.

Lucy nodded at Natsilane, jotting notes of everything he had told her in her journal. The Galra soldiers were moving. The Scarlet Kaida needed to be prepared when the Empire would decide to strike. Lucy dared to hope they'd be able to strike first. The Galra were nothing without their ruler. She had witnessed it first hand, if it wasn't for Lotor taking over right after Zarkon's death -or rather, murder- the Galra organisation would have crumbled on its own.

Because whatever strength Zarkon brought to the Empire, his ego and will to control everything had become the Empire's greatest weakness. The Galra Empire wasn't like the creatures in those myths, for two heads wouldn't grow after you'd managed to get rid of one. Therefore, the Coalition's and Alliance's attacks were important and useful but they needed a mission on a larger scale if they wanted to put down the Empire once and for all.

It had nearly worked, back then at Central Command…

But Lotor isn't like his father, we'll need another strategy.

She'd have to find time to work better on her strategy to annihilate the Galra, maybe ask Aria to send words to her spies around the galaxy and give special orders to Aeris' units as well. The paladins' strength should also be taken into account, as well as the power of the Altean castle.

"Captain?"

Lucy jumped in her seat, so embedded in her thoughts she hadn't realized she had lost track of the conversation. "Sorry, Nat. I was just thinking and then I forgot everything around me."

"It's fine, Tori does that all the time," he laughed. "More dangerous when she does it when she's cooking but don't worry here, no harm done."

"Speaking of Tori, they left a note saying they were on their way to the inn." Lucy ignored the urge to look down.

"Yes, Tori called me earlier, they'll be there soon. The kids are already getting ready."

Smiling, she knew exactly how those kids felt. "I bet Maddie and Maggie are excited to see their mother again."

"For sure, they've got a lot of adventures to tell her about!"

"I'm sorry Tori had to leave. If it wasn't for me, none of that would have happened." She tried to conceal the anger directed at herself in her words - weak, that's what she had been. What she hated to be.

"And leave the others alone when that bastards had you? Come on, don't stay silly things like that."

"But-"

Natsilane cut her off with the same firm voice he used to tell his children something wasn't up for debate, "Seriously, Captain. She's fine and you are too. That's all that matters."

"Fine," Lucy sighed, giving up for the day. It seemed no one was ready to let her apologize for everything that had happened because of her. Her eyes caught something behind Natsilane and she smiled. Drawings. All over the wall. She'd recognize Tara's style anywhere, yet she still asked, "Did Tara draw those?"

Natsilane snorted as he observed them with a fond smile. "Yes, don't think the kid has seen Spring before. Winter was pretty rude this year, I think she's persuaded the snow will come back soon and she wants to put all the colors on paper before they're gone from the trees."

"Adorable," Lucy swooned. The little blonde girl was the youngest of the Scarlet Children and, just like the others, she'd do anything for them. She was grateful Natsilane could give them a home and a peaceful environment for the time being - she wouldn't have forgotten herself, if something were to happen to the children. "Guess I'll have to ask Ash to find another box of colored pencils when she goes to the mall again."

"Probably," he laughed.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door of her room.

"Sorry, Nat, I'll have to hang up now. I'm glad I was able to talk to you and see everyone's okay."

"Same here, Cap. Be careful, though," he winked. "Too many pranksters around you these days."

She laughed and nodded, closing the opened tab as her mother stepped inside.

"Mom?"

"I hope I'm not bothering you, sweetheart," Daleen said, almost questioning, as she softly closed the door behind her.

"No, don't worry. I was just checking some stuff with Natsilane but I'm good now," Lucy reassured her with a small shrug.

"Natsilane… He's Victoria's husband, correct?"

"Yes, Tori and Nat used to live with us on Scarlet Kaida but when Tori got pregnant they decided to settle down and become spies instead. I didn't want them to endanger their lives more than necessary."

"So they use their inn as a decoy to collect information?"

"Yep," Lucy said proudly, shifting on the mattress to make more room for her mother.

"Pretty smart," Daleen smiled in return.

"Told you the hours I spent with Anna behind books would end up useful."

"Never doubted it," Daleen smiled, sitting on the bed in front of her daughter.

Lucy still had a hard time believing her mother was here. After all those years, after everything that had happened and Atlantis' destruction not so long ago, she had believed them dead. She had been stripped from any possibility to grieve them because of Narti's control, but the Galra soldier had left the lingering pain as a dull ache in her hollow chest in order to control her better. It felt weird to have her parents, her brother, her friends back after being separated from them for long.

Lucy had never felt so disoriented before.

"We're just as confused as you are, Maharo." Daleen removed a strand of hair from Lucy's eyes, tucking it behind her ear. Such a simple gesture but enough to make Lucy realize no one had touched her so gently, so motherly in years. Darleen's face softened, melting into an expression that betrayed nothing but love, as if she had also just realized this was her daughter. "We'll have to catch up. I'm sure you have a lot of adventures to tell me about, too."

Lucy's bottom lip trembled and she leaned her head into the warm hand of her mother. It hadn't occurred to her just how much she craved that comforting touch.

"I love you, mom."

"I love you too-" Daleen's fingers stroked Lucy's cheek "-my child, my darling daughter." Silent tears started to roll down her cheeks. Lucy wrapped her arms around her mother's back, breathing in the scent she could never forget. Not even the smoke of bombs or Narti's puppeteers game could erase that scent from her memory.

Mother was anchor. Mother was comfort. Mother was home. A girl who lost her mother was suddenly a tiny boat on an angry ocean. Some boats eventually floated ashore. And some boats, like me, seemed to float farther and farther from land.

Lucy had once read that in a book. Words had never hit so close to home than when she had read Emilia's line for the first time. She had cried that night, aching for her own mother's embrace.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Daleen sobbed. "I was starting to lose hope. But then Eurwyn found your crew and everything changed."

"More like Jijii found him first, thought." Lucy laughed at the memory, her head still resting on her mother's chest.

"Yeah, that's true."

"I guess their first encounter is one of the reason why he doesn't like her."

Her mother clicked her tongue. "You have to forgive your brother. It's a lot to take in, for all of us. He just wants to protect you."

"I'm his big sister. I'm Maharo, I should have protected him all along."

Daleen's grip on Lucy tightened. "You know that it isn't true. He wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you."

"I thought he was dead." Lucy whispered, as if the words could shatter the recomforting warmth of her mother. "I couldn't erase the feeling of his mind going blank right in front of me, of his blood on the pavement. It still haunts me today."

"That day… It wasn't his mind that went blank, darling."

Lucy shifted, knowing what her mother would say. She had figured out so much after seeing Eurwyn standing in front of her, safe and sound. The child he had been back then had grown into a man, but even after six years, her brother's spirit and stubbornness hadn't change.

"It wasn't his mind that put up its walls," Daleen tried again, her voice quivering with memories. Lucy held her breath, squeezing her eyes shut as her mother finished her sentence. "It was yours. You were far too young to feel the difference, you had never faced such a situation. It was just your own mind trying to protect you."

Lucy sucked in a breath, burying her face inside her mother's neck as images came rushing back to her. A whirlwind of colours and feelings stormed her chest, but for the first time, she felt like she wasn't caught in the storm. She was watching the havoc from inside a safe embrace, nestled against the surreal thought that her family was alive. Still, she shuddered in front of the images that left prints in her mind. "There was blood. There was so much blood."

"When I arrived at the marketplace, saw you with the soldiers, saw your brother… I wanted to defend you but there were so many of them and they were already dragging you away with them. The last time I saw my young daughter's face, your face, you were covered in blood. Yours and the one of those Galra soldiers standing around you. Your screams keep me up at night. The only thing I've ever wanted was to tell you… I wanted to tell you that everything would be okay, that we would find you. Save you. But even when you were standing so near, I couldn't reach you with my powers. You had already locked yourself away. "

Blood and screams. A cage of red and screeches. That's what that day meant to both her and her mother.

"When I arrived in the Arena, when they threw me into that jail, I couldn't think of anything else but that rage inside me, that hole of grief that opened up like an endless pit. It took me days, but I decided I couldn't let it eat me away. I had to turn my weaknesses into strength so I could survive. So I decided I would break free. I had to."

"Why didn't you try to come home?"

"I couldn't go back." Lucy lifted her head, finally staring into her mother's eyes as she spoke, "I realized that when I was finally free. I realized I couldn't just go home like nothing had happened. I couldn't go back to my parents when I was responsible for their son's death." She realized she could no longer call that place home.

Her mother cupped Lucy's face, wiping her tear soaked face with her thumbs. "Baby…"

"And Jijii and Cosmo and Merryn were here. And then Sammy came along and everyone else. I had a reason to live. I would go back one day, I kept telling myself. I would, but only once everything was over. Once I would have avenged my little brother's death. Not before."

"And you're here now." Daleen pressed her forehead against her daughter's. "You're alive. My sweet little dragon. My baby."

"I'm here," Lucy whispered as her mother left a kiss on her forehead, like a protective charm.

"I'm glad the walls in your mind are gone. I'm glad you feel better. I'm so glad to have you back." Daleen's eyes were reddened by her tears, but this was a different red from the one on that day. This one was painted by worries and motherly care, and for the first time since seeing Jijii's red cape -a sign of grief as well as hope- Lucy found herself thinking red wasn't painful anymore.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lucy said, "I feel the same way, mom. I'm still so confused by everything that happened, and memories are mixing up in my brain, but I'm glad to be back."

"Good. Now, how about we cut that messy hair of yours?"

Lucy sobbed an ugly laugh while sniffing. "That'd be great, indeed."

"Let me go find scissors then, I'm sure-" Daleen stopped mid-sentence as a pair of sharpened scissors appeared in Lucy's hands. "How could I forget how useful your powers could be?"

"Pretty useful indeed…"

Her mother took the scissors from her hand and ran her fingers through her daughter's choppy hair. The Galra had chopped her braid of, resulting in a messy combination of more or less long strands of hair. Daleen had missed running her fingers through her daughter's locks, as rich as her chocolate eyes and silkier than the most expensive velvet dress. "How about you tell me everything I missed while I cut your hair?"

"Just like the old times?" It would never be the same, ever. But just this time Lucy would block the darkness to create bright memories with her beloved mother. To finally have something she could smile back on. Lucy would not let the vulgar times get the best of her. She wouldn't let Lotor win.

"Just like the old times."

And so, as her mother proceeded to restore some order in her unevenly cut locks, Lucy told her story. She sucked a breath in at the first snip and the thump of her hair hitting the floor made her hair drum in her chest. She was going to miss swinging it over a shoulder or having the little girls braid flowers in her hair. But this was a new beginning, and if her hair was all she was going to lose, it was a small price to pay.

Leaving the gruesome details of battles and missions for another time, she told her mother how she had met most of her crewmembers and the memories that she held with all those who roamed through the corridors of her ship.

It only took a few minutes for Daleen to do Lucy's new pixie cut, but mother and daughter remained in bed, enjoying each other's presence and catching up on the time they had lost. If it wasn't for Lucy's growling stomach, their chat could have lasted for hours to come, time measured not by clocks but by the rhythmical drumming of their hearts, but eventually they had to give in to her tummy's despaired cries. Daleen wasn't going to let her daughter die of starvation now. Not when she had just got her back.

"Let's see what that engineer boy of yours cooked for you."

"Cosmo is an awesome cook, I bet it'll be delicious."

"You're already salivating," Daleen chuckled.

"I need to be reunited with my favorite friend in the entire universe, Mom. Food."

Without hesitation, Lucy took her mother's hand and led her by following the scent of Cosmo's home cooked meal, lingering in the halls and luring her to the kitchen. Albeit, not exactly home. The gesture and the person, however, was what made it. It didn't take much wailing on the Captain's part for Cosmo to give Lucy a plate of delicious snacks.

"Darling, where are your manners?" Daleen laughed, watching as Lucy dived into her meal, wolfing down everything. Lucy only shrugged and kept on devouring her plate without a second glance.

Daleen's attention turned to the window. From there, she could see Sammy and Jijii talking in the backyard, embracing each other tightly. "So, that boy is your son?"

Lucy perked her head up from her plate - the scarlet boy was one of the few topics that could distract her from food. "Sammy? He's my precious baby. I'd do everything and anything for him."

Daleen nodded, "I see."

"I'm so proud of him, Mom. He's so talented, intelligent, and he's just adorable. One of my weaknesses is that I can never say no to him. I love him so much."

"And who's the father of that perfect child?"

Lucy cocked a brow. "Huh?"

"Well, if he's your son, who's the dad?"

"I guess if Jijii and I are like his moms, Cosmo pretty much raised him too so he…" Lucy paused, suddenly staring at her interrogating mother with incredulous eyes. "Wait a second! Where is this coming from? Don't tell me you believe I'm actually Sammy's mother? Like, genetically speaking, right?"

"Well, I am. That's why I'm asking you who the father is."

"I want to know too," Elden suddenly interrupted, emerging from behind Daleen's shoulder. Eurwyn was with him, holding several grocery bags. Her family's timing was scary, especially when it looked like they ganged up on Lucy. "I want to see if he's worthy of being my precious daughter's husband."

"Where are you all even getting these ideas from? Who even told you he was my son?"

"Well, you just did," her father said.

"It's a figure of speech, Dad."

"And don't forget the Blade, mom." Eurwyn added, putting his bags on a nearby table. Lucy didn't like the inquisitive look in their eyes. And what did the Blade have to do with any of it?

"Well, darling, everyone calls him Scarlet's Boy, and given Scarlet is your code name, that sounds like a pretty obvious link to me."

A scream similar to a pterodactyl shriek escaped Lucy's lips. "Excuse me?"

Unphased, her parents turned their attention to the kitchen, where Cosmo was still cooking, immersed into the food he was preparing and oblivious to the conversation in front of him. Lucy felt the colors leave her face as her parents started to murmur theories to each others.

"I mean, both the kid and the boy have blue eyes, El," Daleen pointed out.

"True," Elden agreed, thoughtful as he observed Cosmo's chopping skills. Lucy groaned - he did not just think that was a useful skill for a father to have, did he?

"Mom! Dad! No!" Lucy shouted and stepped in front of them. Cosmo suddenly looked up, watching her with a confused face. His ice blue eyes shot up to her parents and Lucy tried her best to smile as convincingly possible so he would lose interest and continue cooking.

However, she could always, without a doubt, count on her parents to never drop such a subject.

"The two of you are pretty close aren't you? And he's around your age. Even though age doesn't matter and you can love whoever you want, we won't judge you for that-"

"Mom, stop," Lucy begged, rubbing her temples. Cosmo's hand grabbed her wrist and she could hear him asking her to explain to him what was going on.

"-even if it's true you're both pretty young but it's okay if you decided to keep the child-"

"Mom, please." How she could explain the situation to Cosmo when she herself had no idea where the whole thing was coming from?

"-we're at war and these are rough times but I saw how strong and independent you are so I couldn't be more proud."

"Mom, stop it, now! Cosmo is not the father!"

Behind her a clatter shattered the tense silence following that statement as Cosmo dropped the knife he had been holding. His words were clear as day in her head, but also alarming like all hell broke loose. "Hold on. You're pregnant?"

"No, Cosmo I am not pregnant! And I never was in my entire life so, Mom, you need to relax!" Lucy glanced at Cosmo, all colour from his tanned face gone, his paleness only accentuated by the reddening of his ears.

Elden huffed - he almost seemed sad, Lucy realized. "I guess it's too late to have The Talk, Dal."

"You too, dad!" Lucy shrieked again. Her heart was racing in her chest as blood rushed to her cheeks, unable to keep up with all the madness. "I am his mother figuratively, not literally."

"Too bad," Elden shrugged. "I was looking forward to this embarrassing moment of our parenting career."

"This is embarrassing enough as it is, Dad! No child with a sane mind would ever want The Talk, especially not from their parents. Why would you even want to talk about it?" She shuddered at the thought. "How could you believe that he… that I… I was fourteen when I left. Sammy is nearly ten years old. There is no way he can be my son!"

Eurwyn rubbed his chin. "Ah, true. I didn't think of the age difference."

Lucy whipped her head towards her brother. "Eurwyn, don't tell me you believed all that too?!"

"Plus, it's true he isn't your only presumed child."

"What do you mean he isn't the only one?" Daleen shouted, "Lucy you have more kids!?"

"I do not have any children, Mom!" Looking back to Cosmo for support, Lucy felt her despair reach new heights as she saw him busy glancing around with wide, terrified eyes. She quickly peeked into his thoughts. Man, I haven't even thought of kids and her parents think Lucy and I- Lucy dipped out to let him continue rambling on his own.

"What about the kids at Tori's?" Eurwyn inquired. "There's at least ten of them there."

"Ten? Maybe we should still have that talk." Lucy's mom put a hand to her chest as if she were out of breath. Had they really believed Lucy wanted kids at a time like this?

"Mom, for the last time those aren't my children. They're just orphans we've rescued and sheltered over the years."

"At what point did you think it was a good idea to raise children on a battleship?!" Eurwyn screeched, "With a bunch of rogues and pirates no less!"

The Captain's jaw dropped. Unbelievable. My family is without a doubt insane. "Since it was better than leaving them for dead?"

"Fair enough." Her dad shrugged, taking a seat and deflating with disappointment. For just how long has he been planning The Talk? At least he saw the light in taking in refugee children in the middle of a war.

Tilting his head, Eurwyn examined his sister, then the engineer in his dazed thoughts standing beside her. "So you aren't their mother."

Lucy clicked her tongue, putting her hands to her face and dragging them downwards dramatically. Did this really need to be the topic of the night? She resisted the urge to pull her eyes out. She felt too young to become a mother as she still felt like a child herself. And Cosmo? With a baby? She scoffed at the thought. "For the last time Eurwyn, no, I'm not their mother. Not biologically speaking, anyway. Do I need to spell this out? Or perhaps you'd like a drawing?"

He ignored her sarcasm to add, "And you aren't dating anyone, either?"

She threw her hands up in disbelief. "Are you that hurried to marry me off!?"

Everyone was all staring at Lucy. If her parents wanted grandchildren so badly, why didn't they annoy her brother for a few? Surely he wanted kids. "We just want you to be happy, my dear," her mother cooed.

"Well, I'm very happy so stop doing whatever you're trying to do," Lucy retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. Anything but this whole conversation seemed better. Even sparring with Jijii in hand to hand combat had a better taste to it.

Smirking, Eurwyn nodded towards Lucy and asked, "So the boy behind who looks lost... isn't your boyfriend?"

That was the last drop. Lucy could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Eurwyn, no! And stop trying to read Cosmo's mind, mom!"

She pouted. "But he's making your lunch and he was in your room earlier."

"Yes he was, and so what? Stop jumping to conclusions!"

Crossing his arms, Eurwyn gave Cosmo a quick scan before meeting Lucy's glare. "Well, he's pretty cute, but excuse me for having a point."

"Eurwyn, it's not like that!"

"So you're telling me you spend all those years with that cutie by your side and you're not together?"

Cosmo finally snapped out of his trance and went beet red. Lucy was pretty sure her face matched his.

"Son, keep it in your pants. What would Matt think if he were to know you're ogling other boys?"

Eurwyn laughed, "Please, dad, Matt would so agree with me right now. Besides, he told me enough of the earthling beauties for me to acknowledge it when I meet someone new. Just saying."

Cosmo awkwardly shifted on his feet, rubbing his neck in search of anything to do, any escape route out of this situation. If it weren't for the current topic being discussed in the kitchen, Lucy would have teased him for how her own brother managed to make him lose his cool and heartless facade. In this case, however, she was losing in front of her baby brother, too.

"Just because you're with Matt doesn't mean you can force your sister into a relationship."

"Say the ones who were talking about my potential kids barely two seconds ago!" Lucy shrieked.

Lucy kept reminding herself she loved her family. Reminded herself that every family wanted their kids to be happy, to have kids. Teasing members of the family was a completely ordinary and normal thing to do. She had to swallow her urge to rip her hair out or jump through a window. This was all unbelievable. She was just crying to her mother not long ago, and now she was defending her non-existent motherhood to her family.

"This, is another debate, my dear."

"A debate that I'm totally not willing to participate to, mom," said Lucy. "And since when is Eurwyn dating somebody? Why aren't you on his ass about kids?"

"He didn't tell you? He's been with Matt for nearly three years now."

Lucy pinched the bridge of her nose, counting her breaths before she said anything she would regret. So much was happening. She and Eurwyn hadn't had the chance to update one another on their life just yet.

"Oh well." Eurwyn shrugged, "Now you know."

"Why don't you tell me more about your life rather than embarrassing me in front of my crew?" Lucy was about to jump.

Her mother sighed, moving to sit beside her husband. "Stop being so dramatic, darling, that isn't our objective."

Breathe in and out, Lucy thought. Yes, she missed people teasing her like before the capture, however, this was not what she meant. Her crew barely talked about romance, except for Lo's occasionally shipping sprees.

"But if it was… Then we pretty much nailed it."

"Eurwyn?" Lucy asked, screeching her teeth to keep her tone even. She failed. "Shut up."

"What's going on here, Lucy?" Lucy's head whipped around to Jijii, who was standing on the threshold, Sammy, on her trail as she stepped into the house and raised an eyebrow at her. "Why are you screaming?"

"I'm not. Everything is perfectly fine." Lucy missed her handy spatula then. The urge to smash her brain was not a troubling decision - or maybe she should start with her family's mouths first. "All under control. Nothing to be worried about."

Jijii studied the room, and telling by her face she didn't believe a word Lucy said. "Your high pitched tone and Cosmo's terrified face behind you are telling quite another story."

Daleen waved it off nonchalantly. "It's fine, we were just asking her who Sammy's father was."

"Oh well," Jijii shrugged, pointing at Cosmo, "that'd be him."

Shrieking, Lucy ran her hands through her freshly cut hair. Cosmo looked as pale as a ghost.

"What?" Jijii's brows furrowed as she swept across the floor, cape flowing behind her.

"Don't encourage them, please."

Jijii grinned from ear to ear at Lucy's almost pleading tone, wagging her brows before snagging a snack Cosmo had prepared. "Why not? It's fun. You should see your face, I think you're redder than my cape. If I had known such conversation were the material I needed to make you blush like that I would have used it before. My dear Eurwyn, I think we finally found something we have in common. Forget quidditch, embarrassing Lucy is the national sport over here."

Eurwyn scoffed but remained silent. Lucy couldn't help but notice his defensive stance. She didn't know what her brother held against Jijii, but he wasn't even trying to fake any sympathy toward her. Sammy interrupted her thoughts, however, and extended his hand toward her. He dropped a small flower bracelet inside her palm.

"Yeah, right. Not your son, huh? I'm not as oblivious as you are, dummy," Eurwyn's voice sneered in her head. Speaking of children, her brother was beginning to sound like one.

Lucy glared at Eurwyn, dissuading him from starting the conversation in front of her again. Jijii reacted before he did and looped an arm around Lucy's shoulder.

"Look, our baby boy made you a bracelet," Jijii continued, beginning to look more snake like. Have her friends and family always been these obnoxious, or was today a special occasion? The Lieutenant knew exactly what her words were doing. "You taught him right about Atlantis' traditions."

Jijii, now would be the time for you to shut the fuck up.

"Oh, my bad," she winked, "did I start the conversation all over again? Oops."

Unbeknownst to their silent conversation, Elden turned to Jijii, curiosity flaring in his eyes once more. "Your baby boy?"

Jijii crossed her arms. "Well yeah, everyone knows I'm Sammy's mom too."

Eldon sweeped his eyes around the room in disbelief. "Damn, this is getting complicated."

"It's not that complicated," Sammy reassured, starting to count on his fingers the people that formed his family tree. "Our big family is pretty cool. There's Mama Lu and Mama Ji, Cosmo is my papá and Merryn is my big sis. And then there's grandpa Kol and my uncles from heaven, Eliott and Yoann, and all my scarlet brothers and sisters, my cousins Maddie and Maggie… And now there's you. Not bad for an orphan, right?" He grinned innocently up at his new family members.

"I am no father," Cosmo signed.

Sammy's bright smile took them all by surprise and Lucy couldn't help but smile back and ruffle his blondie locks. "Not bad at all, sweetheart." She didn't lie when she said she found him adorable.

"Wait," Eurwyn pointed at him and his parents, "Us?"

"Well you are Lucy's brother, right? So that makes you my tío. And," Sammy turned to Daleen and Elden, "That makes them my abuelos."

Eldon slumped further into the chair. "Didn't see that coming."

Daleen looked as if she were about to pass out.

"Lucy!" This time it was Lo's turn to barge into the room. After hurtling down the stairs, her cheeks were flushed with heat. "Lucy! Your heart rate is going crazy what the hell is going on here? And what are you doing in this room, you're supposed to be in bed!"

Lo's stomping feet turned to Cosmo and Jijii as she grabbed them both by the arm. "Don't try to sneak away, you two. I trusted you with this mission! And you've got wounds to heal too, you idiots! This is supposed to be a calm environment here, not a circus!"

"Sorry, Lo…"

"It's not your place to apologize, Sammy," Lo assured him. "Now, I'll have to make relaxing decoction for everyone before you all die of heart attacks! Don't give me that look Cosmo, it stopped working on me ages ago, you… you buffoon!"

"We love you, Lo," Sammy grinned.

"Damn it," she sighed, running her hand through her hair, "I can't keep up with this family, anymore."

"Because you are part of it too?" Daleen breathed, holding her heart. "How many of you are there? And who are you on that big family tree, an aunt?

"Me?" Lo smirked. "I'm the fairy godmother."

Eurwyn choked and Jijii burst out laughing. "That's a good one, Lo! We'll have to add this one on the wall, it's perfect."

"Yeah well, bibbidi bobbidi boo, Lucy you've got a hot bath waiting for you."

Before Lucy could disappear, Lo grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs, shoving her into the bathroom before the captain could protest. However, when Lo came back for them, both Cosmo and Jijii were already gone.

* * *

So? Am i forgiven for making you wait so long? I hope you had a good laugh because one the writing black was over i had a BLAST writing this chapter. I'll have to give some credit to my two awesoem betas because Lo and Ryn did an amazing job on that chap and the 'who's the dad' talk turned even more priceless with their added magic! thanks again girls!

until next time 3

Come and chat with me :

\- Tumblr : bookstvseriesandanimes

\- insta : little_dragon_writes


	25. UPDATE (or me trying to explain stuff)

First things first: Scarlet Kaida is still a thing.

I know that, if you're still reading this story and expecting a chapter, you might not believe that statement. But it's the truth. I've beaten myself up enough time those past months – ever since July to be honest – thinking that after 4 months without anything to do, no summer job no nothing, except for writing, I should be writing SK and I should be done with it already. I even thought at some point I would be done by the time it'd turn one.

But I didn't.

And technically, that was just a little "oh that would be cool if" thought at first, and I don't know when it became a "I'll have to" but it did and I think that subconscious pressure I put on myself is responsible for the lack of content and chapters.

Maybe my friend is right, maybe those 4 months of break were vacations and my body needed rest too and after two months of non-stop writing it gave up. I remember last summer when I started SK it was this "silly space pirate prompt" in my head. It's still the name of Scarlet Kaida's file on my google drive. But I know it changed in my head, I know that now. I know that I started to put (too much) pressure on myself, feeling like I had to update it every week, that I had to write more and more always. But that pressure and train of thought only makes the writing block even worse.

Scarlet Kaida isn't my first story. But it's the first one I posted online, the first multi chapter project that I wrote past the third chapter and for me, who has a lot of abandoned stories behind her, that is already a huge deal. And now I have to fight against the writing blocks but also my own cowardice that tells me it'd be so much easier to just give up already. So much easier. I've done it in the past after all. But this time is different. Because there're people who've read it, and who might be in the same state as I was many times, waiting for an update of a fic that never came.

And even if my friends – the one behind part of the scarlet crew – tell me over and over again that's it's okay and that they'll wait the time I need to read what happens next ; even if irl Lili Jello tells me she wants to read it 'till the end no matter what – it doesn't matter if she already knows how it all wraps up, she wants to see it written. "It's not the same" is what she always says – followed most of the time by another "so stfu bitch and stop worrying about the details" and a few more GIF to keep me going and scold me for even thinking one more time of burning everything to the ground. Even if they're here to tell me it's fine I can't help but think the contrary.

And as if my own insecurities toward my writing, the many writing blocks that have hit me since July weren't enough, I'm back in uni since the beginning of September and it's way more intense than last year. I no longer have boring classes I can easily write in instead of listening to the teacher, or just write here and there between two English exercises. I have much more classes and I always end class late so forget the after class writing sessions either. My brain is barely there for some Netflix before sleep.

So yeah, after waiting a month to post chapter 24, then one more to post chapter 25 and seeing that even after nearly 2 months chapter 26 is nowhere around the corner I felt like I owed you an explanation. And even if no one reads that 'update x information' thingy, then at least it's a good way for me to tell me that **it is okay**.

It's time for Scarlet Kaida to go back to the silly prompt it was a year ago, not for the angst to leave, no, but for Scarlet Kaida to be once again the story I wrote in my free time to unwind and imagine pirates traveling through space with my favourite paladins.

So, Scarlet Kaida will come back. Hopefully before the final season of Voltron drops, but of not then that's okay. Because Scarlet Kaida is just a fanfic and as much as I love those space baes of mine, they were created for a fun project and not to make me cry at 3 am because I feel like a worthless person who had too much ambition and should give up already.

Now I don't want to end this letter / update whatever on a sad note so I'm telling you again Scarlet Kaida will come back. I haven't stopped writing, it's just harder lately (even more now that I have even less time to do so). One of the solutions, I have so far is to go back to shorter chapters, I love writing scenes and they always end up getting so long but SK's outline is already complete, I know where I'm going and I think I'll just have to split chapters. Chapter 25 already is more than 5,000 words long and I'll think it'll stay that way. What I had planned to write afterward, will just have to wait for the next chap and that won't change anything for the story. Just the number of chapters left to write.

Who knows, maybe the story I had imagined to only last for a dozen chap will keep surprising me.

Another solution is that I've learned from my mistake. I'll wait to be enough into the next chapter before updating the one I finished. The fact that Scarlet Kaida is getting closer to its final arc doesn't make it less hard either, I have so much things to write and answer – but it doesn't matter because I'll take my time (not too much otherwise my lazy coward ass will never achieve anything) and like Lucy I will keep my head high and prove myself wrong. I can do this.

 _Stand tall, keep fighting, don't falter_ , am I right?

Anyways, if you kept reading through that horribly long rant, good job! Your reward is… Well I was about to say one of Lucy's cookies or a few waffles but you know that captain by heart now, she already ate them of course! My gratitude will have to do I guess and I hope that, just like this letter, you'll read Scarlet Kaida until the end.

And if not well, that's okay too, I didn't expect anyone to read that silly story so the fact that people still gave it a chance overwhelms me. Thank you to the people leaving comments and kudos, you're the one pushing me to keep writing this story!

Thanks again,

Little_Dragon_Writes.

PS: If you enjoy the scarlet kaida cast, I haven't been truly inactive these past few months and a few stories involving some of those characters are up on my account. They are mainly one shot that I forced myself to write on the way home to keep writing so if you want to read them, go ahead and give them some love! (they are only available on AO3 because I never had the energy and courage to post them on the other websites, so if you're reading this from for example and want to read those short stories, let me know and I'll post them here too!). And now, if you want to request one of those Bus Prompt for yourself, head over to my insta ( little-dragon-writes) and I'll happily try and write it for you! I often use them as an opportunity to write fluff AUs with two of my favourite SK ships, Firereader and Lumos! So if you want some AUs or more insight on the scarlet crew's past adventures, I'll wait for you on insta!

[Oh my god this is two pages long on my doc, what have I done this was just supposed to be a short thing. Oops :3 Shout- out to you if you read it until here, you're a good person who probably had before things to do than read my late-night rambles and poor explanations but thanks for your attention anyway!]


	26. Andriantafika

Oh well, look who's back after… months (16th August 2018 damn)  
My own laziness, writing slump and self depreciation are to blame. Won't apologise, those chaps have been ready for months now, just didn't feel like posting them bc I thought it was crap; In the end i didn't rewrite or add much. Just needed time to get back into shape. I have 2 other chaps ready, also finished since weeks. Hopefully you can expect me to finish this story in no time! Will you be there to read it, that is the question. Chapter twenty five - Andriantafika

If anyone had told Matt that one day he'd be standing in a giant alien spaceship with technology farther advanced than his wildest dreams, then he would have never believed them. Even more so, if said person were to tell him that the scenery would happen lightyears away from Earth after he'd been captured, almost thrown into the pit of a deadly arena, rescued only to be trained to become a warrior and a spy for a rebel alliance that fought against the evil Empire of purple furries that had captured him in the first place.

This was totally not what he had signed up for when he had told Ms. Adkins in kindergarten what he wanted to become one day. Given he had yet to become the next headmaster of Hogwarts, but being part of an intergalactic war wasn't exactly what he had hoped for as a career goal.

Matt wondered if Pidge had ever thought she'd become the pilot of a giant green space cat robot that could turn into an even bigger humanoid robot if fused with its four counterparts.

His life was a crazy mess. There weren't any other words for it anymore.

And yet, even after all the events he had been through since the Kerberos mission, the only thing that his brain had trouble accepting was the fact that he, Matt Holt, the crazy math nerd from a small town lost in Arizona, had found a boyfriend in space. _My boyfriend from space,_ was the first tome of the series he would write if he wasn't too busy fighting a war -followed by the just as famous _My boyfriend has a death wish_ or _My boyfriend is an idiot and I swear I have no idea how he survived without me until now._

Matt had kept thinking Eurwyn would be the last gift from whatever higher ups who controlled his life. Fate? God? The Universe? Matt couldn't care less. Even though sometimes, Eurwyn was more a curse than he was a present from above -being handsome didn't spare that Eurwyn was a magnet to trouble and had a love hate relationship with situation that involved the both of them getting killed.

Point was, Matt had always believed it'd take more hardships to get back home, to be reunited with his dad, his sister or his ancient teammate Shiro. Not that the journey had been a safe one until now, there were just too much wins lately. A few years ago, the Kyra's had rescued him and now all his long-lost friends and family members were alive? Something bad was meant to happen.

That's why it was his first thought when Eurwyn had called him. Something bad had happened and now, his boyfriend, left alone on a nameless planet with barely enough defense to hold against the attack of an army of blind zombie penguins, was in trouble.

In the end, the situation didn't turn out to be so dramatic and Matt hadn't been able to held back his relieved sigh. Something Eurwyn hadn't appreciated at all.

"What do you mean it's _just_ that?" Eurwyn growled, repeating with an annoyed tone what Matt had just said. "What am I supposed to do if you give me such shitty help? Because that's not helpful, Matt."

"I'm not saying it's nothing important, babe, I just… For a second, I thought Lotor had attacked and you were calling me from your deathbed, blood pouring from your wounds while bombs were falling from the sky. So, excuse me for thinking a little sibling quarrel is less of a life or death situation."

Eurwyn looked at him perplexed. "How much coffee did your sleep deprived ass had today?"

Matt remained silent, deciding to observe a little bit more the intriguing details of the Altean architecture. Even if Eurwyn was on a different planet, in a different solar system, Matt could still feel the inquisitive look of his boyfriend. It didn't keep him from hearing Eurwyn's desperate sigh, however, and Matt was almost tempted to end the conversation now before Eurwyn could even try to even suggest the idea of him giving up on his only liable source of energy. Instead, he decided to go back to the actual subject of their conversation: Eurwyn's sister.

"So, what's wrong with Lucy? What did you do?"

"Why do you assume _I_ was the one to do something in the first place?"

Matt's expression softened, "Because if it was entirely _her_ fault you wouldn't be calling for _my_ help and _my_ legendary advices on how to handle situations like a civilized person."

"Fair enough."

"So… can you explain to me again exactly why you thought threatening your sister's best friend, lieutenant, and probably strongest warrior, was a good idea?"

Eurwyn groaned but obliged, explaining how the previous day had gone by and how it had led to her sister walking in to him having an argument with Julie Teerah Eterna, first lieutenant of the Scarlet Kaida and member of the long list of people Matt would advise to never get on your bad side. But then again, when Eurwyn would ever listen to him? He had never done so in the past and he wasn't about to start now. Eurwyn wasn't exactly the type of people to listen. As life had taught him, Matt now knew Eurwyn was more of the 'do the thing first, ask questions later' type of guy and whatever had happened with Lucy, it wasn't exactly how he had planned for their reunion to go.

Matt knew Eurwyn had always looked forward to the day he'd be able to see his sister again. It was the same longing to be reunited with their sister that had brought them together in the first place. Both finding themselves in the middle of a ten-thousand-year-old conflict, they shared the same hope of being reunited with their family. Many of their comrades had faced loss as well but none of them understood the hope both Matt and Eurwyn held onto: to find their sister, to be home again. None of the others understood that and kept telling them it was useless to dwell on wishful thinking. But they had kept hoping -believing- together, that someday their family would be whole again.

And as for the next step of their relationship, there was nothing better than a life or death situation to make you realize the feelings you had for the idiot who was responsible for the enraged, human-flesh eating Wilddeoren out to kill you. Unfortunately for the sake of Matt's heart, the Wilddeoren mission hadn't been the last one in which Eurwyn had find himself close to the gates of death.

"I can't fucking stand her, Matt," Eurwyn whined, running his hand through his short curly hair, "Why couldn't my sister choose someone better as her first lieutenant?"

"Eurwyn…" Matt warned.

"I'm not gonna apologize." Matt could almost picture Eurwyn's pout.

"I never asked you to do that. I'm not an idiot, you trying to do so would make things even worse than they already are." Eurwyn scoffed at his statement. "But have you considered that maybe, that thing called talking could help?"

"You want me to go and talk to Jijii?!"

"Not Jijii, your sister. Talk to her. I'm sure she's been looking to do just that for years as well. Even more if she believed you dead for all these years, don't you think? You've got some talking to do young man."

"I'm a coward, Matt."

"No, you aren't."

"I've been waiting for this to happen for so long but now…"

"It's scary?"

"Yeah…"

"That doesn't make you a coward, Eurwyn," Matt observed. From what he could hear, Eurwyn had been sleeping just as much as he had -which wasn't good. Eurwyn wasn't into caffeine and relied on sleep only to keep himself from falling into the dark pit of his self-depreciative thoughts and worries. Eurwyn had always been scared of failure and Matt could only guess what Eurwyn thought about his first moments with his sister and he knew it wasn't good.

"Eurwyn… Listen to me. Even if you fought, that's what siblings do. And no matter what happened, she'll always be your sister. I know what happened with Pidge isn't exactly what happened with you and Lucy but everything will be okay. You just need to talk. Catch up for everything you've missed."

"Yeah…"

"You'll be fine, Eurwyn. You've wanted this for years, so go to your sister now that you finally can."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thank, Matt."

"I'll accept your thanks when you've talked to your sister."

"Right."

"Go find her, you dumb idiot."

" _Fitia doria,_ Matt."

"Love you too." Matt smiled at Eurwyn before ending the call.

 _Please, Lucy. Let you be the kind sister he remembers. He needs you._

/

Elden walked toward his wife. Daleen had been sitting there for hours now, her gaze focused on the city downhill. From there, it looked as if she was either meditating or brooding - which happened more often that her soldiers would imagine coming from their proud officer, and only a few people could detect the difference between her two states.

Elden had a feeling she had chosen this spot because it reminded her of their home. Back on Atlantis, their house had been built on a hill similar to this one, towering over a just as small and calm village as Keanu. Elden only hoped it brought her peace instead of stirring old demons.

"How long are you gonna stay there, Elden?"

"I just wanted to check on you, you've been out there for a while now."

"Is everything okay with the kids?"

Elden scoffed, sitting on the grass beside Daleen. He sensed his powers reaching out for the soil underneath them right away. The planet they were on had never been conquered by the Galra for its resources and therefore its core remained pure and intact. And near Keanu, the roots of the rebellion were just as strong as the giant redwoods.

"You know how those two are," he smiled. "They're both as stubborn as their mother."

Daleen laughed and leaned onto him, her head resting on his shoulder. "It's like nothing happened."

"But it did…"

Daleen held his hand and remained silent for awhile. He wondered if she was trying to reach for the citizens minds from there. Ever since their daughter had been taken away from them she had always forced herself to train, to get stronger so she would never feel powerless again - so her child couldn't been taken away from her again. So she would never have to go through the fear of never seeing her baby again.

 _Six years._

Six years of following deadend clues, of hoping overheard stories were true or praying their daughter was indeed out of the arena, hiding behind a pseudonym her brother had created for her a long time ago.

How many times had he seen hope falter in his wife's eyes? How many times had he been _this_ close to giving up and accepting his fate? Was it better for a father to imagine his child dead, or alive, but going through horrors he could never help her with?

He never had to find the answer to that question for there was always someone to keep him from doing so: Eurwyn.

Eurwyn had never given up on the hope to see his sister again. He had never stopped believing that he'd see her again and his stubbornness had led them all here. Along the years, he had collected every of the hints he could get his hands on, his methodical research helping the Alliance decoding heaps of lines of coding, every time leading to another base, another data gold mine - another step toward victory, the officer would say.

But Elden knew Eurwyn didn't have Zarkon in mind when he was facing his codes and soldiers. His sister was the only person he was thinking of. And now that she was here, now that she was back with them, Elden wondered if his son felt the same way than he did. If, him too, still had trouble realizing she was back. Elden hated himself for feeling this way.

He was her father, he _should_ be by her side.

But he couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to go to her, so scared he'd lose her again if he dared walk too close. As if she was one of the mirages she used to create as a child to trick him and would disappear once more, slipping through his fingers like sand would.

And then there was also the matter of her lieutenant. He'd never would have guessed he'd see Julie Teerah Eterna again. Even more at his daughter's side.

"Do you really think we can trust them?" Daleen asked, mindlessly drawing stars on his palm with her fingertips. She always did that when she needed to relax. Elden wondered if Lucy still had the same habit.

"I do."

"Even with what Eurwyn told us?"

He felt her stare on him but he focused on the landscape instead, taking strength and balance from it as memories he had pushed back for years resurfaced. Even after two centuries he still flinched a the sight of them.

"I think your mind wouldn't be so colorful if you had seen everything she saw," he finally replied. Eurwyn's words came back to him as fast as the flashes of his past.

 _You should have seen it, dad. Her mind… it's pure black. There's nothing there. Nothing to see, nothing to feel. It's numb and empty._

Elden turned to Daleen, softly kissing the top of her hair. In the sun, the copper he loved so much in her auburn hair, seemed to burn.

"Matt's sister is with them," he added, "And you've seen how they are with her. I can see in their eyes how much they love her, and I'm sure you can feel it too. They won't hurt their Captain. They were ready to face Lotor on their own in order to get her back, remember?"

Daleen looked away for a second, thinking. "I know but I can't help it, El. I just want to make sure they're worthy of our trust. They're pirates after all."

"Don't try to convince me you haven't been wandering here and there… _Dreamwalker_. I know you too well for that."

"I couldn't just trust them right away," she winked, admitting her guilt.

"And do you, now? Do you think they're trustworthy?"

"I'm starting to." The chirping birds distracted her for a moment. Elden held her hand tighter as he noticed the throbbing of her throat she was trying to hide. "They were here when we couldn't at least. She had her crew, Kolivan, this adorable hound and she even had your Andriantafika. I mean… I never would have believed it if someone would have told me."

"I can't believe it either…"

"It's like we've hit two birds with the same stone. Seeing her again must have been quite the shock for you."

"That's one way to say it." A vulture broke through the cloud. This time, it was Daleen who tightened her grip on his hand. He felt the tears burning his eyes, as if the smoke of the burning village surrounded him again.

"She sent us to safety when Zarkon attacked. The slums were their first target. I can still see her red cape, flying behind her as she ran toward the chaos that had become the streets. Everyone was screaming…"

"Elden don't force yourself to remember."

"We both know that if I don't talk about it, it'll only be worse afterward. We can't risk a panic attack now that we must protect our children and that the enemy stands so close, can we?"

"You're right."

"For all this time, she had been protecting us and we couldn't do nothing to protect her."

"You were just a kid, Elden."

"And she was one too, Dal. She was barely older than us. But it never stopped her from taking care of us or teaching us what we needed in order to survive. She, as well as Yoann and Eliott, did everything they could to give us hope and a place to come back to. It was the first time I really understood what home meant."

"And then Zarkon came and destroyed everything. " Daleen ran her hand through his hair, knowing firsthand the painful turmoil that was going through his mind.

"That day… it's the last time I saw her. I can't believe she… can't believe she was in the arena all this time."

"Elden… No one can survive this place for so long. And you're telling me she would have survived it for two centuries?!"

"You heard her, she told it to you herself. Our daughter got her out of this hell."

"Yeah; but she might have gotten arrested afterward? Maybe she escaped and got captured later."

"His uncles from heaven. That's how Sammy referred to Yoann and Eliott. They were killed during the attack, and they meant the world to her."

"They were her family, I remember that much from what you've told me. And she told as much to that little boy it seems."

"They were more than that, Daleen. They're the first Iloniainas I ever met. You could never see one without the other…"

"Elden, if she indeed shared such a strong bond she shouldn't be alive by now. And not only because of the arena. Surviving the death of not only one but two soulmates, it's just… unbelievable."

"If there is someone who could survive this, that'd be her. She was barely fourteen but she had already seen so much, had defeated so many obstacles already."

"You mean you've met someone more stubborn than our kids? That's a first."

Elden laughed. Removing his focus from the sky he turned to look at his wife and rubbed his eyes with his thumb. "I think both their stubbornness combined managed to do great things together. Can you believe this? Our daughter, captain of a pirate ship."

"I know right?" Daleen let her head fall back on the grass. "Maybe we should have believed her when she said a fortune teller had told her she was meant for greater things."

"When I look at the two of them," Elden sucked in a breath, "I can't help but be reminded of how she used to behave around them. I think our daughter saved her in many ways possible."

"Do you think she is...like them? Like what they used to be to her?"

"I don't know if their bond is as strong as what she used to have with Eliott and Yoann, but I know for sure Jijii wouldn't have bonded her magic with everybody, let alone a complete stranger."

"Bonded her magic?

"I'm sure you've noticed it by now."

"So the strange energy I've mentioned to you before…" Daleen got back up. He could see the gears of her brain work behind her eyes, trying to understand something she had never seen before. "Lucy's magic is on everyone of them. Even back on the ship I could feel her lingering presence in every of their mind. But with her lieutenant it's…"

"Different?"

"I've never seen anything like that… it's like their heart beat in unison." Daleen's hands moved as she spoke, trying to put words on the strange feelings she had whenever her daughter or her lieutenant were around. "I almost believed _she_ was there when Jijii stepped on the deck the other day, when we were looking for Eurwyn. Their energy seem to echo each other, as if they were linked, glued to each other.

"It's an old spell. A complicated one that requires a fair amount of strength and trust on both parts. Yoann and Eliott had heard about it, they had planned on using it in case anything would happen. They'd be stronger that way, maybe able to defeat Zarkon's army. It'd be ever more efficient on Jijii's fire."

"But they never had the opportunity to do it."

"No. Or if they did, it didn't work."

"And you think Jijii and Lucy were able to do it?"

"How I don't know. Both Yoann and Eliott had access to ancient knowledges, Lucy obviously didn't possess. But considering how magic always worked on Atlantis, Jijii didn't need anything other than Lucy's presence to make it work. And if Jijii was able to perform that spell while Lucy and her were imprisoned, then that would explain a lot of things."

"They were stronger than the Galra expected." Daleen realized, "Whatever restrain they had weren't enough to hold back their new source of energy."

"And it's probably how Lucy was able to hold on for so long when… when Lotor had her. The spell saved her life. No one is strong enough to be drained of their power at such a level everyday."

"Her energy was still balanced as long as Jijii was alive."

"That's what I believe. And I guess that's the strange feeling Eurwyn told us about. We don't know how the spell affected her energy or how Eurwyn feels it. And how strange and different it might be compared to his memories.

"And he's blaming the only culprit he can find..."

"Eurwyn has never met someone like her until now. Nor has he ever learned about the existence of such magic. He probably felt Jijii's energy in his beloved sister's mind and that threw him off." Elden paused. "I know that he only wants to protect Lucy but… he'll have to believe her when she says Jijii won't hurt her."

"Or that she'll kick his ass if he keeps bothering her lieutenant," Daleen joked, her smile reaching her eyes.

"That too," Elden chuckled. "Though I'm sure Jijii can give him a good lesson as well. It's a good thing she believed she could get informations from him when they met back on Haumea. Otherwise he'd be dead by now. Andriantafika doesn't show any mercy to her enemies."

"Yeah sure, but I'll show her what a mother's wrath can do if she touches my son."

Elden laughed and kissed Daleen's temple. "She's trembling in fear as you speak."

Daleen laughed, "Don't make fun of me you terrible man."

"Lieutenant Teerah versus Mama Kyra, who will win? Find out in the next episode."

"You're terrible, you know that?"

"Terribly good looking, that's for sure."

"You egocentric man," Daleen rolled her eyes, amused by the cheerful spirit of her husband as she elbowed him in the ribs.

"You love me."

"I sure do, but sometimes I really wonder why."

Elden scoffed but wrapped his arm around Daleen and drew her closer, "Don't you worry about Jijii, Dal. She didn't earn her titles for nothing. Andriantafika, Maharo… She always tried her best for us. No matter what."

Daleen nodded, having listened to Elden or wandered through his dreams and memories for over a century, she knew how important Jijii's beliefs and convictions were to her.

"She could never leave someone helpless. I think she couldn't leave Lucy either."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Jiji was around the same age as Lucy when Zarkon attacked and threw her in the arena. Lucy probably reminded her of her young self and she didn't want history to repeat itself."

Daleen shivered. "I still can't believe my daughter was send to that horrid place. She had done nothing wrong."

"Most of them didn't, Dal. They were enemies of the Empire, people getting in the way of Zarkon's endless reign."

"Still."

"Well at least it allowed them to meet and now we're reunited and they protected each other for all this time. Soon everything will be over and we'll make happier memories together to overthrow this nasty chapter Zarkon included in our lives."

"You and your habit of seeing the glass half full."

"How can you keep fighting in a never ending war without thinking of the positive sides? Without hope?"

Elden closed his eyes, thinking back for a brief second to the time he had almost lost it. Everything had turned out good so far. His daughter was alive and back with them, he could hope for the war to end soon too. He'd never stop praying for a better future for his family.

"I don't need hope," Daleen said, leaning her head on his shoulder as he looked down. "I have you, and our children. And you're all healthy and alive. I don't need anything as fragile as hope. I have all I need here." Elden hugged her tighter, enjoying the calm they could share for once in this crazy world. "I could use my magic hammer now, though."

Elden pulled away and stared at his wife in disbelief. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Daleen's smitten grin. "By Aatmadeva, darling _you're_ the unbelievable one. I'm starting to think Matt should have never introduced you all to those movies."

"Elden, you can't deny that Thor's hammer is pretty awesome. It controls thunder, El. There's nothing cooler than that."

"Right."

"Too bad you can't create a baby Groot with your skills, though. That would have been awesome."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry to be such an awful husband."

Before Daleen was able to reply anything, however, her gaze turned to the edge of the wood. Her smile dropped in an instant, shifting to the scowl of a soon-to-be-angry mother.

"Eurwyn." She wasn't even trying to hide the threat of her tone. "Show yourself."

Without a second call, their son, wearing one of his casual outfits to fit better in crowds, appeared behind the trunk of a young maple tree, sleeves rolled up on his arms.

"I would have thought you were old enough to know I don't like it when you eavesdrop on conversations, Eurwyn." Daleen had stood up, crossing her arms over her chest as she eyed their son.

"I didn't intend to eavesdrop on your conversation, _mother_."

Elden's eyebrows shot up. "Eurwyn? What is it with you all of a sudden?"

Beside him, Daleen looked just as surprised as her husband by the attitude of their son. "Did something happen?"

"Did something happen? Really? That's all you found, mom?" Eurwyn balled his fist, stomping toward them. "You're always making great speech about family and how we tell everything to each other and now _this_?"

"And now what, Eurwyn? Why are you mad at us right now?" Elden exchanged glances with Daleen, seeing the incomprehension on her face as well. Even when he was angry, Eurwyn always managed to stay calm, never letting his emotions get in the way.

"I'm not…" Eurwyn growled, gritting his teeth as he searched for his words. "When were you gonna tell us? Did you even plan to do it?"

"Tell you what? You'll have to excuse me but I don't read minds, Eurwyn. You'll have to explain to me with words if you want me to understand."

"Is this true?" he barked. "Is Jijii the Andriantafika from your stories?"

Elden's eyes widen, finally understanding what lay behind Eurwyn's frustration. "Eurwyn, you need to calm down."

Eurwyn shook his head, pacing in front of them. He had taken Daleen's habit of speaking with his hands, his arms always getting agitated in front of him as his thoughts were faster than his words. "I was on the phone with Matt I didn't intend to eavesdrop but then I heard you and heard what you were talking about and just… I can't possibly accept this."

"Eurwyn there's nothing to accept or deny. This is the truth and I seriously don't see why you're getting all worked up like this."

"This is impossible. No way. I will not accept that."

Daleen finally stepped forward, unable to hear any more of that nonsense. "Eurwyn! Stop!"

Eurwyn's hands stopped in mid air as he turned to face his mother.

"Eurwyn," Daleen repeated calmly. "Please, honey. Even your thoughts don't make any sense right now, you need to calm down. Breathe."

Eurwyn yanked his arm away from her but did as he was told and backed down, his hands falling to his side as he finally took a breath. He lost focus for a second and stared at the ground without saying a word.

Elden walked closer to Daleen and stood beside her, taking her hand as they both waited for their son to find his words to explain what was going on with this newfound rage of his. He had never acted this way around them.

"If she really is Andriantafika," Eurwyn finally mumbled, "If it's really her then… if she really is the one you told us stories about when we were kids, then why isn't she leading this crew? Why does Lucy have to bear this weight instead?"

"Eurwyn, you can't-"

Eurwyn didn't let his father talk. He suddenly looked up, his pale blue eyes piercing through them as resentment boiled behind every of his words. "Why did she let this happen? How could _she_ let this happen?"

Eurwyn took a few steps backward. He looked disgusted. "And how could _you_ , father, even suggest the idea that a person like _her_ could be one of Lucy's-"

"What's going on here?" Jijii interrupted. "Is everything alright? I heard shouts…"

The lieutenant eyed them as she came closer, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.

Eurwyn laughed bitterly, "And there she comes."

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What about _you_ , Andriantafika?"

Jijii's mask faltered for a second, her eyes widening at a title she hadn't heard in ages. She gritted her teeth, her grip tightening around the hilt of her sword.

Eurwyn looked down at her as he kept talking, spitting his words like daggers aimed at a target. "If you really are the _great_ warrior my father speak so high about, then why did you let all of this happen? Where were you when Lucy was captured? Why did you let Lotor capture her one more time? If she means as much to you as you like to pretend, then why couldn't you do your job and protect her when she needed you the most, _Maharo_?"

"Eurwyn, please." Daleen warned again, taking one step toward her son. "Calm down."

"Andriantafika, Maharo… You don't deserve any of those title!"

"Eurwyn!" The woods seem to growl with Elden's growing anger.

"It's fine." Jijii's voice was low, almost cold, but when she turned to Elden, it seemed as melancholy sparked behind the green of her eyes. "Lucy always said her father came from the West… But just as she never mentioned her brother before, she never told me her parents' names. She never talked about her family and I never pushed her to do so but I always thought that she was an orphan. I'm glad I was wrong. I'm happy you're still alive, Denny."

"All of us escaped that day thanks to you. None of us would still be alive if it wasn't for what you've done."

Jijii didn't wince but somehow, Elden had a feeling unwanted memories came back to her – her facade held up, not allowing any unwanted emotion to be spotted. He wasn't the only one scarred with nightmares of Zarkon's attack. He had barely been twelve at the time. And the big sister she was to all of them had been taken away by the new Emperor. Elden's had kept tracks of his old comrades, making sure her sacrifice hadn't been for nothing. Finding out she was part of the survivors too was one of the few reliefs the past years had granted him.

Even with his fuzzy memory, he knew she hadn't changed much since the last time he had seen her. Whereas his physical appearance had changed with the stress of war and parenthood, hers remained the same with her long brown hair and bright red cape. She hadn't grown taller either.

"Don't listen to Eurwyn, he's still a little shaken by the latest events. Everything's happening so fast, forgive him." Elden just wished his son would see her as who she really was. If not a friend, then an ally he needed to respect. But definitely not the dangerous threat Eurwyn depicted to them.

"There's nothing to forgive, Elden. Because he's right."

Neither of the Kyra's had expected such answer from the lieutenant and even Eurwyn stared at her with wide eyes. Jijii kept talking before any of them were able to say anything else.

"There's no need to call me by those titles anymore. Not that there ever was. I never asked for them in the beginning." She turned her gaze to Eurwyn. "Like you said, I don't deserve them and neither do I deserve people such as Lucy in my life. Andriantafika disappeared along with her soulmates and if I was ever worthy of that name… it definitely isn't the case anymore."

Eurwyn remained stunned as she patted his shoulder, shocked by the bright smile she wore. "You're the first one to finally acknowledge that, Eurwyn. I might like you in the end, Fetus Boy."

When she turned back to walk away, however, Eurwyn finally spoke - all animosity gone from his voice. "Does she know? Does Lucy know who you really are?"

Jijii stopped. She answered without looking back. "No. It would have made her doubt her role as leader. If we're all alive today that's because of her, not me. She's our leader, our Captain, and it would never be my choice to take her place. Lucy doesn't need to know."

"How many more secrets are you keeping from her?"

The lieutenant didn't turn back this time and walked toward the house without looking back. The hound greeted her at the top of the hill, dark shadows swirling in the daylight. None of them stopped her and she disappeared in the building.

They didn't follow her either.

#

On the rooftop, Jijii let her feet dangle in the air, her eyes set on the horizon. Daylight didn't last long at this time of the year and the sky was already darkening.

Downhill, the light were still lit in the streets and the small wind carried the sound of music. Jijii wondered if it had anything to do with the festival she had heard Lo talk about. Something about a meteor shower that happened every five years around this time. She hadn't realized it was tonight already.

Even with the warm protection of her cape, she was temperature hadn't dropped at all during the day and it was still warm considering the season, but she felt cold. Her head was pounding. The conversation she had had with the Kyra's - Eurwyn especially - had made everything worse.

Elden. Atlantis. The Arena.

Everything was suddenly rushing in, memories overflowing behind her shut eyelids. For once, there was little she could do about it.

She let herself fall backward and stopped fighting. Her breath caught in her throat as flames started to lick her arms. All of a sudden, the inner walls she had built inside her mind crumbled and she was thrown centuries backward, drowning in the whirlwind of painful memories she had pushed back for all those years.

Alone on the roof, no one came to wake her up.


	27. Iloniaina

IMPORTANT NOTE: This chapter is Jijii's backstory and as my awesome irl Jijii had already wrote part of her backstory long ago and that I couldn't rewrite it as good as her, I copy pasted it with her authorization so most of the chap was written by her. So, don't forget to go and leave comments/kudos on the original version of the story (Julie_Teerah_Eterna) - I left her music links too, so when you see the links, please click and read as the music plays !

 **CHAPTER 28 - ILONIAINA**

 ** _(COPY PASTED JIJII BACKSTORY FROM AO3)_** ****

"How went the deal in Naama'pragya?"

Jijii smiled at the small hologram of her best friends – they were on the boat already, on their way home.

" _Fine_. I told you to stop worrying," Eliott's voice sounded tired. "We will be back home in an hour or so. Are you finished with work too?"

"Uuh…" she hesitated, her smile wavering. "I… might have been on break for a while now and need to get back to it? … No, nope, don't scream! I only have one job left today!"

"I'LL SCREAM ALL I WANT YOU STUPID FIRE OYSTER!"

"El', please." Yoann put a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, smiling as innocently as usual. "She needs breaks too, from time to time. The real question is: why isn't Léo with you?"

"Yoru asked for him to go to the Neraluce Corporation's headquarters, on An'da-zoie. They needed to discuss a plan for the next big mission; I think we're all gonna have some fun and visit a few galaxies."

She smiled at that and so did her friends. They were the bad guys, the criminals working in the shadows; but that's exactly why they knew that they sometimes were the best option for oppressed people. A government or a galaxy's leaders couldn't openly help people against the Galras, not without fearing retaliation. But as a group of renegades? They could act as freely as they desired, the way they wanted to.

Rules meant nothing to a bunch of criminals.

"You should get back before the sun rises," Eliott advised wisely, Yoann nodding by his side. "You can't risk involving innocent people because you're outside."

"Don't worry, I'm aware of it." she chuckled softly and smiled at their holograms, whispering: "See you soon, at home. I love you, _Anir_ , _Asirem_."

"At home. Love you too, _Tsiafoy_." they answered tenderly, before hanging up.

At first, she didn't move, eyes closed and a smile lingering on her lips. She was always amazed at how easily they could make her happy. Years ago, they had discovered that the three of them were each other's _Iloniaina_ – it meant "reason to live", which most civilizations called "soulmates". However, the three teenagers had found out about this ancient Atlantean term during one of their illegal explorations, and had decided to stick to it. Most people on Atlantis had forgotten the roots of their language – but Eliott being a history nerd and Yoann being a language nerd… They had no other choice but to explore ruins and learn about their planet and civilization's story.

And thanks to this adventure, they had found out new nicknames. Yoann was obviously _Anir_ – 'angel'. Eliott was _Asirem_ – 'hope' – because he always saved the day and assured them that one day, they would find a future in which they were happy together. And Jijii had been named, against her will, _Tsiafoy_ – 'who won't be sacrificed'.

She took one last deep breath and jumped on her feet, grabbing her bright red cloak and putting it on her shoulders. After one last glance at the forest behind her, she walked back toward the capital of Aintsoa. The name of this country meant "Beautiful life"; one of the biggest ironies she had ever come across.

The part of the country still made of wilderness and untouched by the Atlanteans? Sure, that was where you could lead a beautiful life. The cities? A living Hell. Because the Galra Empire had started to find an interest in this galaxy, the soldiers had been sent on Atlantis more and more often. The cities were a place where the law of the jungle ruled unless you inhabited the rich neighbors. Hence the apparition of people like her.

The thing on Atlantis was that no matter which country you were born into, you had powers. Some were useful, some were not considered as such – unless you proved yourself to be very creative in the way you used it. And renegade organizations were the most creative people out there.

Jijii walked down the hills and made sure her red hood hid most of her face as she stepped into the Capital; it was like a giant, metallic forest. No green. Steam and charcoal everywhere. She had no doubt there wasn't a single person around her who wasn't wearing at least one weapon on them.

However, she didn't fear any of them. People would glance at her and avoid her; street and shop vendors would greet her with a discreet nod of bow; even in the darkest narrowed streets the criminals would lower their gaze and keep their hands off of their weapons.

She was fourteen – just a kid, right?

"Floor K, please," she politely asked a vagabond, sitting against a half-broken wall at the back of the dirty, tall building. They slowly blinked, seemingly half asleep. "Hiresh. The elevator door, please?"

They blinked again and suddenly looked at her with horror, panic kicking in. They got up on their feet and quickly pressed a bunch of buttons on a panel hidden behind him. The young girl chuckled as the door opened and patted their shoulder lightly before walking in, taking off the hood of her red cloak. The cloak wasn't here to hide her – it was here to catch the enemies' attention and make her a target.

"I-I'm sorry, Andriantafika… which floor did you ask for?" the vagabond asked timidly, rubbing a hand over his beard.

"Floor K. Hiresh, stay awake a little bit longer," she smiled at them as the door biped and closed. "Anir and Asirem will be back soon."

"Yes, Andriantafika."

As soon as she was alone again, Jijii sighed loudly and leaned on the rusty wall behind her, hands on her hips. She had grown so used to being treated like everyone's Boss – "which you are" Eliott repeated to her all the time.

One more sigh.

Jijii had been raised like an orphan. Her family was a wealthy one. She had spent the first few years of her young life in the best part of the capital, within the best schools, looking at the slums from afar only. Until the adults had the terrible idea of letting her use her powers.

Very early they had found out she could create and use fire. Very early they had burdened her with heavy ankle bracelets that refrained her from using her power.

" _You're too dangerous,_ " they used to say. " _We know you don't want to hurt anyone but you might,_ " they used to repeat when her ankles hurt too much for her to get out of bed. " _It'll be different when you grow up and can control yourself,_ " they used to lie.

On her seventh birthday, they had taken the restraints off. She had been so afraid of using her powers the flames she had created that day were barely sparks. However, she had realized the next day at school that anyone looked at her as if she was a monster now that her power wasn't checked by any kind of device. They were all terrified of being hurt. So, a month later, she ran away during a school trip in the city.

She had wandered alone in the streets until she had reached the slums; that dark, giant part of the Capital everyone did their best to forget it even existed. Long story short, trouble had found her; but so, did Eliott. She still remembered that day. Messy and wavy light brown haired, golden eyes, already tall for his age and still so skinny – had it not been for his power, he would never have survived in this environment. One look at each other had been enough for something buried deep inside, a very old and strong bond, to wake up; one look and they had known they were destined to meet.

Jijii had explained to him that she didn't want to go home; didn't want to grow up in a world where she was only considered as a threat or a weapon who could be trained and used to destroy.

" _Stay with me then,_ " Eliott had offered nonchalantly, taking her hand in his and leading her in the maze that the slums were. " _I have no family and I can make yours forget about your existence. I can make everyone forget you are alive. Let's create our own home. Together. I'm not afraid of your powers. Fire can destroy, sure._ "

They crouched by a collapsed building and the nine-year-old boy moved a few rocks. He looked around and nodded to her, silently telling her to follow him underground. She had learned in school that there used to be subways here but that they had all been destroyed the first time the Galras had attempted to conquer their planet.

Eliott placed new boulders in front of the entrance and the darkness engulfed them. He waited a few seconds but heard no reaction from the girl. He turned on his torch, and the look he saw on her face left him gobsmacked; she was smiling and looking around, as if she wasn't exploring the worst part of the city but some kind of magical world.

" _Well, I was going to say that Fire protects you from the dark and leads your way, but it looks like you… are not afraid of the dark?"_

" _Darkness is less scary than what you can see in the light. Adults are much, much scarier._ "

He scoffed at that. " _Amen_."

The two of them had walked in the old subway until they had found the hidden part of the slums. Far away from the citizens' eyes was an underground city. None of the rules of the Capital applied here. Here, the strongest ruled.

Which explained why so many of the orphans accepted to work for criminals and monsters; this way at least they would have food and a shelter. This way, they could survive at least one more day.

Eliott was no exception…

As one of the strongest down there, he was one of the rulers.

" _Welcome to our Subtopia,_ " he had grinned and turned off his torch, looking at the different lights and colors that illuminated the secret city. " _Your power is fire, right? Then you will soon be very strong. If you're strong and dangerous, then here, you'll be respected. This is a place for people like us, the 'unwanted', the 'casted away'._ "

The little girl was lost in thought, gazing at the city in front of her. She had been used to clean buildings, neat streets, pretty and elegant parks.

This place was different. Colorful bubbles floated over the city, their color changing depending on whether it was day or night; right now, it was a bright light blue-green, misty like. Vegetation had found its way despite the lack of natural light; she couldn't tell apart the forest and the walls of the cave from where she stood. Some of the trees were growing on the ceiling, their branches and leaves looking like dark clouds over the city.

" _No one here will be afraid because I have fire? They won't treat me differently?"_ Her voice was barely a whisper, awe shining in her eyes. She gulped and finally looked at Eliott again. " _Why didn't you leave me upstairs?"_

"I _think your fire is the passion and fury some of the kids here need to be able to go out again one day_."

" _You speak like an adult,_ "

"I _t's because I'm old,_ " he sighed and blushed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked away.

" _You look like you're, uh, nine?"_

" _Why the hesitation?"_

" _Why no answer?"_

They stared at each other for a few seconds, brows furrowed. Eventually, Eliott smirked and chuckled lightly before passing an arm around her small shoulders. " _You're funnier than you look. What was your name already?"_

" _I didn't tell you,_ " she pouted, pursing her lips. " _I'm Julie and I don't like this stupid name. And you?"_

" _I'm Eliott Scognamiglio._ "

He glared at her for a moment, thinking. Blinking, he suddenly blurted out: "Jijii _! Jijii sounds like a nice nickname instead of Julie._ "

" _Hey! I want to give you a nickname too! And it's not fair that you know my power and I don't know yours!_ "

" _Time_ ," he mumbled, taking a step back and lowering his gaze. " _My power is to control Time. I can travel through time, stop it, accelerate it, or completely change the course of history if I decide to._ "

" _Oh_ ," the young girl gasped, looking away too. She bit on her lower lip and slowly reached for his hands, tightly holding it between hers. " _I get why the adults… would…_ "

" _Abandon me? Why my parents would leave me here when I was only two? Yeah, I get it too._ "

The little girl bit harder on her lips, trying her best not to let him see the fat tears in her eyes that blurred her vision.

So, she wasn't the only kid in this situation? Before that day, she had never met anyone like her – people with a power that was more of a curse rather than the 'gift' everyone talked about.

She shook her head and grabbed his hands tighter, leading the way with a brand-new smile. " _El'! I want to visit, show me the whole city! I want to meet your friends! And to find a place that will become our very own home! And then, you need to help me so that I become stronger!_ "

Her sudden burst of energy and happiness left him flabbergasted – it was as if she wanted to cheer him up by acting happy. However, the young boy was thankful for it. He sighed in an exaggerated way and rolled his eyes but followed her anyway, secretly relieved to know she wouldn't leave.

Jijii still remembered exploring the hidden city with him and that even the scariest adults didn't dare to lay a finger on Eliott despite his young age. She could never forget the warmth that spread in her heart when Eliott had assured her she was family now, and that they would always have each other's back. She could never forget meeting Yoann for the first time; that boy already was an angel at the time, and the only one able to make Eliott smile like the kid he actually was.

And only a few years later, Eliott and her had created the 'Agence Eterna' – an illegal company, one that would rule over the hidden city and protect those who couldn't protect themselves. She was only ten and Eliott twelve when they had done that. Still, they were a duo feared enough so that even the new gangs thought twice before attacking them.

Controlling time, Eliott was almost untouchable – and people had learned to fear Jijii's fire. She had grown, she had trained, she had gained a horrifying control over her power and had built a wall around her heart to keep the guilt away.

Like everyone else in this dark, hidden city, she had had to prove her worth; thus, she had dirtied her hands more than anyone else. Sometimes it was for surviving – like when she had killed for the first time… at eight years old. And sometimes it was to get the right to go on living here – like when she was nine years old and had learned how to torture someone as slowly as possible, so that they would give her the information she needed for a raid she was planning with the other kids.

Which was actually surprising, knowing Jijii had the habit of masterfully failing almost everything she tried. Nonetheless, when it came to surviving skills and adapting to a new environment, no one could learn faster than she did.

And Yoann?

Yoann had stayed neutral. He, after all, was still living 'upstairs', with the normal people on the surface. Nevertheless, he had never judged Eliott nor Jijii for what they did for a living. Hell, he knew what it was like to be feared without reason: his power was to create and control electricity. The only reason he was not being bullied on the surface was because he was a literal angel with everyone, only using his power to do what was right.

Nowadays, he spent even more time with Eliott and Jijii– he was incredibly useful when they traveled in war zones or to other planets. Yoann's goal in life was to learn each and every language that existed or had existed. Jijii was impressed – not because he was incredibly ambitious, but because he had already mastered all the languages of Atlantis.

Yoann Seren was a language genius; associate that gift with his kind nature and you had the best interpreter and negotiator of the universe.

Jijii smiled fondly at that – it was thanks to him that Eliott and her had learned sign language. Terribly useful on the battlefield. They had made up some signs on their own and had coded a few sentences; for example, if one of them said ' _it's cold outside'_ it meant ' _the enemy found us_ '. So officially, Yoann wasn't linked at all to the Agence Eterna and if someone was responsible of anything, it was Jijii.

 _Floor K_ , a robotic voice announced as the elevator doors opened.

As soon as she stepped out of the cabin, the canon of a gun was pointed on her head. She stilled with a smile and glanced at the person on her right, who could barely see her smirk, hidden by the lock of hair covering the right side of her face. "You threaten your own Andriantafika now, Fanilo?"

The woman gasped and put her weapon away, bowing in front of her. "I-I'm sorry! I've been told to check everyone who would pass through this door… Captain Vz'Heen ordered everyone to be on guard; he noticed the Galras' troops were back in the galaxy."

"It's okay," Jijii chuckled lightly, before glaring coldly at her despite her warm smile. "But do that again and you'll have to say goodbye to the finger you'll have pulled the trigger with."

"Y-Yes, Andriantafika!" The woman lowered her head even more and took a step back – she knew the teenager wouldn't hesitate and was actually showing mercy… other chiefs would have killed her already, had she pointed a weapon at them.

Jijii smiled again and nodded, walking forward. The place was still as devastated as it had been when she had arrived with Eliott. However, there were so many more people – some who sought shelter, some who refused to be enslaved by the Galras, some who were wanted criminals all throughout the galaxy, and some whose only hope left was to try and survive in those slums.

Because of that, Jijii had very quickly made alliances with a few clans she trusted. A little before she turned eleven, she went back to the surface and found Yoru Neraluce. He was the son of Dante Neraluce, who directed the Neraluce Corporation, a huge company on the surface of Atlantis, and one of the biggest organizations there was in the underground world. She had been to school with him and convincing him had been easy; his father had made him do terrible things with his power, in the name of the organization. Yoru wanted things to change for the better, and if for that he had to do the worst, he wouldn't hesitate. From then on, the two had started to work together.

"Oh, Fanilo?" Jijii turned around, remembering something out of the blue. "Léo won't be back today, he's on An'da-zoie. He has work to finish at the Neraluce's HQ. But Yoann and Eliott should be here soon. If you point any kind of weapon at them…"

The two exchanged a long stare, the teenager letting the older woman's imagination guess what would happen to her if she tried anything.

Nodding, Jijii smiled and kept walking toward the biggest building that still stood in the underground city. She had barely stepped inside when she was attacked, falling backward.

A pack of kids literally jumped on her, screaming and smiling and all trying to get a hug.

"Ouch, kiddos… What did I say about sneaky attacks?" she grumbled, trying to get in a sitting position. One of the kids had his arms around her neck and was floating above her, a big grin on his face.

"You said ninjas had to be sneaky!" they answered as one.

"Andriantafika, I think you should stop teaching them how to become ninjas." a man laughed, sitting at a desk. Ushma was the teacher in charge of this group of children, and wasn't surprised anymore that the one girl feared by everyone was loved by the kids of the ghettos.

"Yeah, the day you all stop calling me 'Andriantafika'," she scoffed, hugging one of the youngest children – Onja was only three years old – against her, kissing her forehead.

"You earned that title the day you turned eleven and won the battle against the Galra army on Atlantis' biggest moon." he stated confidently.

Jijii felt a blush spread on her face. She still wasn't used to being praised; despised, feared, hated, _that_ was the usual.

"Mh, by the way? This moon's mine now." They all laughed. "It wasn't much, I was well prepared." she joked, actually believing that she had only been lucky.

"You had a strategy!" one of the kids yelled, jumping on their feet, arms raised high above their head and flowers growing on their freckled shoulders. "You found out their plan and spied on them and used the best of your powers and those of your allies to win as fast as possible and kidnap their commandant!"

"And then you killed him because the Galras do not negotiate, but it was retransmitted in the whole galaxy and all the rebels saw it!"

" _Ushma_! The hell are you teaching them?" Jijii groaned, finally getting up, even if she still had Onja in her arms and the floating kid sitting on her shoulders.

"Our city's history, my Andriantafika." the old teacher said with a calm, kind tone. His purple eyes shone, their hue turning a warmer shade of purple. "You desperately fought to keep the Galras away when Atlantis' government was losing the negotiations. Your pilot skills were better than what you had shown here…"

"Because here if I drive like I do on the battlefield I might hurt civilians…" she grumbled with a pout, narrowing her eyes.

"And you won a war, with only the help of a few soldiers, Eliott, and the main generals of the new generation of the Neraluce Corporation. You earned your title."

She opened her mouth to deny it again, but the flower kid tucked on her red cloak with a smile so big she couldn't just ignore them. "Teacher Ushma taught us about the 'Andriantafika' title. It's a very very old Atlantean word that used to mean 'King of the armies'. Only the greatest warriors had the honor of receiving such title! You're the youngest Andriantafika ever!"

Jijii bit the inside of her cheeks – she wanted to contradict them so much, tell them she didn't deserve the title, that she wasn't strong nor courageous enough yet…

But they were looking at her so proudly.

All the kids were beaming.

She was too weak; she couldn't just destroy their dream like that.

"I am indeed," she finally approved with a sigh, shaking her head. The whole group cheered and bounced, the floating kid accidentally ended up stuck to the ceiling. They all laughed and she sat down on the floor with them, after they had managed to make the flying kid come down; he was holding onto her cloak, Onja now napping on her knees. "But a little bird told me I had a new name in the slums."

The group gasped and exchanged panic glances.

She hadn't expected that at all and frowned. "What? What is the matter?"

"W-We…" one of the kids gulped and hid under her cloak, too ashamed to face her. "We're the one who spread it… We found the name when we were studying history with teacher Ushma near the forest, with all the other kids."

"... Tell me what it is, I swear I won't get mad. And you all know I always keep my promises." she whispered on a much calmer tone, offering the kids a sweet smile.

Jijii knew she wasn't one to have kids – _what if they turned out like her? What if she turned out to be like the other adults when she grew up?_ Nonetheless, she loved taking care of children and teaching them; had she not been a warrior and renegade, she would probably have become a teacher here.

She mentally slapped herself; now wasn't the time.

A small voice spoke.

"... _Maharo_."

Jijii blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

"W-We call you Maharo… and the other kids too… A-And most of the adults living in the hidden city and in the slums on the surface." another admitted shyly, twiddling her thumbs. "P-Please, don't be mad…"

"Mad?" Jijii chuckled at that and hugged as many kids as she could at once. The teenager quickly chased away the tears that threatened to blurry her vision. "How? How could I be mad? This new title… I will do my best to live up to it. I promise to you. All of you. _Forever_."

Ushma laughed and got up, nodding and rubbing his hand against his chin. "Andriantafika and Maharo… 'The King of the armies' and 'the one who can protect'. I can't wait so that every renegade knows about that new title, it really suits you."

Jijii lowered her gaze, a small smile on her face. She was not used to being... respected. Trusted. From the moment she had accepted to live here with Eliott, she had learned to master her power. She had killed, she had tortured, she had fought in too many battles and now? Now she had mastered the art of hiding behind a mask. She could act innocent one second and be the cruelest person the next instant; it was as easy as pressing a switch. But if losing herself in the darkness; if tainting her soul with more and more blood meant she could protect more people… she wouldn't feel the slightest hesitation.

She would take it all on herself.

"Maharo?"

The voice of the youngest child brought her back to reality.

"Yes, Onja?"

"Where is teacher Yoann? And teacher Eliott?"

"They were on a mission, they will be back soon, my dear."

"Talking about your platonic soulmates, your dear platonic Iloniainas," Ushma wondered, crossing his arms over his chest. "They went and left you alone? That doesn't sound like something those two stupid boyfriends would do!"

Jijii couldn't help but laugh at that – the old man wasn't wrong, she had had to physically fight them to make them go on their mission while she stayed alone on Atlantis. "You're wrong on one point though."

"Really? Tell me what, my Andriantafika?"

She grinned and looked at her phone, checking the time. "I think that by now, they're finally _fiancés_."

The room exploded, both teacher and child screaming at the news. Jijii burst out of laughter – of course she had known all along that this would happen when they would come back from their mission.

Both boys had planned to propose and had asked her for advice, not knowing at all the other had had the very same idea.

"Awh man, I can't wait to see them with their matching bracelets on their wrist…" she sighed happily, relishing in the joyful feeling that filled the room. "It's one of the very few Atlantean tradition that I like."

"They will have romantic soulmates jewels!" one of the kids screamed, beaming.

"But teacher Eliott and teacher Yoann already had special jewels on them!" another replied, worried.

"Those are the one I exchanged with them," Jijii explained softly. She showed them the black and silver ring on her right hand, and the triskelion necklace she always wore, no matter what. "Eliott and Yoann are my platonic soulmates. Yoann gifted me the ring and Eliott the necklace. Which is why they both respectively have a ring and a necklace I made for them too."

"Is it true that when you find your soulmates you can never separate ever again?"

"Yes and no," Ushma said, kneeling beside them to be part of the discussion too – it was an important matter on Atlantis. "You can separate, like… Like Eliott and Yoann going on another planet for a mission. Nothing happened to them nor Jijii. But if they were to be separated against their will? Someone taking them away? It would be…"

"It would be torture." Jijii stated with an icy glare, clenching her fists. She gulped and took a deep breath in, wearing another smile again in order not to frighten the children. "Having one of your soulmates taken away or dying... will usually kill you too. The emotional damage is… It doesn't only affect your heart – it's a direct wound to the core of your soul."

"Few were the people who outlived the death of one of their soulmates for more than six months, it is but a matter of time until the inevitable." Ushma nodded gravely, adding with a whisper: "It's why most people nowadays are afraid to discover who their soulmate is; they're afraid of the pain they will feel when they will lose them, despite it being part of the cycle of life."

Jijii closed her eyes at that, taking a deep breath in.

She had always felt terribly lucky to discover who her platonic soulmates were when she was seven years old. She had no idea if she had romantic soulmates, if she would ever have one. She felt blessed to have the two most wonderful people of the universe as her platonic soulmates – they were _her_ Iloniainas, her _reasons to live_.

"Ushma! Andriantafika! Help!"

Both turned around abruptly, surprised by the sudden arrival of a group of armed underlings in the classroom. Jijii spotted blood on them; their weapons were tainted by it too.

"What is it?" she demanded, her eyes turning back to ice. She got up quickly and glanced at Ushma, ordering him with a single look to look after the kids.

"The Galras… The Galras landed in the Capital!"

"Is there no one stopping them on the surface?"

Wrong. It was so wrong.

She unsheathed her black sword right away, stomping out of the building. She sank a hand in her pocket and retrieved a small device, clipping it to her right ear and calling her Iloniainas right away.

 _Answer, please, I beg of you guys, answer!_

"Andriantafika…" the underling looked at her in a way she hadn't seen in years; pure terror. "The government of the capital… allowed them to land here."

Even though she wasn't the smartest of the hidden city, this piece of information was enough to understand what was going on.

Atlantis had bought their freedom by selling the slums and hidden city to the Galras; they were just people the higher-ups thought of as a nuisance.

"They want to get rid of us…" she groaned, teeth clenched. The beeping noise in her ear stopped and a deep voice answered:

" _Jijii? Tsiafoy? Are you alright?"_

"Safe and sound," she claimed without a doubt, analyzing the situation. The ground and the walls of the cave were shaking, each earthquake stronger than the previous one. "Are you two okay?"

" _Yes,_ " Eliott said sternly.

" _Nope!"_ Yoann countered. Jijii heard a multitude of noises, the voice of the two boys being muffled for a few moments. Yoann came back on the phone but she heard screams in the background. " _We almost made it back but we were stopped near the elevators of the south slums! Ji'..._ "

"... They knew you would come back. They're going to strike right where you are." she mumbled under her breath. She didn't realize yet she had started running toward the closest exit she could find to rejoin the surface; her mind was so busy overthinking she couldn't hear her soldiers' calls anymore. "I'm on my way. Hold on until I get there!"

" _Jijii no!_ " Eliott took the phone back, voice hoarse. " _You're the Andriantafika, you have to fight to protect the people who can't fight!_ "

"What's the point in protecting this place if I lose my home?!" she yelled back, out of breath. She couldn't hide the way her voice shook at the idea of losing them; she could lie to anyone but them. "You're my home. Yoann and you are my home. People here grew stronger, we made sure of that… If the Galras are here, then you're my priority."

A silence followed.

" _... Copy that. Be careful._ "

Orange will-o'-the-wisps appeared when she snapped her fingers and lighted her way in one of the abandoned tunnels; everyone had quickly forgotten those when the Neraluce had helped setting up the elevators. Jijii knew that Eliott's simple, short message, hid more than it looked; he felt the same way as she did. None of them could handle the loss of the home they had finally found in each other.

So, she ran. She ran as fast as she could, sword hanging on her hip and her red cloak on her shoulders, hood covering her head.

Reaching the ending of the tunnel felt like it took an eternity. This path was longer, but if the Galras knew where to find the elevators she wouldn't be able to step out of it alive.

When she finally exited the dark corridor, she stopped. The usual blue sky was hidden by massive clouds of black smoke. The usual music played by street artists in the slums had gone silent; replaced by the uninterrupted noise of guns and cries of pain.

She had to find her Iloniainas. Right away.

But firstly…

"Ushma?" she asked as soon as the ringtone had stopped. "I need you to do something. Sound the _Annwn_ alarm."

" _A-Andriantafika? Are you sure about that?"_ the old man stuttered, anxiety lingering in his tone.

"It's an order," she claimed, voice harsh. She was back to her usual role; that of a warrior on a battlefield. After all, it was what suited her the most. "I'm counting on you to protect the children and lead them as far away as possible. You'll be the Neraluce's priority as soon as you'll have rung the alarm."

" _But… And you, Andriantafika?"_

She wore a sad smile, lowering her gaze. She knew he couldn't see the smile she was faking to reassure him, but it had become a habit to do so. "I'm the Andriantafika; I belong to the battlefield, leading our armies against the enemy."

" _It was an honor to meet you."_ he whispered weakly. Jijii closed her eyes; she made no comment about the sobs he was desperately trying to hide. " _Will you… Do you think we will meet again?"_

"Ushma…"

She opened her eyes again and stared at the Galra battleship floating above the City. She did what she was the best at; she lied and faked a happy tone before hanging up.

Zarkon himself had come to take care of the situation.

"I'm sorry."

Jijii shook her head and didn't waste any more time. She ran and turned in the narrowest streets, perfectly knowing her way in the Capital. She grabbed a shop vendor's shoulder and thrust him against a wall. A simple demonstration of her power was enough to make him understand she would take whatever she needed in his shop or she would make him suffer.

He agreed immediately, pleading for his life. But she didn't care the slightest about his life; she wanted his hoverbike.

She took the keys and jumped on the engine. The next moment, she was already out of sight, skillfully piloting in the middle of the streets.

" _Andriantafika!"_

" _Maharo!_ "

The people's whispers soon evolved in cheers and screams. The Galra soldiers turned their attention on her; the association of this name and her red cloak were the warning they had received from their superiors.

But that was exactly why she was wearing a bright red cape: if the enemies focused on her, then everyone else could hide and flee. She had earned her Maharo title – the one who can protect – for a reason.

"Catch me if you can, brainless soldiers!" she yelled, openly provoking them as she drove right by them. With a smirk, she sent their weapons on fire; unfortunates were the ones holding weapons loaded with inflammable ammos.

The dynamic of the battle switched right away; most troops were given the order to stop her.

 _Perfect,_ she thought calmly. _The more time I buy, the less they will focus on the inhabitants of the slums and of the hidden city._

Jijii took an abrupt turn in the main street, people running away as soon as they caught sight of her red cloak. Her eyes were scanning the crowds with the hope of finding her Iloniainas – at least she knew she didn't have to worry about Léo or Yoru, they weren't even on the planet at the moment.

Nevertheless, the next thing she knew, her face was meeting with the cold hard asphalt.

Her body roughly rolled on the floor as she was ejected from her hoverbike. Grunting, she took one second to take a deep breath in and check if she had broken anything.

She was bleeding here and there and a good part of her face felt numb; apart from that, she was fine. She got up and groaned painfully. Ok, maybe she wasn't that fine – her whole body started aching as soon as she was up on her feet.

 _Not now, not now, not now,_ she begged internally, biting her tongue.

"Julie Teerah, Leader of the Eterna," a deep voice called from behind. She turned around and saw a dozen of soldiers circling her, weapons aimed at her. "Surrender now and your life will be spared."

"Ah!" she sneered, running a hand over her face. She took her hood off and showed them her brightest smile, opening her arms widely. "At what cost though?"

The only answer she received were the shrieks of pain and horror that escaped the soldiers as she set them all on fire. She didn't budge when some fell on the ground, pleading for mercy but already unable to form words, their voice reduced to mere howls.

The smile on her face was as icy as the flames she used to eliminate her enemies were hot.

Hesitation wasn't part of her vocabulary on the battlefield.

No one threatened her people.

 _No one._

"Bring it on," she whispered, glaring at Zarkon's ship.

Without the stolen hoverbike, she had to try and find her friends by running in the streets, at anyone's mercy. Every time soldiers attacked her, she kept them at bay by using her fire. It was tiring her terribly quickly, but it was her best option.

After a few more minutes, she beheld a very familiar shade of hair – brown hair so pale it looked blond under the sun. A grin grew on her face and her legs reacted faster than her brain did, taking her to that person's side.

Well, she wished she could have made it to their side.

" _Jijii stay away!_ "

Eliott's cry was too late.

Before she knew it, druids attacked her with dark quintessence and she found herself lying on the floor once again. Her instinct kicked it – they had been prepared for that too. As soon as she tried to get back up, someone was stabbing both of her hands to the floor with a sharp hunting knife.

"Jijii!" Both Eliott and Yoann's voice broke when they yelled her name.

"So, you're the one leading the renegades on Atlantis, huh?"

She looked up, hatred burning in her eyes. Zarkon was standing a few feet away – she recognized him because of all the propaganda the Galras had been spreading in the universe those past few millennia. Jijii hated being looked at in this way. She was lying on the floor, unable to move her hands because of the weapon that was keeping them stuck to the ground.

However, she had absolutely no reason to do what she always did best.

So, she lied.

"So, you're the biggest douche of the universe, huh?" she sassed back with a shit-eating grin.

Zarkon nodded and a druid hit her with dark quintessence again. The teenager opened her mouth but refused to let any scream escape her. She would control herself. She would never give in to the pain they wanted to inflict on her.

Eliott and Yoann's voices seemed so far away. Jijii glanced at them; their hands were tied and–

"That's…"

Horror took over.

Both of her Iloniainas were wearing restraining necklaces. Atrocious metallic cuffs around their neck. It explained their situation; had Eliott been able to use his Time power, they wouldn't be prisoners of the Galras.

Jijii could guess how their enemies had managed this trick. They didn't need to directly defeat Eliott; they only needed to tire him enough for him to lower his guard for a second. And then they could strike and attack Yoann – if they knew he was his soulmate, then they knew he was his biggest weakness and could make a puppet out of Eliott by threatening Yoann.

"I see, I see…" Jijii smiled and chuckled, nails digging in the floor. "I will admit it: that was a bright move."

"I have no interest for your opinion," the Galra stated with a stern voice. Jijii breathed for three seconds then blocked the air for seven. She needed to control herself, needed to keep a clear mind to find a way out of this. "So that's it? You're the child who defeated one of my commandants three years ago? A pathetic person like you?"

"Your commandant was stupid and incompetent," Jijii answered with a shrug, refusing to give her smile up. "He wasn't prepared at all for this battle… But you were, right? Your strategy is too clean, too perfect… You had been preparing this raid for a while, huh?"

She looked at him in the eyes, her burning gaze defying him and her smile as bright as ever. Maybe – just maybe – if he were to lose his cool, she could have an opportunity and…

" _Enough!_ " a voice cut, hissing.

Jijii had barely noticed the woman; her cloak was covering most of her face and body, only her hands and long white hair visible. Jijii's smile sharpened; she took the opportunity and lighted a bright fire right where the witch was standing, not allowing her to finish what she had to say.

Panic took over the druids; they almost all took a step back, unable to decide how to react. The bright, red fire had appeared all of a sudden, taking them aback.

The witch, however, got rid of the flames with a single movement of her hand, as if she had just chased a fly away. She scarcely lifted her chin and stared at Jijii, who was still lying on the floor. "Restrain that wild child. And prepare the other two for their cells."

The three teenagers opened their eyes wide, realization hitting them.

Jijii was the first one to react.

" _Don't you dare!_ Let them go, you cowards!" she roared as she fought the restraining bracelet they were closing around her ankles. Struggling with all her might, two soldiers had to crouch by her side and maintain her arms against the floor. "Lay a finger on them and I'll make you suffer for eternity! I will make you beg me to set you on fire and cut your suffering short!"

"You will be publicly executed, as an example." Zarkon said without looking at her, already walking back toward his battleship. "And your friends will serve the Empire. The boy who creates electricity will be a powerful battery for our weapons; he might also prove himself useful as a torturer. And after brainwashing the one controlling Time, no one will be able to oppose the Galra Empire ever again. We might just as well travel back in time and retrieve the Black Lion of Voltron…"

The sentence was worse than what any of them had imagined. When Jijii looked up, the only thing she saw on her soulmates' faces was despair and terror.

Never had she seen them this way. The boys she knew were scared of being left behind, scared of thunder and mirrors… They had their own irrational fears, but never had they feared someone.

She struggled harder, screamed louder. The physical pain was nothing compared to the guttural feeling that was taking over her.

No one could take her soulmates away.

No one could hurt them that way.

"You quiznacking son of a–"

Her words died in her throat when she raised her head again.

Eliott and Yoann were fighting back and resisting the soldiers who were to take them to the battleship. Fear had left their face; the only emotion left she could read was determination.

She knew that look couldn't mean anything good.

Her fears were confirmed when the two boys managed to keep their opponent at bay despite the collars on their neck and the handcuffs on their wrists.

Jijii shook her head, unable to look away.

 _Don't,_ she pleaded internally. _Don't speak, please! I will find a way to save you! Please stay quiet!_

The two boys gazed at each other with a warm smile and turned to her. Their decision was clear. Still, she refused to believe it could be real.

She refused to accept that it was the only way.

 _Please, don't! Don't look so relieved! Don't speak, I beg of you… Stay quiet, don't look at me like that, don't–_

"Dear Alice,"

With only two words, her heart stopped.

The druids and soldiers restraining her noticed the change in her behavior. She had stopped struggling. She had lowered her head, forehead pressed against the asphalt. Her shoulders were subtly shaking and her heartbeats had accelerated.

Jijii allowed herself one second; one second during which she let despair take over both her heart and mind.

And then, she put her mask back on again.

She knew exactly what to do; the steps she had to follow were so methodic she felt like a robot accomplishing them.

The first knife she already had – she needed another. She freed her hands from the knife by forcefully rising them. Just as quickly, she grabbed it and turned around while kicking the legs of the soldier behind her.

Next step; she stabbed his inner thigh, slashing the femoral artery neatly with the knife while she stole his hidden knife with her free hand – _back of the right boot, blade without a shaft_.

Just as methodically, she stabbed the two druids by her sides, going for the neck. She didn't need to make sure she had killed them; she just had to slow them down.

The last step was the more difficult; but she had already allowed herself her one second of despair.

She bounced back on her feet and closed the distance between her and her soulmates without anyone having the time to stop her.

The witch had only just started yelling an order when she interrupted herself, eyes going wide.

 _Go for the heart._

 _Stab._

 _Turn one quarter on the right._

 _Take the blade out._

Jijii's movements had been precise, giving the illusion of being effortless when it had actually been the most difficult task she had ever had to accomplish.

Her hands refused to let go of the weapons despite what her brain was yelling at her. Her whole body was shaking. She couldn't even tell apart the pain from her body and her soul. The sound of her heartbeat was all she could hear. The warmth of the black blood running of her hands was all she could feel. The metallic odor that filled her nostrils was too strong – too different from how her Iloniainas usually smelled.

Eliott and Yoann both reached out for her, pressing their nose against hers, each caressing her face with a hand. They smiled at her and that only made her heart ache more. _What had she done?_

 _What had they asked her to do?_

Jijii fought back an ugly sob, refusing to let the tears that burned her eyes roll down on her cheeks. She couldn't possibly cry – not when they were offering her their brightest, kindest smile. Eliott's golden eyes had lost their glim but still conveyed all the emotions he couldn't put into words. Yoann smile wasn't as big as usual but it was still the most dazzling smile of the universe.

The words she spoke then were for them; and only them. Her voice was so weak. She had no mask to hide behind – they had all crumbled along with the core of her soul when she had committed the worst crime she could ever think of.

When she had obeyed the order, they had given through a simple code they had made up together and were to follow no matter no circumstances.

When she had killed them.

" _D-Dear Alice…_ " she whispered as Eliott closed his eyes. The tremor in her voice grew stronger. She could feel their body getting colder against her, black drops staining her red cloak. " _If this world isn't right then… Let's meet again… in the next one._ "

"Thank you… Thank you…"

At Yoann's words, Jijii felt the guilt crawl back inside of her, trying to eat her flesh and her mind all at once. She slowly passed her arms around their waist and clang onto them, blood still running along her hands as she couldn't let go of the knives. Her clenched fists were as stuck on what she had done as her brain.

"I-I… I would have come for you… I would have found a way… to save you both…"

"You couldn't have…" Eliott whispered, using what strength he had left to rub his fingers against her cheek.

"I-I'm Maharo… I had to protect you… I was to–"

"Then you can't cry." Eliott ordered, coughing, his eyes closing against his will. "You're our… our…"

" _Tsiafoy_ …" Yoann finished, his body going limp in her arms.

At that instant, something broke inside her.

Something that, even if put back together, would never be the same ever again.

Jijii had always felt lucky she had met her soulmates so young, had always felt lucky to know who they were and to be able to spend so much time with them.

She had cherished each and every instant they had had together and had always known it wouldn't last forever.

But she had always thought she would be the first one to go.

The teenager didn't know anymore what was going on. She clung onto their bodies and closed her eyes, refusing to let go. She could tell they were already gone; that presence at the back of her mind, that warm whisper in her heart that always assured her that they were alive…

It had all disappeared.

It was gone.

Her whole universe had just vanished in a second, and still, the pain lingered in her heart. She couldn't care less about the stingy feeling in her hands or her legs; those wounds were nothing.

How could the pain feel so overwhelming when she had become but a hollow shell?

"Take her,"

Jijii felt hands grabbing her shoulders.

They wanted to take her away from her Iloniainas.

 _No! no stop, please! not yet! I can't let go! No!_

At that point, she didn't even know if she was speaking those words or simply thinking them – not that it mattered anyway.

"I've changed my mind," the witch whispered with a dark smile, sending chills down the girl's spine. "You seem to be much stronger than what I gave you credit for. Being able to put your feeling aside to do what you have to…"

The teenager scarcely reacted to her words, her gaze stuck on her soulmates' bodies.

 _Corpses,_ a little voice susurrated through the cracks of the broken shell she had been reduced to. _They're dead. You killed them. You were their Iloniaina and you still murdered them in cold blood._

Everything around her had been reduced to white noises. Her mind could only focus on one thing: she had killed them.

What she owed them was at least a proper burial.

Her eyes slowly analyzed what and who was around her. She still had those knives in her hands, and now that she had stopped struggling, the soldiers had lowered their guard.

Jijii's mind was blurry and fuzzy; but she couldn't allow herself to mourn her loved ones until she finished what she had started.

Without a second thought, she stabbed the back of one of the soldier's knees, going straight for the gun he was holding. She pulled the trigger once, twice.

Two more corpses on the floor.

Not a single emotion on her face.

Jijii wouldn't let anyone stop her; her mind was set.

She aimed the gun at her ankles and shot.

The pain grew louder in both her mind and her limbs. But she refused to ignore it; she didn't want the pain to go silent all of a sudden. She would acknowledge every single ache in her body and mind and let it try to gnaw her insides.

She deserved to suffer for what she had done.

Her legs felt like a pure definition of Hell. The flesh was burning and healing at the same time, black blood spilling on the floor. Everyone talked about how fast an Atlantean could heal; she knew after years of battles that it was sometimes more of a curse. The burns on her feet were trying to heal but the hit had been too hard: the degeneration was faster than her regeneration capacity.

But she couldn't care less, she had done what she wanted. The cuffs were off now and nothing could restrain her power.

So, before the druids could stop her, she did the one thing she had to.

 _For her soulmates._

Jijii reached out a hand for them and activated her power before the enemies could hit her with their corrupted quintessence. She looked at her soulmates' corpse burn only a few meters away from her…

And what she felt was relief.

She felt relieved to know they were finally free.

 _You can travel to the next world now… Let's meet again._

"What are you waiting for?! Stop her!" Zarkon growled at his soldiers. Even he got scared by the fire she had started; the flames had turned a darker hue. The arson looked like monstrous shadows trying to devour everything they would find on their path.

She closed her eyes and let the soldiers thrust her against the floor, restraining her much more carefully than before. Three guns were aimed at her head, only a few inches away.

 _It doesn't matter._

They forced her to get up despite the state of her ankles. The witch walked to her, lifting her chin with her frail hand and examining her, searching for details she had missed. She wouldn't underestimate Jijii anymore, that was for sure.

 _Nothing matters anymore._

The witch smiled again, her eyes shimmering with interest. No matter what she had in store for her, no matter the kind of torture she would put Jijii through, the teenager knew it could never be worse than the wrecking emptiness that filled her. She stared back at the witch, her eyes as cold as her black soul.

 _Calling me Tsiafoy one last time… you guys know it is unfair._

"Julie Teerah, was it?" the sorceress asked; Jijii didn't waver. "You're not going to be executed. That would be such a waste…"

 _I can't protect anyone, I can't be Maharo – I should have died in your steads._

"Trust me… A cold-hearted monster like you belongs in the Arena."

(END OF COPY PASTED JIJII BACKSTORY FROM AO3))

Jijii didn't fight when they took her by the arms and dragged her away from the street. She didn't fight when they threw her in their ship nor did she when they locked the door of her cell behind her three days later.

She didn't scream when the wound on her hand finally healed. Didn't blink when she was sent to the arena and the light of the pit blinded her. Didn't hesitate one split second when her first opponent came to her.

Her sword plunged through his chest. The crowd cheered. The fight hadn't even lasted a minute.

Once again, blood was her hand.

Another door opened, and another opponent came to her, all fangs and blades out. She didn't even wipe her blade before she throw herself at him. He was scared. He was no fighter. He had no chance against her.

Fight after fight, the cheers grew louder in the pit. She tried to ignore them at first, but if the Galra wanted blood, she'd give them what they wanted. She'd stay there and fight all the people they'd send her way.

She'd become the Champion.

She'd kill them all.

Days turned into months, months into years, and soon enough she lost track of how long she'd been there. She no longer had the hands of a fourteen-years-old, she knew she'd been there long enough to stop aging, to stop noticing the years and the numbers of solstice she was missing.

Ever since the bloodbath that had been her first fight, she had been sent to the ring to finish off the strongest of warriors, the one who had survived all the fight until now. The public wanted suspense. They wanted to know when she'd fall, wanted to know who would be the one to finally win against her. They made bets based on those thoughts and theories.

Sometimes, she'd go on days without seeing anyone, with barely enough food or water to survive. They wanted to raise the stake, to make her suffer. She couldn't be enjoying her stay, it'd ruin their fun.

The witch had been right. She was a monster.

Bloodlust. Anger. Revenge. That's all she cared about.

How many people had she killed since she'd been here? How many fights? How much blood? How much death? How many people had she killed in cold blood? She didn't know. She didn't care. It wasn't their face that haunted her at night.

Her memories were her true jailers.

 _Eliott. Yoann._

Even after all those years spent their face didn't fade from her mind. They never would.

In the shadows of her cell, night or day, her body was shaking. The fresh blood on her hand would turn black. The strong metallic odor would fill her nostril. Too strong. Too different. _Wrong_. So much wrong. Her stomach churned. Her eyes remained dry. She didn't have the right to cry, she didn't have the right to grieve, didn't have the right to move on. Her soulmates - her Iloniaina- had died. She would never recover from such event. _She_ had killed them. She needed to pay for her crimes.

She wasn't Andriantafika any longer. She was the Champion.

She wasn't Maharo. Never had been.

She was a fraud, a betrayer.

She was the monster of the stories.

She deserved everything that was happening to her.

#

Her next trial didn't come in the arena. She supposed it was all fun to them. Just another way to test her and see what she was capable of. Just to see how much of a cold-hearted monster she had become, probably.

She sat and stared from her corner as the door opened. The Galra officer didn't even spare a glance at her. Officers usually never came to the cells. It was way too filthy and degrading for their level. Simple soldiers took care of the prisoner. Sometimes, other slaves were on watch. Never officers. He wasn't there for her.

 _Too young, too young,_ screamed her mind at the sight of the frail body hitting the ground. Jijii would have thought the girl was dead already if it wasn't for her shaking limbs.

Jijii turned her back to her. She didn't want her there. She wanted her to leave. She didn't want to share her space with her. She wouldn't play with the Galra games. She wouldn't hurt her. But it didn't mean she'd enjoy her presence either.

She promised herself to kill more opponents the next day, just so the young girl would be sent to her own cell. If they were too crowded, Jijii would get them rid of a few prisoners. She just wanted the girl away from her.

But her mind was still racing. The only thing she could think about was the young girl's silhouette. Her white summer dress tainted with dirt and blood. The girl was barefoot, she couldn't be older than Jijii when she had been sent it first. She didn't look like the soldier Jijii had been at that age already.

She was just a girl. What had she done to be sent there? Had the Empire gone so bad it sent innocent kids to the arena, now? _Why_ was she here? What were the Galra up to?

All Jijii could think of was the dry blood on the girl's dress, the red markings on her pale skin, swirling around her arm and disappearing behind her hair in familiar patterns Jijii hadn't seen in years.

The blood wasn't all Galra. It was black. Dark as the night. The girl came from Atlantis.

For the first time she had been taken away, Jijii wanted to scream. She felt bile rise in her throat as she tried to ignore what was already evident to the other half of her heart. She'd been too young to realize it when she had first met Elliott, had barely noticed it when Yoann had come into their lives as well. But now she could feel it, twisting and twirling around her chest.

When the soldier came back the next day, aiming for the girl's arm Jijii lashed out on him. She wanted nothing to do with the girl, wanted to blame her from all the memories she brought to the surface of her mind. She wanted to hate her so badly for what was about to happen once again.

But Jijii wouldn't let history repeat itself.

She wouldn't let the Galra win.

She wouldn't let them break another soul.

She wouldn't let the world take another Iloniaina from her.


End file.
